And Now I'm Drowning

"One hundred seventy four. One hundred seventy five. One hundred and seventy six."

I sat up and looked around. The school hallway was dark and empty except for the cleaning lady who was sweeping the floor.

I layed back down on the floor. I had finished counting all the tiles on the ceiling and was planning to start on the christmas lights.

Nobody was here. Well, at least none of the students. Everybody ran home as soon as the bell rang. But not me.

My name is Rose. And I have thorns.

...That was my attempt at comedy.

I am Rose. I am beautiful. I get along with everybody. I am class clown. I smile. A lot. And I would be at practice right now, or any one of the many clubs I joined to stay away from home; But everything was cancelled. They wanted us to go home and enjoy our last friday before Christmas break.

Fan fucking tastic.

So, I waited with every single one of my friends' rides to come and pick them up. Then I layed down on the floor, and here I am now. Two hours later.

And I still don't want to go home.

I'm sure the cleaning lady would tell ask me to leave, but she doesn't know English.

Good thing she doesn't know that I know Spanish.

But as I saw her start packing up her supplies and heading back to the closet, I knew my time was done.

I sat up and looked at my backpack, mentally willing it to get up and carry it's self away; but seeing as that didn't work, I got up and grabbed my stuff.

I looked around to see if I could find anything to stall me.

Nope.

Just chairs and an empty trash can.

So I turned and headed for the side doors.

I walk home. Everyday. Why? Because I live across the street from my school.

Label me loser now, I really could care less.

It's not like I haven't been called that before.

I bet your thinking "Yea right! You just said you get along with everybody. You must be popular, you must be a prep. You're life is perfect."

Well fuck you.

I never said I was popular. I bet some one hates me. I just haven't met them or they're fake. Whatever.

I just mean I get along with nerds, preps, goths, bitches, jocks, sluts, punks, ghettos and whatever the hell else their is.

I can talk to each one of them and have some thing in common with everyone. Try me.

Enough about me. Let's get back to walking home.

Well, today's mom's night. She'll either be waiting at the house asking what I've been doing, or gone.

My parents aren't divorced, but every body knows what's going on between them.

Rumor has it my mom's cheating on my dad. He tried to win her back for a year, and now he's given up.

Excuse me, but I really don't want to go home to that.

And of course my annoying little brother who just about makes everything ten times worse.

My other little brother and sister just act like spoiled brats and watch their movies.

We're broke but somehow my mom is still shopping at the regular store instead of the cheaper one. I don't get it.

I think I've lost respect for her.

Oh well.

And what's worse?

My little brother stills loves her unconditionally without a doubt. Me? I'm not so sure.

So what happens if they get a divorce and we have to pick who we live with?

I would probably pick my dad, but would he pick mom?

I can't let our family split up, so I'd have to go with him.

And somehow, I still blame her.

So I tramped through our snowy yard thinking of this.

Maybe today will be different.

I burst through the door with a smile. "Helloooo! I'm home!"

..

...

..

No answer.

My heart dropped. The smile was wiped off my face and I dumped my book bag in a chair.

I slowly walked up the stairs to my room, trying not to cry.