A Helping Hand

The harsh light streaming in from the open bedroom door woke Indy the following morning. Her eyes slowly opened and she became aware of the world around her. She was currently using Zacky’s back as a pillow, her arm thrown around him as she cuddled into his body. She mentally debated whether to get up or to snuggle back down and fall back asleep, but decided that she should get up if for no other reason than to look after her dogs. She felt bad making them sleep outside last night, and wanted to give them some love and attention so they would forgive her.

She slowly rose to a sitting position, swinging her body so she was able to hop off the bed without waking Zacky. She looked down at his still sleeping form, unable to help herself from leaning down and giving his ‘Vengeance’ tattoo a few kisses. His black hair was sticking up in all sorts of directions, likely due to the combination of his heavy sleeping and their midnight romp. Indy smiled at the memory, replaying their round of sleepy sex in her head before she tore herself away and crept out of the room.

On her way out, she picked up her panties and an oversized tee shirt that was in her clean laundry pile, throwing them on before she quietly shut the door behind her. Before she shut the door, she paused for a moment, looking at the sleeping man in her bed. How did she get so lucky? She would have never guessed that she would find herself falling for a guitarist she had worked with. She was so lucky that Zacky had pushed her to give him a chance, and that she finally found the balls to stop ignoring her heart when it told her that he was different.

With a smile, she moved from her now closed bedroom door and towards the back door. Before opening it, she glanced out the window of the laundry, seeing Winston and Julia in the backyard, napping in the sun. Her heart was so full this morning she thought it was going to explode.

She finally went outside, her dogs running over to her with excited wagging tails, pushing each other to get out of the way so they would get Indy’s attention first. She sat on the step, giving both puppies a lot of head pats, butt scratches and cuddles. They soon started to play with one another, their excitement turning into energy very quickly, and Indy took the opportunity to get up and grab some dry food for them. She filled up their bowls while they continued to run around the yard, first Winston chasing Julia, then Julia turning the tables. Indy called them over, let them have a drink before putting both bowls down. They sat patiently as Indy set their breakfast down, waiting until she gave them the command to eat. They dug in, barely breathing as they inhaled their food.

Indy wandered back inside, heading for the kitchen to start some coffee. Looking at the clock and seeing that it was only 8:30am, she knew that the coffee would definitely be needed for her day ahead. She had no plans just yet, but with her body having woken her up so early coupled with the ‘exercise’ she got last night, she had a feeling it would be a long day.

As she entered the kitchen, she saw the remnants of last night's meal over the counters of her kitchen. The sight of the dirty pots and pans made her smile, her memories floating back to last night and the perfect date she had with Zacky. Had she expected it to escalate the way it did? No, but that didn’t mean she regretted it. He made her feel so special, so important, so… sexy. Just the memory of the way his eyes filled with lust as he gazed at her was making her excited again.

Indy took a deep breath and centred herself again. She set up the coffee maker and waited for it to do its job. While she waited, she started to clear the dirty kitchen, stacking plates in the dishwasher and putting water in the pans to soak. It was as good as it was going to get for now as the coffee machine had finished, and Indy was already making herself a cup. After she poured the liquid gold into her favourite mug (it was a huge spotted purple mug that held nearly two cups of coffee, eliminating the need to go back to the machine), she made her way back through the corridor and outside. Her dogs were now running about, playing with a tug toy now they had finished their breakfast. Indy sat at her outdoor setting, sparking up a cigarette and enjoying the warmth of the sun on her exposed skin.

It was slowly coming in to summer, which meant longer days, warm nights and escapes to the beach. Indy couldn’t help but wonder if any of those days would be spent with Zacky. Did he see this relationship going that way, or was he put off at how fast they had moved last night? It was their first date, after all. She wondered if he slept with her to get it out of his system, the sexual tension they had once almost suffocated in was now sated and he was free to move on to find someone more attractive. After all, he was the rhythm guitarist of a popular band, he would have women throwing themselves at him left, right and centre.

She had been too naive, she thought. She had let herself get swept away with his sweet words and perfect touches, and had forgotten why she had a guard to begin with. Musicians always lie. This was just another reason she had her set of self imposed dating rules. It’s not that she was overly jealous of women fawning over him, though she did like people to know who and what was hers, but it was the constant ‘what if’ thoughts that plagued her. What if they tried having a relationship, and down the track he got sick of her? What if the fame went to his head and he cheated on her? Or what if she cheated on him? Or what if they couldn’t handle the long distance when he was on tour? Or what if she got a gig in another state? Or another country? What if the only reason they were working now was because they got to spend every day with each other? What if…

“Do you always get up so early?” Zacky asked Indy, jolting her from her spiralling thoughts. He put his arm on her shoulder, alerting her of his presence and saw the look of surprise on her face masking the worry that had previously resided there. He lent down, his finger tilting her chin up and caught her lips in a soft kiss. She tasted of coffee and cigarettes, the perfect combination.

“You’re already awake?” She asked, trying to bring her thoughts back from the dark side of her brain. It helped when she saw Winston and Julia run up to Zacky, attacking him with licks and nudges, trying to get his attention.

“It is a big bed when you’re in it all alone,” he replied, giving in to the dogs and giving them some love. He gave them both a scratch behind the ear before his attention was back on Indy. A small smirk graced his lips as he took her in, sitting on the patio chair with her legs crossed, clad only in a tee shirt and panties, sipping a cup of coffee while a cigarette burned between her pointer and middle finger. This was a perfect sight for 9am on a Sunday. Or any time of any day, for all he cared.

Zacky sat in the chair next to her, taking a cigarette from the packet on the table and lighting it. The first inhale of smoke made him relax further, his own thoughts polar opposite to those swirling in Indy’s head. She had tried to push them aside now Zacky had joined the land of the conscious, but they were still eating at her, nagging at her that she had made a mistake.

She looked at Zacky as subtly as she could, taking in his dishevelled appearance. He had put on his boxers, the red fabric making Indy recall her dirty thoughts from the night previous, and his hair still stuck up at odd angles. He took a long drag of the cigarette between his fingers, casually blowing the smoke in rings to entertain himself. As he did, he caught Indy’s gaze, her cheeks flushing from being caught out. He sent her a radiant smile, his green eyes shining and making her heart melt. This simple gesture threw all of her previous thoughts out the window, replacing them with absolutely nothing. That smile made her mind go blank, and all she could do was stare right back at him with a smile just as wide.

“So, I think last night was a success,” Zacky murmured, leaning over and putting his free hand around Indy’s. Indy just nodded, the blush deepening as they kept eye contact.

“It was a hell of a first date, that’s for sure,” she agreed, feeling Zacky’s thumb stroke the top of her hand. He chuckled at her response and they simultaneously took a drag of their cigarettes.

“I thought we said it wasn’t our first date,” he said, tilting his head to the side in questioning. He looked too adorable for his own good.

“Does it really matter?” she asked, the words falling from her lips without permission. The dark thoughts were starting to return once again, and were now making their way out from Indy’s fucked up brain into the open.

“I think it matters. We need a first date so we can have an anniversary of some sort,” he replied, shrugging as if what he had said meant nothing more than a common ‘good morning’ or ‘nice jacket’.

“An anniversary?” She asked, her mind spinning once again, but this time starting to look more positive.

“Yeah, an anniversary. And lucky for me and my shitty memory, our first date and the first time we slept together was on the same day,” he said, trying not to make a big deal out of it. He could see the questions swimming behind Indy’s eyes, and wasn’t sure whether to wait for them to come out, or to beat her to the punch. He decided on the former and took another drag of his cigarette before grinding the butt into the ashtray.

“You want to remember this?” She asked him, her words soft and barely audible. Her anxiety was shooting through the roof as she asked her question, both wanting to know the answer and not wanting to know.

Zacky wasn’t sure where this sudden insecurity was coming from. Last night, especially when they were starting to get hot and heavy, Indy had been fiercely confident, knowing exactly what she wanted. Now it seemed like she was having second thoughts about it all. His heart sank. He rose from his seat, standing in front of Indy and bending down so he was eye level with her, making sure she couldn’t hide a single emotion from him.

“Of course I want to remember all of this,” he confirmed, taking both of her hands in his while he spoke. Her coffee lay ignored on the table, her cigarette butt hitting the ashtray before his own leaving her nothing to hide behind. He gestured between them before he spoke next. “This is something that I want to remember for the rest of my life. For the rest of our lives. I don’t know about you, but I think we have something pretty fucking special. We just click.

“I tried to fight it, Indy. I tried for so damned long, trying to convince myself I just had a crush on you, that you would definitely not see me the same way, and that there was no way we could possibly work. But I was wrong, I was 100% wrong. Every moment I have spent with you, whether it was in the studio watching you play with a passion most musicians could only dream of, or if we were just hanging out with the others, or last night when you were losing yourself in the most beautiful way, every moment I saw the true you, I started to fall deeper and deeper in love with you.

“You are so goddamn beautiful and you don’t even realise it. I think my mouth literally dropped to the floor when I saw you last night, dressed to the nines with your hair and makeup perfect, it dropped when I saw you naked for the first time, and it did again this morning as you sat here in nothing but an old tee shirt and a messy bun. You are funny, smart and talented beyond belief. There is not a single thing about you that I want to ever forget.”

Indy was biting her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to hold herself together as Zacky spoke. Before she could try and stop them, tears started welling up in her eyes and slowly streamed down her face. She pulled Zacky up to stand and buried her face in his chest, holding on to him as if her life depended on it. The tears continued to flow as they embraced, Zacky’s arms tightening around her small frame to try and hold her together. Indy took a few deep breaths, managing to finally calm herself down from his beautiful speech.

Zacky loosened his grip on Indy as he felt her pull back, but she didn’t pull away. He took this as a good sign, and lifted his hands to wipe away the stray tears that fell. Her gorgeous blue eyes shone up at him, vulnerable and full of fear. He was taken aback, he had hoped his words would sooth her, not make her feel worse! Before he could think too much about what this meant for them as a couple, she lent up and softly kissed him. It was a chaste kiss, their lips meeting for a fraction of a second before she retreated back to her usual height.

“You make me feel so happy,” she told him, struggling to find the words that would properly encompass what she felt for him. It was not going to be as eloquent as what Zacky had just told her, but they were the words she needed him to hear. “But I am scared. It has been a while since I let myself feel this way, since I let someone else in. I am scared that one day you will find someone better, or prettier, or someone else less fucked up than I am. I am scared that you will spend too much time with me and get sick of my stupid dark thoughts, or my OCD tendencies, or my neediness.”

“I can't promise that there won't be moments of weakness, or that we will never fight about those things, but I can promise you that we will work through them,” Zacky told her, trying to put her mind to rest. He grazed the apple of her cheek with the tip of his thumb as he spoke. She leaned in to his hand, enjoying the tender touch. “You you just need to promise me that you are going to try. That you will come to be when you are having these dark thoughts, or you are having doubts. I will do anything to be with you, Indy.”

“I will try. I promise,” she told him, her voice barely a whisper.

It didn’t matter how loudly she said the words, Zacky still heard them, and that's all he needed. A giant smile broke out on his face and the infectious grin made Indy’s expression turn from worry to happiness.

“Thank God!” He exclaimed. In his excitement, he picked Indy up and spun her in a circle, making her giggle at his actions. “Does this mean I can kiss you whenever I want?”

“Ah, yes,” she nodded, stifling another giggle at his words as he put her back on her feet. He placed a quick kiss on her lips to cement her answer. She had no idea how he managed to make her mood spin as fast as he had just spun her body, but she was starting to get used to how good he made her feel. This had to be a good sign, right?

“Does this mean I get to cuddle you whenever I want?” He asked, his smile never fading as he continued to ask his silly questions.

“Yup,” she agreed once more, getting swept up in his arms for a hug. He pulled back, looking back down at her, his expression turning from excitement to questioning. He looked more serious than he had when he was celebrating with his other cute questions.

“Does this mean I get to tell you that I am in love with you whenever I want?” He asked, scanning her features to see how his words affected her. Her eyes widened at his words, and she tightened her grip around his waist.

“Definitely yes,” she agreed, cracking a smile of her own and seeing how happy her response made him. “Does it mean I get to tell you that I am in love with you, too?”

“Every fucking day,” he replied before leaning down and kissing Indy with everything he had in him.

He pulled Indy as tightly into his body as he could, wanting to feel every part of her as they kissed. Their mouths moved against one another as Indy’s hands reached up and linked behind Zacky’s head, her hands burying in his hair and running through the strands. Her doubts from earlier seemed to abate as they shared their passion, Zacky’s promises of working through any issues making her relax.

The worries were still there, and they would remain in the back of her mind until they had to face the issues head on, but knowing that he wanted to stick by and work everything out made it easier to run towards the challenges, not away from them. The excitement, joy and love she was feeling now was worth every single doubt she had ever had, and she knew that as their relationship grew stronger, so would her happiness.

“Wait,” she said, stopping their kiss for a brief moment as her thoughts made her realise something important. As seemed typical for them, they had done everything in reverse. Who says ‘I love you’ before they started to date? “Does this mean I get to call you my boyfriend?”

The way she had copied his wording made him laugh, his immediate worry when Indy had told him to wait dissipating as her smile reached her eyes, the blue orbs showing nothing but pure happiness.

“Only until the day you can call me your husband.”