The Cumber-Cover-Up
Tom Hiddleston
“There must have been pictures, right?” Ben asked again. He began searching through his phone. “No, this was before selfies were popular, I don’t have any.”
Lila shrugged. She wasn’t sure why he would want a picture. They had both been ridiculously pale and not prepared to go swimming. She’d only brought a bathing suit because she thought she might have some down time waiting for Ben to finish up his interviews, and could possibly hit the hotel pool. Since this was the case, Lila hadn’t brought her best bathing suit. It was old, from high school, and not very elasticy anymore, so she didn’t care if the chlorine in the pool ruined it.
Ben wanted to go on all the fast waterslides, but Lila was a little more conservative and stuck to the smaller ones. She didn’t want to tell him it was because she was worried her bathing suit would come off, that was a little embarrassing for her to talk about. Lila and Ben hadn’t really known each other that long and weren’t as close, so even mentioning her possible bathing suit malfunctions was out of the question.
There was one slide that didn’t have a rating on it, but it didn’t look too fast. It was the kind you could go on alone, or with a couple people. There were mostly families waiting in line, so Lila figured it wasn’t too scary.
“Let’s do this one,” Ben pointed to it and pleaded with a smile.
Lila scrunched up her nose and squinted. “I don’t know, it looks pretty tall.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun! It’s the only one I haven’t done and I want to do them all.”
“You can go on it alone.”
“No, that’s lame. Besides, it says it’s more fun with more people, you can go faster.”
Lila shrugged. “I don’t really want to go fast.”
“It’s not that fast if it’s just us. I mean, you’re like…. 100lbs or something, and I’m obviously a twig.”
Lila blushed. “Complimenting me won’t get anywhere, especially when you overly lie about my weight. You’re off by about 25.”
“You weigh 75lbs?!” Ben asked with mock surprise and grinned. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”
Lila bit her lip and looked over the ride one more time.
“Last one of the day, then we can go home, okay?” He pleaded again.
Resigned, Lila sighed. It did look fun, and maybe if she held onto her bathing suit it wouldn’t come off. “Okay, let’s do this!”
As they got closer to the front of line, she saw that it was actually a little bit higher and faster than she expected, and began to worry.
“Hey Ben, would you mind sitting in front?” She asked, but didn’t want to explain it was so if her top came off she wouldn’t accidentally flash everyone.
“No you should sit in front. I can see right over your head, and I’d be blocking your view. Besides, the sign says the smaller person should go in front,” he smirked and pointed to the safety warning sign above them.
“Oh,” Lila sighed as she read it over. “Okay.”
At the top, they were helped into a two person tube before being shoved down the slide. It was slow at first and Lila relaxed at first.
“See, this isn’t scary at all!” Ben said behind her.
Turn after turn, it was a slow descent. Until they went into a closed section and it became dark. It sped up a little until suddenly there was a drop. Lila’s hands flew to her bathing suit top to make sure it stayed on, just as the slide opened up. She screamed, and there was a flash-
A flash? There was a picture!!!
***
“Ben!” She put her hand on his arm and he stopped scrolling through pictures. “The picture from that big water slide! They took a picture as we went down the steepest spot!”
His face lit up and his eyes got huge and bright. “Yes! I remember that!”
They excitedly began searching the computer for old pictures, and luckily Lila had the sense to chronologize all of her photos into neatly labeled folders. It didn’t take long to find the picture in question: Lila was in front, wearing that ugly bathing suit, mouth open mid-scream, and clutching her breasts.
They burst out laughing at the sight of it and Lila blushed. They sure did have a lot of fun memories, but all of them were overshadowed by the current task at hand: what to do with Sophie Hunter. She wasn’t really the problem, though, it was the people who had put them in it in the first place. The same people who believed Lila when she had told them could ride a horse, and then asked her to instruct Ben on his new role in a movie about a horse.
‘Warhorse’ was an interesting experience for Lila. It was her first time on a film set, and that was totally new and strange and weird and slightly magical. The worst part (or the best, really) was Ben’s costar Tom Hiddleston. Tom and Lila go way back, in the sense that she’d had a crush on him since Thor came out. He was the reason she started reading fanfiction, which led to her eventually writing fanfiction, so in a way he was her catalyst. None of this information was known to anyone but Lila and a few of her close friends, so she couldn’t even say why it was so exciting for her to be around Tom on set. Ben just thought she was excited to be on the set of such a huge film, directed by Steven Spielberg (which she was) and was oblivious to the feels bubbling dangerously close to the part of her brain that did the talking.
Lila managed, for the most part, to keep her mouth shut. However, she couldn’t stop her hands from finding that notebook and writing bits and pieces of fanfiction as they came to her mind. Seeing your muse in person is like taking some kind of crazy drug. ‘Crazy drug’ in the sense that it makes you crazy. There were so many things Lila wanted to say to Tom, to ask him, to do to him, but the mere thought of talking to him was out of the question. Their one encounter probably left him wondering why Ben had a mentally challenged PR assistant.
It was the horse that started the conversation. Tom’s horse, the protagonist, nuzzled Lila’s hair, probably attracted to her shampoo or something. Tom was holding the reigns.
“I guess he likes you,” Tom said in that perfect accent of his that made Lila’s knees weak. She laughed nervously and looked away so he wouldn't see her blushing.
Lila giggled and nervously walked away to find Ben while occasionally looking back at Tom.
Lila shrugged. She wasn’t sure why he would want a picture. They had both been ridiculously pale and not prepared to go swimming. She’d only brought a bathing suit because she thought she might have some down time waiting for Ben to finish up his interviews, and could possibly hit the hotel pool. Since this was the case, Lila hadn’t brought her best bathing suit. It was old, from high school, and not very elasticy anymore, so she didn’t care if the chlorine in the pool ruined it.
Ben wanted to go on all the fast waterslides, but Lila was a little more conservative and stuck to the smaller ones. She didn’t want to tell him it was because she was worried her bathing suit would come off, that was a little embarrassing for her to talk about. Lila and Ben hadn’t really known each other that long and weren’t as close, so even mentioning her possible bathing suit malfunctions was out of the question.
There was one slide that didn’t have a rating on it, but it didn’t look too fast. It was the kind you could go on alone, or with a couple people. There were mostly families waiting in line, so Lila figured it wasn’t too scary.
“Let’s do this one,” Ben pointed to it and pleaded with a smile.
Lila scrunched up her nose and squinted. “I don’t know, it looks pretty tall.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun! It’s the only one I haven’t done and I want to do them all.”
“You can go on it alone.”
“No, that’s lame. Besides, it says it’s more fun with more people, you can go faster.”
Lila shrugged. “I don’t really want to go fast.”
“It’s not that fast if it’s just us. I mean, you’re like…. 100lbs or something, and I’m obviously a twig.”
Lila blushed. “Complimenting me won’t get anywhere, especially when you overly lie about my weight. You’re off by about 25.”
“You weigh 75lbs?!” Ben asked with mock surprise and grinned. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”
Lila bit her lip and looked over the ride one more time.
“Last one of the day, then we can go home, okay?” He pleaded again.
Resigned, Lila sighed. It did look fun, and maybe if she held onto her bathing suit it wouldn’t come off. “Okay, let’s do this!”
As they got closer to the front of line, she saw that it was actually a little bit higher and faster than she expected, and began to worry.
“Hey Ben, would you mind sitting in front?” She asked, but didn’t want to explain it was so if her top came off she wouldn’t accidentally flash everyone.
“No you should sit in front. I can see right over your head, and I’d be blocking your view. Besides, the sign says the smaller person should go in front,” he smirked and pointed to the safety warning sign above them.
“Oh,” Lila sighed as she read it over. “Okay.”
At the top, they were helped into a two person tube before being shoved down the slide. It was slow at first and Lila relaxed at first.
“See, this isn’t scary at all!” Ben said behind her.
Turn after turn, it was a slow descent. Until they went into a closed section and it became dark. It sped up a little until suddenly there was a drop. Lila’s hands flew to her bathing suit top to make sure it stayed on, just as the slide opened up. She screamed, and there was a flash-
A flash? There was a picture!!!
***
“Ben!” She put her hand on his arm and he stopped scrolling through pictures. “The picture from that big water slide! They took a picture as we went down the steepest spot!”
His face lit up and his eyes got huge and bright. “Yes! I remember that!”
They excitedly began searching the computer for old pictures, and luckily Lila had the sense to chronologize all of her photos into neatly labeled folders. It didn’t take long to find the picture in question: Lila was in front, wearing that ugly bathing suit, mouth open mid-scream, and clutching her breasts.
They burst out laughing at the sight of it and Lila blushed. They sure did have a lot of fun memories, but all of them were overshadowed by the current task at hand: what to do with Sophie Hunter. She wasn’t really the problem, though, it was the people who had put them in it in the first place. The same people who believed Lila when she had told them could ride a horse, and then asked her to instruct Ben on his new role in a movie about a horse.
‘Warhorse’ was an interesting experience for Lila. It was her first time on a film set, and that was totally new and strange and weird and slightly magical. The worst part (or the best, really) was Ben’s costar Tom Hiddleston. Tom and Lila go way back, in the sense that she’d had a crush on him since Thor came out. He was the reason she started reading fanfiction, which led to her eventually writing fanfiction, so in a way he was her catalyst. None of this information was known to anyone but Lila and a few of her close friends, so she couldn’t even say why it was so exciting for her to be around Tom on set. Ben just thought she was excited to be on the set of such a huge film, directed by Steven Spielberg (which she was) and was oblivious to the feels bubbling dangerously close to the part of her brain that did the talking.
Lila managed, for the most part, to keep her mouth shut. However, she couldn’t stop her hands from finding that notebook and writing bits and pieces of fanfiction as they came to her mind. Seeing your muse in person is like taking some kind of crazy drug. ‘Crazy drug’ in the sense that it makes you crazy. There were so many things Lila wanted to say to Tom, to ask him, to do to him, but the mere thought of talking to him was out of the question. Their one encounter probably left him wondering why Ben had a mentally challenged PR assistant.
It was the horse that started the conversation. Tom’s horse, the protagonist, nuzzled Lila’s hair, probably attracted to her shampoo or something. Tom was holding the reigns.
“I guess he likes you,” Tom said in that perfect accent of his that made Lila’s knees weak. She laughed nervously and looked away so he wouldn't see her blushing.
Lila giggled and nervously walked away to find Ben while occasionally looking back at Tom.