Status: Playing with Words
Save Me
Welcome to Our Family
Jimmy walked in silence beside Lila hoping that she would talk to him without him having to pry it from her. It was always interesting to Jimmy how back and forth Lila was, even as a child it was her against everyone else.
At a very young age Lila had suffered from depression and anxiety. At least that was what they thought it was but as she grew older and more reckless they had been able to give her a proper diagnosis. What Lila suffered from was a mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder.
The family tried to understand it and do their best to be supportive. It was a difficult task given that Lila didn’t fully understand how to take care of herself.
Lila took in a deep breath as her and Jimmy stopped in front of Matt’s house. She loudly exhaled causing Jimmy to perk up. “You alright?”
She nodded her head, “I’m fine. I just haven’t seen Matt since my last hospital stay and I’m really nervous.”
Jimmy smirked and draped his arm around her. “Fuck it. It’s been four years.” He pulled her closer to him. “As long as you don’t go AWAL nobody is going to say anything.” He teased.
The two went back to silence. Lila stared at the house in distress. She couldn’t calm herself down too many memories flowed through her mind. Matt was the one who found her bleeding out on the bathroom floor. He was the one who rushed her to the hospital…and for those reasons Lila felt embarrassed to be in front of him. She didn’t even thank him for saving her life…instead she went through her hospital stay of fourteen days and then disappeared.
“Where were you guys anyways?” Jimmy asked.
Lila snapped out of her thoughts and lightly pushed Jimmy’s arm off of her shoulders. She half-heartedly smiled at him. “We’ve been many places.” She pauses for a second. “Mostly the east coast and no, I won’t tell you were I live.”
Jimmy chuckles. “I wasn’t going to ask.” He lightly grabs Lila’s hand, “C’mon. We’ll go in together. They missed you, Matt isn’t going to say anything about the past and if he does. I’ll show him my muscles.” He teased.
Lila giggled at Jimmy’s stupid comment and continued up the stairs to Matt’s home. Opening the door she says, “I can do this.”
Jimmy pats her on the back, “You got this.”
“Yeah.” She slowly opens the door and is greeted by Matt who is throwing a tennis ball to Bella.
He stops mid-through and looks at her. “Lila?” It’s almost like he thought she was lying when she said she would be there.
Her body tenses. Jimmy rubs her back in a calming manner. “I’ll leave you two to your business.”
Lila nods her head agreeing with him. “Hey.” She reaches her arms out to Matt and he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her.
“God, it’s good to see you.”
“You too.” She mutters into his chest. She lightly pulls away from his grasp. His eyes are shimmering, his dimples are pultruding, and he’s grinning from ear to ear. “It’s been a while.” She nervously scratches the back of her neck. “Look I’m really sor-”
He gently rests his hand on her shoulder. “It’s OK. I understand.”
In that moment Lila feels like she could cry. Her emotions are high and she can’t tell if she’s happy or sad in this very moment. “I know but-”
“Really, Lila. It’s OK. I’m just glad you are here with us. Come on.” He grabs her hand and pulls her to the living-room where everyone is.
A smirk drapes her lips when she sees all of the familiar faces. “Hey.” She gives an awkward wave and quickly walks to the couch to sit beatween Zack and Lexi. She rests her head on Zack’s shoulder. Instantly he wraps his arm around her causing her head to drop to his chest.
“It’s good to see you too.” He kisses the top of her head and gives her a light squeeze. “I’m happy you’re here.” He admits, it wasn’t a lie he really did miss her. She and Lex used to help him raise hell when they were teens. He was a little closer to Lila then Lexi but that was only because Jimmy had Lexi’s attention most of the time.
She always felt close to Zack even before things happened between the two back in the day. He just understood her all of these years. “It’s good to see you too.”
It wasn’t a secret but it never got brought up and if anyone knew that they had a thing in the past, well, Zack would probably never have gotten a chance to be around Lila again.
Johnny raises his hand. “Fine Lila, pretend I don’t exist, like usual”
She shyly waves as if she has resorted back to being a child. “Hey.”
“That’s all I get, Lila I thought we were family!?” He teases. “Fine, I don’t even care.”
Lila chuckles, her and Johnny always had a teasing friendship, they were constantly in battle with one another and it for whatever reason strengthened their relationship.
“So, where the fuck have you guys been?” Brian finally asked. “It’s been what almost five years?”
“Six.” Matt laughed. “They left while we were on tour.”
Lexi threw a pillow at Matt’s head. “This is why we left.” She jokes. “Cause of your dumb ass.”
Jimmy locks his arms around Lexi who is trying to throw another pillow and Matt. “Enough of the fucking pillow throwing. Jesus, Lex. You haven’t changed a bit.” He releases her. “Accept your stupid purple hair.”
Lexi pushes his face with her hand. “You’re right nothing has changed. You still have your stupid face.”
Lila curls up on the couch practically in Zack’s lap causing Matt to look at the two. He doesn’t think much of it considering Lila was like that with all of them. She loved them, and when she loved, she loved hard. There was no in between with Lila.
“Val and I made reservations for dinner tonight. Around seven o’clock…I know we got a couple hours to spare but I didn’t know what your plans were.” He said pointing at the girl’s.
“We’ll probably see dad now that Lila is back.” Lexi pauses and looks over at her twin. “Sound good?”
She nods her head and goes back to closing her eyes. Her thoughts are consuming her all over again and she wants nothing more than to shut it off. She takes in a deep shaky breath and quietly exhales. “Yeah. Um, that sounds good.” Her voice gives her away and instantly Matt feels the need to protect her.
“Do you want me to go with you?” He asks. “I can go.”
Lexi shakes her head no. She knows that inside Lila was screaming for Matt to go but this was something they needed to do. If Matt was there she would be able to turn off her emotions and Lexi knew that Lila needed to feel it.
“Let’s get going.” She looked up at Matt, “Give me your keys.”
“Fuck.” He groaned. He hated Lexi’s driving. “Don’t crash my car. I just got it last month.”
Lexi manically laughed as she grabbed the keys from Matt. “C’mon Lila. Let’s go annihilate Matt’s car.”
At a very young age Lila had suffered from depression and anxiety. At least that was what they thought it was but as she grew older and more reckless they had been able to give her a proper diagnosis. What Lila suffered from was a mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder.
The family tried to understand it and do their best to be supportive. It was a difficult task given that Lila didn’t fully understand how to take care of herself.
Lila took in a deep breath as her and Jimmy stopped in front of Matt’s house. She loudly exhaled causing Jimmy to perk up. “You alright?”
She nodded her head, “I’m fine. I just haven’t seen Matt since my last hospital stay and I’m really nervous.”
Jimmy smirked and draped his arm around her. “Fuck it. It’s been four years.” He pulled her closer to him. “As long as you don’t go AWAL nobody is going to say anything.” He teased.
The two went back to silence. Lila stared at the house in distress. She couldn’t calm herself down too many memories flowed through her mind. Matt was the one who found her bleeding out on the bathroom floor. He was the one who rushed her to the hospital…and for those reasons Lila felt embarrassed to be in front of him. She didn’t even thank him for saving her life…instead she went through her hospital stay of fourteen days and then disappeared.
“Where were you guys anyways?” Jimmy asked.
Lila snapped out of her thoughts and lightly pushed Jimmy’s arm off of her shoulders. She half-heartedly smiled at him. “We’ve been many places.” She pauses for a second. “Mostly the east coast and no, I won’t tell you were I live.”
Jimmy chuckles. “I wasn’t going to ask.” He lightly grabs Lila’s hand, “C’mon. We’ll go in together. They missed you, Matt isn’t going to say anything about the past and if he does. I’ll show him my muscles.” He teased.
Lila giggled at Jimmy’s stupid comment and continued up the stairs to Matt’s home. Opening the door she says, “I can do this.”
Jimmy pats her on the back, “You got this.”
“Yeah.” She slowly opens the door and is greeted by Matt who is throwing a tennis ball to Bella.
He stops mid-through and looks at her. “Lila?” It’s almost like he thought she was lying when she said she would be there.
Her body tenses. Jimmy rubs her back in a calming manner. “I’ll leave you two to your business.”
Lila nods her head agreeing with him. “Hey.” She reaches her arms out to Matt and he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her.
“God, it’s good to see you.”
“You too.” She mutters into his chest. She lightly pulls away from his grasp. His eyes are shimmering, his dimples are pultruding, and he’s grinning from ear to ear. “It’s been a while.” She nervously scratches the back of her neck. “Look I’m really sor-”
He gently rests his hand on her shoulder. “It’s OK. I understand.”
In that moment Lila feels like she could cry. Her emotions are high and she can’t tell if she’s happy or sad in this very moment. “I know but-”
“Really, Lila. It’s OK. I’m just glad you are here with us. Come on.” He grabs her hand and pulls her to the living-room where everyone is.
A smirk drapes her lips when she sees all of the familiar faces. “Hey.” She gives an awkward wave and quickly walks to the couch to sit beatween Zack and Lexi. She rests her head on Zack’s shoulder. Instantly he wraps his arm around her causing her head to drop to his chest.
“It’s good to see you too.” He kisses the top of her head and gives her a light squeeze. “I’m happy you’re here.” He admits, it wasn’t a lie he really did miss her. She and Lex used to help him raise hell when they were teens. He was a little closer to Lila then Lexi but that was only because Jimmy had Lexi’s attention most of the time.
She always felt close to Zack even before things happened between the two back in the day. He just understood her all of these years. “It’s good to see you too.”
It wasn’t a secret but it never got brought up and if anyone knew that they had a thing in the past, well, Zack would probably never have gotten a chance to be around Lila again.
Johnny raises his hand. “Fine Lila, pretend I don’t exist, like usual”
She shyly waves as if she has resorted back to being a child. “Hey.”
“That’s all I get, Lila I thought we were family!?” He teases. “Fine, I don’t even care.”
Lila chuckles, her and Johnny always had a teasing friendship, they were constantly in battle with one another and it for whatever reason strengthened their relationship.
“So, where the fuck have you guys been?” Brian finally asked. “It’s been what almost five years?”
“Six.” Matt laughed. “They left while we were on tour.”
Lexi threw a pillow at Matt’s head. “This is why we left.” She jokes. “Cause of your dumb ass.”
Jimmy locks his arms around Lexi who is trying to throw another pillow and Matt. “Enough of the fucking pillow throwing. Jesus, Lex. You haven’t changed a bit.” He releases her. “Accept your stupid purple hair.”
Lexi pushes his face with her hand. “You’re right nothing has changed. You still have your stupid face.”
Lila curls up on the couch practically in Zack’s lap causing Matt to look at the two. He doesn’t think much of it considering Lila was like that with all of them. She loved them, and when she loved, she loved hard. There was no in between with Lila.
“Val and I made reservations for dinner tonight. Around seven o’clock…I know we got a couple hours to spare but I didn’t know what your plans were.” He said pointing at the girl’s.
“We’ll probably see dad now that Lila is back.” Lexi pauses and looks over at her twin. “Sound good?”
She nods her head and goes back to closing her eyes. Her thoughts are consuming her all over again and she wants nothing more than to shut it off. She takes in a deep shaky breath and quietly exhales. “Yeah. Um, that sounds good.” Her voice gives her away and instantly Matt feels the need to protect her.
“Do you want me to go with you?” He asks. “I can go.”
Lexi shakes her head no. She knows that inside Lila was screaming for Matt to go but this was something they needed to do. If Matt was there she would be able to turn off her emotions and Lexi knew that Lila needed to feel it.
“Let’s get going.” She looked up at Matt, “Give me your keys.”
“Fuck.” He groaned. He hated Lexi’s driving. “Don’t crash my car. I just got it last month.”
Lexi manically laughed as she grabbed the keys from Matt. “C’mon Lila. Let’s go annihilate Matt’s car.”
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I'm not at all trying to glorify mental health issues. I do have BPD and sometimes writing about it helps me like therapy if that makes sense. Sorry if I offend anyone. Thanks for reading! :) Let me know your thoughts!