Hospital Beds and Memories

I didn’t know what time it was, but I did know it was already a couple of days since Jack and I had been asked to babysit Emily. The fans loved the new red hair, but they were not only going crazy about that. They all wanted to know who the two girls were. Was I his girlfriend and was that my daughter? Was I somebody who had history with Jack and Emily was our daughter? Was I some friend who had a much younger sister? Maybe we were just family friends? Rumors were being spread everywhere, but only a few seemed to realize I was the girl from all the other videos and pictures; I was the girl who they suddenly found out about.

The door to my bedroom suddenly opened, scaring me. It was still dark outside, and I couldn’t see anything inside of my room. Who--no what--was opening my door so slowly? Was it some creepy serial killer who decided to come and attack me? My heart was beating fast and I stayed still and quiet. If this was another one of Cam’s pranks, I was seriously going to get mad at him.

“Ireland?” A voice whispered.

“Jack?” I said back in a hushed tone.

“Sorry for waking you up.” He walked forward and I could finally make out that it was indeed him.

“It’s fine. How did you get in?”

“I still have a key. I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to come here.”

I shuffled up so there was space for him to come in bed with me. “Some on, then.”

He got underneath the covers and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling myself closer to him. I never had Jack come to me when something was wrong, this was new, but I liked it. It was like I could trust him more. I wasn’t the only one that needed him around, but he needed me as well.

“Being the little spoon is quite comfortable,” Jack spoke up.

“I know,” I nuzzled into his back, “but you get to be it this time. Normally, I get the hugs and kisses, but now you get it.”

“I would be embarrassed and feel like a girl, but I like it. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about around you.”

I kissed his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

With that, we both fell asleep. Our relationship was getting stronger and stronger. Nothing could ruin it at this point. Jack and I were inseparable, we nearly spent every day together, hell, nearly every minute together. And if we weren’t, we would still somehow end up in each other's presence, this moment being one of them. I didn’t know whether or not Jack was telling me the truth about not being able to sleep, but I didn’t care; we got to cuddle again.

I woke up to Jack stroking my face gently and leaning over me. Stretching out, I smiled back at him. I probably looked amazing; hair all over the place, pale face, and crusty eyes. But, nonetheless, Jack grinned back at me and leaned down to kiss me. Before his lips could touch mine, though, I lightly pushed him away.

I pointed at my mouth. “I probably have morning breath.”

Jack shook his head and inched closer to me again. “I don’t care.”

This time I let him carefully capture my lips. I could feel my chapped lips scratch against his smooth ones. Chapped lips really were an archenemy during kissing, but Jack didn’t seem to mind. He just didn’t care what I looked like anymore, and I loved him even more for that. Before I could try to deepen the kiss by pulling him closer, he pulled away, leaving me feeling cold.

I stuck my bottom lip out, hoping to guilt trip him. “More kisses?”

Jack chuckled and shook his head. “Not until you buy a plane ticket to come see me on tour. I want to see my baby.”

“But what if I’m not seizure free and have already bought a ticket? I won’t be able to come.”

“I promise to pay you back if medical reasons stop you from coming. I’ll even be happy to pay now for no reason at all.”

“I’m not allowing you to do that.” I got up and took my laptop from my desk before sitting back on the mattress. “Now, when do you want me to come?”

Jack got out his phone and pulled up his calendar, showing me where he would be every single day. We looked around on websites and at my working schedule before settling on a date. I was going to go in three weeks and arrive in the morning. That way I could still spend the day with Jack before watching their show. Now I wouldn’t have to wait for weeks before he came home. And I was actually able to afford the ticket, which was pretty impressive.

I put my laptop on the floor beside the bed and looked at Jack. “Do I get kisses now?”

“I don’t know,” Jack smirked. “Do you?”

“You promised!”

“I did, didn’t I? Shit. I can’t get out of this.”

“You know you want to.”

“You’re right, I really do.” He didn’t hesitate to grab my neck and smash my lips against his. I quickly got into the hurried and desperate rhythm. I ran my hands up his chest until they eventually rested on his shoulders. Jack definitely didn’t have the hot body most girls wanted from a guy, but he was perfect to me. Slowly, he pushed me backward until my head rested on my pillow. His legs were on either side of me, making sure his weight wasn’t on top of me.

I broke apart briefly to catch my breath. “You’re basically a prostitute. I paid you to give me kisses.”

He licked his lips. “Everybody already knows I am one.”

I giggled and ran my fingers through the red streak in his hair. “Gosh, the red really makes you look sexy.”

I pulled him down to make our lips collide once again before he could reply. Jack didn’t hesitate to make it deeper and add tongue. My fingers tangled and pulled on his hair, earning a silent groan from him. His shirt came off --I had just realized that he was wearing clothes and not pajamas--and we continued our movements. He kept pushing harder and harder and I couldn’t keep my hands off of him, until he stopped.

He rested his head again my shoulder and let out a breathy laugh. “I’m so sorry. I was doing so well.”

I took me a while to realize what he meant, but I internally screamed at how cute he was being when I figured it out. “You’re still doing well.” I reached out, unbuckled his belt and pulled the zipper of his gray skinny jeans down.

He gave me a very shocked look, “what?”

Instead of answering, I continued the kiss and slowly pulled his jeans down.

But Jack broke it off again. “Isle. What are you doing? We don’t have to do this until you’re ready.”

“I’m ready, Jack.” I wanted to kiss him again, but Jack avoided it.

“I’m being serious. I will wait as long as I need to. Don’t think that because I’ll be gone in two days that you have to do this. I don’t want you doing anything you don’t want to do.”

“You don’t want to do this?” I frowned.

“No, of course I do, but just a couple of days ago you were telling me you were a virgin and weren’t ready yet. I don’t want to do anything unless you’re sure.”

“Please, Jack.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Jack nodded and searched my eyes one last time. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

He didn’t take any more time before slowly and carefully kissing me. But I didn’t want it that way. I wanted more, faster, harder. Jack happily followed my pace before taking control again. He hooked his fingers on the waistband of my pajama pants and pulled them down. My shirt came off next and I was left in just my underwear. This was the most exposed I had been around somebody in ages, if you don’t count the doctors examining me. I felt embarrassed and started rethinking my choice. Jack was going to see my scar and judge me. Oh god, this was a--

“You’re so beautiful,” Jack breathed out, “how did I get so lucky?”

“You really think so?” I doubted.

He nodded his head and attacked my neck, placing wet kisses on the skin. Just when I was getting into it and let out a moan, Jack stopped again. He froze completely and I thought I had done something wrong. Was I not good enough for him? Would he rather have someone more experienced? I didn’t know what I was doing, of course I would screw this up.

“Shit,” Jack mumbled.

“What’s wrong?” I said, hoping I didn’t sound too nervous and self-conscious.

“I forgot-- [i[Shit. I don’t have any condoms on me.”

“Oh thank god.” I accidentally sighed out in relief.

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

“No, not that way. I thought you were going to tell me I wasn’t good enough.”

“Why would I say that?”

“Because you’re experienced as fuck, and I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“I really don’t care.” He leaned down to kiss me, but I was sitting up at the same time. Our heads hit each other, creating a hollow sound. We both reached for our foreheads and squinted in pain. I laid back down a mumbled an ‘ouch’.

“Let’s just try to not do that again,” Jack laughed.

"Yeah." I nodded and rubbed the area. "Now get off me.”

“What?”

“Just do it.” I pushed his chest and Jack climbed off me, making sure not to make our heads hit again. I got up and walked to the drawers beside my desk. Jack’s eyes were on me the entire time, taking in my body and looking at every detail. I searched for the items I was looking for. Before I went back to Jack, I made sure to lock the door. I wasn’t going to let Cam walk in on us, not when it was my first time.

“Here.” I handed the items to Jack. He was sitting on the mattress, while I was standing in front of him.

He looked at what I had given him and smirked. “You have condoms?”

“Cam has been hiding them around my room since he found us making out on the couch that one time, the same with the pregnancy tests. If you would know how many there are, you would think I’m a whore and a slut.”

“Well, I definitely don’t think that.” He put the condoms down beside him and grabbed my by the hips, kissing up and down my stomach, his fingers trailing the large scar on my side.

“Can I lie back down? I feel awkward being taller than you,” I asked, hoping it didn’t sound rude.

“Yeah, sure.” He gave me space to lie down, but I wanted to do one more thing.

I sat down first and looked at Jack. “Can I take this off?” I played with a bra strap.

Jack nodded, only a squeaky noise coming out of him. I reached back and unhooked the clothing article before letting it fall off and putting it aside. The tenting in Jack’s boxers was visibly getting worse as he couldn’t stop himself anymore. He smashed his lips against mine and got me to lie down by pushing. His hands wandered down and massaged my breasts.

“Jack,” I breathed out as the kissing went down my collarbone and towards the valley between my breasts.

“I just want to make sure you’re fully prepared.” His hand slipped into my panties and his fingers ran up and down my slit. I couldn’t help but moan and arch my back as his thumb pressed against a very sensitive spot. My face turned a pinkish red and I wanted to hide in a hole.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, baby,” Jack muttered.

He kept going until his hand suddenly left. “I think you’re ready. Do you feel ready, mentally and physically?”

“Yes. Please, Jack,” I whined. He was taking so long.

“Ok,” Jack took off my panties, leaving me completely naked and exposed. He briefly got up to take off his own boxers before sitting back down and taking one of the condoms. I watched as he tried to open the packet, but his hands were shaking too much. After letting him try for a bit more, I sat up myself and took his hands in mine.

“Jack, you’re shaking.” I didn't know what else to say.

“I know,” Jack mumbled and tried again.

“Just because I’m ready, doesn’t mean you have to be. Being experienced doesn’t necessarily mean being ready.”

“It’s not that, I’m just shaking.”

“Here, let me try,” I took it from him and ripped it open, “at least I know I’m not to only one nervous.”

Jack chuckled, “I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous before… I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“It will be fine.” I pointed at the condom. “Can I put it on you?”

“Do you know how?”

I nodded and rolled it on him, making sure to do everything Cameron had told me to do; sex-ed never was useful. All you learned was that you’ll die if you have sex, ever. Nothing about being safe and how to do it, just that you shouldn’t do it. You’ll get an STD and live a miserable life before dying. Luckily, I had a brother who was way too concerned about me, and gave me a terrible lesson a couple of days ago. It was very weird and awkward. I came home one day and he was sitting in the living room with dildos, condoms, and many other weird contraptions and diagrams. It was pretty terrifying and I didn’t even dare ask where he got it all from.

I shuffled back into my position of before, and Jack climbed back on top of me This was it. It was going to happen now.

“Just go for it,” I told him before he could ask me questions about being sure again.

Jack nodded, intertwined our fingers on one hand, and lined himself up. “Tell me if I need to stop, ok? I love you.”

He slid into me, causing me minor pain, but I still told him to slow down, the further he went the more it started hurting. I squeezed his hand until he was fully in. It was a strange feeling that I couldn’t quite describe. There was pain, but also some pleasure.

Jack hid his face in my neck and took a shaky breath. “Tell me when.”

But I just lied there, not saying anything. Something overcame me; something that made me terrified; something that was holding me back. I could feel tears building up behind my eyes, but I wasn’t going to let them fall; I had already come this far, I wasn’t going to chicken out now. This was what I wanted, why were stupid memories trying to stop me? I took in a deep breath that was way too uneven. And apparently Jack noticed.

He propped himself up and looked at me. “Are you crying? Am I hurting you? Should we stop?”

I shook my head and a tear escaped. “I’m just nervous, that’s all.”

“I don’t want to do this unless you’re a 100% comfortable.” He kissed away the tear.

“I’m fine.”

“I promise nothing will happen, I won’t ever intentionally hurt you.”

“Ok,” I took one last encouraging breath, “you can move now.”

“Ok.” Jack smiled down at me before starting a loving kiss.

I held onto him, too afraid I would lose him if I let go. He slowly thrust in and out. There was still some pain, but it faded a lot quicker than I expected. This pace was probably the slowest he had ever gone; most of his times were a quick fuck, but this was different, or I hoped so at least. The pleasure took over completely and I was left to whimper quietly every time he thrust in after he had left my mouth to go to my neck once again. He let his one free hand roam around my body, adding to the bliss.

“Jack, please go faster,” I whispered. We were being very quiet, the only sounds being our heavy breathing, our bodies against each other, and my sheets occasionally being moved along with us.

“I won’t be able to last long enough if I do,” Jack confided.

“I don’t care, just please, Jack.”

He fastened the pace just slightly, but it was perfect for me. I let my free hand go to his neck and play with the bottom of his hair. In a way it felt like I was pulling him closer.

His groans started getting louder. “I’m really close, Isle. I don’t think I can hold it back anymore.”

“It’s ok,” I assured.

A couple of seconds later Jack let out some profanities and his thrusting got slower and slower until he stopped and pulled out. He pushed himself down a bit so he could rest his head against my stomach.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make you finish,” Jack uttered.

“It’s fine, did you actually think I would be close to an orgasm or something while losing my virginity? That’s nearly impossible.”

“I can still finish you off.”

“No, I’ve had enough sex. Not that it was bad or anything, I just feel satisfied.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” I ran my fingers through his hair again.

“I love your boobs as well." Jack was staring up at them.

“First time you’ve seen me naked, isn’t it?”

“Well--”

“No, you didn’t see anything that time.”

“Oh, yeah, right, I didn’t,” he chuckled, “you know, when you said you weren’t going to shave down there for me, I thought it would have been a lot more, you know, bushy.”

“Oh my god, Jack,” I laughed, “are you actually asking me about that right now? Why would you even ask in general?”

“It’s just an observation.”

“Well, just because I don’t shave doesn’t mean I don’t keep it under control. I’ll let you figure out what that means.”

“I will love you and think you’re beautiful no matter what.” He started getting up. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to throw this condom away.”

He got up and left to go to my bathroom, leaving me to think about what just happened. Jack and I had sex for the first time and I was no longer a virgin. Holy shit. It all happened pretty quickly. I just wondered if this was going to bring me and Jack closer together, or make things more awkward.

Jack brought me out of my thoughts by walking out of the bathroom. “I suggest you go to the toilet, I don’t want you getting a bladder infection. It’s not a nice memory to have of your first time.”

I picked up Jack’s shirt and pulled it over my head before running to the bathroom. “Right, thanks for reminding me.”

When I came back out, Jack was already wearing a pair of sweatpants he kept here. I got some underwear from my closet and quickly put it on before turning to him. “I’m hungry. Should we go see if there’s anything we can find for a late breakfast?”

“Sure.” Jack walked up to me and I unlocked the door.

Everything seemed fine until I walked into the kitchen and saw Cameron sitting at the table. He was smirking at us and looking in between us with suggestive looks. I raised my eyebrows at him in a questioning manner, he answered in raising his eyebrows in a hinting way.

“Ok, what’s up?” I asked him after having a long stare down.

“My sister is no longer a virgin,” he grinned.

“What?”

“Oh come on, you just unlocked your door, you never lock your door! You’re wearing Jack’s shirt and underwear, no pants, you never do that either. And Jack looks like he just got laid. I’m a guy, I know what guys look like when they just had sex.”

Jack laughed. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

Cam looked at him and smirked again. “You know she’s going to tell me everything, right?”

“No, I am not,” I interrupted.

“I’m going to force you, not because I want to know, but because you fucking tell me everything.”

“I’m still not going to tell you.”

“Yes, you are,” he put his bowl in the sink and walked out, “I’ll get it out of you!”

I shook my head and turned to Jack. “I am not telling him.”

Jack raised his hands. “It’s your choice, he’s seen my dick many times before. I don’t care.”

“Well, I do.”

Jack was leaning against the counter, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned into him, my forehead against his bare chest. He hugged me back and kissed the top of my head, making me sigh in content. I just wished it could be like this forever.

“Too bad it’s our last day together,” I mumbled and looked up at his through my eyelashes.

“Mhmm, yeah.” He stared at the wall opposite of us.

“But you’re going to go see your parents tomorrow, so that’s ok too.”

“Huh? Oh yeah, I wanted to see them before I left again.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, but you’ll come visit me soon. I think we’ll be able to make it till then.”