Our Life Is Just a TV Show

The next day they let him out of the hospital. He was doing better, and could eat on his own now, so thank God they let him come home.

I’d spent those last two days wide awake and without a shower. As soon as we brought him back to Tokio Hotel’s apartment I just crashed on their couch. I was so freaking tired of all of this.

And when I woke up I felt like I had a hangover. My head was killing me and I was puking my brains out.

Bea came in to see if I was okay. “Well this was sure a fun Thanksgiving.”

“When are you leaving?” I asked.

“Tomorrow. I can’t skip anymore school. But I’ll be back here Christmas,” she explained.

“I’m going back home to Wilmette then. I’ll probably take Bill back with me so my family can meet him.” I rubbed my aching head.

“Maybe I should have Gussi come back home with me. I haven’t been home in awhile. You need some more aspirin?” Bea started digging through her purse.

“Yeah I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Bill was asking about you but Tom won’t let him out of bed yet,” Bea explained and handed me two Advils.

“My stomach is killing me,” hmm…my stomach. Maybe I finally got my period.

“Is it that time of the month again?” Bea asked me knowing me.

“I sure hope it is. I was supposed to get it like four days ago.”

Bea looked at me a little weird and then said, “It happens when your stressed hun, don’t worry.”

Ugh I felt like shit the whole rest of the day and spent most of my time in the bathroom. I didn’t feel like going back to work the next day.

Thank God it would be slow, we just sent in the last of our winter junk and won’t have to start spring stuff for a good month or so. In the slow months we just did whatever we wanted, nothing was professional at all.

Uh but tomorrow school was starting up again. Thank God this thing was only for two years. When summer started I never had to go back. Good I hated fashion school, it was nothing like regular school.

Bill was practically put on bed rest by Tom and I just put myself in the bathroom all day so we talked in texts.

‘i wuv you billy.’

‘i wuv you too tara. please don’t drift away from me…’

‘oh bill i won’t. i swear, nothing like that again.’

‘okay, good. r u okay in there, u haven’t been out like all day’

‘yeah my stomach and my head are killing me. feels like a hangover but its not.’

‘=[ that sucks’

‘well r u okay? can u eat?’

‘yeah tom’s been giving me some food and i’ll eat it but i’m not really hungry.’

‘texting is hurting my eyes babe, making me feel worse i’m sorry.’

‘its okay we’ll talk later when you feel better.’

‘if that ever happens =[’

‘u’ll be okay.’

But I was really really sick for like a week and a half. Scott sent me home like half the week cause I was just way too sick to do anything. I looked terrible and couldn’t meet with any clients either.

“You go home, get better, and work on some spring designs if you can,” Scott instructed me and sent me out the door.

I refused to go and he gave me a twenty. “Go get a cab if you’re too sick to drive.”

“I love you Scott,” I walked out of the office and grabbed a cab. I would make Georg pick my car up later.

I just laid in bed for hours upon hours with a bucket beside my bed in case I got sick again.

‘make georg get my car,’ I texted Jeni. She wasn’t home so she must be over at Tok’s apartment. Her and Georg were getting closer, but they weren’t bf/gf yet.

‘where is it, and where are you?’

‘its at the office. i’m at home cuz i’m still sick.’

‘is it okay if bill comes over, he wants to no. he’ll take ur car.’

‘sure he can come.’

Bill was over in like a half hour with some of that really good Tazo tea from Starbucks.

“I thought it would help,” he said as he handed it to me.

“Come here and hold me. Then I’ll feel better,” I pulled him onto my bed and took a sip of my tea.

Ah he was warm and it was comforting to feel him hold me again. He’d been doing much better and was back to his old self again.

“I almost got raped by fangirls on the way over,” he sighed.

“Well TH is still big then,” I replied.

“I really don’t know what’s gonna happen to the band when we’re married.”

“You can’t let the fans down. You just leave me at home here while you go record a new album, easy as that.”

“Well the band will take a little break for awhile. Especially when we have kids,” he smiled and held me tight.

“Aren’t we gonna wait a few years for kids?” I asked.

“Why wait?”

“We’ll see what happens,” ugh my stomach was killing me again.

“You okay?” Bill noticed I was in pain and let me go.

“I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Bill got off the bed and gave me his hand.

“What?”

“We’re going to the doctor. You’ve been sick for awhile and aren’t getting better,” he pulled me off the bed and I had no choice.

Bill POV

It’d been waiting her in this waiting room of the doctor’s office for like a half hour.

With Tara so sick I needed to take her to get some help, there was just this feeling about all of this and I felt taking her to the doctor was right.

I hoped she was okay, she sure had been in there for long.

My mind started racing. What if something was wrong with her, like terribly wrong? God I would blame myself for not getting her help earlier.

There was a guy there, probably in his mid-twenties, holding a little boy who I took to be his son.

It made me smile. I wanted a little boy, and who cared if I was young and a superstar.

“Bill!” I could hear a fangirl squeal and looked over to my left. Of course, a girl of about fifteen with a huge smile on her face.

She motioned to her mom as they were standing at the front. “O-M-G mom it’s Bill Kaulitz gimme a pen I needed an autograph.”

I smiled. I lived off of all these adoring fans. The fans and Tara were the only two things that kept me living.

The girl conveniently had a picture of me with her and I signed it.

“I love you sooooooo much!!!! Tell Tom I love him too!!!!!!” she squealed and then snapped a pic of me with her cell. Hmm I wasn’t looking too good, that would be up on Photobucket soon I was sure.

Ah the fangirls. Annoying at times but nonetheless they were our fans.

And Tara had been the biggest one. Now that she had me there was no reason to be all obsessed.

I saw Tara standing at the door, she motioned me in. She was still looking pretty pale.

“The doctor wanted to tell you too,” she whispered as I came in to join her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know I was waiting to hear with you,” she grabbed my hand tight. “I hope its nothing bad.”

The doctor came into the back room where we were and smiled.

“It’s nothing bad, of course, in case you consider having a child a burden,” the doctor let the news out.

“Oh my God,” Tara’s hand flew to her mouth and I was just so happy I felt like crying. A baby…me and Tara. I jumped up and threw my arms around her. She was crying, happy tears of course.

“We’ll be married beginning of next year,” I whispered in her ear and held her close to me. There was no doubt in my mind that this child wasn’t mine. Tom had told me they’d used protection, and the timing wasn’t right for this to be Tom’s baby anyway.

It was ours…mine and Tara’s. Our baby.