Year 3

I got bored and started reading my chronicled junior year of high school and got reminded that I had a very similar situation back then as well. I was madly crushing on this girl, and I even told her how I felt, and I was struggling to let go of my feelings. Reading that story made me realize that if I got over that, I could get over this girl. I'm super bummed out that we couldn't keep in contact/become better friends, but things work out I suppose.

Went to a kickback with some co-workers yesterday. It was the first kickback that I've been to, and I was super nervous about going because it's generally not my scene. I went with one of my friends (the girl I've been talking to about all my problems), so going with her helped me. I also ran into one of my other friends that I met last year, so that was cool to catch up with him again. But once we got to the party, I felt like leaving immediately. I became anxious and just felt uncomfortable. Luckily, my friend that I went with felt like leaving early, so we left early. I went for a run around midnight alone to clear my head and just embrace the silence. It was eerie, yet calming. Probably won't go to another kickback, it just wasn't my thing.

I've decided to stay with my girlfriend. I've changed the way I feel about her I think. Like, in a good way. This process benefited our relationship, and made me really appreciate her and I'm super happy with the way it turned out. This entire experience was a bit of a rough patch, but I think I have become a better person from it, and our relationship, in my opinion, is better than before.