Year 3

So I sent the text that night and she responded, but she said she was "super busy." I tried to push a little bit, but not so much that it turned out to be creepy but she kind of kept avoiding it. I was talking with my friend when I was texting her and I was overthinking everything. I felt extremely anxious and like, frazzled. I haven't said anything so far to imply that I like her, and at this point honestly, I just want to be friends with her by the end of the quarter, because she's graduating and will disappear from my life forever if I don't become friends with her now and I'll be very sad because she's a totally amazing person. She hasn't responded to my previous text though, so that's no bueno. Hopefully I'll see her on Tuesday if she shows up.

Went to an amusement park yesterday with my girlfriend to celebrate her birthday so that was fun. Spent the day riding rollercoasters and eating super unhealthy foods. I still don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like I need more time. I think I've pretty much come to a conclusion, but I just can't decide when or how to take a break from our relationship. I still like her, but I legit need time to invest on myself.

I think the biggest thing for me right now is I don't see myself as an interesting person and I want to do things I would enjoy. Being with her makes me feel safe if I don't do something I enjoy, like "I can always just hang out with her." I think she's like that safety net that I need to lose for a bit to understand exactly what it's like to be me. I think it'd be best for me to do things I want to do and meet new people. I guess we'll see. I just want to be fair to her.