Better for You

Andy was lying on her back with her knees raised and her feet resting a foot away from her bum as she lay on my bed. I was sat with crossed legs beside Andy on my bed as we heatedly discussed which Drake album was the best. “I don’t even know why this is up for discussion, it’s obviously Views.” I argued, not understanding how Andy could possibly question this.

Andy’s eyebrows scrunched up as she focussed on the ceiling, clearly deep in thought. “I just don’t know, I mean Take Care has some very good songs and then What A Time To Be Alive is full of bops.” Andy argued, running a stressed hand through her hair.

I folded my arms across my chest, “Andy, come on now - Views has Hotline Bling.”

“Take Care has Headlines.” Andy countered.

“Too Good.”

“Make Me Proud.”

“Feel No Ways.”

“Motto.”

“Childs Play.”

“HYFR.”

“Redemption.”

“Marvin’s roo-” Andy began when the door suddenly swung open and a visibly upset Abby stormed into the room, slamming the door behind her as she rubbed her eyes furiously. Andy and I immediately leapt up from my bed to console Abby.

“Abby, what’s wrong?” I asked Abby in a concerned voice as I removed her hands from her eyes and wrapped them around me as I hugged Abby, my hands rubbing up and down her back soothingly as her body shook.

“B-boys are f-fucking jerks.” Abby stammered and then hiccupped at the end, causing me to jump slightly at the sudden eruption.

“What happened?” I questioned and I heard Abby release a sigh before she shimmied out of my arms and wiped beneath her eyes again and then sniffled her reddened nose.

“Do I act strangely close with Liam?” Abby asked Andy and I, causing me to frown at her question.

“Um… no?” I answered as best as I could, I didn’t think the way that Abby and Liam behaved was overly close, I mean they were close friends but that was it; it was purely platonic.

“I don’t think so.” Andy agreed and Abby’s expression widened in exasperation.

“Exactly!” Abby exclaimed, using her hands to exaggerate her frustration. Andy and I exchanged an uncertain look before returning our attention to Abby. “Niall got really angry with me for being too friendly with Liam at last night’s party.” Abby sniffled, collapsing into a sitting position on the end of her bed.

“Oh, honey.” Andy sympathised as we both sat either side of Abby on the bed and Andy placed a comforting hand on Abby’s shoulder.

“He was so rude, he kept saying that I was embarrassing him with how I was acting but I just don’t think of Liam like that – he’s like a brother to me so I don’t even think about how I act around him.” Abby explained as tears continued to fall down her blotchy cheeks, breaking my heart at the sight of her. “He was so out of it last night, he drank so much but, but the things that he said were horrible.” Abby spoke, pausing for a second as if contemplating if she should say her next words, “He called me a slut.” Abby revealed, causing Andy and me to both gasp in shock, this was not the normal friendly Niall that we knew so well, or at least so we thought.

“That’s disgusting.” I commented, repulsed by Niall’s words.

“Did you stay at Niall’s last night?” Andy gently asked Abby, as if worried she would upset Abby at the mentioning of Niall’s name.

Abby’s body stiffened next to me slightly as her eyes closed and her expression showed traces of guilt. “Um, I stayed at Liam’s place.” Abby confessed and Andy and I both shared an alarmed look as my heart pounded loudly in my chest, fearful of what Abby possibly did. I knew Abby and I knew that she was a very loyal person and I knew that she loved Niall but I was also aware that Niall had obviously hurt Abby and pain can be a very strong intoxicant.

“Abby…?” I asked, dragging out Abby’s name and Abby’s eyes bolted open at the undertone of accusation in my voice.

“No, God no – Liam’s like a brother to me and I would never do that to Niall – jeez, no!” Abby exclaimed, honesty clear in her voice. “But,” Abby sighed as she raised her hand, placing her index finger and thumb to pinch the bridge of her nose, “Niall may possibly think that something happened…” Abby trailed off and I inhaled a breath sharply as my hands cupped my face, not really sure how to react to Abby’s words.

“Wha-Why?” Andy stuttered, her face looking just as confused as I felt.

Abby lifted her hands to cover her face as she sighed, her tears seemed to have stopped but she was still visibly upset. “Niall came over to Liam’s place today to see if I was there and when we talked about what he said yesterday he stood by what he said and said that I proved his point by sleeping at Liam’s. So when he accused me of sleeping with Liam, I didn’t exactly deny it.” Abby explained and I sighed, frustrated by Abby’s behaviour – not that I was much better at the best of times, but that was beside the point.

“Abby… If you let Niall think that then you don’t know what he might do – you could lose him for good, Abby.” I warned Abby, understanding why Abby had done what she had done but I also knew that she needed to fix this and quickly if her relationship was going to survive.

“I think it might already be.” Abby whispered, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks once again. I frowned at Abby’s statement, concerned at how she was so calm about her statement that her relationship with Niall might already be over. Abby looked at me in the eyes, her pale green teary eyes telling a story of their own, “He was sober this morning when he point blank accused me of cheating on him with Liam.” Abby began in a dejected tone, shrugging her shoulders sadly. “You don’t do that to someone that you trust, and what kind of relationship do you have if you don’t trust each other?” Abby questioned and all that I could do was nod my head in agreement because Abby was right, if Niall did trust her then he wouldn’t question her loyalty.

Andy frowned beside Abby, looking torn in her reaction. “Abby, what did you expect Niall to think?” Andy asked Abby in a soft, tentative tone. “Niall shouldn’t have said what he said to you last night the way that he did, but it’s clearly an insecurity of his and then after revealing that to you, you slept over at Liam’s? What did you expect Niall to think?” Andy voiced quietly, her words sounding sincere and honest.

Abby twisted her head to look at Andy and her expression was something that really broke my heart, like I could literally feel my heart tearing at the seams – well, whatever pieces that somehow remained intact after Harry and I broke up. “Niall really hurt me.” Abby admitted, bowing her head as tears fell from her eyes and into her lap. “What he said really hurt me and I know it sounds mean - well, it is mean – but I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me.” Abby revealed before choking on her sobs as she wiped away her tears.

“What do you want to do now?” I asked Abby, raising my hand to stroke it through her hair supportively.

Abby let out a huff and shook her head, “I don’t know.” Abby answered, her face looking conflicted as she stared at the wall ahead of her.

“Well do you want a future with Niall?” Andy questioned, her soft brown eyes caressing Abby’s face.

Abby lifted both of her hands either side of her and raised them before letting them fall by her side in a questioning gesture. “I don’t know – if you had have asked me that before our fight yesterday then I would have said yes without hesitation but now…” Abby trailed off, her voice sounding so uncertain and just the polar opposite to the confident Abby that I was so used to. “Now I don’t know, I just know that I don’t want to be with the Niall that I saw last night.”

I bit down on my lip as I looked at Abby’s tired and heartbroken features with a striking amount of empathy. For some weird and most probably inappropriate reason, all that I could do as I thought about Abby’s circumstance, was draw parallels to my own situation with Harry. I mean, I was struggling through heart break at the same time that my best friend was so I guess it would probably make sense that my mind thought of Harry at that moment.

I wasn’t quite sure what had caused it, but seeing Abby so upset over Niall had made me miss Harry in a way that I hadn’t yet experienced. It was like a strong tsunami wave of emotion that had swept me off of my feet and left me drowning in a sea where the only air was Harry.

Missing Harry had become a steady ache that I had gotten used to, it was like a leech that was slowly but steadily sucking me dry.

But in that moment, missing Harry was the only emotion that I could comprehend and my body was screaming to see him.

“Why don’t you sleep for a bit? You look exhausted.” Andy suggested with a warm smile as Abby scowled at Andy.

“Thanks.” Abby grumbled sarcastically at Andy’s comment, causing Andy and me to chuckle – at least we knew that Abby was still in there, just buried under a lot of heartache.

“Is there anything that I can do for you?” I asked Abby as my fingers itched to call Harry on my phone.

Abby shook her head as she slowly got up from her sitting position on her bed and tucked herself under the covers while Andy and I got up from the bed to give her room to rest her body on her bed. “No, I should just sleep.” Abby mumbled, her words blurring together as sleep began to invade her mind. “Night.” Abby whispered as her eye lids fluttered shut, leaving Andy and I standing in her room silently.

I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly as thoughts of missing Harry circled around in my head, the thoughts drowning me, before I finally caved into my body’s cravings. “Um, I’ve got to pop out for a sec – is that alright?” I quietly asked Andy, careful not to disturb Abby, to which Andy replied with a simple nod of her head.

I gave Andy a quick smile of gratitude before swiftly exiting my room, my body taking over as it led me to the only person that could satisfy the demands of my heart and mind.