Better for You

'So, I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes,
All I know is I don't know, how to be something you miss.
I never thought we'd have a last kiss.
Never imagined we'd end, like, this.
Your name, forever the name on my lips.
Just like our last kiss,
Forever the name on my lips.'

The soft melody of Taylor Swift's Last Kiss played in my ears, eventually fading out as it came to an end. I had been listening to sad love songs on the walk back to my dorm, my feelings relating to them. On one hand I felt free; like I had a weight off of my shoulders. Living in a new country had changed me and my outlook on life, I wanted to be free but I felt like Mike was dragging me down; it was like he had invisible strings attached to me. But now I had cut off the strings and broken free.

The other hand to this wasn't as positive. Mike had been a big part of my life for over a year, and so ending this still hurt. I was suddenly alone in this world; I had always had a safety net with Mike, if anything was messed up then I could fall back onto him, but now I was alone and had to fend for myself. He was my last connection with my life in England and now that was gone.

But the more that I thought about it the more that I realized that Mike and I weren't right for each other. The feelings that I had for him weren’t of a deep love, I had been telling him the truth when I told him that I got over it; I got over our relationship without even realising it. Subconsciously my mind went back to the conversation that I had with Harry a few days ago where I told him that I didn’t think that Mike and I would last; maybe I was more aware that our relationship was doomed than I thought I was.

As I made it closer to my dorm the songs had switched to an even more relative song than the one that I had been listening to before; Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie.

I hummed along softly, while listening to the song. I made it to my door and pulled out the key. After a few failed attempts of trying to open up my door, due to my shaking hands, I managed to open it. Once I was inside I immediately dropped my bag on the floor and headed towards my wardrobe.

I picked out Mike's jumper that I had taken with me when I first moved to America. I had never been the type of person to sleep in my boyfriend's clothes, but right now I needed the comforting scent of Mike’s cologne.

I sat down on my bed, and curled into a ball, considering watching a sad movie; however my body seemed to be locked into this position on my bed. I simply stared up at the ceiling in the room, as music played through my ears, however I wasn't able to concentrate on a single word that was sung.

I must have been lying in that position for at least an hour, when Abby walked into our room with a smug grin and finally bought me back into reality. "Where have you been?" I asked in a monotone.

"Nowhere." Abby replied casually, and I knew that she was lying. I had caught on that every time Abby would say a lie when I asked her where she'd been she was with Harry. I felt the familiar pinch in the pit of my stomach and swallowed the lump in my throat. "You need to get ready." Abby instructed and I shot her a weird look.

"Why?" I questioned, not remembering any plans for tonight.

"Because we're going to the frat house..." Abby answered, moving around the room as she changed into her outfit. I stared down at my outfit, ripped jeans and a hoodie; Mike's hoodie. I closed my eyes and rocked my body back and forth as if it would get rid of the thought.

"I don't really feel like going out tonight." I replied quietly, making Abby whip her head around to face me with a shocked expression.

"Why don't you want to go out?" Abby pushed, moving towards me cautiously.

"Because Mike and I just broke up." I answered, my eyes flickering around the room to avoid Abby's expression.

"I'm so sorry Izzy." Abby said, sitting down beside me and hugging me tightly. I nodded against her neck, before Abby pulled back and held my arms at an arm distance. "You know what you need to do? Go out to get the break-up off of your mind!" Abby suggested and I laughed, shaking my head at her.

"Thanks, but I've kind of made plans to watch 'The Notebook' while eating an entire tub of Ben and Jerry's Ice cream..." I told her and Abby chuckled, shaking her head stubbornly.

"I'm not taking no as an answer Izzy!" Abby protested and I raised my eyebrows at her. "I'm not!" Abby cleared and I rolled my eyes at her. "Come on Izzy! It'll so much fun, I promise you! Pleeease! For me?" Abby pleaded, pouting at me. I threw my body back onto the bed and rubbed my face with the palms of my hands. “It’ll be the distraction that you need, I promise.”

I sighed, "fine." I conceded, looking at Abby who was smiling gleefully at me.

"Really?" She checked, still grinning a huge grin which showed off her pearly whites.

"Yes, anything to get you off of my case!" I grumbled, getting up and taking off Mike's jumper, to reveal my Aztec printed top.

"Pleeease can I put some make-up on you? I promise, it will look nice!" Abby begged and I nodded my head at her, sitting down by the dressing table as Abby clapped her hands and immediately went to work.

After ten minutes of Abby working the make-up, I was finally allowed to look in the mirror. I opened my eyes and was shocked at how I looked. I never really wore a lot of make-up, and so wearing this much made me look so different. My skin looked so even and flawless; my eyes looked even more blue with the brown smoky eye makeup and eye liner. I inspected every inch of my face, taking in its new look.

"It looks so good!" I praised turning around to find a very pleased and slightly arrogant looking Abby.

"What can I say? I work magic!" Abby joked and I rolled my eyes, getting up putting on some grey vans and placing my phone in my pocket. "Ready to go?" Abby asked and I nodded my head as we made our way out of the house.

We began walking to the frat house, and Abby and I both checked our phones before putting them away in favour of a conversation. "So what happened between you and Mike?" Abby began, and I sighed, running a hand through my blonde waves.

"We just grew apart. We've just been so far apart for so long that we're now worlds apart, and there's not much that we could have done to take away the distance. That kiss was like a wakeup call; it made me realise that I don’t feel the same way about him that I used to." I told Abby and she nodded as she acknowledged my statement.

"Yeah, I hate to say it, but long distance relationships often don’t last." Abby commented, throwing an arm over my shoulder. "So how are you feeling?" Abby asked, as she began to type a text as we neared a corner.

"Ok I guess..." I replied, pretending that there wasn't an internal battle being fought. In my heart I knew that Mike wasn’t the one for me and I knew it in my head but at the same time he had been a huge part of my life for the past year and part of my head and heart was still hung up on that.

"You'll be over him soon, all it takes is time." Abby promised as we turned the corner and looked ahead towards the frat house in the distance, which didn't have any lights on.

"How come there aren't any lights on?" I asked confused.

"Oh, I never mentioned there being a party tonight; I just wanted you to come and hang out with Harry and I..." Abby told me as my heart fluttered and deflated at the same time. It fluttered at the thought of being around Harry, but deflated in fear of seeing Harry all over Abby.

Although I had never seen how Abby and Harry together, so I had no idea how they around each other, I still knew that there was something suspicious about the amount of time that they had been spending together. "Oh, are um, are you two dating or something?" I asked as I tried to sound casual and contain my jealousy, which I had no idea where it came from. I didn't like Harry in that way... Did I? No; of course I don’t like Harry; I was just being protective of Abby because I know what he’s like, that has to be the reason.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Abby exclaimed, with wide eyes and humour in her voice. "Harry doesn't date."

"What do you mean? Why not?" I asked and Abby shrugged her shoulders, her eyes still showing her bewilderment from my earlier question.

"I think that something happened, but he doesn't really open up about it to anyone so..." Abby explained as we got closer to the frat house and I noticed Harry waiting outside.

"Hey!" Abby greeted, as we walked up to Harry who wore a mischievous grin on his face.

"Hello Abby and Izzy." Harry replied, giving us both a small smirk, which I playfully rolled my eyes at.

Harry opened up the door to the frat house and turned the lights on as loads of people suddenly jumped up and yelled, "Surprise!" I jumped in shock at all of the faces, and noticed banners saying 'birthday girl' and realized that it was a surprise birthday party.

"You guys did this for me?" I asked Harry and Abby as my heart swelled and I felt slightly guilty. I had thought that they had been seeing each other, when in reality they were planning this!

"Yeah, it's no big deal." Harry shrugged it off, and I shook my head at him and gave him a massive hug.

My body immediately warmed as Harry's arm slipped around my waist. "It is a big deal, it means a lot to me." I whispered into his ear noticing goosebumps form on his neck, before pulling away to hug Abby.

"Thank you so much." I whispered into her ear and then pulled away to give everyone else a huge grin. "And thank you to everyone else in this room!" I thanked and everyone else just smiled back at me warmly.

I made my way over to Andy who was surrounded by all of my other closest friends. "Hey birthday girl!" Andy greeted and I grinned at her, fluttering my eyelashes playfully.

"Technically it's not my birthday for another..." I began as I glance down at the time on my phone which read 9, "3 hours!"

"Oh, whatever!" Niall butted in. "The point is that it’s your birthday soon and we're celebrating it now; so as far as we're concerned you're the birthday girl!" I grinned at Niall playfully and he elbowed me playfully in the ribs in return.

"So, why isn't your famous boyfriend here?" Louis asked casually. He and Mike had gotten along very well and Louis probably just wanted to hang out with him again. He then covered his mouth and shot me a sorry look as he must have remembered Mike kissing Lacy. "Sorry, and for what it’s worth, Lacy isn't here today, Abby made extra sure that she wouldn't be!" Louis apologised.

"Aha, don't worry... But um, Mike and I finished things today; so that will be my excuse for getting super drunk!" I told them, trying to add the joke at the end to lighten up the mood.

"I thought that you didn't drink?" Liam asked.

"I don't, but tonight I need to." I replied and he nodded his head understandingly. Louis and Niall both smiled menacingly as they grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the stool of liquor.

"Now, if you're going to drink, then you're going to drink the right way." Louis instructed as he poured a shot into a short glass.

"Isn't that supposed to be disgusting?" I asked, wrinkling my nose as I smelt the alcohol.

"Yeah, but it'll do the trick; trust me." Niall answered and I shrugged my shoulders, leant back and downed the drink. I wrinkled my nose as I swallowed the disgusting tasting liquid and it burned my throat. However, it gave me a buzz of energy and I was beginning to feel the weight of loneliness on my chest disappear.

After a couple more shots, Louis poured me another shot, with an even stronger alcohol; however my body welcomed it as I chugged it down and the now familiar sting burned down my throat. My face cringed at the taste and my feet stumbled a little, the alcohol already having an effect. "Woah, I think you might want to slow down now" Niall told me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder to try and steady me.

I blinked a little as the room started blurring a little and after deciding that Niall was right I slumped back against the wall. “Where’s Abby?” I asked Niall as he took a sip from his beer.

“I think I saw her going outside a few minutes ago” Niall answered and I nodded and made my way outside, only tripping over my feet a couple of times.

As I made it outside I was welcomed by the cool air and a few people from my law class hanging out in a circle. I frowned as I squinted my eyes at the people; they’re not Abby. So where is Abby then?

I started walking around and found a dark shed; could Abby be in here? I opened the door and a strong scent hit me, but I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. “Abby?” I called into the shed, but no sound was made in response so I sighed and closed the door.

I made my way over to a tree, giving up on finding Abby and instead sat down on its roots. I huffed and crossed my legs, bounding my legs a little.

"Izzy?" Harry asked, surprised, as he came outside and joined me as I sat underneath the familiar tree that I had sat under the first time that I had been here. I laughed as I remembered how angry I had been at Harry and Lacy’s rudeness, and now Harry had just thrown me a surprise birthday; so much for first impressions.

"You ok?" Harry asked warily as he sat down next to me. Harry frowned as he leaned towards me and sniffed, "are you drunk?" Harry asked, shock filling his tone and also something else... Disappointment?

"Yep." I answered, popping the 'p' as I looked away and blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"It's been a long day." I sighed and looked over to Harry, whose eyes were probing me to continue, however I didn’t feel like talking about Mike right now and not to Harry.

"I thought you didn’t drink" Harry stated silently, almost to himself and I nodded my head, staring off into the distance straight ahead of me.

“I don’t, I probably won’t again either.” I mumbled. A silence took over us, and I gulped audibly, preparing myself to ask Harry a question that I needed to ask. "Is there something going on between you and Abby?" I don’t know why it mattered so much to me but I just needed to know.

"No, why would you think that?" Harry questioned curiously.

"It's just that you two have been spending a lot of time together recently." I explained, and Harry turned to face me, his eyes absorbing every inch of my face.

“Are you jealous Izzy Hartley?” He asked with a hint of humour and something else in his eyes.

Blood gushed to my face and I have never been so grateful that it was dark outside. “N-no, of course not! No jeez, I was just wondering, you know” I rambled, painfully aware of what a mess I was making out of myself.

"You look so different with makeup on." He stated, and judging from the reaction on his face, I don't think that he meant to say it either.

"Um, thanks?" I asked and Harry leaned in closer to me. I knew where this was going, but I wasn’t ready for that. As Harry leaned in closer to me I rested my hand on his chest, gently pushing him back. “I broke up with Mike today” I stated and Harry’s eyes lit up before a frown took over his face.

“You’re not ready” He whispered, pulling back and getting ready to stand up, but I grabbed his hand to stop him. Electricity burned up my hand at the contact, causing my hand to let go of his arm.

“Please don’t leave me Harry, I don’t want to be alone right now” I told him quietly and Harry nodded, tensely wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me to his side.

“I like you Izzy” Harry told me after few seconds of silence. I turned my face to look up at him and found him staring at me intently; damn he looked hot right now. “I’ll wait for you” he said and my body tensed at his words; was he saying what I thought he was?

Before I could ask what he meant by his words Abby came outside and started walking towards Harry and I. "Hey, uhm, it’s present time!” Abby told me and I smiled at her as I got up and walked towards the house with Harry close on my trail.