Hospital Beds and Memories

I woke up to kisses being littered all over my face until the last couple pecks were placed right onto my lips. Letting out a small groan, I reached out to push Jack away. I didn’t care what time it was, I was still very tired. Let’s just say that it took a while for Jack and I to fall asleep, if you know what I mean. What was early for him, was pretty late for me. So, while he was completely awake and able to be excited, I felt like I could sleep for another couple of hours… or days… maybe even weeks.

“Come on,” Jack urged with much enthusiasm in his voice, “We’re going to explore Disney World today!”

Oh yeah, that’s what we were going to be doing; that was the reason why Jack woke me up and didn’t let me sleep for much longer. It actually did give me a bit more motivation to actually open my eyes and try to wake up. I had to ignore how terrible I actually felt, just because I really did want to go to Disney World. To be honest, if I were at home now, I would have refused to ever come out of bed and would have probably asked Jack get a bucket ready for me to throw up over the course of the day. Not only did I feel nauseous, but all my joints were aching as well. It literally hurt to move my limbs, every small twitch making me feel an uneasy and uncomfortable pain. Not that any pain wasn’t uncomfortable… it just wasn’t enough yet to make me scream out.

When I finally opened my eyes, I was met with the sight of Jack still hovering over me slightly, giving me the biggest grin he could muster. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t even a little bit excited to be going to Disney World. I was actually pretty sure he was just as excited as me. Nobody could be bored or upset in this situation.

“Good, you’re up. I know it’s early for you, but we need a couple of hours at Disney World if we actually want to do stuff. So, it’s time for you to take your medication, then we can take a shower and have breakfast.” He smiled, planning out the entire day in his head already, starting to get out of bed after giving me one last peck on the lips. “How does that sound?”

“We can take a shower? Are you implying that we shower to--” I didn’t even get to groggily finish my sentence before I was completely distracted by Jack’s back, which was on full display for me as he sat on the edge of the bed. A blush slowly crept onto my cheeks as my eyes flickered between the many scratches he had going down from his shoulders all the way to his waist. They were bright red and painful looking, but Jack didn’t even seem to realise.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he noticed I didn’t even finish my comment.

I blinked a couple times, tearing my eyes away from the sight and instead looking at his concerned features. “Oh, umm, nothing. You might just want to keep a shirt of the entire day, unless you want everybody to know what happened last night.”

“What?” He furrowed his eyebrows, not understanding what I meant.

“Just look at your back,” I sighed and shook my head, starting to slowly make myself sit up in bed. My back was close to refusing the body weight it had to support while my wrists didn’t exactly like pushing me up. But there weren’t any other positions that would make me feel much better.

Jack rushed over to the full length mirror and craned his neck to be able to see the reflection of his back, pulling at the skin with his hands to make it easier. His confused frown quickly turned into a smirk as he went to look back at me. “I didn’t know I was able to pleasure you that much.”

“Shut up,” I muttered and threw a pillow at him as my blush intensified, quickly hiding my face behind my hands.

“Only because you’re so fucking cute right now.” He was suddenly standing in front of me, peeling my hands off my face so he could give me a big grin before leaning down to kiss me. “And you need to take your medication now. I’ll go get them for you along with a big glass of water, you stay here, ok?”

“Ok,” I whispered and smiled as I watched Jack walk over to his backpack, which had the paper bag with all my medication in it. He frowned at a small piece of paper that was included, trying his best to read the squiggly doctor’s handwriting and take out the proper dosages of the right medications. It was quite a long list. Everyday I was supposed to take many different pills, all at different times during the day.

Jack soon returned with ten pills, some of them of the same kind, after he had gone to the bathroom to fill a glass with water for me. I smiled and thanked him as I carefully took the glass from him and moved all the pills into my hand. It was going to have to be quick; I was going to have to swallow these pills quickly and chase them with water immediately. If I took too long the horrible, bland powdery taste would stay in my mouth, and I was not going to risk throwing up just because of that taste. So, I swallowed pill after pill, keeping my eyes closed as my face scrunched up every time.

Jack stroked my head before carefully kissing the top of it. “Good job. Now, let’s go take that shower.”

So, we did. No funny business happened, but Jack just wanted to help me. I was actually very thankful for it. There used to be a point in my life where I would have absolutely refused it, but I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do it by myself. I didn’t exactly tell Jack -- hell, I didn’t tell him at all -- but it already hurt to raise my arms up or bend down to pick something up. I was really happy that he was there to help me wash my body, and he did it all without making me feel uncomfortable.

I put on some light clothes since I was going to be wearing a beanie. I didn’t want to overheat while we were there, but I was probably going to refuse showing off my bald shiny head in front of so many people. Of course I brought a hoodie with me, just in case I would get cold, but otherwise a loose fitting t-shirt (not that I didn’t have a shirt that wasn’t loose fitting anymore) and some shorts was going to have to do. Nothing special really.

Since it was pretty early, or at least early for me now (it totally wouldn’t have been when I was completely healthy), me managed to go down to the restaurant and get some breakfast. Well, it was more like Jack got an elaborate breakfast with pancakes and maple syrup, while I just asked for a bowl of fruit. Although it wasn’t much, it was something. I needed some energy for the day to come. Jack seemed to appreciate it, so that was always a bonus.

All was calm and quiet until a family with a young girl walked past us. She stared at me for a bit while still trying to follow her parents. That was when she suddenly pointed at me blurted out, “mama, what’s wrong with her?”

Her mother looked at me and her eyes immediately went wide with panic. Jack was in a similar situation, having heard loud and clearly what the little girl had said. They both didn’t know exactly what to do, but the mother immediately started apologizing profusely, telling her child she couldn’t just ask stuff like that.

I just shook my head and indirectly asked if I could tell the girl what was going on. The mother nodded slowly as I got off my chair and lowered myself to the floor. Ignoring the pain all throughout my body, I crossed my legs so I was the same height as the daughter. She looked at me curiously as she hugged her Minnie Mouse soft toy to her chest.

“Hi,” I smiled at her, so I wouldn’t scare her off, already trying to think of the best way to tell her the morbid information, “what’s your name?”

“Charlie,” she replied in a whisper, acting shy although she was still examining me.

“That’s a very nice name.” I responded and grinned as she shyly shuffled around. “Well, Charlie, do you want to know why I don’t look exactly as good as all the other people here?”

She thought for a while before before nodding wildly, clutching Minnie Mouse tighter to her body.

“I’ll tell you then. So, we are all made of these small things and normally they all live happily together. That’s how it is for most people. But then for people like me, something evil happens. One of the small things turns bad and quickly everything around it also turns bad, making me very ill. The doctors try their best to make everything happy again, but it means that they have to stop a lot of the things going on, meaning that some of the happy stuff also stops temporarily, like my hair stops growing.”

She gasped and her gaze intensified, as if she finally realised what was missing, “Your hair is gone!”

I nodded and took off the beanie, showing off what I wanted to hide not even an hour before. The girl looked at me and frowned, “You’re still pretty though.”

I gave her a small smile that faltered soon before putting the beanie on her head. “Thank you,” I lowered my voice so that Jack couldn’t hear a thing I was saying, “Do you want to keep this safe for me? I won’t be needing it for much longer.”

Once again she seemed very excited and did a little dance. She didn’t understand the somber and morbid meaning behind my sentence, but apparently her mother did. Placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, she thanked me with a sympathetic look, before joining the rest of her family. I stood back up to sit on my chair again, wincing in pain as my legs carried all my weight again for a bit.

“Are you ok?” Jack carefully asked me, looking worried as he was finally able to see how much in pain I actually was.

“Yeah, just a little sore,” I dismissed, trying to focus back on the small bowl of fruit I had.

“Maybe we should go back to our room after breakfast so you can take some painkillers.”

“That might be a good idea, just so it won’t get worse over the day. I still need to be able to survive tomorrow as well.” I agreed, trying to make it sound less worse than it actually was. The next day we were going to go to a venue not too far away. Jack had found out that the guys were playing in Florida, so he took the chance to join them again. It was only for one show though. I wasn’t going to decline it. Plus, if this was going to be my last chance to see Jack play along with the others, I was going to take it.

----

While we were waiting in the cue to get the tickets, I reached into Jack’s backpack and looked around for something. Somewhere, there had to be a folder storing some documents, including one I was looking for. Jack had no idea what I was doing and frowned at me as I took out a piece of paper, or more specifically a doctor’s letter. It’s always pretty useful to know a doctor at the hospital you’re admitted to; they can always pull some strings for you and make specific things easier. Now, when I organized it, I didn’t even think of going to Disney World yet, but I knew it would come in handy someday, I just didn’t know it would be this soon.

“What’s that?” Jack asked before I was able to explain it to him.

“Well,” I handed him the sheet while I closed the backpack again, “I have right to disabled access and a wheelchair.”

“Disabled access and a wheel chair?” He raised an eyebrow at me, not too surprised, but also not understanding it fully.

I nodded in confirmation. “Yeah. I can’t stand and wait in the cues for the rides for really long, especially in warm weather with the sun beaming down on me. And then the wheelchair is needed because I might get too tired or it might be too painful to walk. Also, people don’t really believe you if you go to the disabled entrance without a wheelchair… like you probably know…”

“So, you’re doing this so we can cut the line?”

“Basically.”

We took full advantage of it, also getting a wheelchair like the doctor had recommended. I was too strong to actually sit in it and be wheeled around by Jack though, especially at the beginning. It wasn’t too difficult walking around since we never had to wait longer than 10 minutes. However, as the day progressed and as the painkillers started wearing off, I decided it was best to actually sit down and not walk for much longer. Of course Jack freaked out when I told him I was having some pain, but I told him not to worry, that it wasn’t too bad yet. But, honestly, the pain had gotten worse since that morning.

The only thing that really really sucked--other than feeling uncomfortable the entire time because my whole body was aching--was that I couldn’t go onto the really crazy and fun rides. So, no loopings, high drops, or super fast speeds for me. Apparently it would be a risk if I went on them, as if my health could get any worse by having some fun. It was just going to have to be motivation to stay alive so I could come again and actually go on everything I wanted.

We were waiting to go on the next ride, standing on the other side of the terminal than all the other guests. I didn’t even know where we were anymore. Jack had quite literally dragged me in, and since we went through the disabled entrance, we didn’t even see any of the decoration. We always just entered through what was actually the exit. The fact that I was really starting to get exhausted was also really getting in the way. It was only three pm and I already felt like I could sleep for two days straight.

“Hey, you need to take your medication again,” Jack whispered as his bag went from his back and he opened it. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a water bottle.”

“Ok,” I muttered while my head was resting in my left hand. This was going to be the last ride I got on, I really needed to get to bed soon.

As Jack was looking through everything, somebody shouted his name from the crowd, causing Jack to look up in confusion immediately. When the person shouted out that they were wearing an All Time Low shirt, he gave a big grin and a thumbs up before returning to his bag, looking through the selection of pills he had been carrying along the entire time. I could tell he really wasn’t up for fan interaction, because when the girl continued to shout, asking him if he was going to be there during the show, he only gave a thumbs up, but didn’t look up. It wasn’t something you’d realise if you were excited about seeing your idol, but I definitely did. Normally he would be shouting things back, you know, the Jack way. It was completely the opposite now.

After I forced myself to swallow the six pills I was given this time, we were allowed on. However, I had misjudged how bad my knees actually were. When I went to get out of the wheelchair and walk to the roller coaster train, my legs nearly gave out from underneath me. I harshly clutched onto Jack to stabilize myself. He quickly looked at me, panic taking over his eyes.

“Are you ok?” He questioned seeming very concerned and ready to jump into action if needed.

I just shook my head, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to hide this from him. If I said I was completely fine, he would have known I was lying. I basically just fell over because of the pain, it would make no sense to act like nothing was wrong.

“Do you still want to go on the ride? Or would you rather go back?”

I nodded at the first question, “yes, but this is the last ride I’ll go on.”

Jack helped me into the train, making sure I lowered myself down slowly and didn’t do anything to quickly and cause myself too much pain. I felt bad for holding up the whole thing, but going back would only take me even longer. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to live a ‘normal’ life while in so much agony and discomfort. Jack just kept muttering encouraging words while I was also thanking him.

I just hoped he would be enough when we went back home.