No Halo

The University of Southern California always looked like a scene in a bad teen movie about college. Frat boys were always traveling in packs, talking loudly about parties or sports, wearing the same stupid shorts and tee shirts. Sorority girls traveled in the same way, talking about boys and whatever party their house was throwing over the weekend. Kids wearing all black walked around smoking cigarettes. Girls who looked almost too nerdy walked around reading their text books, and kids with long surfer hair and skateboards whizzed through the walkways, winking at girls passing by like they were the greatest gift to the world.

I hated it when I was taking classes here and now that I teach here, I hated it even more.

“I don’t know why I haven’t transferred yet,” I mumbled to myself as I squeezed between a group of guys spread across the full length of the walkway. Rolling my eyes, I adjusted the backpack over my shoulder and let out a heavy sigh.

I wonder if canceling the first class was a bad idea, I thought to myself as I entered the large campus center and noticed the incredibly long line of already tired college students flowing out of the Starbucks entrance. Rolling my eyes, I turned on my heels and went to head in the direction of the building where I had my class when I felt a body slam into my own.

Gasping, I looked down and watch a shorter girl bounce off of me, her snap back hat hitting the ground as she fell back against the tile floor in a seated position. Kneeling down next to her, I placed my hand on her knee and went to spew out a bunch of questions when the brunette looked at me, right in the eyes.

All of the words I had lined up were knocked down as I took in her stunning blue eyes. Lips parted, I let a small puff of air out and then bit down on my lip, feeling all of the blood in my body rush to my face from how embarrassed I was that this five foot nothing girl had just stole the words from my throat.

Laughing, the brunette grabbed her hat behind her and placed it back on her head, adjusting it a little before looking back up at me and sticking her hand out. “Cameron, nice to meet you.”


I couldn’t hep but laugh as I grabbed her hand and pulled her off of the floor. As she dusted herself off, I rubbed the back of my neck and let out a long stream of air from between my lips. “I’m Matt, sorry for bulldozing you like that.”


“It’s fine man, I wasn’t paying attention. Too pissed off about this ridiculous line.” Cameron huffed as she adjusted her book bag and then the all black watch on her left wrist. “There’s this little no-name coffee shop across campus, if you’re as in need of coffee and impatient as I am.”


Tilting my head to the side I shrugged a shoulder and hummed. “Is it new or…?”

“Nah man, it’s been here the last five years I have,” she let out an embarrassed laugh and then nodded her head toward the doors. “I’ll show you, it’s in the basement of the music building, they have really small acoustic sets there sometimes. It’s a little expensive, but the coffee is great and a good portion of the proceeds help fund the department.”

“Wow,” was all I could say as I mindlessly started following this brunette across the building, running my eyes all over her as I trailed behind her.

Cameron started speaking, telling me a little bit about the small shop and why no one knew about it, but I couldn’t pay attention to a single word she was saying. All I could do was stare at her. I watched the dimples that formed in her cheeks when she smiled. I watched the way her dark brown hair swung as she walked. I watched her plump, deep red lips part, showing her perfectly straight teeth. I watched the way her eyes scanned the people around her, the way the beautiful blue specs shimmered in the bright California sunlight.

I kept running my eyes over her, taking in the americana style flowers that were scattered across her arms. I thought about how many she had, I thought about where they could be. I thought about running my fingers across them, tracing them ever so softly as-

My mind came to a crashing halt as Cameron called out my name. Blinking hard, I looked up and immediately laid my eyes on the front doors to the tiny coffee shop she had been talking about the whole walk here. Shaking my head a little, I apologized and quickly stepped ahead of her and opened the door. Waving her in, she let out a chuckle and gave me a bow as a thank you as she stepped into the small cafe and was greeted by the two people behind the counter.

“What can I get for you, short stuff?” The boy behind the counter snickered as he took a step back just in time to miss Cameron’s thin arm swing at him, her thin fingers balled into a fist. “Watch it, squirt.”


“One more short joke and I’m going to put a hole in every drum you have.” Cameron hissed as she leaned back and pulled her back pack off her back. “Large, almond milk and a shot of espresso,” she ordered and then slapped a ten dollar bill in the boys hand and turned to me. “It’s on me, go ahead.”

Eyes wide, I stuttered for a moment before I pointed to her, “I’ll have the same thing.”

Nodding his head, the boy started working behind the counter as the other girl struck up a conversation with Cameron. As they spoke to each other, I found my eyes traveling around the room. When I noticed the small stage off to the side, I wandered over to it and started inspecting things.

I thought about all of the shows I had played while I was in college. I thought about the tours we went on and the stupid things I had done while in different states. I thought about staying up late to finish papers while chugging beers with all of my friends. I remembered thinking I was a rockstar.

Then, I woke up, we all did.

Brian and Jimmy had already graduated college, Zacky and I were graduating in the summer, and Johnny was entering his junior year. Brian and Jimmy started going one way, Zacky and I another, and Johnny started to think about getting his masters.

So, we broke up.

I didn’t really mind it too much. We still played on the weekends and wrote songs together. We all got full-time jobs and started to settle down. Well, Brian did, the rest of us were still wrapped up in the idea that we were somebodies. We walked around and thought we were gods gift to the world. We thought everyone wanted us, that we were made from gold.

Then Jimmy died.

Reality set in. Our facade fell. We were human. We were just plain human beings. We were immortal, just like everyone else. I just wish there could have been another way for us to realize this. I wish maybe, we could have realized it sooner. That maybe, if we did, everything would be different. Maybe he would be here with us, sending us idiotic texts every night when he had one too many.

“Earth to Matt,” a soft voice crashed through my thoughts. Blinking hard, I turned around and locked my eyes onto her bright blue pools. “You good, dude?”


“Yeah… Just, got caught up in some thoughts and shit.” I sighed as I took the coffee she handed to me and swallowed hard, trying to push all of the memories to the back of my head. “Do you know what time it is, I have a class at-“


“Eleven? I have one too,” She studied me for a moment before her plump red lips turned into a sly smirk. Taking a sip of her coffee, she put her weight on one leg and stuck her hip out. Crossing her arms against her chest, she tapped her finger on the coffee cup and nodded toward me, “What class are you teaching, Professor.”


Eyes wide, I went to speak when her smirk morphed into a huge smile and she jerked her head toward the door. Following behind her, I quickly regained my composure and cleared my throat. “You knew I was a professor because…?”


“Just had a hunch,” she hummed as she looked over at me with sparkling eyes. “So spill, what do you teach? I was going to say you were a part of the music department but since you had no idea about the cafe, that’s out.”

“History,” I whispered, a little embarrassed that my whole entire life had come down to teaching history classes to a bunch of kids that either picked a major they thought was easy or absolute nerds. I guess, I fell into that category. I always found history interesting, a little more than the average human being, so fuck, I was a nerd. At least I looked cool.

Nodding, Cameron sipped her coffee and then looked ahead of us, her eyes running over the large brick buildings surrounding us. “Did you go to school here?”


“Yeah.”


“And you liked it so much you decided to teach here, huh?” She was smirking at me again, and I honestly thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest form it. Hands trembling again, I shrugged one shoulder and sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep my cool.

After I had taken a rather long sip of coffee, I reached into my pocket with my free hand and grabbed my pack of cigarettes. “It was an option,” I pulled one out with my free hand and went to grab my lighter when Cameron stuck her hand over to me, a lighter between her fingers.

Glancing at her, I nodded a thank you and leaned into the flame, waiting until the end of the paper was burning. Pulling her hand away, she lit her own cigarette and then shoved the lighter into her jeans. After a moment of us sucking on our cigarettes, I turned to her and watched as she exhaled the smoke though her nose.

“You didn’t want to leave?” Her blue eyes were a different shade as she looked at me, “You never wanted to try a different city, see some new buildings, meet new people?”

Shrugging, I took a drag from my cigarette and huffed. “I never thought about it to be honest. I traveled a lot at one point and one day I just… I don’t know, I just settled.”

Pursing her lips, the brunette took a long drag from her cigarette and nodded her head. Cameron didn’t continue speaking. Instead, she just sucked on her cigarette and then when she was done, dropped it onto the sidewalk and shoved the heel of her sneaker into it.

Not taking her eyes off of the buildings, she took a sip of her coffee and then adjusted the glasses that sat perfectly on the bridge of her nose. By the way her eyes traced over everything around her, I could tell she was off somewhere in her head. I had only spend the last twenty or so minutes with the girl, but I could tell this wasn’t her.

“You okay?”


“Yeah man, I’m good.” She whispered as she pulled her eyes from the buildings and looked at me. “So, what class are you teaching?” The brunette pulled the door open and let me walk in first. Following me into the building, she stood next to me and looked up, twitching her nose as her eyes adjusted to the stinging fluorescents.

I swear looking into her eyes made my IQ drop at least a hundred points.


When I found my voice again, I rattled off the name of the class and watched as her deep blue eyes shimmered. Nodding her head, she pushed her glasses up again, looked ahead down the hall.

“Well, Professor Sanders,” she smirked as she said my name, “I guess we have a class to be getting to.”