I'm Not Okay

After the amazingly awesome concert, all of us adoring fans (and some forced parents) were herded out like cattle in a stock show, through the venue gates. I kept bumping into everyone, booze and adrenaline aftershock making me an unstable being.

“Gah damn that was a GREAT concert!” I threw my hands in the air and gave a big hug to the nearest person. “Oh, Miles I love you so much! Thank you for bringing me!” and I squeezed.

“What the fuck, girl get off of me!” I ended up squeezing a big black guy who didn’t look all too happy to have a skinny white chick hanging on him.

“Oops! My bad sorry dude.” I slurred as I took my hands off of the angry black man and step away. He gave me an angry glare and started mumbling under his breath. And thanks to my drunken adrenaline self, I made things even more awkward. “Yea, word to your mother! G-dog?” The already angry black man gave the nasty glare and shook his head while his boys escorted him out.

Maybe not such a good idea to make things even more awkward. I stood up on my tippy-toes and scanned the masses for my best bud. After not finding his red/orange ‘fro I assumed him to be out by the truck waiting for me.

I circled that damned parking lot three fucking times, and when the last car drove away I figured he had left without me. Great, just peachy.

While cussing that ugly nit-wit out in my head, I placed my ipod’s earphones into my ear and hit shuffle. I’m Not Okay played in my head as I walked out of the parking lot and down the dirt road back to town, praying that I remember how to get back to town.

10 minutes into my trudging, my stomach made its presence known.

I patted my good friend, “Oh, I know my little friend. You are always there for me, you NEVER ditch me. I should’ve of fed you more than beer; I’m sorry.” Yes, when I am drunk I talk to myself, or various body parts.

After another 10 minutes I start to feel light headed. “Uhoh, feeling a little dizzy, please don’t hurl!” I grab my head and stumble on, but all to soon I fall and land face first on unforgiving ground, and proceed to pass out. You see? This is why you always eat something when you begin to drink. And why you never drink in the first place.

I don’t know how long I stayed that way, or how long I slept. The first thing I do recall is people talking in whispers and something soothing, and cold upon my forehead.