Better for You

I let out what must have been my tenth yawn in the past ten minutes as Mr Richards then began to wrap up his lecture. It was a nine o’clock lecture and I had gotten little sleep last night, my mind kept on running to the events from the beach yesterday and I had awoken at 5 am to the picture of me picking up my father’s cold, dead body from the sea water. After that I had been unable to sleep.

Andy wasn’t in class today as she was still recovering from her illness and fortunately Adam had been busy with his other friends and so did not come up to me before the lecture either. I had felt truly bad for bailing on Adam and jumping ship with Harry but

As Mr Richards ended his lecture Harry walked over to me with a frown on his face, “Are you alright? You seem tired.” Harry asked with a concerned expression as his eyes swept over my face. I hadn’t bothered with any make-up this morning so I was sure that my under-eye bags were most likely alarmingly present.

“Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep last night.” I informed Harry as I got up from my seat and put my notes into my bag. Harry then took my bag from me and swung it over his shoulder, causing me to smile up at him in gratitude, he was an angel for small acts like this. “Thank you.” I told him, and gave him a peck on the cheek, causing Harry to stiffen slightly, I pulled away in confusion before realising why Harry had stiffened; we were in public. “Sorry, I forgot we were,” I began but Harry cut me off by kissing me straight on my lips.

“You were saying?” Harry asked with a smile, before entwining our fingers and leading me out of the lecture hall and I couldn’t help but notice the crowds of people gawking at us, or more importantly Harry. They must have thought that it was strange to not only see Harry being romantically affectionate but also being affectionate to a girl who looked as much of a mess as I did.

“Nothing.” I mumbled in response, a blush growing on my face. I knew that public displays of affection wasn’t Harry’s thing, nor was it mine really, but Harry’s actions held so much meaning to them. Harry was showing me that he was serious about us and wasn’t hiding our relationship away, he was proud of it and it truly meant everything.

“I was going to suggest we could go out and do something together but something tells me that you’re too tired to do that.” Harry told me as we reached my car.

“I’m sorry, I’m just a mess today.” I replied, “you could always come over to mine and take a nap with me if you want?” I semi-jokingly asked Harry.

“I thought you’d never ask!” Harry replied in what I assumed was sarcasm but after a couple of seconds I got confused.

“Wait, so are you coming to mine then?”

“Yeah sure, why not?” Harry responded and I chuckled before nodding my head in agreement. Harry then left to get to his car and I got into my own car and drove over to my dorm with Harry in the car behind me.
“I can’t believe you’re coming over to my dorm to nap with me.” I told Harry, laughing slightly, as he got out of his car.

“I sleep better with you anyway.” Harry replied and I couldn’t help the smile on my face, truth be told I always sleep much better with Harry as well.

“Me too.” I agreed as I grabbed Harry’s hand and led him up to my dorm, ignoring the stares that Harry attracted as we made our way to my dorm, sometimes I wished Harry wasn’t so damn good looking; actually, no I didn’t.

When we reached my dorm, it was empty as Abby also had a lecture and so Harry and I swiftly fell into my bed and fell asleep with my head on his chest and Harry’s arm hooked underneath my waist.

I awoke at 4 o’clock to the feeling of shuffling beneath me as Harry removed his arm from beneath me and I felt well rested. “Sorry I woke you, my arm was literally dead.” Harry chuckled, his voice deep and raspy – one of my favourite sounds.

“That’s ok, I feel ten times better now.” I replied, leaning over and pecking Harry on the lips before stretching my arms and getting out of the bed.

“So, it’s one of the guys birthday and so there’s a party at the frat house if you want to go to that tonight?” Harry asked and I thought about it for a second. On one hand, I wasn’t the biggest fan of parties and they never seemed to go well for me, but on the other hand it was a part of Harry’s life and I was surely going to have to get used to the parties that are held where he lives.

“Were you planning on going?” I asked Harry in return.

“If you were.” Harry answered and I sighed before agreeing to come.

After a couple of hanging out with Harry, showering and getting ready for the frat party, Harry and I left to go to the frat party. I was dressed in a pair of ripped skinny jeans, a black lacy crop top and a pair of black heels. I also bought a change of clothes and my law notes as we decided that I would spend the night at Harry’s and we would then go to our lecture together.

When we reached the party, Harry placed his hand on my lower back as he navigated me through the crowds. As we reached Zayn and Lacy I couldn’t help but notice how Harry removed his hand from my back and rushed over to where Abby was standing with Niall sitting next to her and Andy was also there, although she was looking slightly tired.

I quickly ran over to Andy and wrapped my arms around her as I embraced her in a tight hug. “I’ve missed you girl, how are you feeling?” I asked Andy as I pulled back from her.

“Yeah, I’m feeling slightly better today, I should be in for the lecture tomorrow. Anyway, more importantly, what about you and Harry?!” Andy gushed, flickering her gaze to Harry who was standing by my side with a slightly faltered smile on his face. I’m sure that no-one would notice, but Harry’s dimples weren’t showing and his posture was stiff and something seemed to be off with him.

“Yes, Harry and I are um,” I began, not really sure how to introduce Harry and I. Were we dating or were seeing where things were; I didn’t want to assume anything.

“We’ve been seeing each other.” Harry finished my sentence, not really helping to confirm what we were. Was he my boyfriend?

Andy smiled at Harry as he said that, and Harry led me to the sofa where Abby and Niall were sat down, with me sitting in between Abby and Harry as Harry rested his arm behind my head. Abby shot me a look as I sat down next to her, suggesting that she had also caught onto Harry and I’s hesitation at putting a label on what we were.

The conversation between us all flowed very naturally, Liam and Louis also showed up a bit later and we were all having a fun time. Everyone but me had alcohol in their systems and the atmosphere was full happiness and laughter.

Louis was in the middle of explaining to us how he had almost gotten arrested when on a night out when Lacy and Zayn walked over to where we were sat. The positive vibe that we were all experiencing was suddenly drained and replaced with a thick tension as Harry removed his arm from behind me and instead placed in on his lap. I ignored the stab in my heart as Harry did this and also noticed Andy’s posture stiffen as she avoided looking at Zayn.

“Harry,” Lacy began, looking at Harry with a superficial smile, “what are you doing over here?” Lacy asked, giving our group a once over before looking over at Harry.

“Nothing, I didn’t realise you were here yet is all.” Harry replied rigidly, and I frowned at this; why was he lying to them, and why was he hiding us?

“Well, we were going to go outside for a smoke, do you want to come with us?” Lacy asked and Harry nodded, getting up from the sofa and walking towards her without even glancing at me. My stomach dropped and I looked down at my hands as I sighed.

“What the fuck was that?!” Abby asked as Harry, Lacy and Zayn all moved out of hearing distance.

“You tell me.” I replied, running a stressed hand through my hair; what even were Harry and I then if he was going to hide us from everyone.

“Are you ok, Andy?” Liam asked as I noticed how Andy was on the verge of tears.

“No, Zayn.” Andy began, taking a deep breath before continuing as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Zayn came over to my dorm on Thursday and begged me for a second chance. He said that he felt so guilty after everything that had happened with us, that’s why I haven’t been in class lately – I just can’t make my mind up. I think I love him but I don’t think that I should and I don’t know if I would ever trust him.” Andy confessed and suddenly it all made sense as to why Zayn hadn’t spoken a word and looked so uncomfortable when he came over to our group. Oddly, part of me thought that Zayn was being honest when he had said that to Andy, from what Andy and Harry had told me it seems to be that Zayn does care for Andy.

“Don’t rush into anything, if you want to be with Zayn then be with him but don’t do it unless you’re sure because I don’t want you to be hurt like you were last time, that was horrible.” Liam advised Andy and she nodded her head, wiping under her eyes and then giving us all a smile to show that she was ok, or she would be ok.

After a couple of minutes of the rest of the group chatting, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Harry was doing with Lacy and whether she knew about Harry and me or not, and it was driving me insane.

“Guys, I think I might call it a night now, it’s late and I’ve got a lecture tomorrow plus I’m super tired.” I explained to the group and they all nodded. I gave them all a hug and Abby made me promise that we would catch up about everything tomorrow morning, which I agreed to before leaving and heading up to Harry’s room.

Harry’s room was surprisingly tidy, his bookshelf was neatly aligned with numerous books, his desk had his notes perfectly filed and even his bed was made. I took out a tank top and shorts from my bag and changed into them as I got ready for bed.

I was in the middle of removing my make-up when Harry walked into the room. I turned around to look at him and he gave me a smile as he removed his top causing me to turn around to prevent my anger from being distracted by his beautiful body.

“You ok?” Harry asked casually as I heard him shuffling out of his jeans.

“Are we?” I quipped, throwing my make-up wipe in the bin and rubbing moisturiser on my face, not being bothered to wash my face properly.

“Of course we are, why wouldn’t we be?”

“Well, seeing as you want to hide our relationship from everyone it would seem to be that we are not ok.” I replied, turning around to face Harry and he let out a sigh. Thankfully he had put on a t-shirt so I would not be distracted by his body.

“It’s not what you think it is. I want to show you off to everyone but I my friends aren’t the type of people to be supportive of relationships, they’ll try to break us up and I don’t want that.” Harry explained and I frowned.

“Harry, I’m not going to be your secret girlfriend. I don’t want to hide our relationship around your friends because if they don’t support you being happy with someone then I don’t think that they’re really your friends.” I told Harry and he inhaled a deep breath and walked over to me, taking my hands in his and the familiar warmth spread through my veins at the contact.

“These people have stood by me through a lot of shit, Izzy, I can’t just turn my back on them now because I’m happy with you.” Harry told me softly, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“Just because they were there for you at your worst doesn’t mean that they’re your friends when they won’t let you grow and move on from that, Harry.” I argued back, in an equally soft tone. I understood that I was approaching a very sensitive topic but I wasn’t going to back down.

“Izzy, these people are my family, I’m not going to cut them out; not even for you.” Harry responded in a firm tone as he let go of my hands and walked towards his bed and I followed him.

“Ok Harry, but I won’t stay your secret girlfriend forever.” I warned him as he pulled the duvet up over us. I turned away from Harry onto my side and he did the same, tension and silence filling the gap between us.