The Moment

A cold winter breeze rushed through my hair, knotting, dishevelling and altogether ruining the look I had spent more than just a few minutes perfecting that morning. I tried to coax the strands back into place but it was in all in vain, the wind was stronger than my will. It was then that I longed for the gentle breeze of spring to replace this bitter bite of an excuse for warmer weather.

That morning the weather man on the local news had led me to believe that brighter days were due; summer was well on its way with its predecessor arriving in hopes of readying the British population for beaches and ice cream. But alas, I was left in the morning breeze without a hat or scarf.
I suppose I can't place all the blame on the weather man for my regrettable mistake in attire, neither can I blame those who created his lies nevertheless they do bear their own portion of it. It was I that looked at the warm blue woolly hat and matching orange scarf on top of the coffee table this morning and decided to leave the items there. Luckily enough, I still carried the same pair of thick purple gloves in my bag I had since the first hint of a cold beginning tickled the tip of my nose the past September. At least my hands could be toasty warm, even if the rest of me couldn't.

For a moment, there that word is again reminding of just how short the moment was and how replaying it in my mind on a regular basis would not lengthen it by any amount but if anything cause it to shrink even further into non-existence, my attention was divided between looking into my bag and walking forward but, that was all it took to lose my footing on a loose piece of pavement and tumble to the cold ground. My bag fell beside me and out rolled my private belongings for all the world to see, or at least the rush of people still trying to push on forward that chilly morning and reach their destination, wherever that may be.

"Oh, are you okay?" A question I wasn't used to hearing due to my usually well prepared and calm nature. A hand reached out and touched me gently on the shoulder; I assumed it belonged to the man that asked the caring question so I looked up to look into wise old eyes.

"Yes, thank you, I just lost my footing for a moment there," I responded a smile on my lips as I reassured the kind stranger. "Silly me." He chuckled and made a shaky move to lean down to pick up my compact mirror, which was no doubt broken from the spill, but I held my hand up so he stopped and straightened back up. "No, please don't, I might as well get it while I'm down here so please, don't trouble yourself."

"That's a relief, my bones don't appreciate what they used to allow." He mused with a chuckle making me laugh along too as I picked up all the items I saw fall and put them back into their home. The stranger held out his hand as I made a move to get up. Out of courtesy I took it, however, I used my own strength to return to my feet, almost certain that if I took advantage of the helping hand, I'd surely pull the elderly man down on top of me.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Now, you sure you're fine?"

"Positive." I nodded as if he wouldn't believe me if I didn't.

"Good well I'll be off now."

"Okay, goodbye and thank you again." He smiled in response before turning and walking away, greeting strangers as he went in a way that only the kind and the elderly do.

A smile from the friendly interaction still on my face, I turned ready to continue my walk to work, the gloves that were the source of the incident all but forgotten up until I saw them in the hands of a woman who looked as if she had been waiting for my attention but didn't wish to pry it from the old man.

Then, it happened.
The Moment.
It was just how they describe it cliché romance novels; everything blurred out except for the beauty before me. I couldn't see anything else nor did I wish to.

It was clear that she was older than I by at least a decade but that did nothing to prevent the feeling of my heart thumping erratically against my ribs, ready to jump out and fly into her delicate hands, be caressed by her slender fingers and ripped in two, by nails once painted red but then chipped to the extent that very little remained, if that was what she desired to do with it.
Something like a carefree contradiction hung about her as if nothing in the world mattered to her but at the same time everything and anything could spark her passion at any moment and she would do her all to pursue it. Her lazy smile showed the first, along with creases on her clothes and hairs falling out of the loose bun atop her head, and her eyes so alert and full of excitement along with her perfectly cleaned boots showed the later and I was nothing short of incredibly intrigued and impressed by it all. Never before had I met someone so effortlessly appealing that they revealed to me just how black and white my life had been but there were colours out there that I hadn't yet even began to imagine and upon seeing this woman, I wanted to see it all.

But as quickly as it started, it stopped and the world started to spin again, time was once again moving and I had to return back to reality and face the fact that the moment wouldn't last.

"Are these yours?" She asked with a voice I expected to be more melodic and as pure as children's laughter but it wasn't, it was as normal as the voice of you or I and I realised I spent way too much time with my nose buried in books. I needed a new hobby instead of getting lost in the way the quiet, plain, unsuspecting girl looked at Mr tall dark and mysterious and when he finally noticed her, they fell in love and lived happily ever after.

"Yes, thank you," I replied gently taking the gloves, noticing how there weren't any sparks or fireworks when our hands brushed, just cold skin against cold skin.

"No problem. Have a nice day."

"You too." Then, we parted ways and just like that it was all over.
For many mornings after, I passed that same spot, secretly hoping that my path would once again cross with the woman with the messy brown hair and shining brown eyes but my luck has never been that high.

Even as the days grew warmer, colder, then warmer again in an annual cycle and I could no longer clearly remember the crinkles by her eyes, I still had hopes of seeing the woman again, if only in passing.
Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that I would never have the privilege of seeing her again, that the fact that my own days had dwindled so severely meant that chances were, hers were long over but I could never quite bring the reality of the situation to the surface.

Part of me wishes that The Moment never happened, that I had been more careful that morning and passed her by without a reason to even glance her way. Maybe if I had never fallen then I would’ve never found out my life was lacking such special feelings, that loving someone wasn’t the same as being in love with them. If I hadn’t had such realisations that morning, then maybe I wouldn’t have spent the rest of my years yearning for more than just settling for what was within arms reach and never pushing myself to achieve the happiness I felt I truly deserved.
But now, I sit watching the days go by knowing that soon, they will be over and my one regret was the woman. I still don’t quite know if the regret forms from never chasing her, never looking for her or the simple fact that for a moment, she was a part of my life and I never let her go. I don’t think I’ll ever know.

If there is one thing I wish to leave behind, one wisdom I long to pass on it’s this; if someone special enters your life and you feel with every fibre of your being that they are the one person that you wish to spend time with, fall in love with and eventually grow old with, never hesitate to take a chance because the second you watch them turn and walk away is the second you lose the one thing that could complete your life and all you will be left with is a memory of The Moment.