Inside My Arms

It's only been three days since I made my decision.
Three days when I walked my dog with Gerard.
Three days where I only made one decent conversation with him.

It wasn't even a conversation.
It was more of,
"How are you today?"
But I realized something.

I know more about him by his body language.
Than I'll ever know with his voice.
Like how he'll always put his hands inside his pocket
when something is awkward.
Or how he'll bring out his confidence,
when he looks into the sky.

I break out of my thoughts.
And decide to take a walk
by myself.

I step outside my doorstep.
Gerard is out smoking.
I decide to company him.

He smiles at me.
When I sit down next to him.

"Hey," he greets me.

"Hi."

He stares at me.
I stare at him back.
I don't want to break away.
Neither does he.

He's staring at me,
but he's not staring at me.
How is that possible?

"How come you always do that?"

He looks confused.
"Like what?"

"Stare at me, but you don't really stare at me," I reply.

He chuckles.
And bring his cigarette to the floor.
Putting it out with concrete.

"I'm staring at you Polly, I really am. But I rather much stare at your hands than your eyes."

I give him a confused look.
I think he took it as offensive.
I don't know whether I'm insulted or complimented.
I say nothing.

"Your eyes are beautiful, they truly are. Your face is gorgeous, but I just rather much stare at your hands."

I'm still confused.
"Explain," I told him.

"Give me your hands then," he orders.

I do as he instructed.
He places his palm against mine.
His fingers against mine.
I feel a tingly sensation.
It feels good.

"Do you feel that?" He ask.

I nod.

"That's why I rather much stare at your hands. Because I know your face won't give me pleasure as your touch does. When we're all rotted away, your touch is still going to give me that pleasure. Every bit of it," he finishes explaining.

I grin with all my teeth.
He gives me a smirk.

Our hands are still touching.
He wraps his finger around mine.
Brings my hand to his lips.
And kiss it gently before releasing me.

He leans over to me.
Inch by inch slowly
Till his lips stops at my right ear.
"Everything about you is beautiful," he whispers.

I get goosebumps.
He notices and rubs his hands against my skin.
To make it go away.
But I get more goosebumps.
This time around my heart.
He can't make that go away.