A Helping Hand

Indy downed another glass of wine while waiting for her guests to arrive. She was sitting on her couch, staring at the front door while Winston was on her right, Julia on her left, both fast asleep and taking up 2/3 of the couch. She put her glass down on the coffee table and lay her hand on each of her dogs, softly patting them as they slept. She thought back to earlier this morning, and smiled.

~!~!~!~! Flashback !~!~!~!~

Indy sustained the final chord of Seize the Day for an extra 8 beats after it was strummed, concluding her work on the Avenged Sevenfold album tentatively titled “City of Evil”. The recording room was silent as the track was stopped, the moment bittersweet for everyone involved. For the first time in a long time, Indy was recording in front of the whole crew, everyone having turned up for her last day. At first it made her nervous as she had gotten into the habit of recording alone with Brian, but she shook off the anxiety and tried to enjoy the company while she had it.

“That’s all she wrote,” Indy said, breaking the silence. She spun around to view her audience, a mixture of tight-lipped smiles and frowns greeted her. She tried to lighten the mood, pointing at Zacky when she next spoke, “Or, he wrote.”

“Excuse you,” Brian piped up, glaring at me. “I believe that I wrote that.”

“Jesus, you make one mistake,” Indy replied, raising her hands in defence. She quickly lowered them, grabbing the neck of the guitar in her hand to make sure it didn’t slip off her lap. She cringed at the thought of dropping it, especially as it was one if Brian’s custom Schecters.

“Luckily you made none today,” Mudrock said, already adjusting the EQ on the track she had just finished recording.

“What faith you have in me, father,” she replied, flipping him off. She plastered on a smile, trying to will herself into a better mood. “Can you play that back now? I’m dying to hear it all together.”

Mudrock gave in to his daughters request, flipping back to the tracking page and starting the now complete song. He and Matt had tracked the vocals yesterday afternoon, so they had only a few bits to add in now the main recording work had been finished

The group listened to the song together, the track being a very fitting end to their recording time together. Indy rose from her seat, moving around the studio to place the guitar back with the others that lined the wall. She would miss playing those guitars. She leant against the wall, not wanting to disturb everyone again as they listened to the track. She couldn’t help but start to get emotional as she looked around the room at the men who had become almost like family.

~!~!~!~! End Flashback !~!~!~!~

Indy sighed at the memory, thanking God that she had managed to reign in her emotions and not make a fool of herself. As soon as the band had deemed that the recording was perfect and that it was official that Indy had recorded her last section on the album, she had invited them all around for a final celebration. She had spent enough time at their houses in Huntington, it was only fair that she invite them to her house.

She had left the studio after lunch, making a few stops on the way home so her house was loaded with alcohol and food, and spent the rest of the afternoon in a cleaning frenzy. Her house wasn’t messy, and she knew that the boys would be the last ones to notice if it was, but had kept her busy while she waited for time to tick by.

She gave the dogs one last scratch and rose to her feet, grabbing her wine glass once more and heading to the kitchen for a refill. Glancing at the digital display on her microwave, she noted that it was now finally past 6pm. She would expect the guys soon, knowing that Mudrock wouldn’t keep them too late on this particular Friday. She topped up her glass and started to move back into the living room. Before she could sit down, both dogs leapt from the couch and straight to the door, their tails wagging as they waited for Indy to walk over. Not a second later, a knock reverberated through the wood.

Indy put her glass on the table before going to the door, ordering the dogs to sit as she unlocked it, swinging it open to reveal the boys and Val. Smiling widely, Indy moved aside, her hand still out for the dogs to remain seated and let the tribe in. Each of them greeted Indy with a hug as they moved their way through the entry way and into the adjoining living room. Luckily Jimmy was the last through the door as his attention went straight to the dogs sitting patiently. Indy let them go as Jimmy lent over, one hand on each of their heads as he greeted them enthusiastically.

“Got any space in the fridge for these?” Matt asked her, lifting up the 6 pack in his hands.

“And these,” Brian added, holding up his own. Taking the lead, Johnny and Zacky both lifted up a six pack. Indy hadn’t even noticed the group bring them in as they arrived, showing how much attention she was paying.

“I do have beer,” she said, rolling her eyes at the guys. She always got in trouble when she brought something to a gathering, and now they are doing exactly the same. “Come on, we can put those in the fridge, and I can give you the tour.”

Leading the group, she moved back towards the kitchen and to the fridge once more. They all followed and she packed as much of the beer in the fridge as she could fit, and then put the rest on the bench beside the fridge. The boys each grabbed one of the cans from a pack that didn’t fit in, and Indy silently grabbed another wine glass from the cupboard, pouring Val a glass.

“Thanks,” she said as Indy handed her the glass, thankful that she didn’t have to drink beer tonight.

“I hope you like it. It is delicious, and it’s 12.5%,” Indy replied, winking at Val as she told her the alcohol percentage.

“Oh, I love being wine-drunk,” she said, her eyes sparking as the pair laughed.

“It is the best drunk,” Indy agreed, nodding. “Ok, tour time.”

Indy moved through the kitchen, and into the living room, gesturing as she went. She collected Jimmy on the way, his attention still on the puppies (now on the ground, back to the floor as they received belly rubs). She moved them through the living room, down a short hallway, indicating her bedroom on the right, bathroom on the left, second bedroom further down, and finally the laundry. The hallway ended with a door leading outside, Indy walked outside, holding the spring-loaded door open as the rest of the crew filed out.

It was now March, the temperature slowly warming from the chill of winter. Indy had set up outside for the get together as many of those attending smoked. Around her patio table sat 7 chairs, and the guys took the cue and sat, making themselves quickly at home.

“Your house is beautiful,” Val told her, starting up conversation as she took in the backyard.

“And huge!” Jimmy added. “How do you afford this alone? Can you afford this alone? Do you even live alone?”

“Jimmy!” Val scolded, not entirely surprised at the drummer’s outburst, but still slightly embarrassed for him.

“What? It’s nicer than my place!” He said, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s ok Jim,” Indy told him, smiling fondly at him. She would miss these outbursts. “And don’t worry, I can afford it.”

“It’s a two bedroom house in LA!” He exclaimed, clearly not believing Indy. “With a backyard big enough for 2 dogs!”

“It is, my dear Jimmy-Jam. But it’s ok, Warner are paying me enough,” she said, “so thanks for the job.”

“Really?” He asked her, eyes wide in surprise.

“Really,” she promised, nodding to confirm.

Jimmy nodded back to Indy, his eyes wandering behind her and a huge smile breaking out on his face. Indy glanced at Val next to her, a similar smile on her face as she, too, looked behind Indy. Starting to get paranoid, Indy followed their eye line, craning her neck around to see Brian standing behind her with a guitar case in hand. Indy furrowed her eyebrows.

“Just a little gift to say thank you for working so hard on this album with us,” Brian said, thrusting the guitar case towards Indy. Her breath caught in her throat and she looked at her friend with wide eyes.

“And so you don’t forget us,” Jimmy added, all but shouting his input.

Indy slowly rose to her feet, taking a step to Brian and with a shaking hand, accepting the gift. She looked down at the case in her hand and back to Brian, a look of pure shock in her eyes. She cautiously put the guitar case down on the ground before taking the extra step and enveloping Brian in a giant hug.

“Thank you so much!” She said to him, trying to keep her eyes dry.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, rubbing her back before they parted. He smiled at her, seeing her struggle to keep her emotions in check.

Indy moved around the table, making each of the guys (and Val) stand up for a thank you hug before finding her way back to her seat and bringing the guitar case into her lap. She cautiously popped the hinges and opened the lid, seeing the immaculate Syn Gates custom pinstripe Schecter staring back at her. It was clearly brand new, not a single finger print on the glossy finish or speck of dust on the humbuckers.

“Oh my god,” she murmured, the words slipping out before she could stop them. She ran a hand up the neck, pulling it away with a jerk when she saw the inlays.

Like its brother, the neck had the pearloid Deathbat centred on fret 12, but instead of the usual ‘SYN+’ inlays on the 9th, 7th, 5th and 3rd frets, it had been customised to ‘INDY’.

“This is beautiful,” she whispered, finally looking back up at the group in front of her, each smiling widely at her reaction to their gift. She couldn’t put into words how touched she was at the gesture. She had often told Brian how jealous she was of his custom guitar, loving the feel as she was playing, and the tone it created. Now she had one of her very own. “I can’t believe you guys!”

“One more thing,” Zacky said, getting Indy’s attention. She hadn’t noticed that he had slipped away from the group until his voice sounded behind her shoulder. She once more craned her neck around to see behind her. Again, she was caught off guard.

Quickly locking her new guitar safely back in its case, she rose to her feet again, her eyes filling with tears as she took in the guitar case in his outstretched hand. She took the case, immediately placing it down before enveloping the man in a giant hug. She didn’t even bother trying to quell her emotions, undoubtedly making Zacky’s collar wet with her tears.

“I couldn’t let him be the favourite,” Zacky whispered, trying to make Indy laugh. He felt her chuckle as she pulled away. How she could be beautiful even while crying, was beyond him.

“You know he could never be my favourite,” she replied quietly, looking down as she wiped her eyes. Her stomach fluttered with the admission and she quickly realised what she had said. Looking back up cautiously at Zacky she saw a look of confusion flash through his eyes before a huge grin. She had to look away before she said anything else, deciding to move around the group for one more hug from each of them as a thank you.

“It was his idea,” Matt whispered to Indy while they embraced. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to see his two friends as happy as he was with Val.

“You’re just saying that,” she replied, trying not to believe Matt’s words.

“It’s the truth. Take it or leave it,” he told her, pulling away from the hug and letting her move on to Val. He hoped that he had helped push her in the right direction, not sent her running to the hills.

With Matt’s words swimming in her head, Indy finally sat back down, taking the second guitar case and putting it across her lap. She had a fair idea of what lay in the case, but she was just as excited to open it as she had been opening the first.

Cushioned in the black fabric sat a right handed version of Zacky’s signature Schecter she had seen many times at his place. She took in the details of the guitar, noting her guitar had the same ‘6661’ decal on the body. For the first time, she noticed that the volume and tone knobs had little Deathbats in the centre. Once more, the guitar had been personalised for Indy, the 12th fret had the year ‘2005’ instead of ‘6661’.

“We thought we would alter the date slightly for you,” Johnny said, noticing that her hand was hovering over the 12th fret.

“1999 was the year that changed your lives,” Indy started, understanding the reason behind Zacky’s love of 6661/1999, “but 2005 was the year that changed mine.”

Indy’s tears started up again as she looked up from her guitar and at the group in front of her. Her eyes lingered on Zacky, Matt’s words echo in her head once more. She was sure she was blushing, so she looked back down, shutting the guitar case and making sure each of the hinges were locked.

“I’m just going to pop these inside,” she told them all, taking the opportunity to also get her emotions in check. Standing up once again, she took a handle in each hand, smiling widely. “I can’t thank you guys enough. This is beyond anything I could ever imagine.”

“We are happy you like them,” Matt said, speaking for the group. He leant back in his chair, smiling at Indy as she started heading inside. His grin grew as Zacky, who was still standing, leapt at the chance to follow Indy, opening the door for her as he noticed her struggling with her full hands.

Indy smiled shyly at Zacky as he opened the door for her. She was blaming the wine she had earlier on the abundance of emotions she was currently feeling and how awfully she was hiding them. She needed to get herself under control. Tonight was meant to be for fun and laughter, not tears and breaking down every 5 minutes over the thought of not seeing any of the guys again.

She went inside, placing the guitars in her spare room where the rest of her gear lived. She didn’t bother getting them out of their cases, knowing that she would pour over them later when the guys had left, and most likely all day tomorrow as well. She couldn’t wait to try out the tones Zacky’s signature could create as she had yet to play one of his (being a left handed guitar, and all).

Indy let her hands flow over the cases as she made her way out of the room and back to her friends outside. It was amazing how comfortable she felt referring to them as her friends, not her colleagues, or her bosses. She opened the door outside, doing a quick scan for the dogs before she sat back down. Winston was once more at Jimmy’s feet, laying and waiting for the next time the drummer would give him attention. Julia was sitting between Matt and Val, each of them had one hand patting her as she sat with a huge open, grinning mouth. She loved having dog people around.

“...strings on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and the choir on Thursday,” Johnny spoke, repeating what Mudrock had said earlier that week.

“I just can’t wait for the mixing,” Brian replied, taking a long gulp of his beer.

“Will you be coming to watch the recording next week, Indy?” Matt asked her, wondering if she would actually come back to the studio when she truly wasn’t required.

“I would love to,” Indy said, watching the hope fill the guys eyes. She took a breath before continuing. “But I actually going to be in Pittsburgh for the week.”

“What the fuck are you doing in Pittsburgh?” Jimmy asked, his voice drowning out the same question asked by the others.

“I am visiting my best friend, Reba,” she explained, shrugging. “Booked a last minute flight yesterday when I realised I would have a week’s break.”

“You’re abandoning your new best friends?” Brian asked, a cheeky smile on his face to mask the disappointment he felt. He couldn't explain why Indy’s answer hurt so much.

“Brian,” Val warned, understanding that he wasn’t 100% joking.

“It’s ok, Val. I’m abandoning you for like, a month, that’s all,” she told him, shrugging. She sipped more of her wine, hoping the attention would get off her quickly.

“A month? You just said a week,” Johnny pointed out. Indy cursed her stupid big mouth and his keen ears.

“I’ll be in Pittsburgh for about a week with Reba, and then for 3 weeks I will be in Michigan. I thought I would visit Reba seeing as I would be closer to Pittsburgh than I usually am,” she explained. She hadn’t seen her friend in about a year, eager to catch up with her before heading to Michigan. It was only another hour or two flight from one to the other, so she thought she would make the best of it while she was over towards the East coast.

“Oh, what are you doing in Michigan?” Val asked her, keeping the conversation going. The more Val spoke with Indy, the more she realised that she had to ask for information, Indy not tending to give it up without prying.

“I will be recording some guitar and a tiny bit of piano for The Raconteurs,” she explained. She decided that she was about ready to join the others and light up a cigarette. She took one out of her pack and lit it before continuing. “They are releasing their first album through Warner.”

“A first album through Warner, and they are sending you?” Brian asked, amazed that the first release of a new band would warrant that much attention. “What style are they?”

“Uh, I don’t really know. I’m guessing rock with a kind of bluesy, pop edge?” She replied, her answer more of a question in itself. She took a drag of her cigarette, chased it with a sip of wine before continuing to the reason she took the job. “It’s actually a side project band for a couple guys, including Jack White.”

It was quiet for a second when she dropped the name of one of her greatest inspirations.

“You are working with Jack White?” Zacky asked her, amazed.

“Yup,” she replied, shrugging. She took the final drag of her cigarette before putting it out.

“How have you not bragged about this?” Matt asked her. He was as astounded as the rest of the band. Jack White was a huge name that anyone would be honoured to work with.

“It only happened yesterday,” she told them, finishing her wine, also. It was probably a good time to do a round, escape into the kitchen for a bit. “Everyone want another?”

A chorus of yeses answered her. She waved off any offers to help, explaining that she would need to feed the dogs while she was inside, so she would be a few minutes anyway. Upon hearing the word ‘dinner’, Winston and Julia were at Indy’s feet, anxiously awaiting their food. Nothing could come between these dogs and their food.

Indy made her way inside with both her glass and Val’s in hand, making her way to the kitchen to place them down before heading to the laundry to feed her babies. They followed her eagerly, knowing the drill. Indy scooped their dry food into the correct portions, making both dogs sit. She gave Winston his first to be in keeping with the order of the pack, the Alpha eating first. Technically, that meant Indy should be eating first, but she ignored this. As long as they knew she was Alpha and Winston was Beta, they coexisted well.

She waited for the dogs to eat, making sure Julia didn’t sneak over to Winston’s bowl and steal some of his food. It had been known to happen on many occasions. Once they had finished, she lead them to the kitchen, giving them both a frozen brisket bone to chew on. They had been so good with her friends, they definitely deserved it.

Finally, Indy was ready to get out the drinks that were requested 5 minutes ago. Opening the fridge, she saw all the food she had prepped for tonight. Deciding to get some of the nibbles out of the way, she unpacked a few bits and pieces, making a pile on the kitchen counter. This would need at least two trips.

She bundled up as much as she could in her arms and went back out the back, unloading bags of chips, a few boxes of crackers and a selection of dips onto the table.

“I’ll be back. Help yourselves,” she told them, smiling widely at the group. Not needing further instruction, Jimmy and Johnny reached over, grabbing the chips and tearing them open. Val took the lead and started opening the dips for Indy.

Before heading back inside, Indy looked around the yard, noting Winston in the far left with his treat, Julia underneath the table finishing hers. Indy smiled, knowing that her babies were behaving normally, even though they had company. She headed back inside to the kitchen, grabbing two platters that were on the table before heading back outside. She put them on the table as well, watching their faces as she did so. She was used to the guys catering most of their get-togethers, and everyone knows that ‘bachelor’ food is far from fancy, the group usually ordering their food in. The appearance of a range of cheeses, meats and prepared veggies shocked them. It made Indy smile to see that they were excited about what she had provided.

She headed inside once more to get the drinks. Loading up her arms with beer, and her hand with the wine, Indy headed outside once more. She was actually glad that no one had come to help her, enjoying the solo time before heading once more into the depths of conversation. She was hoping that it would no longer be about her and her plans, not enjoying being in the spotlight of conversation.

She walked around the table, dropping a beer in front of each of the guys, and the glass of wine to Val. It was only then she noticed she had left her own drink in the kitchen, and sighed before heading back inside once more. She was actually enjoying playing hostess for the evening, feeling a lot more calm as the get together was in her own house. She didn’t have to worry about her dogs being a nuisance, or that she didn’t have the space to hold everyone. She was actually able to enjoy herself without having to worry or be anxious. It was a nice change.

“Need a hand?” A voice behind her asked. Indy spun around and saw Val standing in the doorway of the kitchen, wine in hand.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m ok. I just forgot to get myself a drink,” Indy replied, smiling gratefully at Val. She opened the fridge, grabbing out the wine once more and pouring the last of the bottle in her glass. She hadn’t realised she had drank so much of it before the group arrived.

“I hope you have more in there,” Val joked as Indy threw the bottle in the recycling bin.

“You bet I do!” Indy said, grinning. “Cheers!”

Both women raised their glass to each other before taking a sip.

“When are you leaving for Pittsburgh?” Val asked her, striking up conversation.

“Monday, about lunch. Just need to drop the dogs in at dads before I head to the airport. He is keen to puppy-sit his grandbabies,” Indy replied, smiling widely.

Val nodded, taking a sip of her wine to get the courage to start the conversation she wanted to have with Indy.

“Can I ask you something?” Val proposed, watching Indy carefully for her reaction.

“Yeah, shoot,” Indy agreed, nodding. She leant against the countertop while she waited for Val’s question.

“Do you want to record with Jack White?” Val asked after a pause.

“Of course,” Indy replied without a doubt. Val was silent again, her brows furrowing. “What?”

“You just don’t seem as excited as you should,” she said, holding nothing back.

“It’s just more complicated,” Indy told her, shrugging. She heard the back door open and close again, and then she heard the pitter-patter of puppy paws on the hardwood floor. She was soon greeted by Julia who passed Val and went to Indy. Sated with a few scratches behind the ear, Julia was satisfied and walked back outside, making the dog door flap with her exit.

“What’s complicated about recording with Jack White?” Val asked, not seeing how she could be feeling anything but joy.

“It’s a long, long story,” Indy said, trying to use the same excuse she used the last time Val had tried asking about Indy’s past.

“I know you aren’t big on the whole ‘sharing’ thing, but if you want to chat, I am here,” Val offered, seeing Indy’s hesitation. Once more, the back door opened, and shut.

“Thanks, Val,” Indy said, trying to make up her mind whether it would be good to share her apprehension or not. She took a sip of wine before deciding.

“It also helps to get an outside perspective,” Val pointed out. It wasn’t that she was aiming to get all of Indy’s secrets, more that she wanted to help her friend work through something that she was clearly struggling with

“You’re right,” Indy said, nodding. She knew that Val was right, and she had become close to her over the last few weeks since their first meeting.

Indy took another sip of wine, trying to get some courage before she started her story. Hopping up on the counter, she finally found the place to start.

“So, the reason I am so anxious about recording with The Raconteurs is not because of Jack White. I am so excited to meet him, chat guitars and music with him, and get the honour of recording with him,” she said, letting some of her genuine excitement through as she spoke. The name drop pf Jack White was the reason she took the job after much deliberation.

“Finally, some excitement!” Val said happily, smiling with Indy. She was happy for her friend and the opportunity she was given. “So what’s holding you back?”

“The Raconteurs are a supergroup, there are about 5 guys getting together from a few bands to create the album, and one member just happens to be my last boyfriend, Brendan Benson,” Indy admitted, looking down at her wine as she swirled it around the glass. Val inhaled sharply after Indy finished.

“The guy that made you stop dating musicians?” Val asked, recalling their first deep conversation where Indy admitted something had happened in her past that made her vehemently against dating a musician again.

“Yup, the very same,” Indy confirmed, taking a sip before continuing. “He is actually the one that requested me for the job. He asked specifically for me after hearing that I was working with you guys under Warner.”

“What?” Val asked, astounded at what she was hearing. “I’m guessing it wasn’t a messy break up for him, then?”

“It wasn’t really a break up at all,” Indy admitted. “We just stopped seeing each other.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Hold on, I’ll explain from the beginning,” Indy told her, realising that she was going to have to explain the full story before Val would understand exactly why Indy was so anxious about the next month. “Brendan and I met when I was in New York. I had just started my career as a session musician while living with my mother after high school. I thought New York would be a good place to get a start seeing as I was trying to make it on my own, not under dad’s name. He was out here in LA, so there was less chance of anyone knowing that we were related. I was adamant that I would make it on my own merit. So I started making my way around the studios in New York, giving them my details and samples of my work. It was not too bad, had odd jobs here and there, but it made me realise that I actually wanted to play music for a living.

“While I was waiting on jobs to start picking up, I started busking, loving any outlet to play. I mostly did covers, realising quickly that it made the most money. People loved hearing what they know. One day I managed to get a gig in a little coffee shop, and played for 2 hours. At the end of my time, I looked in my takings and saw a card. On the back had ‘you are perfect’ in beautiful writing, making me flush straight away. Not a second later, a man comes over and introduces himself to me, his hand out and telling me his name was Brendan. I made the connection straight away; it was his card in my hand. He bought me a coffee and started chatting as I packed away my gear. He complimented my original work, saying that I was as beautiful as my songs, and I should do an entire set of those instead of the covers. He took me to dinner after I packed up, and we talked until 3am. As a young, naïve nineteen year old, I was smitten.

“He was only in New York for a few months, going around and taking meetings at labels. Turns out he was a musician as well. Actually, a singer/songwriter/guitarist. With one album under his belt, a demo for his next, I thought he was a God. For the next 3 months, we were inseparable and I was all but living in his hotel room. I was nineteen, and I was sure this was love, it didn’t matter that he was 12 years older, he treated me like I was the one.

“He left New York to go back home to Detroit. I was devastated. My first love was gone. Two weeks later he was on my door step, begging me to come with him, that the time apart had killed him. So I went. We were perfect for about a year, he recorded his album and released it, it becoming a lot more popular than his first. He started touring, and that was where things started going bad. I was starting to get sick of putting my passion on hold while playing house, especially when he wasn’t even at home.

“I started busking again, just around a few hot spots in Detroit. He was happy for me, knowing that music made me happy. Then, like I dreamed, I started booking session work. Just a few here and there, but I threw myself into it, wanting to make my name memorable by skill and work ethic. 12 hour days in the studio made it hard to keep in touch with Brendan. I was in the studio by 7am, and he would be sleeping. When I got time to call him after work, he would be on stage. He would try calling after his sets, but he would either be drunk, high, or I would be asleep, exhausted from the studio.

“When he was back home, things picked up for me. It was his turn to play house as I was working constantly, and he was not impressed. He didn’t like that I was spending more time in the studio than I was at home and he was getting jealous of any of the guys I was working with. Once again, I put the brakes on my career to help him. I only took short jobs, 2 days at max, and then helped him with his next demo. We would play together and record silly songs in the studio we were starting to put together in the spare room.

“We decided to celebrate New Year’s in LA as I had convinced Brendan to meet my dad. I knew they would get along, and even if they didn’t, they could talk about music when the conversation lulled. As expected, they got along great, dad even helped make a mix of the demo album for Brendan so he could help sell it to studios in LA while we were there. Brendan decided to re-release his first album with the demo songs tacked on. While he was taking meetings, I went to the studio with Dad, helping him by laying down a few bits and pieces. I was offered to work on Placebo’s new album, and happily accepted.

“Brendan left LA and went back home to Detroit, and I stayed with dad, promising Brendan that I would be back as soon as recording had finished. After Placebo, I was offered another job, and another, and another, and I found that I couldn’t say no to any opportunities as they just got better and better. Like the year before, we tried to stay in touch, but calls were missed, visits postponed, and we both realised what was happening.

“The last time I spoke to him was in 2003, and I had no idea it would be the last time we spoke. We tried to catch up on our lives, but the conversation was awkward and full of dead air. Our connection had gone.

“The thing that makes me anxious about seeing him is not the fact that we have a past, but it is the fact that we never had that relationship ending moment. It just… fell apart. I didn’t get the closure you feel when you end a relationship, whether it be angry, or sad. It just shrivelled away until there was nothing left to save.”

Val was speechless, trying to take in all she was told. Never had she thought that the story would end where it did. When they had spoken about Indy’s past, she had made the assumption that her last relationship had ended with pain and anger, that’s why she was holding on so firmly about not dating a musician. Val never thought it would be the lack of pain that made her so bitter.

“Are you still in love with him?” Val asked, unsure whether Indy meant the lack of closure meant that her feelings never went away.

“I don’t think so,” Indy replied. She had asked herself the same question after her phone call yesterday. Having talked it out with her dad had helped her come to grips with her reality. “I think a part of me will always be his, whether I want it to, or not. There will always be the ‘what if’ thoughts. Does that make sense?”

“That makes perfect sense,” Val told her, nodding vigorously. She had felt something similar before she and Matt truly got together. She had tried to date other guys, but nothing was ever quite right when she knew in her heart that Matt was her one.

“It just taught me that I could never be with a musician. It is too hard. Having two completely opposite schedules makes it impossible to have a relationship. There isn’t enough time to live your dream, for him to live his, and to live one together. Things fall through the cracks.”

The back door opened and closed once again, a pause in between before footsteps were heard in the hall coming towards the kitchen.

“Beer, beer, beer,” Johnny chanted, entering the kitchen. “Oh hey, here you guys are!”

“Hey Johnny,” Indy greeted, waving at him as he made his way to the fridge.

“You guys coming out soon? Or are you too busy gossiping?” he asked while collecting as many beers as he could carry.

“We’ll be out in a bit,” Indy replied, looking to Val for confirmation. Val had so many questions swimming in her eyes that Indy was questioning if her answer to Johnny was accurate.

“Sweet! We need to celebrate, not talk about our feelings,” he replied, taking his armful of beer and leaving the kitchen. Indy couldn’t help but chuckle at the bassist. He was always so adorably ignorant to the vibe of the room.

Indy finished the wine in her glass, needing to be doing something while Val remained silent. She took Val’s glass from her hand and placed it next to her own before heading into the fridge and opening a new bottle of wine. She topped the glasses up, giving back Val hers while nervously swirling her own in her hand.

“Do you know why he asked for you, specifically?” Val asked Indy, having her own theories why she was personally requested.

“I have no idea, and that’s what scares me,” Indy replied, laying her fears on the line. “I don’t know what he could possibly want from me after 2 years.”

“Maybe he wants to apologise for the past,” Val suggested, putting forward one of her many theories.

“I doubt it,” Indy said, furrowing her eyebrows as she thought on Val’s words. “He isn’t the type to apologise when he doesn’t see that he was in the wrong. Or at least part in the wrong.”

“Then maybe he wants to get back together.”

Indy was silent, not sure how to reply. She hadn’t thought of that option, though God knows she had wanted it in the past. She wanted to return to what was, the love their shared when they were strongest. He was her number one fan, and she his, but the distance had killed them. She was not the girl he once knew, she had become a woman, and learnt to put herself first.

“Would you get back together?” Val asked her, noting Indy’s silence.

“I honestly don’t know, Val,” Indy replied. “I want to be able to say no, and mean it. I want to be able to say that the last two years I have been single were the best of my life, that I don’t need someone else to make me happy. But there is a tiny voice in the back of my mind that reminds me how nice it was not to be alone, how perfect it was to have someone with the same passions, how wonderful it was to have someone to come home to and talk to.”

“Maybe you don’t need him, but you do need someone that understands what you do,” Val said, pointing out what to her was obvious. The things Indy was saying were not specific to Brendan, but specific to musicians, specific to guitarists.

“Maybe,” Indy agreed, shrugging. Pulling herself out of her own tumultuous thoughts, she broke the mood by smiling at Val. “Come on, let’s go back outside and join the guys. God knows I could use another cigarette.”

“I was meant to ask, what is with the sudden smoking, missy?” Val asked her friend, having noticed the redhead smoking earlier. She had not known Indy to smoke at any of their past gatherings.

“It only started again recently. Just to help with the stress,” Indy replied, trying to wave it off as not a big issue. “Can you blame a girl?”

“That I cannot,” Val said, agreeing with her friend. She realised that Indy needed an outlet while trying to come to terms with the next few weeks of her career and personal life.

On their way out the back, Indy made a small pit stop in the laundry, flipping a switch to turn on the fairy lights that decorated her yard. They would soon be their only light source, and the soft lights made the yard feel a lot more cosy and look inviting once the sun set.

They finally joined the guys outside, Indy sitting back down at the table next to Johnny and Brian, immediately joining in their conversation while Val made her way over to Zacky and Matt who were chatting together away from the rest of the group.

“She is leaving on Monday morning. You need to make a move,” Val told Zacky, interrupting their conversation.

“W-what?” Zacky stuttered, trying to play dumb.

“Don’t be an idiot, I know you are falling for her. Make a move before she leaves,” Val said sternly, trying to give her friend the advantage.

“You told her?” Zacky accused Matt, turning to his friend to get an answer. Matt shook his head no.

“He doesn’t have to tell me, Zacky. I am not dumb. I noticed the first time I met her. You two have a chemistry that is almost palpable. And it is not one sided, Zee.”

“But she still has a thing for Brendan,” Zacky sighed in defeat. Val gave him a confused look. “I overheard the whole conversation. I came in to use the bathroom and heard Indy telling you about him, and that she would always have feelings for him.”

The realisation hit Val – he was the one that had opened the screen door while the girls were in the kitchen. He must have left as Johnny came in the house.

“One, you are an idiot. Two, don’t eavesdrop. Three, you didn’t hear the rest of the conversation,” Val whispered, trying to keep her voice down so she didn’t alert the others that she was mad. “She is a woman, she will always have a place in her heart for her first love, but that doesn’t mean she will always want him. Make a move, Zacky, before she leaves. Otherwise you are just delivering her heart back to him, and I will be damned if I let her fall for anyone but you.”

With that, Val walked away and re-joined the group at the table.

Zacky looked to Matt to get his take on what Val had just instructed him to do. Matt just shrugged before following in his girlfriend’s footsteps and making his way back to the table, leaving Zacky to try and comprehend what he was just told. She was leaving on Monday, and Val had all-but guaranteed that she felt the same things he was.

Could Val be right?