The Things That You Do

Pushing a hand back through her hair, Alexa shifted slightly, her blue eye glancing towards the screen of the laptop which sat in the middle of the bed ahead of her. It was late, after her conversation with Andres, she had been quick to make her way back to her apartment, but she couldn’t get it off of her mind, something which had led to her video calling Poppy, wanting somebody to talk to. She knew what her friend would say, the chances were that Poppy would tell her that it was for the best that she and Andres had curtailed whatever it was that was happening between the two of them, but still she wanted to call, even if she knew what was coming. A part of her merely wanted to talk it through out loud.

Making herself slightly more comfortable, she attempted to flatten down her messy blonde hair slightly before Poppy’s face appeared on the screen, something which made her sigh a little in relief. “You’re still awake” she breathed.

“Just” Poppy replied through a small yawn “But it is pretty late. Is this something that can wait?” she asked.

Alexa shrugged. “I just wanted to talk to someone” she mused “Things between me and Andres...they didn’t quite work out and I was hoping I could talk to you, but if it’s too late...”

“You and Andres broke up?” Poppy interrupted, her voice more than slightly surprised.

Alexa blinked a couple of times, surprised by the interruption, before she shook her head. “I wouldn’t call it that” she mumbled “I mean, things between us, they never really got to the exclusive stage, but he started to ask about things between me and Leo, and once that conversation started, it was only going to end one way” she added, playing with her hair shyly.

Poppy watched her for a second before she let out a light sigh. “You told him you had feelings for Leo?” she asked tentatively. She knew that it was a sore spot, after Lionel had told her that he was dating someone else, Alexa had been particularly reluctant to discuss her feelings towards the argentine, but Poppy knew that they hadn’t quite faded, even if Alexa had started to keep herself away from him. The look that she got on her face whenever he came up in conversation still spoke volumes.

“I couldn’t lie to him about it” Alexa replied as though it was the most obvious thing in the world “He didn’t deserve that” she added.

Poppy nodded before she quirked a sympathetic smile. “You did the right thing” she mused “I mean, I know that that isn’t what you want to hear right now, and I know that you really liked Andres, but it was the right thing to do. You’ve liked Leo for a long time and that’s not something which is just going to go away overnight, and Andres deserved to know that. It was the best thing, Alexa, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now” she explained.

Alexa glanced at the laptop screen for a second, quietly thinking over Poppy’s words, before she shook her head. “I liked him, Pop” she mumbled.

“I know you did” Poppy mused sympathetically.

“Why did I have to meet him now?” Alexa posed, her voice more than a little frustrated as a few tears appeared in her eyes. She knew that she couldn’t change it, what had happened between her and Andres wasn’t something that she could fix quickly, and it frustrated her. She liked him, being around Andres had been easy and had made her smile, and she hated that it had slipped away as quickly as it had. “If I had met him a couple of months from now...” she trailed off ruefully.

Poppy shook her head. “I’m sorry, Alexa” she mused softly.

Alexa let out a small groan, her hands wiping her eyes, but she didn’t say anything.

“Have you thought about talking to Leo?”

Alexa jumped, slightly surprised by the sound of Poppy’s voice, before she lifted her head, peeking at the camera. “What?” she breathed.

“I know how off the timing is” Poppy quipped defensively “I mean, you and Andres have just, for lack of a better phrase, broken up, and then there’s what happened with your padre, and I know it is a lot to be thinking about right now, but I think it might help you to feel better in long run” she noted tentatively. She didn’t want to push Alexa, after the way that she had gotten hurt the last time, the last thing she wanted was to nudge her into something which was only going to see her get hurt again, but she thought that it was the right call, even if it did end with Lionel telling her that he didn’t quite feel the same way about her that she did about him. It was the only way that she could get closure.

Alexa frowned. “Poppy...”

“It’s hanging over you” Poppy interjected “Even more so now that Leo’s back in your life, and I think it would help in the long run, even if in the short term it hurts. You’re not happy, Alexa, you’re still hung up on him, and that’s not going to just go away. I know that the timing is off, but you can’t avoid it forever. Maybe you just need to get it out there, explain it to him, and then you might feel a little better” she explained.

Alexa shook her head. “What would I even say?” she mumbled.

Poppy shrugged. “I don’t know” she noted “But I think you have to say something. It’s not fair on either of you if you don’t. He has no idea what happened between you, Alexa, and you’re not going to move on if the specter of Leo is hanging over you. It’s going to suck, but you might just have to get through it” she added.

Alexa stared at her hands for a moment, thinking over Poppy’s words, before she shook her head. “I almost hate that Marco called him” she admitted quietly “I mean, he’s been great. He’s been a comfort that I’ve needed, but him being back around...I was getting good at avoiding this” she babbled with a nervous laugh.

Poppy offered her another understanding smile, but didn’t say anything, something which made Alexa shake her head. “I should let you go” she mused “I mean, it’s getting pretty late” she added.

“You sure?” Poppy asked “I can handle being tired tomorrow if there’s something else you’d like to talk about” she added.

Alexa shook her head. “It’s OK” she noted “I should let you sleep. Buenos noches, Poppy” she added with a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Poppy hesitated, immediately recognizing the smile as forced, before she shook her head. “You’ll call me if you need anything, right?” she posed “I mean, I am going to be back in a couple of weeks, but if you need me to be back before that, I can be. Just say the word, OK?” she added.

Alexa nodded. “I will do” she noted.

Poppy nodded. “Goodnight, Alexa” she mused before she ended the call.

Alexa stared at the blank screen for a moment before she allowed herself to fall back, her head landing on the pillows behind her as she thought over Poppy’s words. She knew that she was right, telling Andres about her feelings for Lionel had been the right thing to do, even if it had hurt, but the idea of telling Lionel worried her, even if she knew that Poppy had a point. The idea of explaining what had happened between the two of them was, to her mind at least, just another way for her to end up hurt.