Our Life Is Just a TV Show
till you believe it.
Bea forced me to come back to Tok’s apartment after lunch. I just wish I hadn’t gone.
Tom and Gustav were sitting in the living room eating some pizza. Georg had gone out with Jeni or something like that.
“How is he?” I asked quietly, knowing his room was close and not wanting him to know I was there.
“He’s been in there the whole day,” Tom sighed and turned the TV off.
“So pretty bad then?” I sighed and sunk down into the couch. Ugh my stomach was killing me. Thank God then I’d be getting my period soon.
“Maybe you should go in there Tara,” Bea suggested.
I shot her a glare.
“Yeah sorry, not my best idea.”
“Have you tried to talk to him?” I asked Tom.
“Yeah he won’t listen though. He pretends to be asleep when I come in there at night too since we share a room,” he looked at me funny. God I still couldn’t believe I’d slept with him.
“Gussi you should talk to him,” Bea sat next to him and started doing that eye rape stare. Not the creepy way, cause they were a couple.
He shrugged. “Why would it work for me?”
“Cause you’re sensitive and caring and can make anyone understand,” Bea whispered seductively. I rolled my eyes. Old Bea.
“Fine,” he got up and walked right into Bill’s room, not even bothering to knock.
A few seconds later…
“Hey guys call like 911 or something. I don’t think Bill is doing to well….” Gustav called.
“What?!” I shot up but Bea held me back from going in the room while Tom dialed 911.
“He’s unconscious,” Gustav called and came out carrying Bill a moment later. Oh my God that fragile body limp in his arms I just couldn’t stop crying.
“What happened to him?” I asked Bea trying to stop my tears. What if he was really hurt, what if he was gonna die? Oh my God what if he was gonna die?!
Gustav went back into his room and came out with a nearly empty bottle of anti-depressants.
“Oh my God,” I buried my face in my hands and threw myself on the couch. “No no no.”
This had to be because of me. God no…
The paramedics came soon and Tom dragged me along with him even though I was so scared to see Bill unconscious like this. I was crying so much my eyes were blurry and I couldn’t see.
Everything was spinning and going fast but Tom helped me into the ambulance. They were putting that breathing thing on Bill and I was holding his hand tight. I wasn’t gonna let him go, no he couldn’t leave me.
“We need to pump his stomach if he took all those pills,” the paramedic told us and I nearly fainted into Tom’s arms.
They were asking us all these questions, who he was to us and some shit that I didn’t even remember.
We were at the hospital soon and they rolled Bill into the ER and had me and Tom wait outside in the little waiting room.
“Stop crying Tara it doesn’t solve anything,” Tom said angrily.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered and wiped the tears that still spilled down my face.
There was an elderly woman there too and a girl in her twenties holding a little girl. God we wouldn’t have even been there if weren’t for me. Everything was always my fault.
I sat there, my head pounding again in that constant headache, for about an hour until the doctor came out.
Oh God he had a sad look on his face. “We’re losing him…but he’s conscious and he’s calling for Tara.”
Bill knew I would be there waiting for him. I hoped he would forgive me. Oh God he said they were losing him.
I slowly got up from my chair and walking with him into the room. There were tons of doctors and nurses and I had to hold myself back for a moment cause Bill had one of those breathing machines on him to help him breathe.
His eyes were slightly open, and I saw a little smile on his face when I came closer.
“Oh God Bill I’m so sorry,” I hoped he understood me through my tears. I just couldn’t stop when he was before me like this.
“It’s okay Tara, I’ll be okay,” he said softly. It was hard for him to breathe, let alone talk. “I’m sorry too…”
“I love you Bill,” I sobbed and came in closer to him. I could still see those beautiful brown eyes through that thing on his face. They were full of tears.
“I love you Tara,” he mumbled, but I could hear it. His eyes were closing slowly.
“He’s becoming more stable,” I heard one doctor say behind me.
“Thank God,” I whispered and held Bill’s warm hand.
“We’re gonna move him up to regular beds and he’ll be able to leave in a few days,” they explained and started moving the equipment and his bed.
I went out to wait until they allowed us in his room with Tom again and when it was done we went up.
Neither of us wanted to leave him. His breathing was raspy and I was gonna stay and make sure he was okay all night.
And yes I did stay up all night to watch the steady rise and fall of his chest to make sure he was breathing. I sat beside his bed and held his warm hand in mine.
“I almost lost you,” I whispered at around three in the morning. I knew he wasn’t awake but I didn’t care. “I love you Bill and I never meant to hurt you.”
God this was so reminiscent of what had happened in Rome. Him with the little betrayal and me with my little attempts to hurt myself. Now with the big betrayal there was practically a suicide attempt. God the gossipers would go crazy over this one. TMZ would be going crazy.
Tom and Gustav were sitting in the living room eating some pizza. Georg had gone out with Jeni or something like that.
“How is he?” I asked quietly, knowing his room was close and not wanting him to know I was there.
“He’s been in there the whole day,” Tom sighed and turned the TV off.
“So pretty bad then?” I sighed and sunk down into the couch. Ugh my stomach was killing me. Thank God then I’d be getting my period soon.
“Maybe you should go in there Tara,” Bea suggested.
I shot her a glare.
“Yeah sorry, not my best idea.”
“Have you tried to talk to him?” I asked Tom.
“Yeah he won’t listen though. He pretends to be asleep when I come in there at night too since we share a room,” he looked at me funny. God I still couldn’t believe I’d slept with him.
“Gussi you should talk to him,” Bea sat next to him and started doing that eye rape stare. Not the creepy way, cause they were a couple.
He shrugged. “Why would it work for me?”
“Cause you’re sensitive and caring and can make anyone understand,” Bea whispered seductively. I rolled my eyes. Old Bea.
“Fine,” he got up and walked right into Bill’s room, not even bothering to knock.
A few seconds later…
“Hey guys call like 911 or something. I don’t think Bill is doing to well….” Gustav called.
“What?!” I shot up but Bea held me back from going in the room while Tom dialed 911.
“He’s unconscious,” Gustav called and came out carrying Bill a moment later. Oh my God that fragile body limp in his arms I just couldn’t stop crying.
“What happened to him?” I asked Bea trying to stop my tears. What if he was really hurt, what if he was gonna die? Oh my God what if he was gonna die?!
Gustav went back into his room and came out with a nearly empty bottle of anti-depressants.
“Oh my God,” I buried my face in my hands and threw myself on the couch. “No no no.”
This had to be because of me. God no…
The paramedics came soon and Tom dragged me along with him even though I was so scared to see Bill unconscious like this. I was crying so much my eyes were blurry and I couldn’t see.
Everything was spinning and going fast but Tom helped me into the ambulance. They were putting that breathing thing on Bill and I was holding his hand tight. I wasn’t gonna let him go, no he couldn’t leave me.
“We need to pump his stomach if he took all those pills,” the paramedic told us and I nearly fainted into Tom’s arms.
They were asking us all these questions, who he was to us and some shit that I didn’t even remember.
We were at the hospital soon and they rolled Bill into the ER and had me and Tom wait outside in the little waiting room.
“Stop crying Tara it doesn’t solve anything,” Tom said angrily.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered and wiped the tears that still spilled down my face.
There was an elderly woman there too and a girl in her twenties holding a little girl. God we wouldn’t have even been there if weren’t for me. Everything was always my fault.
I sat there, my head pounding again in that constant headache, for about an hour until the doctor came out.
Oh God he had a sad look on his face. “We’re losing him…but he’s conscious and he’s calling for Tara.”
Bill knew I would be there waiting for him. I hoped he would forgive me. Oh God he said they were losing him.
I slowly got up from my chair and walking with him into the room. There were tons of doctors and nurses and I had to hold myself back for a moment cause Bill had one of those breathing machines on him to help him breathe.
His eyes were slightly open, and I saw a little smile on his face when I came closer.
“Oh God Bill I’m so sorry,” I hoped he understood me through my tears. I just couldn’t stop when he was before me like this.
“It’s okay Tara, I’ll be okay,” he said softly. It was hard for him to breathe, let alone talk. “I’m sorry too…”
“I love you Bill,” I sobbed and came in closer to him. I could still see those beautiful brown eyes through that thing on his face. They were full of tears.
“I love you Tara,” he mumbled, but I could hear it. His eyes were closing slowly.
“He’s becoming more stable,” I heard one doctor say behind me.
“Thank God,” I whispered and held Bill’s warm hand.
“We’re gonna move him up to regular beds and he’ll be able to leave in a few days,” they explained and started moving the equipment and his bed.
I went out to wait until they allowed us in his room with Tom again and when it was done we went up.
Neither of us wanted to leave him. His breathing was raspy and I was gonna stay and make sure he was okay all night.
And yes I did stay up all night to watch the steady rise and fall of his chest to make sure he was breathing. I sat beside his bed and held his warm hand in mine.
“I almost lost you,” I whispered at around three in the morning. I knew he wasn’t awake but I didn’t care. “I love you Bill and I never meant to hurt you.”
God this was so reminiscent of what had happened in Rome. Him with the little betrayal and me with my little attempts to hurt myself. Now with the big betrayal there was practically a suicide attempt. God the gossipers would go crazy over this one. TMZ would be going crazy.