I Miss You
Introduction
I met this boy by chance.
At the time, I was failing my classes in college, I was very depressed, and I was working at the shoe store.
Honestly, all it took was for him to walk into the door, have me ask him for some help, and then there was a spark of, "This guy is good looking and I think I might fall in love with him." When he walked out those glass doors of that shoe store, I knew I was never going to see him again, but by chance, he came back a few minutes later, handed me a piece of paper and said, "I think you're cute; here's my number."
Chance.
What happened next is a long story and a mess. We dated for two weeks, he left me for his previous girlfriend, and when he realized she was using him, I took him back into my open arms. We were only apart for a week, but we don't discuss that week; it's almost as if that pause didn't happen and our life and happiness continued on together.
We changed the date of our anniversary though, only because it was different date and that week did happen; I don't hold that against him though, don't get me wrong for a second.
From the start, I knew that Kevin was an alcoholic though. I had found that on early from the start.
He had told me, time after time he had wanted to quit, and he had for short periods of time, but he didn't really get serious until he was arrested that one week we were apart; that's one of the reasons why he realized a few things about this girl, and one of the reasons why him and I got back together.
He went two whole weeks without it and he picked it up again one day while I was at work and he was thirty minutes away in his hometown. After that, drinking was almost a daily occurrence and though I didn't like the fact of it, there wasn't much I could do to stop him; he'd drink away from home after he got off work, not showing up until hours after his shift ended.
So, one day, the straw broke the camel's back.
He lives with his father, and I've been staying here due to my own family related problems. His father was asleep in his chair, Kevin came home, and he decided to mow grass. What woke up his father and alerted me though was after he mowed grass and we heard a chainsaw running.
Kevin was attempting to cut down a tree, at a quarter past eight at night, while intoxicated.
I informed his father that he had been drinking, he had been brought into the house, his mother was called, and well, Kevin admitted that he had a problem and he didn't know why he was drinking when he wanted to quit so bad.
That was July 13th, 2017.
On the 14th, my birthday, of all days, him and I went in to get him a counselor who recommended in-patient counseling so they would be able to detox him from the alcohol.
On the 15th, he was admitted into a rehab an hour away.
It was a solemn day, his mother, grandmother, and I drove down there and we spent an hour filling out a family questionnaire while he was being admitted into the facility. After paperwork was finished, we had to say our goodbyes and leave.
He hugged his grandmother, hugged his mom as she gave him words of encouragement, and then, when he finally got to me, told me he loved me, gave me a tight hug, kissed me in front of his two family members and two of the hospital staff, and then as he walked away, held onto my hand until our fingertips couldn't reach each other any longer.
I cried when he left, but I came up with an idea of what to do, this unknown amount of time we'll be apart from each other:
I decided to keep a journal to tell him all the things that he's missed out on, whether it be me going to work or what his cat has done that day.
These are the daily letters I wrote for him, my dearest Kevin.
At the time, I was failing my classes in college, I was very depressed, and I was working at the shoe store.
Honestly, all it took was for him to walk into the door, have me ask him for some help, and then there was a spark of, "This guy is good looking and I think I might fall in love with him." When he walked out those glass doors of that shoe store, I knew I was never going to see him again, but by chance, he came back a few minutes later, handed me a piece of paper and said, "I think you're cute; here's my number."
Chance.
What happened next is a long story and a mess. We dated for two weeks, he left me for his previous girlfriend, and when he realized she was using him, I took him back into my open arms. We were only apart for a week, but we don't discuss that week; it's almost as if that pause didn't happen and our life and happiness continued on together.
We changed the date of our anniversary though, only because it was different date and that week did happen; I don't hold that against him though, don't get me wrong for a second.
From the start, I knew that Kevin was an alcoholic though. I had found that on early from the start.
He had told me, time after time he had wanted to quit, and he had for short periods of time, but he didn't really get serious until he was arrested that one week we were apart; that's one of the reasons why he realized a few things about this girl, and one of the reasons why him and I got back together.
He went two whole weeks without it and he picked it up again one day while I was at work and he was thirty minutes away in his hometown. After that, drinking was almost a daily occurrence and though I didn't like the fact of it, there wasn't much I could do to stop him; he'd drink away from home after he got off work, not showing up until hours after his shift ended.
So, one day, the straw broke the camel's back.
He lives with his father, and I've been staying here due to my own family related problems. His father was asleep in his chair, Kevin came home, and he decided to mow grass. What woke up his father and alerted me though was after he mowed grass and we heard a chainsaw running.
Kevin was attempting to cut down a tree, at a quarter past eight at night, while intoxicated.
I informed his father that he had been drinking, he had been brought into the house, his mother was called, and well, Kevin admitted that he had a problem and he didn't know why he was drinking when he wanted to quit so bad.
That was July 13th, 2017.
On the 14th, my birthday, of all days, him and I went in to get him a counselor who recommended in-patient counseling so they would be able to detox him from the alcohol.
On the 15th, he was admitted into a rehab an hour away.
It was a solemn day, his mother, grandmother, and I drove down there and we spent an hour filling out a family questionnaire while he was being admitted into the facility. After paperwork was finished, we had to say our goodbyes and leave.
He hugged his grandmother, hugged his mom as she gave him words of encouragement, and then, when he finally got to me, told me he loved me, gave me a tight hug, kissed me in front of his two family members and two of the hospital staff, and then as he walked away, held onto my hand until our fingertips couldn't reach each other any longer.
I cried when he left, but I came up with an idea of what to do, this unknown amount of time we'll be apart from each other:
I decided to keep a journal to tell him all the things that he's missed out on, whether it be me going to work or what his cat has done that day.
These are the daily letters I wrote for him, my dearest Kevin.