Home.

The word nervous couldn't even come close to describing the way that Mollie felt the entire day leading up to her "dinner" with Sidney.

She felt nauseas, anxious, and confused as to why she had even agreed to it in the first place since the moment she had woken up that morning.

The feeling only intensified when she received a message from an unknown number confirming their plans for the evening.

Mollie was internally chanting that it was only dinner but she knew deep down that this one dinner was like going down the rabbit hole and Wonderland was not waiting for her at the bottom.

After leaving her practice at 5:30 and arriving home 20 minutes later thanks to the lovely Pittsburgh traffic Mollie found herself standing in front of her closet in only her underwear. What does one wear to dinner with her ex-boyfriend? Especially when she has no clue what the plans for the evening entail.

After staring blankly at her wardrobe for a few minutes she fetched her phone from her nightstand and dialed the no longer unknown number. Before Sidney even had a chance to say hello Mollie questioned him, "Where are we going?"

"To dinner?" Sidney chuckled knowing that his answer would have Mollie rolling her eyes.

"Well what am I supposed to wear, Sid?"

She was at risk of sounding whiny at this point so he caved, "Wear jeans I don't care, we're not going anywhere upscale."

"That's all the information I'm getting isn't it?"

"Yup." Sidney said popping the 'p' as he spoke to which Mollie rolled her eyes reaching into her closet for a black sweater and some leather-ish leggings.

"If you pick me up wearing a suit I will kill you." Mollie told him as she walked into her bathroom with her newly chosen outfit slung over her shoulder.

"I can assure you I am not wearing a suit, now get ready I'll see you in an hour." The call ended and the woman took a good look at herself in the mirror. Her hair was still semi-straight from the morning rush and her makeup only needed minimal touchups.

As she stared at her reflection Mollie shook her head. "What are you doing, silly girl?"

Once she had wiggled her way into the skin tight leggings and traded her blouse for a comfy black sweater Mollie added lipstick a fresh coat of eyeliner, mascara, and a spritz of perfume. She took one last look in the mirror before exiting the room to find her black booties and the maroon pea coat she planned to wear to add a bit of color to her dark ensemble.

At 6:54 Mollie's doorbell rang instantly sending her nerves back into a frenzy. After a few deep breaths she mustered up enough courage to make her way to the door. Looking through the peephole she ensured that the person behind the door was Sid before opening it. As she pulled back the thick steel door déjà vu hit her once more.

"Hey, you look great." His voice brought her out of the trance she had gone off in and she smiled stepping back to allow Sidney into her loft.

"Thank you, it's nice to see you in something other than black and gold, too."

Sidney shrugged wearing a dark grey button up and black pants, turning his head he began looking around at the loft's modern open kitchen and living room, "Yeah, I get sick of seeing myself in it too sometimes."

As he continued to scan the room Mollie caught onto him, "Are you looking for something?"

"No, it, it just looks different in here is all." Sid admitted.

"Uhh, the couch is new? Pierce and his friends broke my old one while he lived here. But that's about it."

That wasn't "about it" a lot was actually missing from her new living room, and Sid could tell. Like all of the photos of she and Sidney that once lined the fireplace, and the memory pucks that were once stacked on the bookshelf in the corner between Medical Journals and Greys Anatomy box sets.

Speaking of that couch, Sidney turned now looking directly at the new one, where there had once sat a large mustard yellow sofa that Mollie had adored and centered her color scheme around now sat a grey sectional with an abundance of white pillows and blankets scattered about it.

Sidney took in the new furniture and nodded his head defeated, "That's probably it. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, lets get out of here I'm starved." Which was a lie, she wasn't hungry at all, in fact she hadn't been hungry all day! Her stomach was too alive with butterflies and doing nervous flips to process any food.

After Mollie locked her apartment door they made their way outside of the Heinz Lofts building to the curb where Sidney had left his car. He unlocked the doors and reached out opening the passenger's side for Mollie to climb in. As she settled into the leather seats she took a deep cleansing breath, only to have her nostrils flooded with the familiar scent of Sid's cologne.

Driving down the street in silence Mollie watched out the window as Sidney watched her from the corner of his eye. Truthfully they were both nervous but neither would let the other know of it. As he drove further into the city's heart Mollie finally asked, "So are you going to tell me where we're eating?"

Sidney with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the car door shook his head, "No."

"Sid come on, just a hint?"

"It's a number." Sidney smiled to himself thinking that she'd never guess one of his favorite restaurants that had opened while she was away.

But what he didn't know was that she'd visited her city without his knowledge quite a few times.

"Eleven?" She questioned and he was stunned.

Accepting defeat Sidney nodded, "So much for that surprise. Have you been?"

"Yeah, Nat took me there once. It's delicious, bit of a hidden gem."

Of course the Lemieux's would have something to do with this, after all they were embedded in everything that was Sidney and Mollie.

Minutes later they arrived at the restaurant and before he could even get around to her side of the car Mollie was out and trying to straighten out her pants. They walked towards the front door with a small distance between them until they were inside where all eyes were suddenly on them.

She heard the whispers and it all came back to her.

This was how she'd spent well more than 2 years of her life. Every time she stepped out in public with the Captain of the Pens people talked, people pointed, and people took pictures.

Immune to it all Sidney moved through the crowd to the hostess stand as Mollie hung back. Without so much as 5 words to the blonde behind the desk they were quickly on their way to a table upstairs where they wouldn't be bothered.

Turning back to make sure Mollie was following Sidney saw the nervous look on her face. He held out his hand towards her, she looked down at it for a second before taking ahold of it and allowing him to pull her in front of him, protecting her as he always had before.

They followed their waiter up the short flight of stairs to the private room, Sidney right behind Mollie his hand on her back ensuring that she didn't fall in her heels as they climbed. Upstairs the lights were dimmer and more candles set the "mood", their table was towards the back of the room while a few others dined about the vast space.

Ever a gentleman, when Mollie let him be one, Sidney pulled out her chair waiting until she was seated before pushing her in and taking a seat across from her. As they stared at one another their waiter reappeared with two wine glasses and a bottle of red. "Compliments of the chef, he also says Congrats on last night's win."

Sidney smiled and thanked the man who poured them both glasses before leaving them to peruse their menus. As Mollie looked the menu up and down she also peered over the top to look at the man across from her. He had his eyes glued to his own menu giving her leeway to notice the way his lips were twisting in thought and the broadness of his shoulders in the button up he was wearing.

"So, what are you thinking?" Sidney asked startling her as she was zoned out on his face.

On the spot Mollie rattled off the first thing she had seen on the menu, "Uhh, salmon. I'm thinking, salmon."

"Are you okay?"

Taking a sip of her wine Mollie played it cool, "Yeah, I'm fine. So, that game last night was something. Really put the hurting on Dallas."

"Yeah it was a good win, wait did you watch it?" As he questioned her Mollie gnawed on her bottom lip. Was it time she admit that she watched almost all of his games?

"Yeah," Mollie dragged out, "I tend to watch quite a few of your games, actually."

The smile on Sidney's face was huge and just one look at it had the butterflies flapping back around in Mollie's stomach. "Can take the girl out of Pittsburgh, can't take the Pittsburgh out of the girl?"

"Exactly." Mollie returned a grin now on her face as their waiter returned to take their orders, Salmon for her and some sort of chicken for Sid.

With no menus to distract them the two stared at each other for a minute giving each other awkward smiles before Mollie finally caved.

"Sid we can't sit here in silence it's making things worse."

He nodded, "Okay, yeah you're right. So, the practice? Big move, eh."

"Yeah, from working in the ER to private practice it was a huge adjustment."

"Hopkins, was it um, was it everything you dreamed of?" Mollie's grip on her glass of water tightened, how long would Hopkins cause tension between the two of them? Noticing the look on her face Sidney spoke before Mollie could fathom a response, "I really meant that, Molls. I'm not trying to start anything. Did you learn everything you wanted to?"

Letting out a breath of relief she nodded her head, "Yes. It was amazing, the doctors are all incredible and the work they do is just, I don't know how to describe it. I just felt like I was really making a difference. The cases are just so serious that you just know you're helping."

"Good." Sidney simply said smiling over at her, "And for what it's worth, after it all and I know that you might not believe me but, Mollie I am really glad that you went."

"Thank you. And I do believe you, Sid. Really, it's been so long and it's not just your fault I could have heard you out more, it was both of-."

He started waving his hand around shaking his head side to side as she spoke, "Mollie, no. It was your dream and I had no right to say what I said. I should have been supportive, and I sure as hell should have went after you."

Mollie's chest suddenly felt tight, were all of their conversations going to drift back to that night?

Was it possible to just build a bridge? It had been years, while she was still a smidge remorseful, and a tad bitter was she still mad at him for not coming after her? No, not really.

Before she could really rebut their waiter appeared with plates of delicious food and their current topic was way too serious to discuss while eating so the conversation was dropped.

Chasing the fish around her plate Mollie's head spun with other thoughts.

"I should just tell him I forgive him."

"Mollie, you love him, you know you do."

"Has he changed? I've changed, does he even see that?"

"You're adults, act like an adult Mollie."

Still in her head Mollie didn't hear as Sidney began saying her name over and over resorting to waving his hand in front of her face. "Mollie, hey you in there?"

"Huh? What?" she jumped back a bit as she came back out of the fog of thoughts.

"I just asked how your fish was, are you okay? You were definitely not here for a minute." His face was full of concern but Mollie waved him off.

"Oh no, I'm good and it's great. Lemony? But I like it."

"You sure you're okay?"

This time Mollie couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness, "Sidney I am fine, I was just thinking. Too hard I guess."

"You used to do that a lot, especially when you were studying. I would have full conversations with you and you didn't even notice."

Mollie's cheeks pinked up as she remembered those times, laying in bed Sidney watching game film and her studying. She would have no clue who the Penguins were playing or what Sidney was saying, she only knew that occasionally she'd look up and his lips would be moving. "I'm pretty good at zoning out."

"It's more like you're pretty good at tuning me out, I think." Sidney winked at her as he picked up his glass and Mollie rolled her eyes.

"Don't get too excited, I do it to a lot of people not just you."

Their plates were soon cleared and with the clock reading 8:30 Mollie began to yawn, opening the practice at 8 usually had her in bed before 11 at the latest.

"Do you work every day?" Sidney asked as they waited for the check.

She shook her head, "Monday through Wednesday, 8-5, extended hours on most Thursdays, so I can be off on Fridays."

"That's a fair trade I guess." Mollie shrugged her shoulders, it wasn't too bad considering she was used to working 24 hour shifts as a resident.

"Any plans for coming to a game soon?" he continued to poke as he handed his black credit card to the waiter.

"Well, I do have season tickets."

"So? Friday?" Sidney leaned back in his chair his eyebrows up in question.

"Pierce and I may be in attendance." Mollie countered knowing her little brother who was in his first year of residency these days was excited to have the night off for a Pens game.

Mollie silently watched as Sidney scribbled his name onto the receipt and thanked the waiter one last time before giving her his comeback. "Well at least one of the Holden's will be wearing the right number. Pierce is superstitious, has to wear that old Stanley Cup jersey I gave him."

Mollie rolled her eyes, that jersey was worth way too much to be worn around in public but Pierce didn't care and had worn it to every Penguins game he had been to since 2009. "Who says they both won't be?"

At that she was sure Sid's eyes were going to fly out of his head. Was she really going to wear his jersey? The one that had literally been sitting in a box in her parents basement for two years?

Maybe. He'd have to wait to find out.

"Are you serious?"

"I don't know Sid, am I?"

He shook his head and began to stand up, "You drive me crazy, squirt."

Mollie scoffed as she took his outstretched hand, "That will never be funny, I can't help my height."

"I'll stop if you stop calling me Squid?" His face was serious but deep inside he never wanted her to stop calling him that. No matter how dumb it was it kept them tied together somehow.

"Never." Mollie flatly stated as they walked down the stairs, Sidney's hand resting lightly on her back. Just before they reached the landing Mollie inhaled and exhaled loudly preparing herself for the people waiting to catch a glimpse of Captain Crosby.

Noting her change in demeanor the hand on Mollie's hip tightened, "I've got you, we'll walk fast okay."

She nodded and let him in front of her, grabbing onto one of his hands she allowed him to lead them quickly through the front of the restaurant. Once they hit the concrete outside a gust of cold air hit them and they both let out sighs of relief.

"I for one, have NOT missed that." Mollie let out as they stood in the dimly lit area collecting themselves.

Sidney's face fell as he scratched his head, "Yeah sorry. If it makes you feel any better, it's only that bad when you're with me."

"What, your other dates don't draw as much attention?" Mollie laughed as they started walking towards Sidney's car.

"I wouldn't know, there haven't been that many."

Mollie felt like she'd been tackled by the entire Steelers offensive line. Had he just admitted that he hadn't dated much while she was gone? Right there in a damn parking lot. "Excuse me?"

With a shy smirk on his face Sidney leaned against his vehicle, "I haven't really taken anyone else out like this since, y'know, you left me."

"left me" that phrase drove Mollie insane.

It had been on every website in sports, the Pittsburgh area, magazines and newspapers, everyone said that Mollie had left Sidney. And who in their right mind does that?

Well, what they didn't know was the truth.

And the truth hurts.

At his confession Mollie covered her mouth and turned her back to him walking in circles trying to process things. In 2 years not a single girlfriend? Mollie knew he wasn't that great at dating, because she had been the only girl he'd ever really dated but never in her wildest dreams did she think he'd be this bad.

Still walking Sidney called out to her, "Can you please just say something?"

Mollie turned back and walked closer to him, asking him one word, "Why?"

"Because none of them were you."

She stared at him blankly, her eyes were now glossed over, her mouth was hanging open like a damn fish out of water and her brain couldn't form a coherent sentence if the world depended on it. Sidney stared back at her watching her eyes blink but nothing else was moving.

It was like she was frozen, both metaphorically and maybe literally as it was freezing as they stood in that parking lot. "Come on, you can be shell shocked in the car, it's freezing out here."

Reaching out he grabbed her elbow leading her over to the passenger's side, without a word she climbed in and settled into the seat. Continuing to stare blankly out the windshield Mollie was in a trance, his words had broken her.

The drive back to her loft was silent. No radio, no talking, just the sound of their breathing and the occasional bump in the road or siren. Once the car was in park outside the large brick building Sidney looked over at Mollie, in the street lights he noticed that her green eyes were watery.

If she started to cry he couldn't handle it.

Her tears were his kryptonite.

"Mols?" surprisingly she turned at the sound of his voice, "Hey, I'm sorry I told you that. I, it just came out."

She pushed her hand through her hair, "No, it's, I, uhh" she stumbled and closed her eyes, "It's nice to know. And uh, thanks for tonight?"

Sidney nodded as she reached for the door handle, "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Her stomach tightened at his words. She knew where he was going and she wanted to lie to him so badly. She wanted to tell him it was like Grey's Anatomy at Hopkins', that she was sleeping with hot doctors left and right.

But that would all be a lie.

Mollie had only had one single "boyfriend" the entire two years she was in Maryland. His name was Jonah, and he was an attending doing a fellowship in pediatric trauma.

He had met her parents a few times but Mollie did not consider them to be serious at all.

Jonah did not matter.

But Sidney deserved to know the truth.

So with her lips pursed she continued to push open the door as a quick exit from the situation that was brewing.

Turning back to face him one last time Mollie didn't even give him a chance to ask, she told him, "Nothing serious, I dated someone but it wasn't for long."

She could hear the air leaving his lungs, and the surprised look appeared on his face as she admitted that there had been someone else. "Oh, okay."

Climbing out Mollie put both of her feet on the ground before looking back in the car, "I'll see you Friday?"

Sidney nodded and gave her a weak smile "Looking forward to it."

Mollie slammed the door feeling a little lighter, she hasn't been hiding Jonah from anyone. But telling Sidney made her feel like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. He knew now and maybe that would help them move on.

Or just move forward.