Cold Water

“Can I touch it?” Bain asks a few nights later and if Knauss wasn’t nearly entirely sure what he was talking about he’d be confused. As it is, he just rolls his attention away from the TV and fixes Bain with a knowing look.

To be petty he asks, “What?” Bain scowls.

“Your tail, idiot.” Knauss doesn’t even bother to fully turn towards the human fidgeting in his seat, pretending to be more interested in the large woman on screen yelling about chicken nuggets. He’s kind of distantly proud that he understands everything she’s talking about.

“What is it the muppets call it? Magic words?” Knauss flicks his tail, splashing some water on the deck.

“Dude fuck you. Showing you Sesame Street has straight up been the worst thing I’ve ever done,” Bain huffs, throwing himself back into his seat. Apparently he’s done with this conversation, but now Knauss wonders.

“We will make a deal,” Knauss says, finally sitting up to face Bain who is trying to appear nonchalant.

“A deal?” he asks skeptically, but when Knauss beckons him with a short wave he just sighs and sets his laptop aside. When he doesn’t sit down immediately Knauss gives him a flat look that earns him a scoff. Despite his showy attitude Bain sits down, interest shining in his dark eyes, “What is it - woah!”

Rather than answering Knauss reaches out and grabs his cheek, pulling the human close enough that he could see him without his glasses. Keeping one firm hand on Bain’s face he uses his free hand to push his glasses up on his forehead, distantly he notices that the human is frozen stiff. It’s easy to see all the little flecks of toffee colored freckles dusting across Bain’s nose and cheeks. They’re actually quite faint right now, Knauss notes, trying to remember what Bain had told him that meant.

“You are not moving,” Knauss notes, Bain blinks at him and only now does he notice the fear hunching the human’s shoulders.

“What the hell are you doing?” he croaks.

“We made a deal,” Knauss frowns.

“No dude, a deal is when both people know what they’re agreeing to. It’s mutual, you scratch my back, I scratch yours,” Bain fumbles on his words a little.

“You want me to scratch your back?” Knauss furrows his brow, attention drifting back to the freckles. Distractedly he swipes his thumb across the sharp jut of Bain’s cheekbone. It’s like flipping a switch because abruptly Bain jerks away, he viciously rubs his shirt sleeve across his face.

“Jesus, dude, stop. No I don’t want you to scratch me, it’s just like, a saying. What the hell are you doing?” Bain squeaks, Knauss frowns at the distance. It’s hard for him to move around above water and Bain has scooted just out of his reach. Cheater.

“I want to see the freckles.”

“You’re obsessed,” Bain scoffs. Knauss shrugs.

“They are strange.”

“No, having a fucking tail is strange. Having freckles is just bad skin,” Bain clarifies, moving back towards him like he expects to be grabbed again.

“Not where I am from,” Knauss half-jokes, Bain makes a face and Knauss half expects him to ask a question about it but instead he just shakes his head, “How do you deal?”

“You make a deal by saying what you want, then I say what I want, and then we agree or we don’t,” Bain explains. Knauss can still kind of tell he’s flustered but he’s trying to keep it under control. There’s also something else this has reminded him of, when Bain fell into his tank, he hadn’t moved then, either.

“Why do you stop moving when you are scared?”

Bain tenses before frowning, “Shut up dude.”

Knauss shrugs. It’s not really that important.

“What the hell do you want, we’re dealing right now,” Bain presses. Knauss angles his head.

“I want to see your freckles - ”

“Which is weird,” Bain interjects.

“- and you may touch my tail,” Knauss says like Bain had never spoken, flexing his wet gills. He’s found that if he keeps them wet then breathing is a lot easier even if he’s using his lungs. Plus when they dry out they feel chapped and hurt when he gets back in the water.

Bain is quiet for a moment and Knauss cocks an eyebrow, “Okay whatever, just don’t get weird.” And with that permission Knauss reaches out and pulls Bain closer to get a good look, tilting his chin to look at the way the human’s neck stretches without gills. He touches his own gills with his free hand to compare but he doesn’t get to touch for long because Bain is already batting his hands away.

“I said don’t get weird,” Bain snaps.

“I do not know what that means,” Knauss huffs, hands dropping for the second time. Humans are exhausting, what’s their hang up on simple things like this? Maybe it was Bain-specific?

“You’re just,” Bain waves a frustrated hand, “So touchy. You can’t touch people like that, ain’t Sesame Street teach you anything?”

“Humans do not seem that upset by touching on TV,” Knauss tries to remember the term they used for when humans wrap their arms around another human and squeeze. He remembers seeing the gesture on shows before, but he had kind of thought that it was an aggressive gesture. Apparently it’s not a dominance thing, but rather an affection thing, who would have known?

Blinking, he refocuses on Bain who has apparently been talking the whole time and honestly, he can’t be bothered to try and focus on his words. Instead, Knauss reaches out and grabs one of Bain’s hands, pulling him closer with a jerk and firmly placing his hand on his hip.

“ - Woah, dude!?” Bain squawks so loud that Knauss flinches and scowls at him. Humans and their obnoxiously loud voices.

“This is the deal, come here,” Knauss quips as he reaches out again, this time Bain doesn’t pull away. Finally he seems distracted enough that Knauss can properly explore and he doesn’t waste time. Starting with the human’s chin before moving up to touch the shell of his ears, and then his hair. Nothing goes overlooked. Human hair, while not noticeably different at a glance, he does feel how it lacks a certain texture that his has. It feels coarser, somehow.

“This might be the gayest thing I’ve ever done,” Bain mutters and Knauss finally looks down to question what he’s talking about. Bain is staring intensely at the curl of black around his sides, where the mostly matte color of his grey tail catches in the light.

“What?”

“Nevermind, this feels different than I thought. I thought it’d be like, I don’t know, fingernails,” Bain says distractedly. Knauss inclines his head, pushing his hair behind his shoulder. It’s gotten much too long, he really prefers a more modest length. He doesn’t know if humans have anything that binds their hair back, or if it would still function underwater. Then again, why wouldn’t it?

“Fingernails?” he asks even though he already knows.

“Yeah, here.” Knauss takes the offered hand, observing Bain’s cropped nails as the human continues to follow the patterns on his hips. They remind him a bit of his own butchered hands and he bites back a grimace before moving his attention up the human’s arm. It’s covered in tiny blonde follicles that kind of tickle if he skims his fingers over them. About halfway up he’s surprised to realize that there are freckles here, too.

“You have more?” Knauss asks, pushing up the short sleeve of Bain’s shirt. It earns him a sour look but the human doesn’t try to escape so he turns his attention to this new development. These freckles are bigger than the ones on his face, and there are more. A lot more. They go all the way up his arm to his shoulder where the shirt is bunched.

“Yeah, whatever, why is your scales so rough?”

“It helps me hunt. They are hard to damage,” Knauss explains before he realizes he probably shouldn’t be telling the human this. He redirects, “Where are your freckles?”

“Everywhere. Whenever I get in the sun they show up. It feels like a shark, does it feel weird when I touch it?”

“It feels like you are touching my tail,” Knauss says flatly but Bain doesn’t appear to have picked up on the sarcasm, he’s too distracted by running his hand against the grain of scales. It’s a little uncomfortable but Knauss just turns his attention back to the shirt blocking his view. It doesn’t seem fair that Bain can see his disgustingly matte scales when he can’t see everything he wants.

So of course he does the most logical thing he can think of and digs his nails into the fabric. It tears as easily as he thinks it will.

On one hand, his suspicions are correct; the human does have plenty more freckles on his chest. On the other hand, Bain yelps so loud that he jolts back like he’s been burned as the human leaps to his feet and jumps away.

“Dude what the hell!?” Bain shouts. Knauss blinks, shocked.

Dazedly, the first thing he can think to say is, “Was that weird?”

Bain is silent for a long moment, their eyes locked for a long heartbeat, until suddenly he’s laughing. He’s laughing so loud that he covers his face and wraps an arm around his middle. Knauss takes a nervous glance at his tank and weighs his options between staying above water or just calling it a night. Obviously tearing clothing isn’t a go with humans, but then again in hindsight he’d never seen any human on television do it either. That should have been his first clue.

“That’s so fucking weird,” Bain gasps out once he’s calmed down enough. He plucks at the edge of his newly torn clothing and Knauss watches, unsure, “I don’t know what I expected. Usually people wait till at least the second date before clothes come off.”

“I do not know what that means,” Knauss hums

Bain sighs, “Yeah, it’s whatever. I’m gonna go change, don’t fucking rip clothes off people idiot, they cost money. That don’t mean shit to you but I’d have been pissed if this was a shirt I liked.”

Helplessly Knauss shrugs, he kind of gets it, but only because he watches too much human television. He understands money is the type of currency humans use to purchase things at places called malls. It seemed to only be a thing young, female humans did though.

“Are you upset?” he asks, to clarify.

“No, you scared the shit out of me, those nails are fucking scary.” Knauss frowns deeply, flexing his grip.

“They are not what they were.”

“Yeah, thank fucking Christ for that or you’d have gutted me, yeah? Be careful asshole, I’ll be right back,” Bain says before making his way down the stairs to leave. Knauss watches him go silently before slipping back into his tank to wait for him to come back.

*

The only people that come into this room and stay for any period of time is day security, the cleaners, and the staff with the unfortunate job of hauling him live fish. None of which Knauss actually sees because he’s usually asleep.

In fact, the only human he can be bothered to stick around is Bain which is a double edged sword because on the one hand at least he isn’t alone, but on the other hand the only contact to the alien world he’s being held hostage in is a human that doesn’t like the taste of spam and believes cultural knowledge comes from a children’s show.

Which is working, Knauss has learned more about humans in two weeks than he had learned in two months on his own, but that’s not the point. The point being, of course, that other humans live in the building that he forgets about when Bain doesn’t remind him.

“So Cal called yesterday to check in on me,” Bain says offhandedly one night.

Oh yes, the boss.

Knauss hums acknowledgement, Bain pays him no mind.

“Apparently some snitch ratted me out, saying I ain’t been going out like I used to, and Cal got suspicious. I mean, he’s always suspicious, but now he’s asking where I’ve been. It ain’t important, but more people might be around in the day,” Bain shrugs. Knauss doesn’t really see why that should bother him but he hums again, slipping back in the cool water.

“Where is your brother?” Knauss asks, he tends to forget how much else there is in the house and when Cal isn’t an immediate annoyance like he used to be it’s easy to forget he exists. The question seems to confuse Bain.

“What do you mean? Is he around town? He ain’t right now, he’s been travelling for business, I think he’s in Japan right now,” Bain frowns at his phone, fiddling with it a bit.

“Japan?”

“A country, you know countries right?” Knauss shrugs. Kind of. After a moment of browsing through his messages Bain perks up before frowning deeper, “Okay yeah, he’s there. He actually sent me this thing and I’ve been meaning to ask you. Do mermaids get sick?”

Sick? “Yes, why?”

Bain grimaces, shifting in his seat a little before glancing over to where Knauss is hanging around the edge of the water before looking back at his phone.

“So, uh, Cal is talking to some important people, yeah? Apparently they have a mermaid too, and he sent me a video,” he explains haltingly, Knauss’ expression is carefully neutral. The room is suddenly very quiet without the television buzzing in the background. Bain flips through his messages to find the clip.

When Knauss doesn’t immediately respond Bain shifts a little more.

“I don’t know, it’s just, she’s apparently kept out where people can see her a lot and she just looks kinda… off,” Bain continues.

“Let me see?” Knauss asks, tone flat.

“I don’t know,” Bain sounds hesitant, eyes glued to the screen. Knauss inclines his head.

“Bain,” he presses, Bain purses his lips and scoots closer so when he turns the phone towards Knauss. He doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t actually move at all, because he knows her. Of course he knows her, with so few mers left, as Siyah from a southern pod. She must have been captured recently, he hadn’t heard news of her capture before his own.

From the angle the clip was filmed he can’t see much of her obviously smaller tank, but what he can make out from the grainy texture of a cellphone video is her golden scales, what should have been brilliant, are burnished and brassy. He can make out the shiny pale flesh of her tail where patches of scales have fallen away and her gills when she breathes - too quickly, he can’t help but note - are inflamed with ill-health.

What’s worse is when the camera pans to show the rest of the room he realizes, with no small amount of horror, that it is full of humans. All watching Siyah struggle in the glass prison she’s been trapped in for Mother knows how long.

The pain that spears through his chest is so intense that he’s concerned that it shows on his face. He hadn’t expected to feel such kindred emotions for such a distant sister.

“I don’t know. Her tail looks kind of like yours but she swims weird, I figured maybe she’s sick?” Bain asks, pulling the phone away to watch the clip himself.

Knauss’ expression is unchanging, he’s proud that his voice is steady when he speaks, “She is dying.”

“What?” Bain starts, looking up at him with raised brows. Knauss feels like he’s eaten ice.

“Yes. She will be dead soon.”

“How do you know? I can just text Cal and they’ll get a vet or a doctor or something,” Bain says, swiping over to messages but Knauss is already shaking his head.

“No,” he says firmly, frantically.

“No? Why?” Bain snaps.

“She is too far, look,” Knauss waves him closer so they can both look at the screen. He doesn’t know how to work the device but Bain switches back to the video when he asks, “There is no den, no place to sleep. There is no room and her tail, no scales.” Knauss tries to explain but he just feels like his English is falling apart the faster he speaks. Instead he tilts his head to show Bain his healthy red gills, “Her’s white. She is lonely, she will die. Let her die.”

He can only hope he gets his point across, when he looks back at Bain he just sees the human’s stricken expression and thinks maybe he made enough sense in his haste to explain. Bain tilts the screen back to himself and frowns.

“You don’t think we should help her?” he says, Knauss doesn’t understand his tone.

“No,” he insists, “It is better this way.”

Bain is silent for a long moment, looking at his phone to a place just over Knauss’ shoulder, but never at Knauss himself, and for a heartbeat Knauss is worried that he will just ignore him and tell Cal anyway. Then Bain nods, slowly, but it’s enough to let Knauss breathe again - when had he been holding his breath?

“Okay… Okay, alright. I won’t tell, I just. I gotta go, okay?” Bain frowns, tucking his phone into his pocket and turning to gather his things. When he turns off the lights on his way out Knauss stays at the surface long enough for the lights to switch back from purple to white before he returns to his den for the morning.

*

When Bain comes back a few days later he brings him two apples to eat and they talk about something humans call sports which they proceed to watch on TV. Knauss thinks it’s a little extravagant, but he does think the creatures humans can ride atop called horses are very interesting.

They don’t talk about Siyah again.