Status: Playing with Words

Save Me

A Little Fun Never Hurt

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder, is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by unstable relationships with other people, unstable sense of self, and unstable emotions.

Lexi sat in the parking lot of the police station debating on if she should even bail Lila out again. She had the funds to do it but inside she felt that Lila needed to learn a lesson. Lexi feeling defeated hopped out of her car and walked through the door of the police station somewhere she never thought she would be again.

She looked up at the guard and softly said. “I’m looking for Lila Sanders.”

Lila sat against the cell wall staring at her converse. She wasn’t surprised that she ended up in this situation as a matter-o-fact she found it humorous, because honestly she didn’t care. She felt wild and crazy…she felt like this was just another one of her “fun” moments. It’s not like this was the first time she’d been arrested while being in Huntington. It was the first time it happened since she had been diagnosed and in therapy for BPD.

She lost Zack and Johnny at the bar and didn’t even bother attempting to find them. Instead she wandered off with another group of people, leaving the guys incredibly frantic.

Lila sat with her-self for over four hours before anyone came for her. What could she expect? It was Lexi. It’s not like she actually gave a shit about her at least that’s what she thought.
She was shaken by the sound of her cell door opening and a police guard standing there Lexi looking more disappointed than she had in a while.

Her eyes widened. A smile draped her lips happy to see that she wasn’t going to spend the night in jail. She knew she shouldn’t have wondered off and she shouldn’t have done coke with random strangers but at this moment Lila didn’t care. She was to up and manic to care if her siblings would be upset and angry with her.

Lila hopped up like it was nothing. She grabbed her sister’s hand and said. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Lexi shook her hand away from her sister’s as they walked out of the police station. She got in the car with Lila mimicking her actions. Lexi wasn’t sure what to say. She thought they were done with this phase of their lives. She thought Lila was out of this…she was clean for over five years and of course in a moment of panic she thought it was best to lose control and act like they were in high school again.

Lexi slapped Lila’s hand away from the radio. It was loud enough with her thoughts she didn’t need the music to make it worse. “This isn’t party time, Lila.” She tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “This is a huge deal and we need to talk about it.”

Lila chuckled. “There’s nothing to talk about. I was just having a little fun and everything is fine. You need to learn to loosen up every once in a while. Get that stress out of your tiny little body.” She giggles. “Live life to the fullest right? Besides I met a lot of cool people..”

Lexi can barely contain the anger that is pulsating through her body. She knew it wasn’t Lila fully speaking but she knew she needed to get one thing through to Lila. “You scared the fuck out of Johnny and Zack. That’s not fun, Lila. They searched for you for hours they called me scared shitless that you were lost or fucking dead. Lila, they said you were smashed…and now here I am taking care of you like I’m your fucking mother or something.”

Lila rolled her brown eyes honestly not giving a single fuck what her sister was saying. None of it was fully registering in her mind anyways. “Just let me go home and go to sleep. I’ll wake up and deal with it then.” She paused as she leaned her head against the window. “It felt nice to go act my age for once.”

Lexi groaned. “You’re acting like you are in high school this isn’t a slap on the wrist you are an adult now this is a misdemeanor this will be on your record forever. It’s not an MIP where mom and dad can take care of it. Li, Matt and I almost just left you here. You don’t understand what you are doing to us every time you decide you need to have a little fun.” Lexi pulled into Matt’s drive way where they saw Matt standing on the porch. She stopped the car and looked at her sister who she knew was damn well out of her mind. “You’re really fucking with us dude. Dad’s dying…we don’t need to wonder if you’re going to be dead too.”

Lila was not having this conversation not again. She didn’t do anything wrong in her mind. Why was she being attacked for having a little fun? “I’m going to bed. Leave me the fuck alone.” She hopped out of the car and didn’t dare meet eye contact with Matt instead she pushed past him and into the house.

Matt’s eyes met Lexi exhausted ones. “How do you do this? I’m already devastated watching this.”

Lexi sat next Matt on the porch. “Well, at home she sees a counselor twice a week. Her meds don’t work when she drinks so we don’t drink. She was doing so fucking good at home. Matt, this isn’t Lila…it’s too easy for her to fall back into old habits here and with Dad being sick…She’s feeling a lot of things and you know Lila, emotions confuse her. I hate to say this but I think we need to go back home. She's not ready to be here again..”
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