Our Life Is Just a TV Show

A few days later I was supposed to get my period. But I didn’t. Jeni figured it was from the stress but I was really scared that I was pregnant. I mean me and Bill had been getting less careful, cause we were planning to get married and have kids. But still not anytime soon, a few years maybe.

Bill hadn’t talked to me since a few days before and I desperately needed to know if he had calmed down a bit and would forgive me.

I went out to eat with Bea that day, who was down for the Thanksgiving holiday to visit Gustav. The band had got an apartment here in New York. It was like their American base. Plus since Bea was with Gustav and Jeni was with Georg it was easier that way.

“So how is he?” I asked as we sat down at our table at a little café.

“He really hasn’t come out of his room. I hope he’s just thinking and figuring that it wasn’t your fault. God it’s not like your pregnant with Tom’s baby,” she sighed and looked over the menu indifferently.

“But its cheating Bea. I cheated on him.”

“Well if he’s not with you he’s not happy. If he’s not happy then the band suffers. It already is losing popularity. Tara the guys are gonna want to settle down soon. They’re not in their prime like two years ago,” she explained.

“But they’ve only been in America for a year,” I argued.

“Yes but they’ve been in Europe for what five years.”

"Yeah....what are you saying, that the band is gonna split up?"

"I don't know."

"They're still young though. Tom and Bill just turned twenty," God I couldn't say his name without sqwirming.

She shrugged. "You can't stay a star forever."

"Tokio Hotel can, and they will." All I was wishing right then and there was to go back to two years ago, a complete fangirl and having nothing at all to do with Bill.

"Bill still loves you Tara. He's just hurting right now."

I sighed. "I still love him with my whole heart Bea," I whispered. "I just don't think he'll forgive me. Things between us won't be the same even if he does."

"Tom's been talking to him a lot. Things can be fixed."

I was really really afraid that they couldn't be. Things would be so different if he did forgive me.

And I guess Bill figured that to.........