Seems Like We Lost It All

The place was the kind of chaotic only her friends could manage. Madison surveyed the living room and couldn’t help but shake her head. There were boxes piled all the way to the ceiling by the door. Matt and Brian were played basketball with the trash can and anything they could find to throw at it. There were two massive piles of trash bags. Anything she didn’t want and couldn’t donate was headed for a new home in the dumpster. Clothes that were being donated were all in bags ready to load in Matt’s truck. Madison laughed as Jimmy shoved Johnny into the pile of bags full of clothes. The shorter man jumped up and grabbed the nearest weapon he could find, a broom, and took off after Jimmy. The place was full of laughter. This wasn’t the miserable experience she’d feared it would be.

“Alright we’ve got everything sorted through and packed up except for the office. Do you want to start on that now?” Val asked as she placed another box down on the stack.

“Actually I think I want to do that room on my own.” That office was Alex’s personal space. It was meticulously organized to his liking and he didn’t want anyone to touch a thing inside, not even her. She knew it would be the hardest room for her to go through.

“How about I get everyone to go grab some pizza. It will give you some time to do that and we’ll bring you back a whole pizza for yourself!”

“Hell yeah. That sounds amazing Val, thanks for all your help today.”

“Don’t mention it. That’s what family is for.”

Madison sat down on the couch and took a break while Val cleared everyone out. After she heard the last car leave she finally got to her feet and headed for the office.

The room had been closed up ever since the night of the accident. It still smelled like him and she couldn’t take it anymore. She slammed the door shut again and ran back down the hallway. She entered the living room at the same time Brian stepped through the front door.

“I forgot my phone- Madison what’s wrong?”  

“I thought I could do it by myself but I can’t.”

“What can I do to help?” He asked with no hesitation. He could see the pain written all over her face and wanted to do everything he could to take that away.

“Stay with me while I go through his things?”

“Of course.” Brian followed her down the hallway and she paused outside of the closed door. He reached over and grabbed her hand that was sweaty and trembling.

“We don’t have to do this today if you aren’t ready. There’s no rush,” Brian murmured. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, hoping to offer at least a little bit of comfort to the hurting woman standing next to him.

“No, I need to do this now. I can’t live like this anymore. Maybe doing this will get me on the road to really coming to terms with his death.”

“I’ll be here for you, every second,” Brian assured her. She offered him a weak smile in thanks. Then with a final deep breath, she pushed open the door and stepped inside. She started with the bookshelves. She kept any books that caught her interest and the rest were placed into boxes for donation. Once that was finished, she decided to tackle the desk. The part of the room with the most reminders of him.

“I think I’ll do the desk next,” Madison said out loud, like she had to hear the words spoken to be able to make herself go through with it. It felt so wrong when she sat down in Alex’s chair and started pulling things from the drawers. He’d always been slightly nuts about his desk being organized. It was just one of those quirks he had that she loved.

There wasn’t much of interest in the drawers, mostly just typical office supplies. She was rummaging through the last drawer when she found a cell phone. It wasn’t one she recognized. Assuming it was an extra she moved to toss it into the garbage bag when she got an overwhelming feeling that she should turn it on.

She held her finger over the power button but of course it was dead. A little bit more rummaging uncovered a charger that she quickly plugged in and connected to the phone. After a few moments she was able to power it on. She opened the photo gallery first to see what kind of memories the device held in it’s storage. She couldn’t believe her eyes when the first photo was of a woman in lingerie and it wasn’t her. The whole album was full of pictures of the same woman. With tears burning her eyes, Madison opened the texts. Every text on the phone was from the woman, apparently named Andrea. There were thousands of texts between the two of them leaving nothing to the imagination. Alex had been having an affair with this woman.

Madison felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She stood up quickly only to slowly sink back down into the chair again with tears rolling down her cheeks. Brian stepped back into the room from taking a box to the living room and immediately went to her side.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently. All she could do was fiercely shake her head and shove the phone into his hands. “That fucking asshole!”

“Our marriage was a lie,” Madison whispered.

“I’m so sorry.” Brian had no idea what to say other than that. He murmured words to her that made no sense to her jumbled mind.  

Madison launched herself at Brian, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso and burying her face in his shirt. The force of her hitting him knocked him on his ass but he didn’t care. He simply wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth, letting her cry until she got it all out.

“Did he ever love me?”

“Don’t go there, Maddie. It will only drive you crazy.”

“Don’t go there? Well what the fuck am I supposed to think? He was having an affair with another woman! If he loved me, if he was happy with me, he wouldn’t have gone looking for someone else! You know what? Let’s just throw all of his stuff out. I don’t want to keep a fucking thing of his.”

Madison tried to get to her feet but Brian’s arms kept her seated. She struggled against for a few moments before collapsing against him again, her petite form shaking as she sobbed.

“Just give yourself some time to calm down. You don’t want to let your emotions get the best of you and do something you’ll regret later.”

“I feel like I'm suffocating, I need to get out of here right now. I can’t be here for another second.”

“Okay, we’ll go.” Brian followed Madison out of the house, grabbing the suitcase she’d filled with more of her things to take to Matt’s house. They climbed into Brian’s car and he headed in the direction of Matt’s home.

“I don’t feel like going back to my brother’s place. Do you want to go somewhere else?” Madison suddenly asked.

“Where?”

“Just drive until we figure something out.”