I Didn't Have the Balls

“Imagine…”: Realizing your feelings for Danny and confronting him about them.

“I’m so sick of living with him,” you groaned as you stuffed the crust of your pizza into your mouth. You sipped your drink, a burp escaping. “You have no idea how awful it is.”

Jack chuckled. “Try living with Merritt. Did you know he talks in his sleep?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes. I lived with you both for a year. You snore, he talks.”

“I do not snore!” Jack yelled, pointing at you accusingly.

“Yeah, yeah.” You brushed off his complaint, cleaning up your dishes and moving them to the kitchen sink. “Danny just doesn’t know when to quit with his hook-ups,” you huffed, slouching against the back of the couch.

Jack studied you, his eyebrows furrowing in an attempt to read your facial expression. He took a large big of pizza, his eyes still locked on you as you watched the TV in front of you. Swallowing, Jack asked, “Do you think you’re annoyed with Danny because you’re jealous?”

Your eyes grew wide at the sound of Jack’s words, mouth agape slightly. “W-What?”

He laughed one of those laughs that makes him hunch over. For the first time in your one and a half years of friendship, he had caught you off guard. “I’m not saying you like him bu-“

“I do not like Danny,” you told him through gritted teeth. Your hand involuntarily touched your lips, the words sounding almost as though you were trying to convince yourself more than your best friend. “I mean, I couldn’t possib-“

“Oh, but it’s possible!” Merritt announced as he flung his body over the back of the couch, his arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer to his side. You could smell the musky scent of his body wash from the shower. It comforted you in a fatherly sort of way. You sighed, settling your head on his shoulder.

“How long have you been listening to our conversation?” Jack asked him. “You said you were heading to bed to read.”

“Yeah, but I’m starting a new mystery novel and it takes a bit for the action to come,” Merritt confessed as he pulled you closer. “So, why can’t it be possible for you to like our local grumpy cat?”

You giggled at Merritt’s ever so clever poke at Danny’s attitude. “I don’t know. I mean, for instance, he isn’t like me.”

“No he is not,” Merritt confirmed, shaking his head. “You’re beautiful, sexy even.” You blushed lightly. “You’re not into shutting people and their ideas down. You two have more fights than an old married couple.”

“Exactly,” you said, standing up and turning toward your two family members. “How can I liked someone who constant picks fights with me?”

Merritt and Jack looked at each other, a twinkle in their eyes shining bright. “Maybe it’s because he likes you,” Jack sang. Merritt smiled in agreement.

“Don’t be stupid,” you told them as you crossed your arms. “I’m not playing this game of whether or not Danny likes me. A relationship can’t happen with us when we are in the process of joining The Eye.”

“Are you kidding me?” Merritt yelled, standing up and gripping your shoulders. “He is rubbing relationships in your face!” He shook you lightly for emphasis. “They might be one-night stands but he is literally rubbing the fact that he is having sex in your face, (Y/N)!”

Merritt’s hands left your shoulders and drew a path down your arms, holding your small hands in his large ones. “What if that’s it?” you spoke softly as you looked down at your interlocking hands. “What if he doesn’t like me? What if he just wants me for a one-night stand?”

“Then we’ll kill him,” Jack stated bluntly, standing up to comfort you. He placed his hand on your back, rubbing it soothingly.

You looked between the two men, your eyes slightly watering from their compassionate gestures. You took in deep breath, a smile forming as you exhaled. “I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about him in a “more than friends” way.”

“I’m gonna be sick!” Merritt and Jack announced, pretending to throw up. You laughed, telling them to stop acting like children.

“As long as you’re happy, (Y/N),” Jack smiled.

Merritt nodded. “If you know what you want, flaunt it. Wait, that’s not it. If you know what you want, get it. Okay, I have no idea what millennials say anymore.”

You laughed loudly, wrapping your arms around them. “I love you guys.”

“Love you, too,” they choked out, fingers clawing at your arms to let them breathe.

~~

You walked slowly back to your apartment from Jack and Merritt’s, thinking about how in the world you would tell Danny that you like him. You felt like a teenager again. Back in those days, though, a note in class or text message made this so much easier. You didn’t need to tell your crush you liked them to their face. Adulting couldn’t possibly get any harder, could it?

You reached for the doorknob of your shared apartment, your fingers wrapping around the cold medal as you thought about the ways Danny would reject you.

“(Y/N),” Danny breathed, his voice imbedded with shock. “I was just coming out to look for you. You didn’t answer Jack’s texts so he called me.”

“What?” You questioned, pulling your phone out of your jacket pocket. You managed to turn a 10 minute walk into a 30 minute walk. “Oh, I guess I got kind of sidetracked.”

Danny narrowed his eyebrows at you, unsure if you were telling the truth. You gave him a nervous smile as you pushed past him into the apartment, texting Jack quickly to apologize for his worrying.

Danny watched as you removed your jacket, flinging it across the back of an arm chair. He shook his head as he grabbed it and hung it in its proper place on the coat rack.

You sat on the couch, playing with your fingers. “Can we talk?” you blurted without much thought.

“Um, uh, yeah,” he managed to say, clearing his throat as he sat down beside you

The two of you sat in silence for a moment as rain started to sound throughout the apartment. You sighed, grateful to not be out there now. Again, Danny cleared his throat. “Oh, sorry!” you told him. “I got distracted by the sound of the rain.”

Out of character, Danny laughed. “It’s not a problem,” he said, a smile playing on his lips. You stared at those lips, beautifully plump, imagining how they would feel against your own.

“So!” you shouted, hitting your knees with the palms of your hands to truly knock you back to reality. “Let’s skip right to the topic, Daniel,” you said, using his full name, something you normally did when you were angry with him. “Look, I like you, Danny. I know you have all these stupid flings but I don’t think aby of th-“

“I like you, too,” Danny blurted, interrupting your confession. You stared back at him, pure shock drenched across your face. Danny chuckled. “I never told you because I was afraid of rejection. How childish of me to wait around for you to express your feelings first.”

You laughed lightly, knowing exactly what Danny was talking about. “But, what about those girls?”

“Like you said, their flings,” Danny reassured you. “But, they aren’t you, (Y/N).” He took your hands in his. “I’m sorry I didn’t have the balls to tell you.”

Absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around Danny’s neck, leaning into him with all the courage you’ve ever had. Slowly, he kissed you, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you close.

“I’m pretty sure you have the balls for some other things,” you snickered as you breathlessly pulled away from the illusionist.

“Oh, I do,” he confirmed for you with the raise of an eyebrow and a smirk that made your heart almost stop.