Where I Need to Be

I'm Sorry

Melissa watched as Neymar smiled bashfully on her Tv screen, it had been a couple of days since he had left for Paris and she had missed him a lot more than she would care to admit. She was happy that he got his move, she knew he was keen to move out of Messi's shadow and prove himself and she knew he would eventually be the best player in the world, she had no doubts about that.

Melissa had originally met Neymar through a mutual friend and what started out as a friendship slowly turned into something more, well for her anyway she knew that Neymar didn't feel that way about her, he was young and didn't want to settle down anytime soon, which is why she decided to end things with him, before she got herself in any deeper, she had wanted to end things on good terms with Neymar, she would rather have him in her life than not at all.

" Are you still watching this?" Jessica asked rolling her eyes, she knew how hard it was for Melissa to let Neymar go and was a little worried that Melissa was going to struggle without him.

Melissa turned the TV down " I just wanted to listen to his interview" she replied.

" I know you miss him, but this is not good for you, he has moved on you need to do the same" Jessica smiled a little.

Looking back at Neymar, she watched as he posed for photos with his family and friends, then she saw something that broke her heart, Neymar had Bruna by his side again, she was one of the reasons why Neymar didn't want to settle down even though he had kept denying it all the time, she saw the way he smiled at Bruna, never once did he smile at her in the months they had been seeing each other.

" I really want to hate him, but I can't" Melissa sighed as she turned off the Tv, seeing enough of Neymar with Bruna.

Jessica shook her head, she hated Neymar for breaking Melissa's heart she had warned him on more than a few occasions that Melissa's feelings ran deep for him, but he just kept ignoring her, because he was getting what he needed from Melissa no strings attached sex.

" You deserve better than him" Jessica sighed.

Melissa knew Jessica was just siding with her, but it wasn't all Neymar's fault he had been honest with her from the start that he wasn't looking for anything more than casual sex, it wasn't his fault all those nights they spent together made her fall in love with him.

" Ney was always honest with me, it's my own stupid fault for falling in love with a guy that couldn't love me back" Melissa muttered.

Jessica shook her head, she knew Melissa was still in love with Neymar, the way she kept defending him, pretty much confirmed it to her " You still deserve better" she said again, as Melissa's phone vibrated on the table.

Melissa reached for her phone and picked it up, she looked at the screen and sighed, Neymar was calling her, she frowned a little, they had both agreed to cutting all contact with each other for a few weeks, to give them both a chance of moving on. So she didn't understand why he was calling her right now.

" Are you going take the call?" Jessica asked.

Melissa shook her head " No we agreed to no contact and you are right, I really need to move on" she mumbled, turning her phone off so she would not be tempted to talk to Neymar right now.

*** Two Weeks ago***

Melissa smiled as she cuddled closer to Neymar, she knew she was heading for a fall but didn't care because the way Neymar made her feel when she was with him made it all worth it. She lifted her head to stareat him, he smiled tiredly at her.

" Tonight was fun" Neymar smirked as he moved away from Melissa a little.

Fun wasn't the word Melissa wanted to hear but she knew Neymar didn't exactly feel the same way as she did, he had always said from the start their situation would not go anywhere but she still fell anyway, so she had no one to blame but herself.

" It was" Melissa mumbled quietly, as she slowly climbed out bed and searched for her clothes, she usually stayed but tonight she just wanted some distance between them, so she was going home.

Neymar slowly sat up a confused look on his face " Where are you going?" he asked.

Melissa pulled her skirt on " I have an early start tomorrow" she lied, looking around for her shoes.

" You left your shoes downstairs" Neymar said, getting out bed, he knew Melissa had just lied to him and it bothered him more than it should.

Melissa smiled at Neymar " You should go back to bed, I can see myself out" she replied.

Neymar sighed a little he knew Melissa was pushing him away, she tend to that when something was bothering her " Are you really going to leave without telling me what is wrong with you?" he asked.

" There is nothing wrong, I told you I have an early start tomorrow" Melissa replied, not even looking at Neymar, she didn't want him to find out her true feelings for him, because she knew what he would say.

Neymar pulled his shorts and walked towards Melissa " I can always tell when you are lying to me Mel" he smiled slightly.

Melissa groaned as she picked up her phone and bag " I really have to go" she said, rolling her eyes a little at him.

" Not until you tell me what is going on inside that head of yours" Neymar said, standing in front of the door, blocking her path out of the room.

Melissa stared down at the floor, she had been thinking of ending things between them ever since she had heard his transfer rumors, she as happy with how things were between them right now, but she knew that was going to change when he moved to Paris, and she didn't want to end up hating him, and that was highly likely if she kept this going, she wanted a future with him, but he didn't want the same with her and she needed to let him go.

" I think we should end things between us" Melissa whispered.

A few different emotions crossed Neymar's face, shock, hurt, annoyance anger, he didn't understand why Melissa wanted to end things, he liked what they had going " Why?" he asked.

" For different reasons, you are leaving soon, so it makes sense" Melissa replied.

Neymar shook his head and looked down at the floor " Paris is not the other side of the world, we can still see each other" he said quietly.

" I can't keep doing this Neymar it isn't fair on either on us" Melissa said softly.

Taking a step towards Melissa, Neymar reached for her but she quickly took a step back " Do you love me Ney?" she asked, already knowing the answer but she just wanted him to say the words to her, she needed to hear those words.

" I love you, you know I do" Neymar stammered a little nervously.

Melissa smiled bitterly " Are you in Love with me?" she asked.

Neymar looked away from Melissa and shook his head " No" he whispered, not wanting to see the pained look on Melissa's face, he thought they were both on the same page regarding their feelings but clearly not. " I am sorry I can't give you the answer you want" he added with a bitter smile

" That right there is why I have to end this" Melissa replied. " I never planned on falling in love with you, we should never have started something that clearly didn't have a future" she sighed.

Neymar went to hug Melissa but she held up her hand pushing him away from her " I am sorry" he said again, smiling weakly at her.

" Neymar you don't have to say sorry, you have always been totally honest with me" she said, walking towards and kissed his cheek, leaving the room before Neymar could see her tears, she didn't want him to feel guilty over something he had no control over.

Neymar frowned as another of his calls to Melissa went unanswered, they hadn't really spoken in a couple of weeks and he just wanted to make sure she was doing okay, he knew they agreed to not contact each other, but he sort of missed Melissa, he had gotten used to her being around all the time, that now he wasn't seeing her at all was a little strange.

" Ney are you okay?" Bruna asked, she was glad when Neymar had called her saying he wanted her in Paris with him to celebrate his move. After their last break up she had believed they were finally done, but now he appeared to want to be with her again, she wasn't going to let go this time.

Neymar looked up from his phone, he locked it and put it back into his jean pocket " I am good" he smiled, leaning down to steal a quick kiss from her.

" Who were you trying to call?" Bruna asked curiously.

Neymar held his hand out for Bruna " Nobody important" he replied, as he led her back to his friends and family, he had made the right decision moving to Paris, he just couldn't shake the feeling that Melissa was truly done with him, he knew she said she wanted to try and remain friends, but he knew that was unlikely to happen now he was in Paris and she was back in Barcelona.

" You seem a little distracted" Bruna pointed.

Neymar forced a smile on his face " I am fine really, just a little tired it has been a long week" he replied.

" We should have an early night" Bruna suggested with a sly smile.

Neymar laughed a little " Maybe" he replied.

Melissa read the instructions on the back of the box, she couldn't believe she was having to do this, she thought that they had been careful, this couldn't have come at a worst timing, she didn't know what she was going to do if this confirmed what she suspected. Neymar was a good father to his son, but he even said himself he hadn't wanted more kids until he was at least thirty, he was not ready for any type of commitment.

The three minutes felt like the longest minutes of her life, she was scared to look at the results, she would do this alone if she had too, Neymar was not coming back and she would not force him to split his time between Paris and Barcelona, she saw how hard it was trying to split his time for his son and she didn't want to add more stress to him.

Slowly Melissa turned the white stick around and sighed loudly as she stared down at the stick in her hands.