One Less Chair

Max was dressed up all in black again and the sight was making him sick. He resolved to never again wear another suit, staring into the mirror with a mixed expression of disgust and resignation. No matter how hard he wished, every night without fail, that this was all a horrible dream he could wake up from, nothing changed.

He turned to his room, staring at all the boxes forlornly. After everything Mike and Chester had gone through to get this house - and it was just being thrown away. Max swallowed thickly and moved out of the room quickly, spotting Mike’s sons ducking into Teddy’s room. Max followed to see the boys mumbling quietly to each other. He caught his name, then Mike’s, and worry flashed across Teddy’s young face. He looked up to see Max standing there and dashed forward, hugging Max tightly.

“Don’t go.” Max’s eyebrows jumped up and he patted the young boy’s shoulders.

“Where am I going, Teddy?” There was silence, then Otis spoke up hesitantly.

“Isaiah said you were leaving Dad.” Surprise flashed across Max’s face. “He said it was obvious, cause you’re selling the house and we hardly ever see you anymore.” Max picked up the five year old and sat next to Otis, pulling them both close.

“I’m not leaving,” Max swore. He nudged the crying five year old. “I’m not leaving any of you. I promise.” Teddy sniffled and looked up at Max, eyes wide and full of tears. The sight made Max’s heart hurt. “I love your dad with all my heart. We’re both just going through a really tough time right now.”

“Because of Uncle Chester?” Otis asked. A pang went through Max’s chest and he nodded.

“We’re coping with it differently,” Max said gently. “But that doesn’t mean we’re going to separate. We promised each other that we’d stay together forever, and I mean to keep that promise.” Otis nodded and Teddy nuzzled closer to Max. Max hugged them both tightly. “Come on, let’s get your suits on.”

Max stood, glancing at the door to see Mike standing there, arms crossed and deep in thought. Max bit his lip and set Teddy down, walking over to him and touching his wrist briefly. Mike’s eyes focused on Max’s worried expression and he joined their hands, pressing their foreheads together. Max took a deep breath, eyes closing.

“Forever,” Mike whispered. Max nodded. “Don’t forget, we’re picking up the dog later.” How could he forget? Anxious energy pulsed through Max and he moved to help the boys into their clothes.

They clambered into the car, again, and set off for Chester’s funeral. A great number of people had amassed already, and still more people pulled up. Max watched everyone somberly, giving sad smiles to anyone who spoke to him and hurried up to Talinda, who hugged him tightly. When they separated, she took his hand, holding on as if for dear life. Max let her, knowing she needed as much support as she could get.

When Chester’s ex-wife walked through, she gave them a cold stare and moved toward her son, ignoring them. Max wondered if she even remembered who he was. Everyone that walked by offered Talinda their deepest condolences and Max felt like he was going to be sick.

---

Max watched as his new dog, Anubis, sniffed through their house, looking around inquisitively. Once satisfied that he understood their surroundings well enough, the chihuahua on stilts walked over to Max and laid down on his feet. Max watched him fondly and looked up to watch Mike as he messed around on the keys of his piano, humming lyrics to himself. Worry pulsed through Max’s thoughts.

Anubis was a whippet - a greyhound mix that Max was certain was part chihuahua. He had the head shape and overall body shape of a chihuahua with the general size of a whippet - chihuahua on stilts, as Max liked to call him. Black fur covered him from head to toe, and pointy ears swiveled in every direction as he drank in his surroundings.

Teddy had taken to the pup right away, but the dog himself didn’t seem overly fond of kids. He mostly just stuck by Max’s side, letting Max pet him whenever Max felt the urge.

A smash of noise emanated from the piano, startling the pup. Max looked over to see Mike glaring at the piano, tears falling from his eyes. Max rushed over, touching Mike’s shoulder tentatively. When the older man didn’t push him away, he sat down on the bench and pulled Mike into a hug. They sat together for an unknown amount of time, holding each other in their sorrow.

Mike pulled away first, taking a deep breath. He pet the dog a few times, and, seemingly feeling better, stood to go make food in the kitchen. Max watched him go and turned to stare desolately at the piano.

His phone vibrated and he glanced at it to see a notification from twitter. Opening it, he checked his messages to find a message containing screenshots of some of Talinda’s tweets. Their contents made him feel queasy, and the message stated that the tweets had been deleted.

Max sat there numbly, denying the tweets in his head over and over again. He did a quick google search and several articles popped up, all with different screenshots of the same tweets. Max swallowed thickly, and when Mike called for him and the boys to go eat, he did not move. The dog rubbed against his leg and he pet it absently, trying over and over again to not think about it.

Eventually Mike wandered over, taking Max’s hand and pulling him to the kitchen to eat. It was nearly empty, save for the items Mike used most to cook, everything packed and ready for transport. They would soon be moving to their new home.

Anxiety pulsed through Max. Everything had changed so quickly. It was all still changing, leaving Max raw and vulnerable. He ate a few bites of food before pushing his plate away and Mike eyed him warily. The boys remained their ever-rambunctious selves, unaware of their parents’ tension.

Once the kids had finished eating, Max began to clean up, shrugging off Mike’s help and telling him that it was fine, he didn’t need any help. After Mike gave up and walked back over to his piano, Max finished cleaning and glanced at his phone. His sister had sent him a text asking for her and Rob to come over to his new home when they settled in. Max sent her an affirmative and put his phone away, taking a deep breath. Exhaustion pulled heavy at his limbs.

After a few minutes standing in the kitchen and staring at nothing, he and the dog made their way to his room. Max flicked on the television, putting in his and Chester’s favorite movie to watch together, The Hobbit, and curled up under his very soft blanket, the dog curling next to him. Max pet the dog absently, watching the movie without really seeing it.

Max watched the movie absently as Anubis stood, settling in between Max’s arm and his chest. Max scratched his back gently, yawning as Mike walked in, stretching his back. He nodded at Max before disappearing into the bathroom.

Max sighed, remembering the tweets he’d seen earlier. He knew it was nothing. Talinda was hacked by a bad fan. There was no way the two of them would do such a thing, not to Max and Chester. Max’s mind continued to wander as the shower turned on, and eventually off, and Mike walked into the room with just his towel tucked around his waist. He called the dog over to the sliding glass door and closed it behind him, leaving the dog to explore the backyard and do his business as the older man stepped over to Max. He took Max’s hand and pulled him up off the bed, kissing him sweetly.

Max kissed back slowly, still distracted by his own thoughts. With a soft sigh, Mike pulled away, nudging Max’s nose with his own. “What’s going through your mind?” he asked softly.

Before Max could think of a more tactful way to say it, the words tumbled out of his mouth. “I saw the tweets.” When Mike gave him a confused look, he said, “The ones from Anna’s Twitter. About… you.” Understanding pulled Mike’s lips into a frown.

“Those aren’t true, Max,” Mike said. His voice was hard, like he couldn’t believe Max was even considering it. Max ran a hand through his thick hair, sighing.

“I know that Talinda denied them. That they were deleted. I know that… that the probability of them being true is, like, one in a trillion or something stupid. But you didn’t tell me it happened. I had to find out from some dumb fans on the internet.” Mike frowned.

“I’m sorry, Max, we had more important things to worry about. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. I honestly forgot about it.” Max leaned heavily on his husband.

“Please don’t forget stuff like that ever again.” Mike cupped the back of Max’s neck, prompting the younger to look up at him. Their eyes met, and Max drank in the look of deep sincerity in Mike’s eyes.

“I’ll never do that again. I’m sorry that my forgetfulness hurt you.” Max sucked in a breath and kissed his husband needily, hungrily. Their bodies collided, a mass of confused emotions and necessity. It had been too long since they touched each other like this, since they held each other like this. Max had needed this reassurance more than anything.

---

Max kept his eyes on the stage. His heart hurt to be here with Linkin Park and all of their friends with Chester nowhere in sight. As the band finished their first song and Talinda’s microphone was prepared, he struggled to hold his composure. The first person to cry would start a chain reaction no one would quite be able to handle, or end.

The band finished their song and the stage went dark. Next to him, Talinda shook her head. “I can’t do it,” he heard her say. He turned to her, saw her shaking, her lip trembling. If she went on stage, she was going to cry. Mike appeared next to him and their eyes met. They nodded simultaneously and Mike turned to the stage manager as Max whisked Talinda to an empty dressing room. Once the door was closed and locked, Talinda lost it.

As Max comforted her, what began as a slight noise became the entire stadium and even the stage crew singing along to Numb. Chills ran down Max’s spine as he remembered the first time Chester sang those lyrics; the first time he’d told Max about what happened to him, the first time Chester had opened up about his demons and the things he did to fight them. Pain wracked Max’s thin frame, and he worked diligently to pull Talinda back from the brink of a meltdown. She’d worked so hard on her speech; tried so hard to get through it without crying. Max had stayed up with her on late nights where she couldn’t handle being home anymore, helping her write her speech and power through the obvious pain. They both knew she had to say those words; that the crowd needed it as much as she did.

He thought about the fans, about the lines of people waiting outside to get into the Bowl tonight. About all the people from out of state, out of country that had tweeted that they were here, tonight, ready to celebrate the life of a man that everyone missed. Everyone’s hearts a little less full.

Talinda finally managed to pull herself together and Max helped her reapply her makeup, taking her hand and holding it tightly as they waited just off stage for her turn to speak. Song after song, guest appearance after guest appearance. Each one taking a moment to hug Talinda, to offer condolences, to show their support as they stepped off stage. None of it ever really helping Max to feel any better. He wondered how Talinda felt. Wondered how the kids felt. Wondered how Mike felt.

Max’s heart ached when Talinda walked onstage to deliver her speech. Mike stepped off stage and, without reaching for a towel or a water bottle, pulled Max into an incredibly tight hug. Max let him without complaint; he could only imagine what it was like to actually be on that stage without Chester. Twenty years of love, twenty years of companionship and family, ended. Over. Gone.

They held each other in silence, listening to Talinda’s speech. Max had heard it so many times, he knew it by heart. Knew when Talinda’s voice broke in the wrong spot, when would she hiccup over the same place she always did, when she forgot what she was going to say next and had to pause to readjust herself. He rubbed Mike’s back gently and told him when the speech was about to end, so that he could drink some water before heading back onstage. Shortly after Mike’s warm presence left his arms, Talinda had filled his spot. They held each other for a while, Talinda holding so tightly Max was sure he would faint from lack of oxygen.

“Do you want to leave early?” He asked her gently. She shook her head no. He nodded an okay and rubbed slow circles on her back, eyes on his husband as he watched him try to hold himself together. He let the tears flow now; he was not the first, nor would he be the last.