Year 3

I've had almost a week to think about things, and I still have no idea what to do. I think I caught feelings for the girl from track. I've talked with a couple of my friends about this and the plan right now is to text her tonight. I was supposed to ask her to hang out yesterday after track, just to like, hang out at some point in the future, but I wimped out. I couldn't do it. She is super stoked about skydiving and met this dude who also skydives, and I think they've been texting. And I'm SO SAD. Like, I'm so jealous and my heart sinks and it's terrible. But I think I'll text her tonight to hang out, but I'm scared of the response I'll get, or even if I'll get one at all. I'm meeting one of my friends tonight again to talk about everything, cause I literally am lost. I've talked to my girlfriend about needing time and space to evaluate our relationship. This girl from track makes me want to be a better person. I honestly don't think she likes me, but I think being in a relationship with someone like her would make me happier than the relationship I'm currently in. but I'm not completely sure.

I've been drowning my sorrows in pints of ice cream, and this has been eating me alive. I had an exam today and literally could not focus or study effectively cause all I could think about was her. Like, everything. Butterflies in my stomach, a skip in my step, makes my heart skip a beat, always on my mind, getting jealous if she's talking to someone else, hoping to see her on the way to class, always smiling when I'm with her, breaking into a smile when I see her, just, everything really. I mean, I felt all this with my current girlfriend when I first met her, so I'm really torn.

I guess I'll find out tonight when I send the text..