Under My Skin

The date has consumed Brooklyn’s mind. It’s all she thinks about. It shouldn’t be a big deal because it isn’t a serious date. At least that’s what she’s been telling herself. Judging by how nervous she is, one would say that she doesn’t see it that way.

She needs a distraction and right now there’s one person that she thinks can help with that.

Knowing that Beck is awake – he’s in the kitchen thirty minutes ago – Brooklyn bursts into his room without knocking. Her unexpected move startles her brother who quickly shuts down his laptop. She shoots him a questioning look before she takes a seat on the edge of his bed.

“Sorry. Reflex.” he apologises as he turns his laptop back on. Brooklyn’s relieved to see that he’s not watching anything weird. It’s still fairly early, after all. “What’s up?”

Brooklyn hesitates for a moment. “Did your friend from the band invite you to his manager’s wedding?”

“Rick? Yeah, he did,” Beck answers with a nod. He returns his gaze to the screen of his laptop. “But I’m not going.”

Brooklyn is not sure if whether it’s a good thing that he’s not going or not. On one hand, it’ll be nice to see a familiar face at the wedding but on the other, she knows Beck is going to tease her – for the rest of her life – for going on a date with Niall.

“Wait, how’d you know his manager’s getting married?” Beck asks suddenly, brows furrowing in confusion.

“Oh, uh, he invited Niall and I,” she replies. She can see a smirk slowly tugging at Beck’s mouth so in an attempt to wipe it off of his face, she quickly adds, “As a thank you for the review we wrote a while ago.”

“So, you’re going?”

“Yeah,” Brooklyn nods. Not that she has a choice.

Beck wriggles his eyebrow at her, “With Niall?” His suggestive tone earns him an eye roll – he’s used to that so it doesn’t mean anything to him. “What? He did invite you two, didn’t he?”

“Yes, but you need to stop giving me that look,” Brooklyn commands. Beck lets out a laugh and shrugs, pretending as if he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Brooklyn lies on her back and lolls her head to the side to look at her brother. “Why aren’t you going anyway?”

Although Beck is quick to look away, Brooklyn still catches the blush adorning his cheeks. That piques her interest. So she nudges his thigh with her elbow, forcing him to look at her. Maybe she’ll finally have something to tease him about. “I have a date,” Beck admits sheepishly.

“A date?” Brooklyn repeats, one corner of her mouth curving upwards. “I thought you’re taking a break from the dating world?”

Beck laughs at that. Those were his exact spoken words from a few days ago. He didn’t think they’d be thrown back at him. “Dunno, it just… happened.”

Brooklyn sits up and faces her brother. If the girl manages to make her brother blush, she needs to know her so she can have an ally. “Well, what’s her name?”

Clearing his throat, Beck grabs his mobile phone from the nightstand and unlocks it. Brooklyn watches as he opens his Instagram, scrolls through his following list and finally stops at a girl named Clara Dennis. She takes his phone from his hand and clicks on the selfie so she can get a better look of the girl’s face.

“She’s gorgeous,” Brooklyn comments after she’s finished checking out the girl’s Instagram feed. She hands Beck’s phone back to him. “How’d you know her?”

“Rick’s girlfriend introduced her to me,” Beck answers, short and simple.

“So you like her?”

“Of course I like her,” Beck replies as he puts aside his laptop so he can climb off his bed. Stretching his arms, he adds, “I wouldn’t go on a date with her if I don’t like her.”

Brooklyn stares blankly at the wall in front of her. What Beck just said makes a lot of sense. People wouldn’t go on dates if they don’t have the slightest feeling for the person they’re going out with – unless it’s a blind date, that’s a completely different scenario. That thought brings one particular question to the forefront of Brooklyn’s mind: does Niall like her when he said she should go on a date with him if she loses the bet?

“You know, Bee, I think Niall genuinely likes you,” Beck says all of sudden, snapping her out of her thoughts. She directs her gaze to him as she waits for an explanation. She needs to know what prompts him to say that. He glances through his shoulder and gives his sister a knowing look, “Niall told me about the bet.”

“Of course,” Brooklyn mutters under her breath. She shouldn’t be surprised that Niall has turned to her brother. She can’t help but to wonder what else did those two talk about. Did he mention the date? Probably not because Beck hasn’t brought it up and teased her about it. “Since when did you two become bff?”

“We’re not changing the topic,” Beck replies rather sternly.

“What topic?” Brooklyn decides to play dumb. Beck is having none of it.

“The topic of you and Niall,” he answers. She hates how he always refuses to take the hint and stops talking altogether. But then again, if he does that, he wouldn’t be the annoying twin brother that she grows up with. “I think you still like him, Bee.”

Brooklyn almost chokes on the air she’s breathing. “Are you hearing yourself, Beck?” She asks. He simply shrugs like he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with his statement. “You sound ridiculous.”

Despite the words leaving her mouth, she stops to think about it: does she still like Niall? If yes, then all those efforts she’s put to push her feelings away are in vain. And that’s all because she agreed to make a bet with him – a stupid, ludicrous bet. Although in her defence, she didn’t think she’d lose to him. Worst case scenario, they both lost and no one has to go on a date or spend money on coffee for a year.

Frustrated with her own confusing mind, Brooklyn gets up from Beck’s bed and leaves his room before he can say anything to her. When she returns to her room she notices that she has an unanswered text message from Niall.

I’ll pick u up at 1145. See you then , Cooper !

Even though his text doesn’t necessarily require a reply, she types one anyway: that’s specific.

You’d freak out if I tell ya I’d be comin before 12

He’s absolutely right. At this point, she wouldn’t be ashamed to admit that he knows her well. They have worked together for years anyway so that’s ought to happen.

Brooklyn takes a look at the time and realises that she has less than two hours to get ready. She stares at her small closet. She has a few dresses hung in there, just waiting to be worn. She takes two of them out and places them on her bed. With her hands on her waist, she closes her eyes and pictures herself in those dresses. She can go with the sleeveless dress or she can go with the off-shoulder but short sleeves dress. Both have their own pros and cons, and since she doesn’t have much time to waste, she closes her eyes and picks up whichever her hand chooses, which is the embroidered off-shoulder dress.

Unaware of the time, Brooklyn is shocked when she hears a knock on the door. She’s just about to put on her lipstick when Beck walks into her room. She can see him looking at her through the reflection in the mirror so she kinks an eyebrow at him.

“Niall’s here,” he tells her. Her eyes widen a little – that doesn’t go unnoticed by her brother. “Want me to let him in or should he just stand outside?”

“In,” Brooklyn answers a bit too quickly. She clears her throat. “I mean let him in. You can’t let him stand outside.”

“Riiiight,” Beck chuckles before he disappears to invite Niall inside. She hears his voice getting closer and closer, and Brooklyn can feel her heart thumping against her ribcages.

Grabbing her bag from the drawer near her door, she leaves her room and closes the door behind. Niall has his back on her as he’s talking to Beck so she takes that as an opportunity for her to draw in a deep breath. She also takes that as a chance for her to really look at him without being caught. He’s wearing a dark blue suit, one that fits him well – too well – and she wonders if he saves it for a special occasion the same way she does with her dress.

Eventually, Beck catches Brooklyn staring at Niall through his shoulder and his eyes twinkle with mischief. Brooklyn shoots him a glare, hoping that he won’t say anything that could make things turn weird – as if they aren’t already are.

Once she feels like she’s ready to face him, Brooklyn clears her throat to announce her presence. Startled by the sound, Niall turns around to look at her. He opens his mouth and yet Brooklyn hears nothing coming out of it.

“I-Uh, wow,” he finally says. Behind him, Beck stifles a chuckle. He moves to the kitchen to give those two some space – how kind of him. “You look beautiful, Cooper.”

“Thank you,” she says. She can feel heat creeping up her neck and spreading across her cheeks. This isn’t the first time he’s complimenting her so this shouldn’t be any different. She should just roll her eyes, but something else comes out of her mouth: “You look good too.”

He looks down, then, and chuckles. When his eyes meet her, she’s momentarily stunned. “Careful, you’ll make me blush.”

And the Niall Horan she knows is back. Brooklyn rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Are we ready to go?”

“Eager to get the date started, I see.” He comments, one eyebrow arched at her. She slaps his arm. “Hey, ‘m not complaining.”

“How long is the drive?” Brooklyn asks. She’s glad Niall didn’t say anything about the abrupt change of topic.

“Twenty minutes,” he answers. “Thirty minutes, tops.”

Brooklyn doesn’t know how she’s going to endure a thirty minutes car ride with Niall. She’s been in a car with him before, but never under this circumstance.

“Don’t worry,” he bumps her shoulder with his, a small smile playing at his lips. He must have noticed the worried look on her face. “I made a playlist filled with songs that I knew you’d like. It’d feel like a 5 minutes car ride, I promise ya.”

He’s so considerate – Brooklyn hates it and that’s mostly because it makes it more and more difficult for her to suppress her feelings for him. She’s never been this confused about someone and she reckons this is the worst feeling she’s ever felt.

“That’s very considerate of you,” Brooklyn teases Niall as she opens the door and steps aside to make way for him. Before closing the door, she shouts her goodbye to Beck.

“Well, I do want to impress my date,” he replies with a grin.

She might be rolling her eyes at him but she’s screaming on the inside. She definitely didn’t prepare herself enough for this. This being an extremely charming Niall Horan. She sees him and his stupid smile everyday, hears his ridiculous jokes and laughter on a daily basis, and somehow, right now her heart is thumping like it’s trying to jump out of her chest and run towards him. She doesn’t know what to make of that so she settles for silence as they make their ways to his car.

Niall opens the door to the passenger seat, offers his hand to her and she quietly thanks him when he helps her climb inside his car. It smells like peach, like him. This may be too soon to say, but Brooklyn is positive that this peach scent will be ingrained in her memory along with the little facts about Niall that she manages to garner over the years.

“Y’alright, Cooper?” Niall asks as he puts on his seatbelt.

“Yeah, of course,” she tells him.

Niall gives her a look that says he doesn’t believe her but she’s glad he decides not to interrogate her. He takes out his mobile phone, clicks on something and next thing she knows, a song that she’s heard a few times before replaces the silence. Instead of putting his phone aside, he hands it to Brooklyn.

“What?” She stares at it, confused.

“Take it,” he says. She does as told, but still she doesn’t know why he’s giving it to her. Does he want her to keep it in her purse? She doesn’t think it’d fit. “You can go through the playlist if you’d like. Choose which song you want to listen to.”

Brooklyn takes a look at the playlist – bee cooper – and scrolls through the list. It pains her to admit this but Niall does know her music taste. The playlist is filled with songs that she likes and ends up liking.

She can feel Niall’s eyes on her as he glances at her, probably wondering why she’s so quiet. With her hair tucked behind her ear with bobby pins, she can’t do that thing where she bows her head and lets her hair curtain her face. It’d be helpful if she can do that right now because her cheeks are warming up and she thinks it has everything to do with the way Niall is looking at her when she locks his phone and puts it on her lap.

When the second song ends, a thought pops into Brooklyn’s head. “Can you unlock your phone?” Niall nods and places his thumb on the home button. The screen takes her to the playlist but instead of choosing a song from there, she types something on the search bar and clicks on the first song that shows up.

“I don’t think that’s in the playlist,” Niall points out when the first verse starts playing.

“It’s not,” she replies, to which he nods as he turns up the volume a little so he can pay attention to the lyrics.

The song reminds her of him. She doesn’t tell him that as she can’t risk ruining the moment but the smile playing at his lips tells her that maybe, just maybe he knows.



For once, Brooklyn is glad that Niall isn’t leaving her side.

Although they don’t know anyone apart from the band and their manager, Brooklyn seems to be enjoying herself at the wedding. She won’t admit it, not to a single soul, that she’s enjoying Niall’s company as well – probably more than the wedding itself. She’d like to think that the unlimited alcohol from the open bar helps too.

They have been on the dance floor twice so far and both times they ended up slow dancing around other couples. Finding out that Niall is good at dancing is a pleasant surprise. Apparently it’s one of those things that he chooses to keep to himself because he wants to keep her on her toes, whatever that means.

Brooklyn also discovers that he is a real hit amongst older women. He’s asked to dance with someone’s mums and aunts several times, to which he politely turned down by telling them that he’s on a date with Brooklyn. These people would turn to her and tell her how lucky she is to be with someone as charming as Niall, and she would tell them that she’s not with Niall, not like that.

Even though Niall is adamant about not leaving her side, he couldn’t say no to the grandmother that asked him to dance with her. She stepped on his foot plenty of times but being the endearing individual that he is, he told her it’s okay and that it’s an honour to be able to dance with her. Brooklyn’s pretty sure he’s charmed almost everyone, including her.

“They’re about to perform,” Niall whispers in her ear. Ignoring the shiver that runs down her spine, Brooklyn darts a glance over her shoulder to look at the front and she finds that all of the band members are already on the stage, preparing their instruments. She wonders if they have the same setlist as the one back in the pub. That wouldn’t be appropriate, would it? “D’you wanna leave?”

Brooklyn arches an eyebrow at Niall, shocked by his suggestion. “Thought you said this is the best part?”

“I did,” he admits sheepishly. His cheeks are red but she’s not sure if it’s from the alcohol or something else. “But I was thinking that we should get out for a while? Take a walk or something?”

“Are you trying to get me alone, Horan?” The alcohol has definitely turned her into a much more confident person. That’s not to say that she isn’t usually confident but between the two of them, he’s the one who’s always so sure of himself.

“Guilty.” He laughs, holding both hands up as though to admit defeat. Again, Brooklyn ignores the warmth spreading across her chest. Instead, she convinces herself that it must be the alcohol. “So?”

Brooklyn doesn’t get to mull over his question because as soon as the guitarist starts strumming his guitar and the drummer starts hitting the drum, her mind is made. She can’t stay in here and tortures her eardrums for the second time – third time if you count the time she listened to their album. “Lead the way.”

“Gladly,” Niall grins as he steers her towards the exit.

Once they’re outside, no longer surrounded by a bunch of strangers, they begin their walk. Brooklyn doesn’t know if it can be considered as a walk because all they do is circle around the venue.

“How does it feel like to adored by all women in there?”

“Fantastic, actually,” Niall admits with a laugh. His eyes twinkle each time someone compliments him. “I’m starting to believe that I am charming.”

Brooklyn nudges his shoulder with hers, hoping that it’ll bring him down to earth. “Don’t let them get to your head.”

“Too late,” he replies as a smug grin stretches his lips.

As they walk in silence, Brooklyn realises how much of a bad idea it is to be out here with him. In there she can pretend that her heart isn’t jumping at the sight of him smiling at her or at the sound of his laughter because she can blame it on the excitement buzzing around her. Everyone’s happiness is palpable and it’s easy for her to forget that she and Niall aren’t even a part of the bride or the groom’s family. They make everyone feel welcomed.

But now that they’re by themselves, Brooklyn’s mind is racing with the thoughts of being with Niall the same way people thought they are. The concept of her and Niall as a couple usually repulses her, but today she finds herself thinking of the possibilities of what could have been if she didn’t suppress her feelings for him. If she was a little brave and admitted to him that she had a crush on him instead of letting him know about it through Beck.

Maybe they could have happened because Louis did tell her that Niall used to like her too.

“Do you think they’d notice our absence?” She asks after clearing her throat, an attempt to not let silence and awkwardness take over. She’s also desperate to push those what-ifs to the back of her mind.

“I wanna say yes because I’d like to think that we helped him with this wedding-“ he pauses to look at the beautiful decorations around them, “-but I don’t think so. Everyone’s probably wondering why he’d let an awful band play at their wedding.”

Brooklyn lets out a laugh and agrees with him. The wedding’s pretty grand for someone who manages a new band and the only explanation she can think of is that managing isn’t his main source of income.

“How’re you doing?” Niall asks, all of a sudden. Brooklyn looks at him, brows furrowing in confusion. “You seem… off and unfocused. Is there something bothering you?”

There is.

Brooklyn feels like there are so many unspoken words hanging between them. She’s tried to alleviate the tension by talking to several strangers whom she didn’t even want to talk to whilst simultaneously pretending that she couldn’t feel the tension between her and Niall. Despite knowing that it’s not good to point fingers, Brooklyn blames Beck for this. Had he not pointed out that he thought Niall genuinely likes her and that she still has feelings for Niall, she wouldn’t be reading too much into everything that Niall has said and done today.

What usually is brushed off as nothing is now seen as something. When Niall placed his hand on the small of her back, she almost jumped at the contact and when he ordered her drink at the open bar – a Mojito because he thought it matched her personality – she had a difficult time fighting off the smile that tugged at her lips. Everything he does today tugs at her heartstrings.

One would think it’s the first time he did those things.

Brooklyn is hyperaware of everything now and she hates that. The last thing she needs is for her to overanalyse things between them and makes up something that isn’t even there.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Niall says when his previous question is met with silence. He looks and sounds so sincere that Brooklyn is having second thoughts about keeping things bottled up like she usually does.

“Yeah, I know,” she replies.

As Niall waits for her to say something else, she knows she has two options to choose from. She can either tell the truth or make up a lie.

“Actually, there is something bothering me,” Brooklyn admits, halting in her tracks. She surprises herself when she goes with the former. It feels like she’s experiencing an out-of-body experience when those words leave her mouth.

Niall turns to her, concerned. “Okay,” he nods as he scans her face. “You can tell me, if you’d like.”

Brooklyn takes a few deep breaths. “I was talking to Beck earlier,” she begins. She can’t straightaway delve into the truth, can she? She needs to warm him up first, afraid that he’d die from shock if she were to suddenly tell him that she likes him. “And whilst we’re talking he made me realise something.”

“Beck made you realise something?” Niall raises an eyebrow at her.

Chuckling, she nods. “I know it’s hard to believe, but yes.”

“He can be wise sometimes,” Niall pitches in.

“Yeah,” she agrees. Beck would be walking on air if he knows she agrees with Niall. “Anyway, he pointed out something, uh, about me and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.”

“O-okay.”

Brooklyn fiddles with her fingers, unsure of how to phrase the next sentence. She’s a ball of nerves right now. She finds it incredible how she hasn’t thrown up yet.

“He made me realise that maybe…“ she trails off to squeeze her eyes shut. Her heart is pounding against her chest, reminding her that she’s really doing it, she’s taking a risk after spending years in the warm cocoon of her comfort zone. When she cracks her eyes open, she sees that Niall is patiently waiting for her to finish her sentence. She’s glad that he’s not pushing her to just say whatever it is that’s bothering her and get it over with. “Maybe I still like you.”

Niall doesn’t say anything. He simply stares at her face, his eyes unblinking for a couple of seconds. She didn’t expect him to confess the same thing to her, but she certainly didn’t expect him to stay silent like he’s just been turned into a stone.

“I-Wow,” is what he says when he finally overcomes his shock. He rubs his left eyebrow with his fingers and places his other hand on his hip whilst he tries to think of something else to say.

“I just… I just thought I should let you know,” Brooklyn adds. “You asked me if something’s bothering me and I didn’t want to lie to you. It’s, uh, it’s okay if you want to take some time to process it. I can go back inside first if you’d like some alone time?”

Niall shakes his head. “No, no, you don’t have to go back inside.”

“Oh, okay.”

Brooklyn scrutinises his face as she tries to gauge his reaction. It’s obvious that her confession has thrown him for a loop and it dawns on her then that it’s so unfair for her to spring the information on Niall and expect him to react the way she wants. Whilst she wishes she could take back every word she just said – not because she didn’t mean it but because now is clearly the wrong time to be admitting that she likes him – she knows that’s not possible.

So she settles for the next best thing she can do: “You know what, let’s just forget everything I said. It’s… I clearly have made things awkward between us and that’s the last thing I wanted to happen.”

In fact, it’s the main reason why she bottled up her feelings for him in the first place. Despite the animosity that she often displays when it comes to Niall, she considers him one of her closest friends. Much like her siblings, he’s been there for her whenever she needs him and she’ll never forgive herself if she ruins things between them.

“Okay,” Niall finally speaks after what feels like an eternity of silence from him. He runs his fingers through his hair, his eyes darting from the venue to Brooklyn. “D’you wanna leave?”

“Yeah, sure.” Looks like their date is ending. Brooklyn should be happy, shouldn’t she?

“C’mon,” Niall leads her to his car. Once they’re both inside and the warmth engulfs them, he turns to her. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t have to because when he smiles at her, she knows that she hasn’t ruined anything between them and that’s all she needs to know right now.



It’s a little after 8pm when they arrive at her flat. Although Brooklyn tells Niall that he doesn’t have to get out of his car, he insists on walking her up to her door. It’s a part of the date, he says.

“D’you want to come inside?” Brooklyn asks once she’s unlocked the door. “Beck’s out on a date.”

Niall seems to ponder over her question. “I, uh, I should probably get going.”

Brooklyn’s heart drops as she nods her head understandingly. She hopes her disappointment isn’t showing on her face. “Alright then.”

Niall shoves his hand into the pocket of his suit pants. There’s a hint of hesitancy in his eyes but Brooklyn can no longer tell fact from the fiction anymore – maybe she’s just imagining things again so she brushes it off. “I’ll see you on Monday?”

Nodding, she says, “Monday.”

“Okay.” He takes a few steps back and glances at the stairs. “Good night, Cooper.”

“Good night.”

When he walks away, Brooklyn steps inside and closes the door. She doesn’t know how it’s possible for her chest to feel light but for her heart to feel heavy at the same time. Mortification seeps into her veins when she takes off her heels and plops herself down on the couch.

“What have I done?” She groans to herself.

Alone with her thought, she manages to convince herself that the night would have turned out better if she had just kept her mouth shut. Brooklyn wouldn’t say she hates herself, but at this exact moment, she does. She wishes she could go back in time and prevent herself from telling the truth.

Before Brooklyn can further wallow in self-pity, a knock on the door brings her back to reality.

“Damn it, Beck, why do you always forget your key?” She complains for no one to hear, really, as she makes her way to the door. Brows pinched together, she unlocks the door and twists the knob to open it. It isn’t Beck standing in front of her. “Niall?” He rubs the back of his neck, a sheepish smile forming on his lips. “Did you forget something?”

“You could say that.” He replies. “I, uh, forgot to tell you that I had a good time.”

“Oh,” she breathes. Her cheeks are red, she’s sure of that, but there’s no point in hiding it. Niall already knows about her feelings. “I had a good time too.”

Brooklyn can feel her pulse racing when Niall leans forward. A lock of her hair tumbles in front of her face, resting just in front of her cheek. With one swift slide of his thumb, it’s brushed out of the way and tucked behind her ear. The time stands still when his lips touch her cheek and her breath is caught in her throat. As his mouth leaves the side of her face, the exact spot where they came into contact burns and tingles.

“Good night, Bee,” he speaks, barely a whisper as he draws back and turns to leave.