Flea Bite

The screen on my cheap phone is splintered, little shards of glass sticking to my fingers as I attempt to brush it away. My hands shake and I can't find it in myself to relax -- not after last night, not after the way Frank left, not after the way he ignored me more than usual in school today.



I should have seen it coming, after the incident at the diner. After talking so poorly about Venus, after lashing out and crying. But I can't help my shaking hands, I can't help the way I'm feeling. It takes everything within me to not call him.

Just as I'm about to click on his contact, my door creaks open. My dad looks at me with a smiling face, graying hair brushed back from his olive skin. I offer him a smile, pushing my phone under my pillow.

"What's up, dad?" I'm sitting up, legs criss-cross. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep offering awkward smiles and minimal small talk. He sits next to me.

"Your mother and I are worried about you, Row." He leans closer to me and pulls his fingers through my hair, offering me a sympathetic look. I can't bring myself to make eye contact with him.

"I wasn't going to say anything, your mother asked me not to. But I can't just not say something, sweetheart. Your mother heard you come in very late last night -- and we aren't mad, no, but we are a little disappointed. Do I even want to ask where you were last night?" His tone isn't exactly angry, but it's hard, like he's edging his way to hostility.

My cheeks flush red. "I'm sorry, dad. Shit. I shouldn't have went out so late, I know it was wrong of me. I just. I had to do something, I'm sorry." I look at him and I can tell he's more worried about me than anything; I know he has more questions than he's asking.

"I wasn't doing anything bad, I promise. I just met up with someone. It won't happen again dad, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it and I promise it won't happen again." I want him to leave, to stop giving me the disappointed parent look, to just go. But he doesn't, instead he grabs my hand.

"I don't want you to get hurt, Rowan. That's all sweetie. There's a lot of bad people out there, especially at night. Your mom keeps telling me to buy you some mace but I always forget -- when I go out later I'll pick you up some, just in the case that something does happen that keeps you out late." He pats my hand and stands up, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"We love you, Row. We just want you safe." He closes the door behind him, and afterwards I merely sit in bed, contemplating on what to do. After a few minutes I lean back and snag my phone from under the pillow, looking once more at his name and hitting the message key.

With shaky hands I type, I dont need you anyway Iero. take your xoxo's and shove them up your you-know-what. As soon as I hit send, I'm overcome with regret.

I pull my fingers through my hair and let out a long, remorseful groan. What have I just done?