Status: Will be slow in updates as am still in full time education but will try to update as regularly as possible

Better for You

Chapter 38

I left the party shortly after new year, my heart aching in my chest and I felt unable to put on a happy front anymore. Harry had let me down for the first time in our relationship and I couldn’t pretend that it didn’t hurt me. Abby went back with Niall and so I drove home by myself in the middle of the night.

Part of me hoped that I would reach my dorm and Harry would be sat outside of my door as he had been waiting for me. However, when I reached my dorm and went inside of it the only thing that echoed within the walls was the silence and loneliness that I felt. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair as I checked my phone for any word from Harry but all that I could see instead were the many Instagram notifications from the photo that I had uploaded of Abby and I in our outfits tonight.

I huffed in frustration and decided that it was best that I just went to sleep so I removed my make-up and changed into my pyjamas and let sleep take me away to a place where the burden on my chest was unable to consume me.

I awoke in the later hours of the following morning, to find a text from Harry that he sent at three thirty a.m. The text read:

‘Happy new year Izzy. Sorry I missed the party, will catch up with you tomorrow?’ I replied a curt ‘sure’ in response and then placed my phone away and got up from my bed.

I wasn’t in the mood to make much of an effort and so I just threw on a mustard yellow crop top and some ripped high wasted boyfriend jeans. I didn’t bother putting any make-up on and then put my hair up in a messy bun.

Moments later I heard a hesitant knock at my door and my heart raced and that worrying feeling in the pit of my stomach intensified, I knew that it was Harry because of the way that my body was acting.

I opened the door and was faced with Harry’s beautiful face in the door way. Harry was wearing a simple red jumper and black skinny jeans but he still managed to look mouth-wateringly incredible and it made me resent him all the more for it.

“Hi,” Harry spoke in his velvety tone and I gave him a small smile and opened the door wider for him to come in. This was the first time that our relationship had ever been this uncertain. Everything that Harry and I did was always natural and in a sense easy, but this time everything was very rigid and uncertain and it was unsettling.

“How have you been?” Harry asked me as I sat on my bed and Harry stood in front of me.

I nearly replied with a polite ‘good’, but then I remembered how Harry had all but forgotten about me for the past week. “Oh, so now you care?” I asked Harry and his features all cringed as he heard my response.

“Ok, I deserve that. I’ve been a shitty boyfriend recently.” Harry confessed and I folded my arms and nodded my head.

“You’ve been really shitty.” I confirmed and Harry just nodded.

“I wasn’t trying to ignore you, it’s just that loads of stuff came up and I’ve just been so pre-occupied that I haven’t had the chance to talk to you. I’m sorry that I upset you but that wasn’t my intention.” Harry said sincerely, but I simply raised my eyebrows at his poor excuse.

“You’re telling me that in the past week you didn’t have time to call me for 10 minutes to talk to me but you had the time to ditch me on New Year’s and go clubbing with Lucy? Is that really what you’re trying to say?” I questioned and Harry grimaced once again and I think he knew that he was in shit when I said this.

“I know that seems really shitty of me, but Lucy needs me at the moment and we just went as friends – that is all that it was.” Harry explained and I shook my head.

“And I don’t need you then? And how on earth am I meant to believe that you and Lucy are just friends when she doesn’t even know about us?” I quipped, my waves of anger towards Harry were really starting to grow.

“Izzy, I wouldn’t hurt you like that, you have to believe me. I can’t believe you think that I could do that; don’t you trust me?” Harry asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t know what to believe to be honest with you, Harry. Mike cheated on me with Lucy, you kissed Lucy before when we were starting something and so I don’t think that you can blame me for having trust issues when it comes to Lucy.” I replied and Harry sighed and walked towards me and cupped my face in his large hands.

“I know that I’ve hurt you this week and I hate myself so much for it but I won’t do it again. I promise you Izzy, I won’t let you down like this again.” Harry promised me and I stared into his entrancing eyes as he said that and I could see the honesty in them.

“Ok, I believe you.” I answered Harry and a smile took over his face as he leaned forward and pecked my lips, filling my veins with electricity and sparking my body to life. The feeling in the pit of my stomach lessened at his words and I felt as though a weight had been taken off of my shoulders.

“I love you Izzy, I missed you so much this last week.” Harry assured me and I smiled slightly at his words, glad to hear that he missed me like I had missed him.

“What did you get up to this week?” I asked Harry as he moved himself to sit down next to me.

“Just lots of things that I don’t want to talk about, what about you – what did you get up to?” Harry asked me and I decided to not question how he had avoided my question as I instead was going to trust him and trust that Harry wouldn’t hurt me.

“Not much, I worked a couple of days, went out with Abby a bit and finished my assignments as well.” I replied and Harry nodded his head,

“Did you finish the tort law essay?” Harry asked and I groaned at the memory of the assignment.

“It killed me, quite literally!” I exclaimed and Harry nodded his head in agreement, chuckling slightly.

“Yeah, I gave up like 20 minutes into writing it – I just couldn’t bring myself to do anymore!” Harry told me and I rolled me eyes at his classic Harry behaviour of not being bothered to do set work outside of class. “I’ll finish it though, I’ll just need a push to get me to finish it.” Harry admitted and I smiled and shook my head at him gently before a thought popped into my head that I knew I would have to inform Harry of.

“So, after you dropped me off my mum called me. I sent her a text wishing her a happy Christmas and we talked and it wasn’t too bad actually, we agreed to meet up soon.” I told Harry who smiled at me and nodded.

“I’m glad to hear that Izzy, your mum does love you – she just doesn’t show it very well.” Harry told me with a small smile and I nodded my head slowly.

“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get back in touch with my mum at first though. I don’t know if I like the person she wants me to be but then I thought of her spending Christmas alone and I know that this holiday is going to be particularly hard for her without dad and so I decided to give her another chance.” I explained to Harry.

“That’s really good of you Izzy, I may not have been able to meet your dad but I know that he would be so proud of you right now.” Harry told me and I froze at the mentioning of my father.

“I miss him so much.” I whispered, closing my eyes I was able to picture his face and his brown warm eyes looking into mine. But then his face transformed into the haunting memory of his cold, grey face on the metal table in the morgue. I shook my head trying to rid myself of the memory.

“I know you do, Izzy.” Harry murmured beside me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me towards him so that he could kiss the crown of my forehead. “You’re so strong Izzy.” Harry told me and I inhaled a deep breath of Harry’s scent, allowing it to fill and calm my senses before I slowly pulled away from Harry.

“Can we go to the beach?” I asked Harry and he frowned at me, his green eyes looking at me as though I was absurd.

“Izzy, it’s January.” Harry dead panned.

“I know it is, but I just want to go to the beach – we don’t have to go into the sea, but we can just sit on the beach and watch the waves.” I suggested and Harry stared at me for a couple of seconds, almost as if he was determining my sanity before he shook his head with a smile playing on his lips.

“Sure, let’s go to the beach then – but you need to dress up warm.” Harry instructed me and a smile broke across my lips as I got up from the bed and grabbed a grey hoodie and threw it on and then put on some shoes.

“What about you; are you going to be warm enough?” I asked Harry and he nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve also got a blanket in my trunk which we can use.” Harry told me and I grinned at him and took his hand in mine as we walked out of the dorm and to his car.

When we got in the car Harry put on his music which was The Weeknd surprisingly enough, which caused a smile to warm onto my face. “So, you like Abel then?” I asked Harry and I noticed Harry biting his lip to withhold a smile.

“Some of his songs are good I guess, I mean I’ve got to get to know them for his concert.” Harry answered me and I rolled my eyes at him and shuffled Harry’s songs until the song Acquainted came on and I stopped and smiled and allowed the beautiful song to play in the car as I sang along.

When we reached the beach, Harry took the blanket out of his trunk and we then walked hand in hand to the deserted beach where Harry laid down the blanket and we sat on it, entwined with each other.

The sky was a melancholy grey and the dark blue waves were violently crashing down onto the sand but I felt somewhat peaceful with Harry’s warm body next to me. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it.” I whispered to Harry as we both sat watching wave after wave after wave come plummeting down onto the sand onto to recede back to the sea.