I Miss You
Day Nine
Good evening, handsome,
Today has been a glum day. I woke up not wanting to do anything. I had plans to go to my house, but those ended up not happening; maybe Wednesday or Thursday.
I had a text from my boss when I woke up; she had forgotten to call me last night. She told me to call her at the shoe store and I did, explained the situation, and told her what dates I thought the program was. I told her I'd give her official dates when I got a call from the coordinator (which wasn't much longer after that). Needless to say, my boss is upset with me and will look at me as unreliable. Why? Tax free weekend ends the 6th, but school doesn't start until the 9th. So, because I can't work three fucking days (four if she gives me the 6th), she's going to be huffy-puffy; you would think she'd want to give the hours to people because I can't run the register, but no.
She knows the benefits of this program though and she knows I want to help you as much as possible so we can work through this situation together. She had my back for so long, but now I'm sure I'm going to get fired before I put in my two weeks notice, which will probably be very, very soon; the sooner the better actually.
My hire date will be a year on the 26th. As you know, I liked my job until they started screwing me over. At least it was the first place that hired me, and the very place I met you, darling.
Your first phone call cheered me up even though I was mostly complaining. I'm sorry about that; I made it about me and threw my problems at you. I shouldn't be doing that now.
One thing I managed to do today was download the new In This Moment album. I usually download albums in full, but there was only one link I trusted and it kept failing. I ripped them separately from Youtube and struggled with three songs for four hours because it'd only download anywhere from 10 seconds to maybe half a minute of a song. I finally got all of them though.
I like this one a bit more than the last and am probably going to be repeating it for a few days. I remember lyrics fairly quickly so it won't take me long at all.
I went to Food Lion and went out of my slump a little. I looked like a wreck; just wore my pajamas, a bra, and threw my hair up in that messy style I do with the hair clip. I didn't buy much, but I also ended up with a pint of Ben and Jerry's, which is a favorite of mine, even though it's expensive.
It was nice hearing your voice again; I constantly miss it.
I'm rather shocked on the amount of compliments other guys are giving you about me. I mean, I wanted to dress fairly nice, get some wear out of my lovely wedges. I never expected the compliments because... well, before you showed up in my life, the only time I was complimented was through a screen from other men or John; both groups wanting strictly other things from me. I went after those two groups because no one else ever would.
Maybe that's why my self-esteem doesn't exist.
One thing I picked up on today was us not ending a phone call in, "Goodbye," but rather, "I love you." It's to me, much more comforting than saying goodbye; it's something my sister also strictly believes in; you know shes's odd though.
This brings back a memory when I said the last time I left your house before "that week" happened. I told you I felt like you were saying goodbye forever to me, and you told me it wasn't.
The way our lives played out, it honestly wasn't because here we are, almost two months later. I won't forget that, even though it's something so small.
Sleep well, dear. We're another day closer to Sunday. I love you. Goodnight.
I had a text from my boss when I woke up; she had forgotten to call me last night. She told me to call her at the shoe store and I did, explained the situation, and told her what dates I thought the program was. I told her I'd give her official dates when I got a call from the coordinator (which wasn't much longer after that). Needless to say, my boss is upset with me and will look at me as unreliable. Why? Tax free weekend ends the 6th, but school doesn't start until the 9th. So, because I can't work three fucking days (four if she gives me the 6th), she's going to be huffy-puffy; you would think she'd want to give the hours to people because I can't run the register, but no.
She knows the benefits of this program though and she knows I want to help you as much as possible so we can work through this situation together. She had my back for so long, but now I'm sure I'm going to get fired before I put in my two weeks notice, which will probably be very, very soon; the sooner the better actually.
My hire date will be a year on the 26th. As you know, I liked my job until they started screwing me over. At least it was the first place that hired me, and the very place I met you, darling.
Your first phone call cheered me up even though I was mostly complaining. I'm sorry about that; I made it about me and threw my problems at you. I shouldn't be doing that now.
One thing I managed to do today was download the new In This Moment album. I usually download albums in full, but there was only one link I trusted and it kept failing. I ripped them separately from Youtube and struggled with three songs for four hours because it'd only download anywhere from 10 seconds to maybe half a minute of a song. I finally got all of them though.
I like this one a bit more than the last and am probably going to be repeating it for a few days. I remember lyrics fairly quickly so it won't take me long at all.
I went to Food Lion and went out of my slump a little. I looked like a wreck; just wore my pajamas, a bra, and threw my hair up in that messy style I do with the hair clip. I didn't buy much, but I also ended up with a pint of Ben and Jerry's, which is a favorite of mine, even though it's expensive.
It was nice hearing your voice again; I constantly miss it.
I'm rather shocked on the amount of compliments other guys are giving you about me. I mean, I wanted to dress fairly nice, get some wear out of my lovely wedges. I never expected the compliments because... well, before you showed up in my life, the only time I was complimented was through a screen from other men or John; both groups wanting strictly other things from me. I went after those two groups because no one else ever would.
Maybe that's why my self-esteem doesn't exist.
One thing I picked up on today was us not ending a phone call in, "Goodbye," but rather, "I love you." It's to me, much more comforting than saying goodbye; it's something my sister also strictly believes in; you know shes's odd though.
This brings back a memory when I said the last time I left your house before "that week" happened. I told you I felt like you were saying goodbye forever to me, and you told me it wasn't.
The way our lives played out, it honestly wasn't because here we are, almost two months later. I won't forget that, even though it's something so small.
Sleep well, dear. We're another day closer to Sunday. I love you. Goodnight.
♠ ♠ ♠
My depression acted up today, which sucked. It didn't help I was having the problems with my job either. I've had multiple problems with that place in recent months including why I'm not allowed on the register because something happened that wasn't my fault.After seeing Kevin Sunday, a lot of other men in the same facility have been coming up to him and saying that I was very attractive. It brings blush to my cheeks thinking about it due to my past. With my previous boyfriend, I was complimented maybe 10 times in the span of four years. That's the reason I searched for comfort in others, and while I did get it, it wasn't in a healthy way.
Also, if you don't know what "that week" was, I'd suggest going back to the introduction; that'll explain some of that story. My blogs also have quite a bit of information pertaining to what happened between the two of us.