Status: Verrrryyyyyyy Active.
I Will Make You Believe....
Here's To Us
Leaving Josh was awkward to say the least. We all flew together to New York and then split off to our respective hometowns. He gave me a hug in front of the crew, just as they each had, and I thought for sure he was going to try and kiss me. Instead, His eyes met mine from across the row of chairs in the gate at the airport. We were all leaving at different times and Josh, Tyler, Jenna, and I happened to be the last ones. He kept meeting my stare and both of us turning away awkwardly.
"Hey! What are you doing for the break?" Jenna asked me enthusiastically.
"Oh Trina and I have some house stuff we've been meaning to do and friendsgiving. I have to do some work with some other festivals too."
"Wow do you ever take a break?" We all laughed at her words.
"I enjoy my work. You can't be tired of something you love."
We all struck up a conversation until Tyler and Jenna's flight number was called.
"Alright, we'll see you in a few weeks!" They both hugged me.
"And you in a week." They pointed jokingly at Josh causing us all to laugh as they walked up to the gate and boarded their plane. Josh sat back down besides me this time.
"Tyler told me about the conversation he had with you." He started with.
"Yeah, I think I was a little mean." Josh shrugged and reached for my hand. I pulled away instinctually.
"I'm sorry," I looked up and saw the frown on his face," It's habit."
"But you mean it still..." I sighed.
"Josh, I really really like you. The fact that Tyler came to me the way he did just proves that I'm completely right in wanting to hide any kind of affection from the people we work with. I can't have the world knowing about me and you. It could cost me more professionally than I am ready to lose."
"Now boarding flight 1427 to Phoenix Platinum members and families flying with children"
I looked over at the counter that was across the terminal hallway from us. I needed to get in line.
"I understand that Annabel, but we can't hide this forever..." I sighed.
"We would need it to stay hidden forever though. Until some grace of god bids us together forever that we could show the world... this is how it would have to stay. I know that's a scary thought and it's not fair, but it's how it has to stay." I stood and grabbed my backpack. He stood and stopped me from grabbing at the pelican.
"What about our families and our friends? Jenna doesn't even know!," I looked around as he raised his voice. It drew some attention," We can't do this forever."
"I'm willing to open up to more people as time goes on, but if you want this to be a thing then you have to do it on the terms I've given you. I hate to give you an ultimatum, but I have to protect myself..." He sighed.
"If this is it and you don't want to talk to me anymore then I get it," I grabbed the pelican and pulled it towards me. I had grown very frustrated with his sudden want to tell everyone," I'll send you my address. Maybe we shouldn't talk until friendsgiving just to give us some space, if you're even coming...."
With that I walked into the line to board my plane and left a speechless Josh behind. I also probably lost the only good thing that's come into my life in the last two years...
"Hey! What are you doing for the break?" Jenna asked me enthusiastically.
"Oh Trina and I have some house stuff we've been meaning to do and friendsgiving. I have to do some work with some other festivals too."
"Wow do you ever take a break?" We all laughed at her words.
"I enjoy my work. You can't be tired of something you love."
We all struck up a conversation until Tyler and Jenna's flight number was called.
"Alright, we'll see you in a few weeks!" They both hugged me.
"And you in a week." They pointed jokingly at Josh causing us all to laugh as they walked up to the gate and boarded their plane. Josh sat back down besides me this time.
"Tyler told me about the conversation he had with you." He started with.
"Yeah, I think I was a little mean." Josh shrugged and reached for my hand. I pulled away instinctually.
"I'm sorry," I looked up and saw the frown on his face," It's habit."
"But you mean it still..." I sighed.
"Josh, I really really like you. The fact that Tyler came to me the way he did just proves that I'm completely right in wanting to hide any kind of affection from the people we work with. I can't have the world knowing about me and you. It could cost me more professionally than I am ready to lose."
"Now boarding flight 1427 to Phoenix Platinum members and families flying with children"
I looked over at the counter that was across the terminal hallway from us. I needed to get in line.
"I understand that Annabel, but we can't hide this forever..." I sighed.
"We would need it to stay hidden forever though. Until some grace of god bids us together forever that we could show the world... this is how it would have to stay. I know that's a scary thought and it's not fair, but it's how it has to stay." I stood and grabbed my backpack. He stood and stopped me from grabbing at the pelican.
"What about our families and our friends? Jenna doesn't even know!," I looked around as he raised his voice. It drew some attention," We can't do this forever."
"I'm willing to open up to more people as time goes on, but if you want this to be a thing then you have to do it on the terms I've given you. I hate to give you an ultimatum, but I have to protect myself..." He sighed.
"If this is it and you don't want to talk to me anymore then I get it," I grabbed the pelican and pulled it towards me. I had grown very frustrated with his sudden want to tell everyone," I'll send you my address. Maybe we shouldn't talk until friendsgiving just to give us some space, if you're even coming...."
With that I walked into the line to board my plane and left a speechless Josh behind. I also probably lost the only good thing that's come into my life in the last two years...