Survivor

“That day was supposed to be a good day. That day I turned 21, I went out clubbing, I had a few drinks and got drunk. Not drunk enough to forget. I remember it clear as day. I stumbled down the street late at night. I stumbled around, stopping to let the bile that burned in throat exit my mouth. I coughed and looked down to see that it landed in front of my feet. I remember myself sighing, and looking up to keep walking. I wiped my mouth and continued to stumble. A hand wrapped itself around my mouth and my body went into shock. The other hand slithered around my waist like a snake ready to eat their meal. I was pulled into a fat chest and stomach. I kicked my moved my arms around, trying to escape and call for help. The hand around my mouth became tighter as I felt a pinch in my neck. I remember tears falling down my face, I remember the disgusting whisper telling me that I would like what happened. I remember feeling my body heat up as I began to sweat and squirm. My vagina ached in desperation of pleasure. But that was my body, not my mind. The hands let go and I dropped to the ground. Two figures, one bulky and one skinny. I'll never get those figures out of my head… I'll never forget one ripping off my clothes while the other kissed my neck. I'll never forget the fear I felt if I moved, or resisted. These people were stronger than me, they had power over me. Tears fell from my eyes and sobs emitted from my mouth as I figured out the sex of one of my molesters. Male. His penis penetrated me with a jolt of pain. I screamed begging him to stop. I remember my walls attempting to stretch around him. The pain that stays with me today. I remember feeling the blood from my broken hymen leave me. I was turned into a rag doll, my only purpose was for sex. My back arched from pleasure. Pleasure that I didn't want to receive. My body was not my mind. It will never be my mind again. None of the pain stopped after he exited me and released on my body. The pain didn't stop when they left the bloody scene. The pain didn't stop when the ambulance gave me a trauma blanket. It didn’t stop when I woke up in the hospital from my attempt of my life. And the pain definitely didn't stop when I came here. Is this how I'm going to be for the rest of my life? Used for men's pleasure? Is that was women are good for? If so, I can't associate myself with them. I am now afraid of men.”