I Want the Truth

Flashing lights burned at my eyes while I clutched on to Tom. This was the first time he had taken me this fancy. I wasn’t red carpet material and it showed.

Tom chuckled and pulled me closer to him, he set his hand on the small of my back and guided me to the front entrance of the building. The paparazzi wouldn’t stop with the questions. Of course they had seen us out and about often, but Tom and I never admitted to anything. As far as everyone knew I was simply friends with Tom.

When they arrived inside I of course was automatically star struck by all of the famous British actors that Tom quit often spoke about, some he even worked with.

Sitting down at the circler table I leaned closer to Tom and quietly whispered, “I feel like I’m out of place.”

Instantly he warmly smiles at me, “Just be you, everyone loves the beautiful Ida.”

“I don’t know-”

The lights diming down signaled it was time for everyone to be silent and focus on the front stage. The spot light began following the crazed man who quickly rambled his words making it hard for Ida to understand his thick accent.

I tried to relax and remain still but my fingers fidgeted and my knee bounced, I wanted Tom to win an award for his talented acting but I also didn’t think she could handle herself alone with the group of people around the table.

Like clockwork, Tom reached his hand out to mine giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You’re worrying too much, Ida. Stop, you know I’ll take care of you.”

And in that very moment I made up my mind, I wanted more.

“I can always tell when you think about him.” My mother, Beth, didn’t break rhythm as she spoke to me. “You aren’t concentrating on my movements and you turn into a space case.” She teases
That was it; I’d been caught by my own mother. Why must I be so readable? Instantly I can feel the embarrassment beaming through my body, my cheeks start to burn, and in my attempts at lying I say, “I’m not thinking about him, Ma. That was so long ago.” I roll my eyes, “I am not having this conversation again.” I sit down on the wooden stool that’s sitting by the glass window; I pretend she doesn’t exist while I take a sip of my water.

My mother giggles, she actually stops dancing for the first time since we’ve been here, “What triggered it this time? I thought you were going to leave this whole thing behind? Do I need to set you up on another date, because I will? What about that nice boy who moved in next door to you?”

“Mom, stop.”

“Adelia…” She warns. “You can’t still be upset.”

“I Skyped with Aleah this morning and it made me think again. It’s frustrating.” I pause not sure what else to say. Running my fingers through my hair I quickly say, “I don’t know why I still think about him so often. If it weren’t for me opening my big mouth we could still be friends, I could still be living there and having fun with all my old friends.” Groaning I stare out the glass window. “One year, Ma. I still can’t stop.”

“You’re only hurting yourself, Ida.” She pulled her long black hair into a pony tail. “Have you talked to your father about being his help on set?”

“No, I don’t want to be on the same set as Tom, did you not just hear anything I’ve said? I literally don’t think I could force myself to even be in the same room as him! I haven’t healed fully…”

She rolls her eyes at me, “So many excuses. Maybe this is all happening for a reason. You never got closure with Tom, maybe it’s time to toughen up and put the past where it belongs.”

“I get it, but really, but why did my father have to be Co-directing for Thor, seriously? It’s like a huge slap in the face. Couldn’t that one guy John do it?” Sighing I say, “I don’t think I have the mental stability to see him. What do I do? Walk up to him and be like, hey sorry I fell in love with you and ruined our friendship, let’s pretend it never happened, is that what you would do?”

“What else needs to be said? Are you still going to be sulking like this in five years? You’re going to waste your youth on something silly like this? You’re twenty-four years old almost twenty-five, now. Start acting like it. Do you really want him to see you at this age still acting like a child? I’m sure he knows your father is involved in the movie!”

“Mom…” I whine.

“I’m not hearing it, Ida. You have over two five months to figure it out.”

“Fine. I’ll think about it…But if I decide to do this and it all blows up in my face, I’m going into caveman mode and never coming out of my house!” I glance up at my mother who is smiling widely,

“Happy now?” I ask.

“Yes, Ida, this mother is happy.”