Seems Like We Lost It All

Ten

“Thanks for feeding me. That was probably the last relaxing moment I’ll have before the tour starts, Val insists I need a new wardrobe and is dragging me shopping tomorrow. Knowing her it will be an all day affair.” Madison unbuckled her seat belt and reached for the door handle.

Brian’s hand on her arm stopped her and she turned to look at him. “I’m glad you’re coming with us, I think it really will do a lot of good for you to get away from here. We all want to see you get back to a good place. If you ever need anything while we are gone, tell me. If you need to get away from all the excitement or even if you just need someone to vent to, I’m there.”

“Thanks, Brian.” She leaned across the car to give him a hug and that’s when it happened. He turned at the last second while she was leaning in and their lips met, briefly. Madison jumped back quickly, pressing herself against the car door. She knew it had to have been an accident. He didn’t realize she was trying to hug him and just happened to turn his head at the wrong moment. But she was still completely freaking out on the inside. They had become so close lately and she didn’t want anything to get in the way of that.

“Shit, sorry!” He laughed nervously, not meeting her eyes. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Was he nervous because he had kissed her on purpose? Or was he just feeling as awkward as she was because it really was accidental? She couldn’t tell. Her head was spinning. She didn’t know what the hell she was supposed to do to make it less awkward.

“I better get inside, lots of packing left to get done. See you around.” She didn't give him time to speak again before bailing out of the car and hurrying into the house.

“Way to go Madison, running away definitely made that less awkward,” she muttered to herself as she made her way into the kitchen. She didn’t know what to think about the sort-of kiss, but the one thing she did know was that she needed a drink. She was almost positive Matt and Val wouldn’t have thrown out all of the alcohol in the house so she starting searching through all the cabinets. She finally found a bottle of wine shoved to the back of a deep cabinet and pulled it out. She wasn’t necessarily a fan of wine, but it would have to do. She grabbed a glass and made her way upstairs to her room and turned on music immediately. She needed to throw herself into the packing and planning for the tour to keep her thoughts from wandering back to Brian.

She was digging through the cabinet in her attached bathroom, trying to figure out what all she wanted to take with her, when there was a knock on the bedroom door.

Brian was waiting on the other side. She let him in, reaching over to turn the music down.

“That whole thing just then was really weird. You seemed mad or freaked out or something. I just wanted to apologize again.”

“It was weird, for sure. But it was just an accident, right? Not a big deal.”

“What do you think it was?”

“An accident, nothing more. I’m not even remotely ready to deal with it being anything else.”

“Alright then, we’ll call it an accident,” He leaned in closer, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Believe me if it were something I planned you wouldn’t be having to guess if it was intentional or not.”

She didn’t know what to say to him then. He just smiled and stood up from the bed. “See you later, Maddie.”

He let himself out of her room, leaving her even more confused.

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“You’ve been out of it for half the morning, what is on your mind?” Val asked while plopping down on a bench outside the salon she had dragged Madison to.

“Brian and I kind of had a moment yesterday, if you can even call it that. It was nothing, really,” Madison said before telling Val what had happened the day before.

Val didn’t look even slightly surprised. “I’m just kind of impressed he held himself back for this long.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s always had a thing for you.”

“No he hasn’t! What is with you people? First Matt says that and now you?”

“It’s the truth. He was going to ask you out years ago, in high school at one of Zack’s Halloween parties. You just so happened to bring your new boyfriend, Alex, with you to meet everyone that night. Brian was disappointed to say the least. He drank more than I had ever seen him drink before at that point and puked in the bushes outside and on my favorite pair of converse I might add. Once it became obvious that you and Alex were a permanent thing Brian asked Michelle out and the rest is history.”

Groaning, Madison let her bags fall to the floor beside her feet. “Why are you telling me this now? The day before I leave to be stuck in close proximity to him for three months. I have enough problems already without adding this to the mix.”

“He won’t do anything stupid, he knows you aren’t ready for anything yet. He might push the boundaries a little bit, but that’s just who he is.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t even go.”

“Don’t even go there, you are going! Your brother is excited about having you out there with them, no way in hell am I letting you back out now.”

“You’re right. I’m sure that whole thing in his car was really just an accident so I doubt anything else will come up. But on the off chance it does, I’ll just tell him I’m not ready for anything like that yet.”

“Have you thought about what it will be like to be with someone else?”

“No, I haven’t. Alex was my first ever boyfriend. I have absolutely zero experience with any other guys ever. It will be terrifying to try to figure out how to be with anyone else.”

“Madison, we’re ready for you!” A cheery blonde from the salon called out.

Val clapped her hands and squealed excitedly. “I can’t wait to see this transformation!”

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“That color looks so good on you!” Val nearly screamed in the middle of the salon. She got excited way too easily for Madison’s liking.

She studied herself in the mirror, turning her head from side to side and watching as the light hit her hair. It was shoulder length and a very dark purple. Almost appearing black until the hit it from the right angle. A huge difference from the light brown, mid-back length hair she’d had before. She almost looked like a different person and she smiled at the thought. It was fitting that she looked like a different person since she basically was. She had to figure out almost every aspect of her life all over again. She had been with Alex since she was sixteen years old. He was her first everything. She didn’t know what life without him was supposed to look like. But it was time for her to start trying to figure it out. Maybe changing up her look was a good way to get started.

“You do realize Brian loves purple, right?” Val asked as they exited the salon.

Madison rolled her eyes, playfully shoving Val away from her as they both laughed. “Everything is not about Brian!”

“I know, I know. I was just messing with you. It’s good to see you laughing again. You look happier right now than you have in a long time.”

“I feel happier than I have in a long time. I know it’s still going to be hard sometimes and I’m going to have difficult days but right now I feel good. It’s time to try to pick myself up and start to move on with my life.”

Madison looked over at her sister in law to see that she was tearing up. "Stop that! You're going to make me cry too. Then people will start looking at us like we're insane standing in the middle of a mall sobbing."

"I'm just so happy that you're happy!" She sniffed and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Come on, you dork. Let's get you home so you can go on this spectacular date my brother has planned for you." Madison threw an arm around Val as they moved toward the exit. She felt like she could finally breathe a little easier, this day had been wonderful for her. For the first time she could really feel herself starting to heal.
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Two updates in that same week! What??!!