Gold

"Jack! We have to be at the doctor's office in twenty!" Hayley shouted from her living room. I swear, she's the older sister I never asked for.

"Okay! I'll be there in a minute." I replied, but it sounded muffled since I was rinsing out my mouth from brushing my teeth.

I finished up and walked out, following Hayley out the door. I was still overly exited about today, but the nerves started kicking in the minute I got into the car. I really am excited about finally taking the big leap in transitioning, but the fact that I'm doing it in the city that most of my family lives in is what's making me panic. As much as I don't want to see my mom this entire break, I know that I will have to face her one day.

My parents were a huge part of my life growing up. They were always there for me if I needed anything, along with Zack. My life was just about perfect up until high school started. Zack and my mom started getting on my case about how I was 'changing' right in front of their eyes. My dad didn't really care much, fortunately, but my mom gave me a really hard time for it. She would literally throw high heels and dresses at me and my dad would have to calm her down. If she acted that insane when I was actually still identifying as a girl, imagine how psychotic she would go if she found out that she suddenly had a son that found girls hot.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't even notice my phone ring until Hayley poked my shoulder.

"Stop thinking about your mom and pick up the phone," Hayley commented while simultaneously focusing on the road. I hate how she knows exactly what i'm thinking. I can hear the bitterness in her voice when she said it as well. So she still hates both Zack and my mom. Nice.

I instantly answered my phone when I saw that it was Derek. I haven't talked to him since we both left our dorms yesterday morning. I already miss him a lot. I answered it with a smile on my face and looked over at Hayley, who rolled her eyes.

"You are so into him," She commented while continuing driving. She's not necessarily wrong.

"Derek?" I asked, seeing if he was here.

"Jack! Hey," He said back. I could basically hear his smile through the phone.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Oh, just waking up," He said, "Just wanted to talk to you before I start my day."

"Just make out already," Hayley mumbled to herself while eavesdropping. The phone wasn't even on speaker. Can she focus more on the road?

"That's sweet. When did you get home yesterday?" I asked.

"Around three, then I had to leave for a family trip in Virginia, so I didn't sleep until like 2 in the morning," He explained.

"Aw, you should get more sleep then." I said. Poor child couldn't even get a full night's rest.

"I would if my mom didn't wake me up so early. When did you and Nicole get home?" He asked, making me smile again. Nicole was Derek's pet name for Hayley (even though it's her actual middle name) because she resembles an annoying professor that works at our college, Mrs. Nicole, according to him. She actually doesn't, but she does get annoyed when Derek calls her that. It's pretty funny.

"That's not my name you idiot," Hayley mumbled again.

"We got home around five. We drove around town afterwards then went to sleep." I said.

"That's nice. What are you doing now?" He asked.

"Going to Dr. McKinnon, like I said I was going to. Hayley's driving and she's in a bad mood." I laughed while looking over at her.

"Shut up, I'm fine," Hayley said, loud enough for Derek to hear.

"I bet you are, Nicole," He said again, purposely annoying Hayley.

"Anyways, I hope everything goes well. I miss you." He said in a sad tone, making my heart swell. Hayley made an expression that looked like she was on the verge of puking.

"I miss you as well," I told him back. "We're here now, so I gotta go. I'll call you afterwards," I told him, waiting for a response.

"Okay, talk to you them," He said before I hung up. He's such a nice person. Hayley parked the car while rolling her eyes.

"You two need to date already. It was cute watching you two be awkward with each other at first, but now it's just getting annoying," Hayley said while grinning.

"I want us to date too; you're not the only one," I added.

"Then what are you waiting for?" She asked. I shrugged. I've never really been good with relationships. Not that my past ones were bad, but I've never really been in one. I was always so busy helping Zack out with his relationship problems, that I never had a chance to have my own. I did have a few crushes here and there, but they were all mostly girls, so I could only talk to Hayley about them. I'm pretty sure Hayley wouldn't have minded being my wingman either if most of the girls I fell for weren't already dating somebody.

Maybe that's why I don't wanna ask Derek out. I'm so inexperienced at stuff like this that maybe he wouldn't be too fond of that. I snapped out of my thought bubble when Hayley started talking again.

"Jack, as much as I hate Derek," She sarcastically said, "I can tell that you like him, and he likes you. Don't over stress how it's going to go. You and him both are smart enough to work through things and make sure everything's alright." She rubbed my arm in a reassuring manner. I sighed.

"I hate when you read my mind," I said.

"And I hate when you read mine," She said back, laughing a bit.

"I'm just so used to helping other people get with who they like, and never having the troubles of doing that myself, you know?" I vented to Hayley. She nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I get it. But it's finally your time to shine, and I'd be damned if you let a guy like Derek slip through your fingers." Hayley warned me. I couldn't help but laugh. I guess she is right about this finally being my moment.

"Okay, okay, fine. Next time I see him, I'll do it." I said to both her and myself. "I probably won't find someone as chill and accepting as him ever again," I shrugged. She gave an encouraging nod.

Derek knew that I was trans. It wasn't something I was planning on telling him; he actually kind of found out when Hayley was smart enough to ask me if I needed more tampons one day while I was on the phone with him in her dorm. He was perfectly fine with it, which shocked me a bit. We also came out to each other, admitting that we were both bi. I hated admitting that I was falling for him, but at the same time didn't mind it, which leads to the mess I have going on with him right now (even if he doesn't know about it).

"You sure you want to go in alone?" Hayley asked cautiously, switching the subject. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, It shouldn't take that long." I replied. She smiled.

"Okay, fine. You better tell me when the surgery gets scheduled as soon as you walk out that door, or else i'm going to kill you," Hayley reminded me. I sighed.

"Or I could just tell you the date when I get back in the car," I said while opening the car door.

"Or you could text me like I said so I can have the car ready and be happy and supportive as soon as you get back in the car." Hayley retorted. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll text you."

I got out of the car and started walking towards my destination. It didn't take too long to eventually get into Doctor McKinnon's office. I walked in on him sitting in his chair, writing on a clipboard. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Jack! Long time, no see," He said while smiling. The last time I saw him was for my testosterone treatment last summer. I would have come back and had more done that involved my transitioning, but My mom found out and things got ugly. Luckily I was still able to keep up with it over college with the help of Hayley.

"Yeah, college is wild," I commented, earning a laugh from Dr. McKinnon.

"I bet. So I'm assuming you're here to talk about getting top surgery, right?" He asked. I nodded.

"Uh, yeah. This won't take long, right?" I asked. I really wanted to go home and talk to Derek more. Plus, Doctor's offices creep me out.

"Not at all, just gonna talk to you about top surgery and how it's going to work, along with setting a date and making sure you're ready for it. This won't be longer than fifteen minutes," He explained. I was anxious as hell now. This was really happening. I nodded and mumbled a quick 'okay' before he got started.

For about seven minutes, he asked questions involving the transitions I already made and explained the different types of top surgeries. After three more minutes on deciding which one I'm getting along with the recovering methods, everything was set and signed. As anxious as I was getting, I was extremely excited. I've been waiting ages to get to this stage.

"Alright, you're set for June eighteenth at 7am, got it?" He asked. I nodded.

"Got it," I repeated. He was about to tell me goodbye, but He looked back at his clipboard in confusion. Oh god. What happened?

"Mr. Barakat...isn't the eighteenth your birthday?" He asked. I nodded.

"This would be a pretty sweet birthday present, so I don't mind that date." I said. He shrugged.

"Okay, I guess I'll see you then," He smiled. We exchanged a handshake before I told him goodbye and left his office.

I made sure the coast was clear before I started squealing and jumping. This was finally happening and there's no turning back. I've been waiting years for this, and the day is finally here. The day is actually on my birthday, but same difference. I remembered to text Hayley.

Jack: 'June 18 at 7pm.'

She specifically said tell her the date, so that's what I'm doing. I waited a few seconds before I got a message back.

Hayley: 'AWWW YOU'RE DOING ON YOUR BIRTHDAY YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT YOU'

I snorted, trying not to be too loud, since I was walking out to the car and people were around. Hayley already had the car running like she said she would, and I can see how happy she was through the window. I was engulfed into a hug the minute I got into the car. Typical Hayley. This was the same person who made us dinner last summer after I got my testosterone treatment because she was happy for me.

"I couldn't be happier for you! This time there's no idiots to stop you as well," Hayley said, and started driving. I laughed at her comment. I wouldn't consider them idiots, because they weren't. They're just full of ignorance and hopefully I can change that.

I told my dad I was coming home for summer break a few days ago, but I haven't talked to my mom since last August, and that didn't end well for me. My dad didn't really care about what I liked or what I identified as, which is why I keep in contact with him. It was my mom who was obsessed with her 'little girl' and had high hopes of me getting into a good college and marrying a good guy, basically being a mini-her. Not saying that I can't do those things, considering I am in a good college and marrying a good guy wouldn't be too bad, but the mini-her thing is what's bothering her. I can't be a mini version of her if i'm a guy.

"Jack, you're thinking of your mom again," Hayley said, once again slightly bitterly. I sighed.

"Sorry, I'm just agitated." I admitted. She scrunched her nose up in confusion.

"About what? She shouldn't even be a thought in your head." Hayley said. I sighed.

"She shouldn't, but I do want to go and talk to my dad before I get my surgery, which means talking to her as well." I said.

"Oh, right," She said, "When do you want to do that?" She asked, not sounding as bitter anymore. So she does have common sense.

"I don't know. Probably tomorrow or the day after." I answered. She nodded.

"I'll go with you. Well, if you want me to. Just know that your mom might end up in pieces if I d-"

"Yes, you can come. No, you're not touching my mom. Got it?" I asked. She sighed.

"Whatever."

I smiled at her and the rest of the drive home was us annoying each other like always. I'll finally be able to break the silence barrier between me and my mom, even if it does get ugly. At least it'll be more weight off of my shoulders, having the only weight left being Zack.