Rough Waters

Kurt was the most amazing man in the world. Of this, Adam was certain. He was gorgeous, super smart, so talented in several different areas of expertise, so kind, and so caring, and so fiercely determined once he set his mind on something.

Kurt swore loudly about something as he worked. Yep, even when he spoke like a sailor he was the most beautiful creature Adam had ever beheld.

Adam was lying cramped up in the backseat with his head in Elliott’s lap, wishing it were Kurt’s instead. Sebastian was in the front passenger seat, watching Kurt work and offering whatever help Kurt asked of him (which presently was just keeping a flashlight shone where Kurt was trying to work.)

Adam shuddered suddenly, causing Elliott to jump slightly. He couldn’t stop shivering. He was so cold, and they wouldn’t even let him cover up at all.

“Just hang on, man,” Elliott murmured to him, placing a comforting hand on his shaking shoulder, “You’re gonna be okay. Just hang in there, okay?”

Adam nodded. Rather than meet his friend’s gaze, he stared upward at the ceiling,which was moving curiously. The whole car felt like it was spinning, and Adam was nervous to try looking anywhere else, lest he get sick.

“Hey, if we get this thing going maybe we’ll be able to listen to some music on the stereo,” Elliott suggested.

“Pretty sure all the radio stations are down,” Sebastian responded.

“Actually, we could see if anyone’s using the radio to communicate,” Kurt said, “That might be a good idea.”

Adam’s idea wasn’t half as good as that, but he still tried. “We could sing if there’s no music.”

“Yeah, we could do that,” Elliott encouraged him.

“God, you guys are so gay,” Sebastian said.

“Yeah...we are...so? What’s that got to do with anything?” Adam was confused.

“Seb, hush,” Kurt said, “And keep that light steady, will you? I think I’ve almost got this figured out.”

“Sebastian, you’re gay, too,” Adam continued.

“Not as gay as you,” Sebastian replied.

“Seb, I’m pretty sure you’ve sucked a lot more dick than either me or Adam,” Elliott returned playfully.

“Would you guys knock it off!” Kurt admonished them, “Adam’s confused, and he’s not gonna get all your messing around.”

“I’m not confused,” Adam responded, “I’m gay. You of all people should know that.”

Sebastian and Elliott laughed rather uproariously at that, which Adam didn’t really understand because he hadn’t meant it as a joke. Still, their laughter was infectious, so he couldn’t help but laugh a bit himself.

“Adam, that’s not what I meant! Seb, the light!” Kurt shouted over their racket. Not long after, the car engine sounded, and everyone cheered. The ceiling danced excitedly.

“Alright! Kurt, you’re fucking awesome!” Elliott said.

“Yeah! ...so amazing, Kurt.” Adam wanted to tell Kurt he was the most incredible man in the world, but all the laughter and the cheering had really worn him out. “Kurt, you’re so brilliant...And incredible… and I just… I love you so much…”

“That was pretty kickass,” Sebastian said.

“Thanks, you guys, and I love you, too, Adam,” Kurt responded.

“I can drive if you wanna ride back here with Adam,” Elliott offered.

Adam desperately hoped Kurt would take him up on that, but he found himself unable to voice that. He was going to pass out again, no matter how hard he struggled against it.

--

Adam was drowning, and it seemed like the harder he struggled, the further he descended into the dark, icy depths. He was so cold, and his body ached deep into his bones; he was so tired. Part of him felt tempted to give up and give in.

But then terror seized him. He didn’t want to die, and definitely not like this. He struggled and fought with all his might, and he gasped for air. In doing so, he took in a lungful of water. Oh God, he was going to die! A current ripped at his failing body, suddenly dragging him away.

Suddenly, there was a light in the dark, a small and distant, but powerful source of the warmth and the life that he so desperately needed. He flailed towards it.

He could hear a voice. It was a beautiful voice, and he soon recognized vaguely a melody. It was singing, beckoning him onward. It was the most beautiful voice he’d ever heard, and slowly but surely as it pulled him out of the depths, he recognized its source and the song it sang.

“Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting,” Kurt sang, “Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been clear.” His fingers ran gently through Adam’s hair.

Relief flooded through Adam along with intense affection. He was still here with Kurt, with their friends. He smiled up at Kurt.

“Here comes the sun,” they all sang, and Adam joined them quietly, “Here comes the sun, and I say it’s all right.”

Kurt seemed surprised but pleased to hear Adam. He looked down at Adam with such love and affection.

“Here comes the sun...Here comes the sun. It’s all right. It’s all right.”

--

“That seemed very appropriate,” Sebastian commented, “Considering the sun’s about to come up.”

“Well, I had thought of that actually when I suggested it,” Kurt responded a bit sheepishly, “but it’s one of mine and Adam’s favorites.”

“It’s a good song,” Elliott said, yawning.

“It’s a bloody good song,” Adam agreed.

“‘Bloody good’, eh?” Kurt said, slightly amused at the emphatic word choice, “Somebody woke up in a mood.”

“A good mood,” Adam replied, “I’m happy that I woke up.”

“Damn, I’d be happy to go to sleep,” Sebastian said. To Elliott, he said, not at all for the first time, “C’mon, you need to pull over and let me drive for a while before you pass out at the wheel and kill us all.”

“Okay, but you literally just said you wanted to go to sleep,” Elliott retorted.

“So? Pretty sure we all do, but obviously we’re not…” Kurt tuned out the rest of what Sebastian said as well as whatever Elliott said next, deciding to let them bicker uninterrupted for a while.

He returned his attention to Adam who still lay with his head in Kurt’s lap. He placed a hand to Adam’s forehead again, and he tried to mask the worry from showing on his face. Adam was still way too hot. “Happy you woke up, huh? I’d think you’d wanna sleep through this as much as possible.”

Adam shook his head, and tears started to shine in his otherwise dulled blue eyes. “I mean I’m glad to be alive. I didn’t know if I’d wake up. I still don’t—”

“Shhhh.” Kurt tried to soothe him, and he couldn’t deny that his attempts to quiet Adam also came from a selfish place. He couldn’t face the all too distinct possibility that Adam could be taken from him swiftly and suddenly. It had never felt more real before, and it hurt him so badly that he felt like he could maybe literally die from the pain. It felt like his heart was literally broken… And that was just from imagining losing Adam.

“I don’t wanna leave you, Kurt,” Adam said, clinging to him, “I love you so much.”

“I know, love, I know,” Kurt responded, and as much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, he wished Adam would be quiet again. He couldn’t handle this. He just wasn’t strong enough. “I love you, too. So, so much.”

Adam started to shiver again, really violently, and he made a pitiful, whimpering sound. Kurt gently stroked his head, moving his hair back away from his forehead, running his fingers delicately through the blond curls. “Shhh, it’s okay, baby. Just rest. We have to be getting close to a hospital by now.” God, he hoped.

“Kurt, I—” Adam’s voice was barely above a whisper now, “I dreamt that I was dying but you saved me. Thank you for saving me, love.”

God damn it, it wasn’t fair. Here this sweet, wonderful man was thanking him for saving his life in a goddamn dream, and Kurt couldn’t do anything for him to save his actual, real life. If there was a God and Kurt had been wrong about His nonexistence for all of these years then He was a cruel, sadistic bastard. Adam Crawford didn’t deserve this, not any of it, and Kurt could see no good reason for it to be happening to them.

His boyfriend’s quiet, shaking voice cut through Kurt’s furious thoughts. “I’m scared, Kurt,” Adam confessed.

“I know, love,” Kurt replied, “I am, too.”