Better for You

“Do you want to go straight to the frat party or would you rather go back to yours to change?” Harry asked me, his hand still resting on my thigh and drawing intoxicating circles to burn through my skin.

“I should probably get changed first” I replied, my jumper and jeans attire wasn’t exactly suitable for a frat party.

Harry nodded his head in response and an uncomfortable silence grew between us, I was sure that Harry had a lot of questions running through his head about what had happened during the dinner but I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to tell Harry about the subject yet. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Harry with my truth it was just that I wasn’t sure how Harry would react, would he understand what had happened?

“I’m sorry about everything that happened with my mum, Harry. She’s,” I paused, unsure of the words to describe my mother, “she’s very fixated on this idea of me being a perfect child and I think she pushed her idea of perfection onto you and you didn’t deserve that.” I tried to explain to Harry.

“You don’t need to apologise for your mum, Izzy, believe me I understand complicated family relations.” Harry responded and I nodded, relieved that the experience hadn’t caused Harry to want to leave me, yet.

“You were amazing in there Harry, I don’t know how you kept your cool but you did, so thank you for that.” I told Harry softly, trying to ensure that Harry understood how much his actions today meant to me.

“Izzy, you don’t need to thank me, I want to help you.” Harry replied with an unwavering seriousness in his tone that seemed to hold a deeper promise in its depths.

After that I decided to turn on the radio and began humming along to the Camila Cabello song ‘Never Be the Same’ as it blasted through the radio speakers and I couldn’t help but feel that it described perfectly the effect that Harry had on me. I also noticed how Harry’s lips curled up into a hint of a smile and I couldn’t help but wonder whether it was because of my awful singing or because Harry felt it too.

When we reached my dorm room door I unlocked the door to find an empty room which I frowned at as Abby told me that she would be sleeping here tonight. I shrugged my shoulders instead and took off in the direction of my wardrobe and began searching for an outfit to wear tonight.

I scanned my wardrobe and began pulling out random tops, skirts and skirts that may work together when I stumbled across a red velvet dress that had yet to be worn. I had bought it when I received my first pay cheque from my waitressing job however had never found the opportunity to wear it.

Hesitantly, I removed the dress from the wardrobe and presented it to Harry, “what about this dress?” I asked Harry who was texting on his phone and replied an absentminded yes without even looking in the direction of the dress, causing me to roll my eyes at his typical man behaviour.

As I began changing into the dress I heard Harry shuffling behind me before his velvet voice broke the silence, “has your mum always been the way that she was today?” Harry asked and I stiffened and paused my actions of pulling the dress over my body.

“She didn’t use to be that bad – it’s just gotten progressively worse over time.” I responded, trying to maintain an even voice as I spoke about the still sensitive subject. I then proceeded to put my dress on and then turned to face Harry and show him the dress. “What do you think?” I asked Harry whose eyes immediately widened as they landed on my frame. “Do you like it?” I asked, turning around to show Harry the dress.

Harry didn’t reply however, his eyes just kept searching my frame with a wonderstruck expression which made him look even more drool worthy than usual. “Izzy, you look amazing, so fucking amazing that I almost don’t want you to wear that dress because I don’t want anyone else to see how fucking hot you are.” Harry replied and I felt the blood immediately race to my face as I bit my lip and felt a wave of shyness wash over me.

“Thank you.” I murmured to Harry, turning away from him as I placed on my pumps. I heard Harry’s footsteps moving closer to me when I felt his presence only centre metres away from my own.

“Are you nervous, Izzy?” Harry whispered into my ear, his warm breath causing goose bumps to erupt across exposed my skin. Harry arms then proceeded to snake around my figure as he pulled me closer to him and my body moulded into his arms and it felt like we were one.

“No.” I whispered back, turning my face towards his own which was resting upon my right shoulders.

“The things I could do to you right now, Izzy.” Harry muttered and I felt another race of colour flush my cheeks.

“Well that too bad – we’ve got a party to get to.” I responded to Harry, pulling away from his arms and grasping his hand, leading him toward the door and towards the party.

After driving to the party (I had decided to drive because I wasn’t planning on drinking and I couldn’t be bothered to wear a coat to walk to the party in) Harry and I walked into the house and the familiar stench of alcohol and sweaty bodies wafted through my senses.

Harry let go of my hand, instead placing a cold ghosting hand on my back as he directed me through the people to where Abby and the boys were sat. “Hey, you came? Fuck girl you look hot!” Abby greeted me with a wide smile and an inviting hug.

“What do you mean?” I asked her, referring to her original statement, as I pulled away and looked over her outfit which consisted of a blue crop top and black high wasted jeans and she pulled it off effortlessly. “And you look amazing.”

“You got my text, but thank you girl, the top was 5 dollars, can you believe it?!” Abby asked me and I smiled nodding, pulling out my phone to reveal Abby’s text asking if I wanted to come with her to the frat party.

I then turned to face Harry who was awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “You ok?” I asked Harry and he nodded, his eyes wondering amongst the crowd before landing back on me.

“Yeah, I’ll be back in a sec.” Harry told me before walking off somewhere and I bit my lip as I watched his departing figure disappear amongst the crowd before turning back to face Abby who I shared a look with before seating myself down next to Liam who seemed to be on edge as he glanced up the stairs every other second.

“So, where’s Andy at?” I asked the group who seemed to have a slight tension amongst them all.

“She’s up there,” Liam replied, nodding towards the stairs before continuing, “talking to Zayn.” He finished and my eyebrows shot up in surprise – why on earth was Andy talking to Zayn.

“Beats us, he came over and asked to talk to her and then they went upstairs.” Louis explained and I realised that I must have said my thoughts aloud. I couldn’t understand why on earth Andy would spend time with Zayn though, I thought that she was supposed to be moving on from him?

“How long have they been gone for?” I asked.

“Around 20 minutes I think.” Liam answered and I nodded in response.

Then, as if on cue, Andy’s face emerged from the crowd of people on the stairs as she descended down the stairs and towards the group. I searched her face for any signs of emotion but it seemed as though her face was void of any emotion, however the absence of any tear stains suggested that her talk had gone well.

“Izzy!” Andy exclaimed as she reached where I was sat and she gave me a hug before sitting herself down next to me.

“How was it?” Abby asked Andy immediately, everyone’s focus trained directly on Andy.

“It, uhm, it actually went fairly well. We just talked about stuff and he apologised a lot about everything and he asked if we could meet up at some other time and talk again.” Andy explained, running a hand through her glossy chocolate locks.

“And what did you say?” Liam pressed Andy, his eyes watching her face intently.

“I said I’d think about it.” Andy answered Liam, when a raised voice cut through the air and goose bumps rose on my skin due to its familiarity.

Sure enough, as I raised my gaze towards the landing above the stairs, Harry stood with his friend Luke (who I had only seen a handful of times) as they engaged in a heated conversation. I couldn’t make out what they were saying due to their distant proximity but from Harry’s body language I could tell that he was livid.

“What’s going on over there?” Andy muttered from beside me and I shrugged my shoulders while frowning, I didn’t have a clue as to what they were arguing about – should I go over there and say anything? Harry had made it all too clear that he didn’t want his friends to know that he was in a relationship, so would me going over to Harry give our relationship away?

“I don’t know.” I answered Andy, my eyes entrained on the scene in front of me. It was like I was in a trance, watching a movie before me from the safe comfort of being removed from the action, but I wasn’t.

I watched as Luke’s lips move and something flipped in Harry and his demeanour transformed into someone unrecognisable as his hands raised and shoved Luke with force. I gasped in shock and immediately got up from my seat as Luke responded to Harry’s violent actions with an aggressive swing of his fist towards Harry’s figure. In an animalistic move Harry tackled Luke to the ground and began throwing punches at Luke as I immediately rushed to the scene, my breathing rushed as I panicked over what to do.

“Harry, get off of him!” I yelled at Harry, feeling powerless as the crowd grew and watched the fight intently. “Harry!” I yelled moving towards Harry and tugging his arm away from the tiring body of Harry’s supposed friend Luke.

“Get off me.” Harry argued back, trying to shrug off my grip but I maintained my hold on him.

“No, Harry, get off of him.” I replied in a stern tone and I felt Harry’s resistance lessen as he sighed and got up off of Luke. The crowd let out a cry of protest but I simply ignored them as I led Harry away from the scene and towards his bedroom.

I was furious at Harry for getting into a fight like that, violence was not the way to react to these things and he could get into some serious trouble with the law for it. But that wasn’t the only reason that I was angry, I was angry because I was powerless to everything and it reminded me of a memory that I did not want to remember.

I sat Harry down on his bed and looked him over, he had a little bruising on his eye from when Luke punched him, but he didn’t seem to be too beaten up. “Are you hurt?” I asked Harry in an emotionless tone which caused Harry to frown a little.

“I’m fine.” Harry replied, staring me in the eyes as I stared back at him. “You didn’t need to get involved in that, I can handle myself you know.” Harry mumbled and I took a step back from him, shocked at his audacity.

“Harry, getting into fights is not ‘handling yourself’.” I retorted, paraphrasing Harry’s own words back to himself.

“Really? Did you not see Luke’s bloody face afterwards? I’d say I handled myself pretty well.” Harry responded and I shook my head, this was a new side to Harry and I didn’t like him very much.

“Why did you even fight him?” I asked Harry, folding my arms across my chest but instead of replying Harry bowed his head. “Seriously?” I asked, taken aback by Harry’s lack of response. “Ok Harry, if that’s how you want to play it then fine.” I stated, marching over to the door when Harry finally spoke.

“Why are you so angry?” Harry’s velvety voice spoke and I furrowed my eyebrows as I turned to face him.

“Because you can’t get into fights all the time Harry, it’s not ok.” I replied, my voice carrying an unwavering sternness.

“That’s not it.” Harry replied, cocking his head to the side as he analysed me.

“Excuse me?”

“This is something deeper than you not agreeing with me fighting.” Harry responded and I swallowed, knowing that Harry was right. I lowered my head, inhaling a deep breath before raising my head, my eyes meeting Harry’s and they seemed less arrogant and more curious as I now gazed into them.

“I felt powerless.” I replied, “you were fighting Luke and hurting yourself and I was powerless to stop it.” Harry frowned as I said this, as he rose from his bed and walked to me, taking my hands into his battered ones.

“You’re not powerless, Izzy. You’re the most powerful person I know.” Harry told me and I closed my eyes while shaking my head, my hands trembling in Harry’s as he held them.

“That’s not true – people make choices that have consequences that I feel and I am powerless to stop it because it’s not my decision to make but it still hurts.” I replied, opening my eyes to find Harry examining me attentively with compassion swimming in his forest green irises.

“Izzy - ” Harry began but I cut him off by placing my finger to his lips.

“There’s something that I’m ready to tell you.”