Hospital Beds and Memories

After visiting my mom, I had asked Jack to bring me home. I explained that Cam and I had a fight before I had my seizure, leaving out the part that he had been mentioned a couple of times. Jack understood and agreed to drive me and walk me to the front door of the loft. I didn’t want Cam to think I stayed with Jack because I was still mad, because I really wasn’t. The only reason I stayed with Jack was because he made me feel safe and I wanted to figure out what we were. Sure, Cam also made me feel safe, but he seemed so all over the place. I didn’t want to make the mess in his mind even worse.

Jack had been busy the last couple of days with band stuff for the upcoming tour, meaning that we never had time to see each other. The one time he had some free time, I had to give a dance class. Yes, I was still dancing despite my seizures. Unfortunately, I had to cut back and cancel some of the classes, but I made sure to have at least one lesson for each group I taught.

So, here I was, in my bed at midnight, all alone, dreading Tuesday. Jack was leaving in two days and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore. We were both too busy and his plane was leaving at 6 am. There was no way I would be able to say bye to him anymore. It really sucked. I was more bored than upset, being used to not seeing my dad for ages and then also not being able to say bye once he left again. It was just fun to be around Jack, and I was stuck doing nothing while he was practicing.

That thought and the need to go to the bathroom had woken me up. After contemplating whether or not to get out of my bed and go to the toilet for an hour, I finally decided it was better to go than have the annoying urge for the rest of the night. I mean, who doesn’t think about just staying in bed even though they know their bladder might explode? This is such a weird topic, but you know what I mean, right? The bed was so comfortable and warm. Why do bodily functions exist?

So, out of my bed I got, groaning while my bones cracked and clicked, and I strolled to the bathroom. The bright light burned my eyes and made me regret my decision. Ugh, being tired and blinded does not work well together. I walked into the counter, making it stab into my upper right thigh. That was definitely going to bruise. I thought I finished my business when I was greeted by blood on the toilet paper. Of course, I started my period. I totally lost track of time and forgot I was due. Why did mother nature have to be so cruel?

I opened the drawer I kept all my stuff in and found the box of tampons… which was empty. Great. Why didn’t I throw it out and buy a new pack? I could be so stupid sometimes. I rummaged through all the drawers I had in hope to find something so I could make it through the night. My whole bathroom was a mess from taking out everything and putting it back in. I finally found a panty liner in the back of one of my drawer, but it definitely wasn’t going to last through the night. I put it on and thought; I had to get to a gas station or something.

I knew it wasn’t going to work, but it was worth a try. Cam always hated when I woke in up during the night, but I still knocked on his bedroom door and carefully walked in.

“Hey, Cam, you awake?” I whisper-shouted.

He stirred and groaned, “go back to sleep, Field.”

“But, I need your help’”

“Go back to bed.”

“Cam, it’s an emergency.”

He threw one of his pillows at me. “Go find someone else to help.”

I sighed and slowly closed his door. Part of me was hoping that he would call me back inside and ask me what I wanted, but of course, he didn’t. What was I going to do now? I couldn’t drive myself, Cam wasn’t going to help, and there was nobody else here to ask… Or was there?

I took my phone from the charger and dialed Jack’s number. Dial tones played through my head and I was about to give up, when there was a crack and a groggy voice sounded through the speaker. “Isle?”

“Jack, I need your help.” I pouted, even though he couldn’t see.

“Is everything ok? Did you have another seizure?”

“No, it’s all fine. I just need to get to a store and Cam won’t drive me.”

“A store, what? At… 4 am? Isle?”

“Yes.” I crossed my fingers, hoping he would come.

“Why?” He sounded so confused in his sleepy state.

“For reasons.”

“Can’t it wait till tomorrow morning?”

“No, otherwise I wouldn’t have called you and just waited for Cam to wake up. Just trust me, it’s an emergency.”

“But, baby… it’s 4 am!”

“Jack, please,” I dragged out the word, “I know for a fact that you’ve stayed up way after 4 am before. Please, please, please!”

“Ugh, fine, but I’m not changing out of my pajamas for this.” I heard some shuffling, telling me that Jack was getting up.

“You’re actually wearing pajamas?”

“Yes, I don’t know why, though. I’ll be there in 10.”

“Thank you so so so so much. I really owe you.”

I pulled on my shoes, grabbed my wallet and keys, and waited for Jack to arrive. Knowing he was going to be in his pajamas, I didn’t bother getting changed and making myself look remotely decent. I was tapping my foot as the seconds passed by; I didn’t necessarily want Jack to know I was on my period. Why would I tell him? It was of no significance to him, and it was only embarrassing to me.

The doorbell rang and I opened the door to find a very tired looking Jack on the other side. I walked past him, grabbed his hand, and pulled him along with me; I just wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, and I wasn’t going to risk having any leaking.

“Oh, we’re going already? This seems important.” Jack tried to stay in pace with me.

“It is, thanks for coming by the way.” I waited for Jack to unlock his car. We both got in and Jack turned on the engine.

“Where are we going?”

“Umm, any store that’s open. It could be a gas station, or anything really.”

“I know gas stations are open, so it will be that then. What do you need to get, anyway?”

“Some stuff.” I shrugged.

Jack raised his eyebrows, but pulled onto the road anyway. We didn’t talk much during the short drive to the nearest gas station. When we arrived I turned to Jack before getting out. “You can stay in the car.”

He shook his head and unbuckled his seatbelt. “I’ll come with you.”

“No, really it’s fine.”

“But I want to, why are you acting all suspicious.”

I got out of the car and beelined straight for the aisle with products, with Jack just a step behind me. I could feel my cheeks starting to heat up, and I hoped Jack didn’t notice. It was something totally natural, but I still didn’t feel comfortable with other people knowing I was on my period. But I guessed nearly every girl had that.

“Oh, I get it now.” Jack nodded in understanding.

“Exactly,” I snorted and started looking through the assortment. “Why are these shits so expensive?”

“I don’t know, I don’t even know how all this shit works.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you were a guy, sorry.”

“I’ll be right back, ok?” Jack kissed my forehead and left me all alone. As happy as I was to be able to choose in peace, I was still confused as to why Jack left. Was he disgusted? Blood itself was already pretty disgusting, blood coming out of a vagina was a whole lot worse.

I chose the largest box I could find of the kind of tampons I always had and made my way to the counter. The girl standing behind the counter scanned the item and I got out my wallet to pay. Just before I was able to hand over the money, Jack joined me with a ton of candy, chocolate, and other junk food.

I looked at him with wide eyes. “Jack, I don’t have the money to pay for all of this!”

“I do.” Knowing I wouldn't allow him to pay for everything, he chipped in for everything that he had chosen. “I’ll be the one eating most of this anyway.”

When we got home Jack allowed me to go the bathroom first before he insisted on staying the night. I was too tired to argue and got in bed, leaving some space for him. He climbed in and took the gigantic plastic bag full of junk food with him. To make sure he woke up on time, Jack turned on an alarm of his phone. We talked about random things and ate some of the very unhealthy food, before falling asleep in each other’s embrace. I didn’t know I had felt this way, but the bed was no longer empty, and I finally felt complete and at home.

The next morning I woke up to Cameron coming into my room. The room was filled with bright light and some kind of music. Jack was still cuddled around me and sleeping deeply.

“Hey, Ireland, what did you need last--” Cameron stopped in his tracks. “Oh, Jack’s here. Nevermind.”

Cameron left again, leaving me very confused. What was he doing up? That’s when I suddenly realized what the weird music was. I checked my large clock and saw that it was already one pm. Jack had to leave two hours ago; his alarm didn’t wake him up.

I quickly sat up and started shaking him. “Jack, get up, you’re late.”

He groaned before he snapped his eyes open, “What!”

“You’re two hours late. Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have kept you up.”

“No, no, no, it’s not your fault. They probably won’t mind me showing up rocking my bed hair and pajamas.” Jack got up and turned off his alarm. “Shit. Alex is so mad at me right now.”

Right after that Jack’s phone started ringing, the name ‘Alex’ popped up. Jack quickly answered and scavenged for any belongings he had to take with him. I made eye contact with him and felt so bad.

“I’m so sorry,” I mouthed.

Jack shook his head, dismissing my apology and mouthed something back to me. His eyes went wide and he quickly turned around and waved. Once again, he left me all alone. But what did he mouth to me? I looked a lot like ‘Olive Juice’. What the fuck is olive juice and why did he say it?