Maybe Memories

"Let's get this over with." I tried to sound strong, brave even, but something in my quivering voice and shaking hands made me feel like that wasn't quite working out.

"Don't be hasty now." Shane was uncomfortably close to me, breathing down my neck. "Why don't you start by telling me what the hell you're doing back here."

"My mom died, I'm selling her house and leaving." I wanted to be sure he knew I didn't intend to stay.

"I'm going to make you a deal." He out his hands on his hips and glared at me with some sort of sick smile on his face. "For the remainder of your stay, ya stay with me at my place so I can watch you. Make sure you stay in line." His face twisted into something more cynical, if that was even possible. "And hey, maybe we can have a little fun while we're cozied up there."

"I'm married." I couldn't spit anything out but that, and I realized it was a stupid things to say to someone who didn't even care about consent, let alone a standing relationship.

"Oh? Ya tell Dixon that before ya fucked?" He laughed as if somehow this was funny. I was fuming, but my fear stopped me from doing anything stupid.

"We never.. We haven't been romantic." I said, trying to stand my ground.

"Sure, sure." He rolled his eyes, not believing me. "I could just let the hubby know who's been stayin' at the house with ya, sure he'd love to see that in action."

"Stop. I'm not having an affair." Telling him we were divorcing anyway would only make my case weak, it would only be admitting what I was feeling for Daryl, and I prayed that Shane didn't catch onto how I felt, even though it seemed like he already knew.

"Not yet anyway." He touched my arm, making me yank it away from him. "Now now cupcake, better listen to Officer Walsh, wouldn't want ya getting into trouble for trespassing now."

I looked around me, unaware until that moment that he'd lead me into private property. Back when I lived in Georgia the first time, I walked these trails all the time, I didn't know anyone actually bought the land since then. "Why are you doing this? I didn't tell anyone. Just let me go home." I was starting to tear up.

"Your home is gonna be with me now, 'till I'm sure you ain't ever comin' back." He got a sickening smirk on his face, which made me understand that he wasn't intending for me to go back to New York. He was intending to kill me, like he had in the past.

"What is your obsession with this?" I choked out, wanting to understand. "Why can't you just leave me the hell alone!?"

He grabbed my arm and yanked me close to him, practically barking at me "Because ya wouldn't cooperate the first time bitch! I almost got busted 'cause of you!" He let go of my arm and shoved me to the ground. He stood over me as I tried to back up, only hitting the edge of the river. "Now let's go get into the fucking car. Now."

"Please don't-"

"Now!" I stared in silence, damning myself for being so stupid.

"Don't fucking move." I heard from behind Shane. I was shocked to hear it, and a wave of relief washed over me. I would've recognized that rugged voice anywhere.

Shane slowly turned around to face Daryl who held a crossbow to his face. His choice of weapon was odd to me, but the silence of it made sense. "Told ya to come alone. Thought we had an understanding." He said, holding his hands up.

"I didn't- I-"

"Ellie, get behind me." He didn't dare break eye contact with Shane, who looked immeasurably pissed. I slowly stood up and carefully made my way around Shane to stand behind Daryl. I had never been so relieved in my life.

"Ain't no body gotta get hurt tonight." Shane said, almost mocking him.

"Yeah? Ain't what ya said earlier. Singin' different tune now, ain't ya?" Daryl said through gritted teeth. I could feel the heat radiating off his body, he practically shook in anger.

"You're gonna regret this Dixon. Promise ya that." He looked like he'd been defeated, but I knew this wouldn't be the last of Shane's taunting. This seemed to be the beginning.

"Put the gun on the ground and kick it over." Daryl instructed.

Shane rolled his eyes and did as he was asked. Daryl put a muddy boot on the gun and continued to point his weapon. "Can I go now officer?" He mocked, only pissing Daryl off more.

"Get the fuck outta here asshole. I never wanna see ya fuckin' with Ellie again. Go." Silence ensued as Shane walked off back to his car, though his threat still rang in my head. Once we were sure he was gone, Daryl eased up a bit and took the arrow from the crossbow. He started walking back to the edge of the woods without saying anything. I knew he was mad at me.

As he hopped onto his motorcycle, I stopped him by putting aa hand on his arm. "Daryl I-" He started up the bike, drowning me out before I could finish. He pulled away, then stalled, waiting for me to follow in my car. I got in the driver's seat and followed him home, wondering if it would be a night of silence or not.

We pulled into the driveway and I cautiously followed him into the house. I locked the door behind me and turned to him, he was facing me, crossing his arms and staring me down. "Are ya fuckin' stupid? What the fuck were ya thinkin'?" He wasn't yelling, but he didn't sound happy.

"I just thought that if I did what he asked he'd leave you out of this. I didn't want anyone to get hurt." I knew it was stupid, but it was the only thing I could spit out. I felt nervous and uncomfortable.

"Why wouldn't ya just tell me what was goin' on?" He had a hurt look in his eyes, and I began to understand that he thought I didn't trust him, he thought I didn't think he could help me.

"I just wanted you to not get involved in this more than you already are. I didn't want him threatening you." I thought I might cry, I was so overwhelmed and scared already, this was hardly the time to be fighting with Daryl. "How did you find me so fast?"

"I heard ya leave earlier. Read the note and came as quick as I could. But what if I didn't hear ya? What if I was still layin' on the couch sleepin'? What woulda happened to ya?" I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to let the tears escape. Honestly, I didn't want to think about that part. I didn't want to think about what would have happened had Daryl not come to my rescue.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"I'm stayin' here to protect ya. I can't protect ya if ya don't tell me what's goin' on." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I can't let anythin' bad happen. If somethin' bad happened to ya, I'd never be able to forgive myself."

I stared at him, seeing hints of guilt already on his face. He wasn't mad at me because I did something stupid, he was mad because I almost got myself hurt, or killed. He took my well being as his responsibility, though I wasn't sure why. "I'm sorry Daryl." It was a lame apology, but it was all I had. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally.

"Get some sleep." He sighed, and sat down on the couch, probably ready to go back to bed.

I didn't want to leave the night like this, it was already bad enough, I couldn't deal with him being mad at me too. I sat next to him and turned to face him. He looked at me blankly and I almost froze up. I pulled him into me, hugging him tight, as if he would disappear at any moment. It took a minute, but he hugged me back. I nuzzled my face into his neck and sighed in a brief relief, knowing how different this night could have been. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." I whispered in his ear, knowing I had his attention without the anger that he often used to block things out.

"Don't. Jus' tell me when shit happens so I can help ya." His raspy, tired, voice melted through me like honey. I closed my eyes, and when he went to back away from me, I held onto his neck, not ready to let go.

A part of me was ready to break down and sob, it was hitting me, the events of the night, how close I was to being in a possibly fatal situation. I was overwhelmed and no amount of talking about it could ease my mind. I needed a distraction, and I knew exactly what I wanted, but it wasn't the right thing to do. It was an awful thought, and even worse to consider ignoring morals and doing what I wanted anyway.

After I was able to control my thoughts a little better, I looked up at those pretty blue eyes I'd grown to adore, and almost inaudibly said "Take me to my room?"

He nodded and stood up, then picked me up and carried me to my room. My heart raced, knowing what I wanted. My body almost ached from how tense I was, I didn't know what to do until a moment came when he laid me down on my mattress. He lingered for only a second before trying to leave. I grabbed his hand and sat up, I wondered what kind of sad, desperate look was splattered on my face. "Yeah?" He asked, though I think he knew what I was thinking.

I pulled on his hand harder to bring him closer and I sat up on my knees. I pulled him down to me, he held up his weight with one hand resting on the bed next to me, the other hand found its way to my face. His thumb grazed over my cheek a few times before I really couldn't control my own actions anymore. I kissed him, soft and shy at first, making sure he was okay with this. After I was sure this was something he really wanted too, I became more aggressive, making the kiss urgent and lightly biting his lip. I had a grip on his hair and tugged as I laid back in the bed, forcing him to crawl on top of me. My head was fogged in the best way and I couldn't find a fuck to give about anything else.

His hand travelled up my shirt and caressed my side, making me sigh. It was insane, how such a small gesture had me reeling. I could feel his muscles through his shirt and I had to find the confidence to just slip his leather jacket off of him. That was when I was slowly snapped into reality and the thoughts of how wrong this was came into my mind, even though everything about it felt so terribly right. I knew if I allowed it, this night would end much happier than it started, but I had to really think about if that was a good idea. I mean, of course it was a bad idea, but more so I had to consider how much I cared, and if I could handle the consequences.

My thoughts were cut short when I felt his lips travel down my neck and focus on my collar bone. I hadn't meant to, but I let out a small moan, surprising myself. His hand gripped my thigh and I thought I might die from how fast my heart was beating out of my chest. I noticed the sun begin to rise and dreaded the light. I almost hoped that the dark would cover the awful things I intended to do.

He unbuttoned my pants and just as he was about to slip them off, and sharp bang on the front door came and snapped us out of our guilty bliss. We stared at each other for a second and tried to catch our breath, I could feel my cheeks burn red and was silently wishing we hadn't stopped, though it was for the best and I knew it.

"The paperboy is early." I sighed, letting out a light laugh. He smiled at me and sat up, knowing our moment was over.

"Hungry?" He asked, looking a little exasperated himself. His lips were a little red from me kissing and biting them and I couldn't stop staring, loving this lusty, tired look on him.

"I should sleep." I smiled, knowing if I didn't get some sleep then I would have ended up sleeping the whole day away.

"Yeah. Ya should." He stood up and grabbed his jacket, looking a bit hesitant. "Well, if ya need me ya know where to find me."

I held back an inappropriate joke that very well could have restarted what we'd just, unwillingly, finished. "Thank you for coming to save me tonight."

"Don't worry 'bout it. Get some rest." He smiled and softly shut the door behind him as he left.

Although my heart swelled with this strange joy, I was left feeling.. Unsatisfied. I rolled over and shut my eyes, hoping to erase the image of the night I'd had by the river, and thankfully I didn't think as much about it because I was too busy replaying the more recent events in my head over and over..

But I thought this shit with Shane was done. I thought he was going to give up, but when the whole next day passed and Daryl never came home from work, I knew it was Shane's doing, and I had to find out what he was up to.