Dear God, I Left Her When I Found Her

Michelle, my girlfriend, had walked off right after Obsedian Citadel had finished playing. She probably was off to ambush Michelle, the kid.

"Brian," Matt greeted and sat next to me. "Was that that one Mexican chick's daughter up there? I heard she had gotten pregnant, but I had never believed it was yours."

"You should have." Was all I could choke out.

Matt leaned back and shrugged. "I had never seen her back at school after she started showing."

There was no way I could answer to that one. The only information I had gotten was that she had started to have complications. And it wouldn't surprise me if she decided to quit school to take care of the kid.

Everyone else could only stare at me. Jimmy looked over at me like he was about to say something, but he kept his mouth shut. I was about to scream. Maybe throw something, or just do anything destructive. Maybe I should get shit-faced drunk.

That would make me forget. Forget who I was and wake up in a cemetery. In that world I had no band, no kid, and no responsibility.

Zacky must have been thinking along the same lines because he grabbed my shoulder.

"No, man. That isn't the right way to deal with this. Drinking away the problem wont make it disappear. It'll still be there in the morning when worse than before because you were ignorant enough to take a luxury you don’t have." I hated it when he was right.

Just then Michelle, my girlfriend, walked back over to us.

"What did you do?" I asked her standing up from my seat.

She shook her head. "Let me drive us home and I'll explain there. You need some time to think so you don’t do something that you'll regret." She leaned in closer to me and ran her hand up my arm reassuringly. Just that little touch was enough to calm me down.

"Bye, guys." I told the band.

"Take care, man." Johnny said.

With that Michelle was leading me outside. Over on the other side of the parking lot I could see her. Michelle, the one I had sired, was hugging a boy. He looked a little older than her and I recognized him as the drummer.

I weird feeling that was a mixture of anger and suspicion fueled my blood. All I wanted to do then was go and punch the shit out of that drummer. And this was not good for my current mood.

Michelle, my girlfriend, pulled me into the car and we pulled out of Chain Reaction. As we got on the highway I rolled down the window to let the cool night wind hit my face.

My head became clearer and I realized that the drummer guy was probably comforting Michelle, the kid, because of me. I should have been the one talking to her, not my girlfriend. But the drummer still didn’t need to touch her like that, though.

"Michelle," I said after I had rolled up my window.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"What did you do to her, the girl?" I asked.

"I asked her if she knew about you. She knew your full name. She wondered why you hadn't tried to see her. So do, I for that matter." Michelle told me like she had prepared a list.

I guess Alejandra had told her a little about me. It was probably about right for both Michelles to wonder why I hadn't tried to see, or tell anyone about my daughter.

"I was only fifteen when she was born. I was way in over my head. I was scared, and I didn’t even believe I was a father until I went to the hospital to see her. Then when she was taken out of my arms… the pain that it to see her go was almost unbearable. I was only with her for maybe ten minutes. It only had taken ten minutes for me to devote all of my love to her."

Michelle had gone completely quiet. About twenty minutes later she managed to say something.

"She was psyching herself out about you. Saying that she didn’t need you because she was afraid you didn’t want to know her at all. It would definitely appear that way for you to ignore her for so long."

"I didn’t want to barge into her life. She was doing just fine without me. I don’t want to ruin that." I said.

"That’s what she said. Different words, though." Michelle then began to grin. "You two think alike." She laughed out loud suddenly. "Its gonna be hard with two Brian's around."

"Oh, thanks," I said rolling my eyes and giving her a playful shove. "its gonna be hard with two Michelle's around."

"Yeah, it will." Michelle agreed.

"How do you know she'll be around?" I asked.

Michelle pulled a piece of paper out of her jacket. It was the bright green flyer. I was starting to see a trend with that green paper. I unfolded it to see an address.

"This is her's?" I asked Michelle.

"Of course, I am the wonderful girlfriend that pulled through for you." Michelle stopped to look over at me and smile. "Do you wanna go see her tomorrow?"

"There's always a time to set things right." I said bracingly.

"You're gonna have to wake up early tomorrow." Michelle said and poked at my ribs. "Ha-ha."