When Tragedy Strikes

Brian stood underneath the old oak tree where the gang used to relax and chat before church services had started. He admired old memories as he watched the rain drizzle from the sky. The winds were starting to kick up, and he could have sworn that the trees were slouching a little more than usual. It’s as if the whole universe was mourning Jimmy today.

He could feel the sadness that dripped off of every person that walked past him in all black. He wore a white button up today knowing that Jimmy wouldn’t have wanted a somber feeling on this day. He always said that when he passed away he would want everyone to be wearing costumes and have a barbeque where people laughed and drank beer.

Jimmy was the brightest of them all. Happiness radiated off of him no matter who you were; you always felt it. He smiled even in his darkest days. He’d cheer you on even if you were doing something incredibly dumb and maybe that was a problem, but Jimmy loved to see everyone happy and as long as his insanity made people smile, well, he was completely happy being insane.

Brian smiled when he finally saw Matt’s car pull into the parking lot. He casually walked over to the car seeing that Lucy was struggling to get out of the back seat. He knew her mind was telling her not to get out.

He smiled and opened the car door. “C’mon,” He reached his hand out to hers. “I’ll help.” He frowned when Lucy stepped out of the car. Her make-up was smeared around her bluish green eyes.

Brian lovingly grabbed her into a hug knowing that she didn’t really have anyone here to lean on. Eventually her older brother Josh would be here but until then, he felt the need to take on the protective older brother role. He never had a problem comforting Lucy considering she was always there for him, and in a way he knew it was time to repay her for all of the sloppy drunk nights of getting arrested almost every weekend with Jimmy. Besides, Brian needed the comforting too. Lucy had long forgiven Brian for those sleepless high school nights.

“Where’s Grace?” Brian whispered into her ear.

Lucy gently pulled away from Brian. She wiped her eyes and took in a deep breath attempting to pull herself back together. She knew that today was going to be painful, and she knew that everyone was in the same place as her, feeling lost and confused, wondering, why Jimmy?

“She’s with my Aunt May. I couldn’t bring her…I thought at first it would be a good idea because who am I to deprive her of closure but, she’s four and I also need to protect her from these things.” She couldn’t bring herself to say the words. She couldn’t say that Jimmy had passed it was still too fresh.

Brian rested his hand on Lucy’s shoulder understanding fully what she was trying to say. He half-heartily smiled and smoothly changed the subject. “You know, Jimmy would be making fun of us both right now. Me in my white button up and you in Val’s stiletto’s.”

Lucy lightly chuckled. “Yeah, I’m kinda dressed for the club but you know that’s all that Val had. Otherwise I would have looked like a bum.” She tried to stand steady but her ankles were wiggling and making it difficult to hold her own weight. “I’m going to break something in these.”

Brian smirked as he reached his arm out to help her. “You’re like a baby giraffe right now.”

“You always know how to make a girl feel good about herself.” She teased.

The two began their walk up the path to the old tall white church which seemed like the most dreadful walk they had ever taken together. Usually their walks were full of laughter and chit-chat, but it was not the time for any of that.

Lucy stopped in her tracks causing Brian to jolt back. His brown eyes traced her face seeing worry written on hers. He looked up and caught her gaze staring at the green eyed man who was somberly walking into the church. Zack’s eyes barely caught hers but it was enough to make her feel guilty all over again. Her mind raced back to Zack telling her he would take her to court over their daughter, and how she would pay for not letting him know she existed for over four and a half years.

Brian wrapped an arm around Lucy. “Don’t worry about him. This isn’t about Zack or you. This is to pay our respects to Jimmy and that’s it.” He reminded.

It wasn’t just Zack that was stopping her from being courageous and walking inside those red doors. It was that she was never good at handling strong emotions and she knew when she walked inside those doors that, that was all it would be. Not that she wished people wouldn’t mourn. She herself had never been faced with a death of a loved one before this.

Brian gently nudged her to walk inside the building and just as she suspected, she was over powered by emotions. Her heart wept for Jimmy’s mother who sobbed loudly in the corner of the reception room with her husband at her side. They stared at all of Jimmy’s framed baby pictures that sat on the table next to all of the gifts and flowers that people had brought in hopes of easing the family’s heart ache.

“Please don’t make me go over there…” Lucy whispered through fresh tears. “I can’t be strong for them.” She rested her hand on her chest. “I’m sorry.”

Brian nodded his head. “Go find the guys and Val. I’ll meet up with you OK?”

Lucy didn’t respond. She couldn’t. It was as if someone had their hands around her throat and she was slowly suffocating. Her eyes met Matt’s and all she had to do was get her feet to move but she stood frozen until she saw the service door barely open. Who could have been in there? Everyone was supposed to keep out until the service started.

She sneakily peaked through the slit of the door. She squint her eyes attempting to get a better look at the person. Dark purple hair…

Zack

What was he doing?

Silently and unnoticeably she made her way through the doors. She could hear him sobbing to a closed casket as if Jimmy was still there. Lucy didn’t want to get into his business and she didn’t want to cause a scene but her heart broke for her old lover no matter what they had been through.

She cautiously crept down the aisle, gazing around the large room. She could see the wooden pews were covered with what looked like pamphlets of Jimmy’s short life. She took in a deep breath. Wounds were fresh and it almost felt like this was putting salt in them. Seeing his smiling face made her feel the opposite of what the family was going for. It made her feel devastated. She was still in a clear denial that one of her friends was gone. Inside in a sick way she hoped that this was just another one of Jimmy’s terrible pranks and really he was sitting in jail and just when they thought things couldn’t get worse he’d pop out of know where and pick on them for falling for another one of his looney tricks.

Lucy gently laid her hand on Zack’s trembling shoulder causing him to jolt. He was taken back when he saw that it was Lucy standing there with tears in her eyes. Instead of Zack overreacting and exploding at her once again, he slowly stood to his feet and leaned his head in the crook of Lucy’s neck. She wrapped her arms around him and allowed him to sob, say anything he needed to, to make himself feel better.

“This is so fucked up.” He muttered. “Why…I can’t. I don’t. I don’t want to be here.” He softly spoke. “Lucy. Why?”

She gently rubbed his back and held him a little tighter. “I don’t know, Zack. But you don’t have to do this alone.” She lovingly said. “We’re all here. We’re family. Well get through this together. I promise.”