Status: Playing with Words
Save Me
Manipulation = Lila
Matt sat on his leather couch contemplating on going upstairs to talk to Lila. He groaned while resting his feet up on the coffee table. He didn’t know what to do with his sister. Half of him wanted to agree with her and let her stay her time that she planned originally and the other half of him wanted to pack her bags and get her home as soon as possible.
“You’re overthinking.” Lexi says as she sits down next to him. “It’s really not that hard of a choice. We’ll go home.” She pokes his shoulder. “Don’t fall for her trap, Matt. I’ve been watching this since we got back. You don’t understand she is going to play off of your sympathy and the fact that she feels like you abandoned her.” She looked down at her coffee in her cup wondering how far Lila was going to push Matt. “Now is not the time to be a softy.”
He scratched the back of his neck. He heard what she said but he didn’t want to believe that Lila could possibly be manipulating him. Lila was still innocent in the mind to him. “I just…what if we have her see Brian’s mom while she’s here. She’s a therapist and it will give her someone to talk to.”
Lexi set her cup of coffee on side table she turned to face Matt. She needed to be stern with her older brother, seeing the worry and sadness on his features made her feel more upset with Lila. “This is exactly what Lila wanted and you’re falling right into it. You do whatever you think is right, but that girl upstairs does not give a shit about her own feelings so why would she give a shit about yours?” She pauses trying to think of the right words to say. “You weren’t the one picking up the pieces when we first left, Matt. You don’t know what she is capable of.”
Matt sarcastically laughed. “I think you’re being a little fuckin dramatic, Lex.”
Frustrated, Lexi stood to her feet nearly kicking her coffee off the table. She looked Matt directly in the eyes, ready to enlighten Matt on what life had been like in the last few years. She pointed at him getting ready to go into protective mama bear mode.
You see for Lexi this was normal. Lexi had learned how to emotionally detach herself from the situation unlike Matt. She learned long ago how Lila was and she didn’t want to see Matt get hurt like she used to.
“You weren’t there Matt! Do you know in the last year she ended up in the hospital not once but three fucking times? Do you know that she almost fucking killed herself back in April? Killed herself, Matthew!” A sarcastic laugh escaped her lips. “Lila, hasn’t been able to hold a steady job for almost a year. It’s emotionally overwhelming for her to even have a job, Matt. She was put on medication and decided it was a “GREAT” idea to hide the pills and would say that she took them and then you know what Matt? She fucking swallowed them when she had enough to kill herself.” Lexi ran her fingers down her face. “She has the emotions of child! Her going into rehab after her last attempt was the best thing that ever happened to her. She needs to be sober to live a stable life, she can’t just go have a beer with you guys and control herself. You and I damn well know she won’t stay sober here. There is no way! She knows too many people, there are too many memories. She knows it is easier to get drugs and alcohol here because of you fuckers.” She sighs, “And Zack well, he’s fucked because Zack is going to be the next person on her list to get on her side. She’s going to take advantage of their past!” She smacked a hand over her mouth. “Ignore that part. But, it’s true. She will use everyone and pin them against you and make it seem like your fault, believe me Matt I know. It’s what she does. Do I think she knows she’s doing it? No, but she does it. Do you know that I had to completely shut myself off from my emotions and the world just to take care of her? I don’t want that to happen to you. If you think that you can do it, then go ahead. She will drag you down, swallow you whole, and then shit you out like you are nothing. And I am not going to be here to pick up the pieces if you do that. ”
Matt shifted uncomfortable in his seat. “I understand that Lex, but, it’s going to be different this time. She’s going to have friends and family to support her. She’s not going to leave while dad’s sick anyways besides maybe the problem was that she only had one person to lean on.”
Lexi through her hands up in defeat. “Have fucking fun with that Matthew. I’m leaving in three days because I have a life to get back to, you know I have a job! You think you can do better, go for it. Seeing another counselor isn’t going to help she already has one that knows her and that is why she is running from her. She doesn’t like when people get too close so when you do get too close and she starts fucking with your life, have fun with that I’m sure your wife will enjoy that as well. You might as well have adopted a thirteen year old and I really hope Val is ok with that.” She rolled her eyes as she grabbed Matt’s keys from the table.
He curiously looked at her. “Uh…Where are you taking my car?”
She slid the keys in her pocket. “I’m going to see Jimmy because even though Jimmy is bat shit crazy, he seems to be the only sane person around here.”
“You’re overthinking.” Lexi says as she sits down next to him. “It’s really not that hard of a choice. We’ll go home.” She pokes his shoulder. “Don’t fall for her trap, Matt. I’ve been watching this since we got back. You don’t understand she is going to play off of your sympathy and the fact that she feels like you abandoned her.” She looked down at her coffee in her cup wondering how far Lila was going to push Matt. “Now is not the time to be a softy.”
He scratched the back of his neck. He heard what she said but he didn’t want to believe that Lila could possibly be manipulating him. Lila was still innocent in the mind to him. “I just…what if we have her see Brian’s mom while she’s here. She’s a therapist and it will give her someone to talk to.”
Lexi set her cup of coffee on side table she turned to face Matt. She needed to be stern with her older brother, seeing the worry and sadness on his features made her feel more upset with Lila. “This is exactly what Lila wanted and you’re falling right into it. You do whatever you think is right, but that girl upstairs does not give a shit about her own feelings so why would she give a shit about yours?” She pauses trying to think of the right words to say. “You weren’t the one picking up the pieces when we first left, Matt. You don’t know what she is capable of.”
Matt sarcastically laughed. “I think you’re being a little fuckin dramatic, Lex.”
Frustrated, Lexi stood to her feet nearly kicking her coffee off the table. She looked Matt directly in the eyes, ready to enlighten Matt on what life had been like in the last few years. She pointed at him getting ready to go into protective mama bear mode.
You see for Lexi this was normal. Lexi had learned how to emotionally detach herself from the situation unlike Matt. She learned long ago how Lila was and she didn’t want to see Matt get hurt like she used to.
“You weren’t there Matt! Do you know in the last year she ended up in the hospital not once but three fucking times? Do you know that she almost fucking killed herself back in April? Killed herself, Matthew!” A sarcastic laugh escaped her lips. “Lila, hasn’t been able to hold a steady job for almost a year. It’s emotionally overwhelming for her to even have a job, Matt. She was put on medication and decided it was a “GREAT” idea to hide the pills and would say that she took them and then you know what Matt? She fucking swallowed them when she had enough to kill herself.” Lexi ran her fingers down her face. “She has the emotions of child! Her going into rehab after her last attempt was the best thing that ever happened to her. She needs to be sober to live a stable life, she can’t just go have a beer with you guys and control herself. You and I damn well know she won’t stay sober here. There is no way! She knows too many people, there are too many memories. She knows it is easier to get drugs and alcohol here because of you fuckers.” She sighs, “And Zack well, he’s fucked because Zack is going to be the next person on her list to get on her side. She’s going to take advantage of their past!” She smacked a hand over her mouth. “Ignore that part. But, it’s true. She will use everyone and pin them against you and make it seem like your fault, believe me Matt I know. It’s what she does. Do I think she knows she’s doing it? No, but she does it. Do you know that I had to completely shut myself off from my emotions and the world just to take care of her? I don’t want that to happen to you. If you think that you can do it, then go ahead. She will drag you down, swallow you whole, and then shit you out like you are nothing. And I am not going to be here to pick up the pieces if you do that. ”
Matt shifted uncomfortable in his seat. “I understand that Lex, but, it’s going to be different this time. She’s going to have friends and family to support her. She’s not going to leave while dad’s sick anyways besides maybe the problem was that she only had one person to lean on.”
Lexi through her hands up in defeat. “Have fucking fun with that Matthew. I’m leaving in three days because I have a life to get back to, you know I have a job! You think you can do better, go for it. Seeing another counselor isn’t going to help she already has one that knows her and that is why she is running from her. She doesn’t like when people get too close so when you do get too close and she starts fucking with your life, have fun with that I’m sure your wife will enjoy that as well. You might as well have adopted a thirteen year old and I really hope Val is ok with that.” She rolled her eyes as she grabbed Matt’s keys from the table.
He curiously looked at her. “Uh…Where are you taking my car?”
She slid the keys in her pocket. “I’m going to see Jimmy because even though Jimmy is bat shit crazy, he seems to be the only sane person around here.”
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Hey guys! I think I know where I'm going with this for the most part. Leave me a comment let me know if you guys are enjoying this and where its going. Do you think it's a little too dramatic? I'm writing this from some of my life before my BPD was under control so a lot of this are things that happened to me when I was learning how to control myself. Drinking and drug use will probably be a huge part of this along with different forms of self harm because that is what I knew and I don't want to get off track. Anyways thank you for reading! I love that people are reading this.