Better for You

Harry and I had fallen asleep after watching clueless, with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and my head resting on his bare chest. My eyes began fluttering open as I awoke for the first time since that night without a certain face haunting my mind. A smile crept across my face as I looked up at Harry and his sleeping form, he looked so innocent when asleep, like he could never hurt a fly.

Harry’s body shifted and his lips parted as he uttered, “you should take a picture; it would last longer!” Something crossed between a snort and laugh left my lips as I swatted his arm, and laid my head back down on his chest.

“I don’t want to get up.” I murmured as I began tracing the patterns of his tattoos that were scattered across his chest, wondering what the stories were behind the words and images.

“Me neither.” He answered, as his eyes slowly flickered open, and adjusted to the brightness of the room. “You have any plans today?” He asked and I shook my head.

“Nope; I’m free as a bird.” I answered, as Harry chuckled huskily, and I raised my head to look at him with my eyebrows raised. He looked so effortlessly perfect after waking up, with his matted bed hair and sleepy green eyes, which had flecks of gold in them in this light.

“You’re eyes are so beautiful.” Harry whispered, as he stroked a piece of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear. The small action was so intimate that a blush began creeping onto my face, causing me to get up from the bed and put some distance between us as I began picking out an outfit.

“Do you have any plans?” I asked in return.

“I’m meeting up with Zayn and Lacy.” He answered and I noticeably stiffened, as my face twitched a bit at the mention of their names. “I would invite you with us; but I have a feeling that I know what your answer would be…” Harry trailed off and I nodded. “You really don’t like them, do you?” Harry asked, with a hint of amusement in his voice.

I turned around to look at Harry as I replied, “I don’t really know Zayn, so I don't really dislike him, But Lacy’s just mean.”

“Yeah, Lacy isn’t always the nicest person to be with.” Harry answered and I nodded my head slowly.

“What’s your deal with her?” I asked, trying to make my voice sound as genuine as I could.

“It’s nothing really. We just hook up every so often.” Harry replied casually and I nodded stiffly at his nonchalant voice. I knew that I was beginning to like Harry more than I should and the thought of him with Lacy didn’t sit right with me.

“Cool.” I answered rigidly, which was met with Harry’s deep laugh that somehow resonated through me. “What?”

“Are you jealous?” Harry asked and I shook my head rapidly.

“No, no, no; just-no. I just really don’t like her.” I replied and Harry laughed again, mumbling a sarcastic “sure” under his breath.

I turned around and stared at my wardrobe when the thought came to me of finally going to the gym. I dressed in pink hem cut shorts and a tiger tank-top with some blue nike trainers, then quickly putting my hair up into a messy bun.

“I thought that you weren’t going out today?” Harry asked, getting out of bed himself, and putting his white t-shirt on, then his ridiculously tight skinny jeans.

“I decided that I should finally go to the gym.” I replied, with my back facing Harry as I began getting changed.

“You don’t need to go to the gym, your body is perfect the way that it is.” Harry commented causing my heart to warm.

“Well thank you, but I actually really like going to the gym.” I answered, turning around to face Harry as I began putting on my trainers.

“How? Wouldn’t you rather just stay at home?” Harry asked. Of course I would rather stay at home and watch another episode of Suits but I knew that I needed to exercise to stay healthy.

“Doesn’t mean that I should” I replied, as I went to grab my bag, packing a towel and water bottle in it. As Harry and I walked out of the room we fell into a stride together, with our fingers brushing against each other every so often, causing my stomach to flip each and every time.

“Do you want a lift there?” Harry offered and I nodded my head, as we made our way to Harry’s car.

After a quick car journey, discussing Clueless, with Harry complaining that it was too inevitable and me arguing back that it was simply a classic and that nothing he said would change my mind, we made it to the gym.

“Well, thanks for the lift; I had a lot of fun yesterday.” I commented, and Harry nodded in agreement. I flashed Harry a quick smile and wave before I got out of his car and headed into the gym.

After signing up for the gym’s membership, I made my way towards the treadmill and plugged in my ear phones, allowing my gym playlist to flow through my ears as I began running.

After 20 minutes of the treadmill, my back was incredibly moist and I was feeling very thirsty as I decided to fill up my water bottle.

I made my way to the corner of the room where the water fountain was, and held down the button as I filled up my bottle with shaking hands from the adrenaline coursing through me. After I removed my bottle I felt a tap on my shoulder, making me jump, spilling water over me, as I turned around to come face to face with Louis.

“Jeez Louis, you made jump!” I exclaimed, placing my right hand over my racing heart.

“Sorry.” He apologized. “I didn’t know that you came here?”

“Yeah, it’s my first time coming here; I’d been meaning to come for ages.” I answered and Louis nodded, as I moved out of the way to allow Louis to fill up his bottle.

“So what machine are you gonna use?” Louis asked as he removed his water bottle from the fountain.

“Um, that one over there.” I said, pointing towards the rowing machine.

“Ok, I’ll join you.” Louis replied, following me over to the rowing machine.

After a long work-out session with Louis, I was completely fatigued. “I – think – I’m done.” I said, in between huffs, as I took a swig from my bottle.

“Yeah, I’m surprised - that you - lasted that long.” Louis replied, as we got up from the cycling machine and I wiped my forehead and back with the towel. We then stretched our muscles, and then walked out of the gym.

“Are you going to the party tonight?” Louis asked as we walked outside into the warm humid air.

“I might do.”

“Ok, well if you do then I’ll see you then.” Louis replied, and we exchanged an awkward hug, not wanting to get too close as we were both pretty sweaty, and then walked in our different directions.

I plugged in my ear phones, listening to my playlist of Beyoncé songs, as Sorry came up and I grinned, having to hold back mouthing the words as I made my way back to the dorm. I looked at my watch on my wrist and huffed, feeling really hungry when I realized that it was around lunch time.

I walked into my dorm, unplugging my earphones as I spotted Abby, Andy and Niall all hanging out in our dorm. “Hey Izzy, we’re gonna go out for lunch in a bit, do you wanna come with?” Abby asked and I nodded my head as I dumped my bag on the floor.

“Yes, I’m starving; but first I need to hit the showers; I’m a sweaty mess right now!” I informed them and Abby grimaced playfully and I smiled at them playfully as I grabbed my toiletries and a new outfit as I made my way to the showers.

After a quick shower I dressed into black high waisted jeans and a floral half top. I padded back to the dorm bare-footed as I forgot to bring a new pair of shoes, and my towel wrapped around my hair. When I got inside my dorm I quickly put on some socks and some shoes. I quickly towel dried my hair and then put my hair back up into a messy bun, before deciding that I looked decent enough to go out.

“You ready to go now? I’m starving!” Niall whined and I laughed, nodding my head as I grabbed my bag.

“Yep, let’s go.” I replied and Niall’s face lit up as we left the room and made our way down the stairs.

“So where are we going?” I asked, falling into stride with Andy as Abby and Niall walked ahead of us.

“That cute place that we went to for lunch the other day” Andy replied, as she looped her arm around mine and smiled at me.

After a very nice lunch, we all went back to Andy’s place and hung out for a while, just talking. “So Izzy, how’s the Harry thing going on?” The inevitable question came from Niall’s lips. I looked down and blushed as Abby chuckled.

“I'm pretty sure that Izzy and Harry are actually going somewhere.” Abby commented, and I nodded my head. Abby must catch on pretty fast, as I hadn’t told a soul about my feelings towards Harry.

“Really?” Niall checked, and I nodded. Niall shot Andy a wary look, while Andy just kept her eyes glued to the floor. “Do um; do you know about Harry and Zayn’s reputation?” Niall asked, and Andy noticeably stiffened at the mention of Zayn’s name.

“Yeah, but Harry’s different.” I told them and Niall watched me cautiously, and nodded his head slowly. “He told me he’d wait for me.” I confessed and their eyes widened.

“Wait what? When did this happen?” Abby asked, as he hand grabbed my arm.

“At my party. He tried to kiss me but I told that he wasn’t ready so he said he’d wait for me.” I explained and Abby seemed pleasantly surprised while Andy remained deep in thought. “Do you think that means anything?” I asked.

“I’d say it means something, but I wouldn’t hold Harry to it; you know how he is.” Abby replied, smiling supportively.

“Anyway, are you guys going to come to the party tonight?” I asked, changing the subject to a much lighter one.

“Is that even a question?” Niall responded and I chucked.

“Well, I might actually come to this one.” I responded causing Abby to smile and clap her hands together excitedly.

“Yey! You haven’t come in ages! It’s going to be so much fun!” Abby then shot up from her spot. “I need to change! Niall can you come with?” Abby asked, pouting at Niall. Niall looked conflicted, but eventually nodded, and followed Abby out of the room.

“So are you going to get changed?” I asked Andy, feeling the room become quite tense now that it was just the two of us.

“Nah, I can’t really be bothered!” Andy replied, grinning. Her face then straightened to a more serious one as she got up from her spot on the floor and sat next to me on her bed. “Izzy, I feel like I need to tell you something.” Andy said slowly and seriously.

“Um, ok. What do you need to tell me then?” I asked, wondering what she needed to tell me that was so important. Knowing how the last conversation had gone with Niall, Abby and Andy, my senses told me that it would probably be about Harry, and it probably wouldn’t be good.

“It’s not about Harry.” She began and I felt relief flood me. “It’s about Zayn.” She said and I nodded stiffly, as I ran my hands up and down my thighs nervously. From what I've heard Zayn and Harry are very alike, so this must be some kind of warning for Harry.

“What about Zayn?” I pushed and Andy inhaled a deep breath, preparing herself for whatever it was that she needed to say.

“Abby told you about how Zayn dumped that girl for not sleeping with him, right?” Andy asked and I just nodded. “Well, that girl was me.” Andy replied and my eyes widened in realization.

“We’d been going out for like a month and Zayn kept on pushing me to ‘give it up’. But what I hadn’t told him was that I was still a virgin… I wanted to wait till I was sure that I wanted to lose it to him before we went that far… Then one time we were making-out and Zayn wanted to take it further and, you know; but I pushed him off of me. He then got really, really mad and started shouting at me, saying that I was ‘too frigid’ for him to deal with and broke up with me.” Andy confessed and my heart sunk in my chest from the pain that carried in her voice. I put my hand over hers sympathetically and she gave me a sad smile.

“I really liked him, and then we were just over. I was so hurt; I missed him after one day without him, so I stupidly went to the Frat house just to see him. Hell, I was willing to have sex with him if it meant that he would take me back.” Andy paused as a tear rolled down her face, and she brushed it away with her fingertip. “But when I got there he was nowhere to be seen, so I went upstairs, trying to find him. I went into his room, thinking that he’d be there. And he was. He was lying on the bed with Lacy straddling his waist and sucking his face off. I was so-so hurt. He’d already moved on and I hadn’t even begun.” Andy finished, as more tears streamed down her face. Seeing her like this, she looked so vulnerable that it hurt to look at her.

“Does he know that you saw him with Lacy?” I asked her as I hugged her tightly and she shook her head against my neck. I rubbed her back as she sobbed, until her tears ran dry and her voice no longer shook.

“I’m not saying that Harry will do to you what Zayn did to me but just, be careful” Andy told me as she looked me straight in the eyes.

“I will” I promised her, I knew that I needed to proceed with caution when it came to Harry, as hard as that may be for myself.

“So do you like Harry then?” Abby asked, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“Yeah, he’s actually really nice once you get past his attitude.” I replied, and Andy looked at me with some kind of knowing smile which I chose to ignore as I tried to tame my hair with my hands before giving up and throwing it up in a bun.

“You guys ready to party?” Abby asked as she rushed burst through the door. Andy and I nodded our heads.

When we got to the party, we immediately went to where Louis and Liam were sitting. “Hey.” We greeted and they both smiled at us and beckoned us over.

“Hey, where have you guys been?” Louis asked as we all sat down.

“Nowhere really.” Niall answered, while my eyes flickered around the room to find Harry. When they did, they noticeably sunk. There he was, sitting in a circle with Zayn to his right and Lacy sitting on his lap. Someone said something, causing Harry to look over to Lacy laughing, as they leaned in, towards each other.

I was imagining this. I had to be imagining this. Harry wouldn’t kiss Lacy? No? No. No. This was all some weird hallucination, I would blink and he’d be glaring at her. But, despite how many times I blinked, it didn’t stop Harry from smashing his lips onto Lacy’s. Their lips moved in sync with each other, and I felt betrayal burning in the depths of my stomach.

“I’m sorry.” I heard Andy whisper, I looked over to her and she was staring ahead at Lacy and Harry. I nodded slowly, turning back to face them just as they pulled apart and Harry grinned at Zayn, fist bumping him. Harry’s eyes then flickered around the room absentmindedly, as they met mine they widened. Harry quickly got to his feet and made his way over to where I was standing.

My feet seemed to be stuck on the ground, I was literally paralysed with shock. As he came closer my mind suddenly unfroze as I shot up and ran out of the house, and back to the familiar tree that I went to the last time that a guy I liked kissed Lacy.

It seemed that Lacy was always there to steal the guy I liked. My legs were so tired from running as I reached the tree, especially after my work-out this morning. Just as I was about to let my guard down, and let the tears escape I heard someone panting.

My head shot up and sure enough an out of breath Harry appeared. “Izzy.” He breathed, walking over to me.

“Not now Harry.” I warned Harry, getting up and distancing myself from him.

“But, I don’t get-“ Harry began, but I quickly interrupted him.

“You don’t get why I’m mad? I’m mad because you just kissed Lacy. You went and kissed the girl you know that I have a problem with! Why? Why would you do that? You know what happened with Mike and her so why the hell would you then repeat that?” I shouted; I was angry. I was livid, bubbling over with anger.

“Why are you so pissed off Izzy? It’s not like you’re my girlfriend or anything!” Harry shouted back, venom on his words that stung my fresh wounds. It’s not that I had assumed that I was his girlfriend or anything; but I thought that we had something.

“My god! You really are something aren’t you? I thought that you were a player, but you are so much worse. You’re a player, and a dick and just an ass.” I shouted.

“Oh my fuck, you actually did think that we were something didn’t you?” Harry asked, with amusement and shock in his voice.

“You told me you would “wait for me” Harry, I just didn’t realize that messed with everyone within a 10 mile radius.” I snapped and Harry laughed. With everything that was going on, he actually found amusement in this?

“I thought that you already knew; I DON’T DATE!” Harry shouted back, making an emphasis on his last 3 words. “You make it seem like I led you on Izzy, but this was all your own doing. It’s not my fault that you’re obsessed with me.” Harry spat out and I took a step back from him; I was obsessed with him?

“Excuse me? I’m obsessed with you? You’re the one who shows up at my dorm in the middle of the night drunk. You’re the one who takes me out for trips in the evenings out of the blue. You’re the one who tells me that they’ll wait for me. So no, don’t you dare try and pretend that this thing between us is one-sided because that’s a lie and you know it.” I ranted, pointing my finger into his chest out of anger at the end. How dare he call me obsessed with him!

“Izzy, I do that to everyone; don’t act as though you’re some special exception. You’re just the same as everyone else except I don’t see any other girls overreacting and storming off when I kiss someone.” Harry quipped, having the nerve to put cross his hands over his chest. Who does he think he is?

“Well you know what? Why don’t you just go back to the party with ‘everyone else’ and go back to kissing Lacy, because that’s where you belong. I was right. I don’t belong in your world. I never did.” I replied, hurt clear in every word. I wanted to cling onto the anger with everything that I had, but it was slipping through my grasp quickly; and the soul crushing hurt was replacing it.

Harry didn’t say anything, as he turned around and walked away; back into the direction of the party. As soon as Harry’s silhouette was no longer visible tears leaked down my face. I covered my face with my hands and allowed them to fall, hoping that they’d take my stupid feelings for Harry with them. What had I done, I thought that I had been careful with my feelings for Harry but apparently I had begun falling for him nonetheless.

Falling for Harry was a risky game, which Harry would always win; every time, walking away with my heart crushed under his dirty boots.