Dear God, I Left Her When I Found Her

We neared my house and I started to get really shaky. I hoped that James wasn’t there yet. He wouldn’t take to Brain very well, or his career.

James would just complicate things profoundly. If only he would turn into a cricket for fifteen minutes. That way the only thing I would have to worry about is someone stepping on him.

Tanya clicked her cell phone shut ending her call to her older brother. W were nearing the middle of the street where my house was located. Once it was in sight, I cursed a million times in my head. Tanya cussed out loud, but Brian and Michelle were too distracted to notice.

I fished my car keys out of my pocket. “Here.” I said to Tanya as she took them from my hand.

Her and Michelle opened their doors and went to my car. When they had gone Brian turned the driver’s seat to look at me.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked.

I couldn’t have shaken my head harder. I had to go in there alone. There was still a chance that James didn’t know yet. I prayed to god that Molly hadn’t said anything. She was never the kind of person to keep a secret for very long.

I pushed myself out of the car and made my up the brick walk path.

“I’m back.” I announced while I shut the front door behind me. There was no immediate response. Good, James hadn’t noticed anything weird yet.

The TV in the living room blared the news where James would be. I could also hear Molly in the kitchen making dinner.

“Hey, sweetie,” Molly finally answered.

I followed her voice into the vast kitchen. She stood in front of the stove stirring in the large pot.

“Molly,” I started nervously.

“Hm?” she turned towards me.

My voice dropped to a whisper, even though I was sure that James couldn’t make out my words even if I were screaming. “Is it okay if I go over to Brian’s for the night?” I asked.

She paused, looking stricken.

“Tanya’s coming too, if your worried.” I said in a rush.

“Oh! Of course you can go!” Molly said and waved a wooden spoon threateningly at me. “Its not my place to tell you not to go to your father’s.”

“What about James?” I asked. My voice was a whisper again.

Molly’s blue eyes narrowed. “if that old grump dares to tell you otherwise..!” she trailed off and turned around to her pot. She grabbed a handful of chopped onions and dropped them into the mystery depths.

“You’ll poison him?” I finished for her.

“I would never do such a thing!” she tutted. “Well, if he cant’ get to sleep, then, maybe.”

“He’s pretty severe, though.” I said quietly, above my whisper.

“Yes, but he does care for you. He’s just too batty to express it.” she told me.

A shot of anger pulsed through me. All these years even when Micheal was around, Molly was the only one who seemed to care about me.

“He had no problem expressing it to Micheal.” My voice was full of venom and surprised me that it had come from my mouth. I instantly regretted the words. I would never hurt Molly in such a way.

Molly’s face fell and her eyes began to water. “True.”

We never spoke of Micheal. He’s dead and could never come back. His memory caused sadness in Molly, which I couldn’t bare, and violence and James.

“I’m gonna go get my stuff.” I said finally. I walked out of the kitchen.

I passed in front of James and the TV to get to the stairs. He ignored me as usual while I jumped them two at a time. I wished I wasn’t so paranoid. Its not like he had shark-likes senses where he could trace trouble a mile away. More specifically, Brian.

I walked by the first door and went to the second that was my room. The first door was Micheal’s old room. I had never felt guilty when I passed it, but tonight I did. It was wrong for me to think of him in that way. Blaming a dead but on his father’s bitterness; no matter how true it was.

I pushed my thoughts aside and began to gather Tanya’s and my things. I was sure I would forget something, but Tanya pretty much lived here. she’ll get it back eventually.

I leaped down the staircase again trying not to be so noisy. There was no need, James wasn’t in the living room anymore.

My palms got sweaty and I tried to reassure myself. Just because he’s not being a couch potato doesn’t mean he’s turned into a telepath and suddenly knew that Brian was here. He might just be in the kitchen bothering Molly, or eating.

I peered into the kitchen while I sprinted down the hallway. Molly was still in front of the pot watching something simmer. James wasn’t in there.

Before my brain had time to register this, I ran into someone near the door. That someone happened to be the person I didn’t want to piss off; just avoid.

Good new was, he didn’t turn ihis cold blue stare on me. Bad news ws he was looking out to the driveway where Brian’s car stood.

“Who’s that?” James asked. “The one in the black BMW?”

The frightened hamster if my head stated to leap on his wheel, forcing my mind think up a lie.

“Its Nathan’s older brother. He gave us a ride back from the beach.” I told him, holding my poker face.

Truth was that Nathan didn’t have an older brother. Just a horde of blond sisters, but James didn’t know that. What James did know was Tanya’s older brother didn’t even own a car, and that Damien living in a run down apartment in a trashy part of town that hosted Cops every night.

He nodded. “Are you going over to Tanya’s tonight?”

“Yes sir.” I told him as he let me pass by him and opened the door.

I sighed deeply. Yes, this was going right. But somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that something was going to go wrong.

I heard Molly’s footsteps in the hallway behind me. I turned to look back at her. She had probably come out to say good-bye.

“Oh, honey!” Molly exclaimed and hugged James. “I’m so happy that you understand!” Molly turned towards me and waved. “Have a nice time over at Brian’s!”

James’s collected facial features smoothed to shock. He stared over at me. More precisely, stared down at my stomach. Oh, god.

Suddenly James made a wild grab for me. I jumped back. I turned and made a dash for Brian’s black car. I pulled away from the house faster than I could have imagined.

Oh my Jesus! James thought I was pregnant!