Finding Alice

The guards traded shifts when the sun shined from the middlemost part of Wonderland’s sky. Alice called it noon, but Jefferson never really knew for sure. Either way, it gave them a small enough window to sneak into the Queen’s rose garden unnoticed, cut a rose from a vine, and run. Jefferson was glad to have Alice’s help once she was there. She made the job easier since she clearly understood Time and Wonderland’s peculiarities better. She warned him that the hedges might fight back if they were touched, and sure enough, when Jefferson cut the rose free, the vines began to twist and churn.

He grabbed Alice by the wrist and made a run for the road. They’d chosen the closest blossom they could find to the exit just to be sure it gave them enough time to get away. The guards caught sight of them as they ran for the camp they’d made under the mushroom patch. He could hear them shouting and the shuffling of their armor as they began to make chase. He kept his hand around Alice’s wrist and made a last-minute decision to leave everything behind. He could replace what they’d lost. All that mattered now was that they returned to their cottage and never looked back.

The portal stood waiting at the top of the hill, just like it always did. They’d spent an entire week in Wonderland, planning, preparing, and enjoying what they both knew would be their last trip. He rushed toward the shimmering looking glass, panting and stumbling, and for one glorious moment, he thought they were safe. Until the portal spit the both of them back out onto the road. Jefferson was back on his feet in a second.

“I don’t understand,” he said, kneeling to ensure Alice wasn’t hurt. Then, he reached out to touch the portal surface, which moved around him like it always did.

“We’ll have to worry about it another time,” she said, scrambling to her feet and yanking him back. The sound of shuffling armor grew louder. They had no more time. “We have to run. Now!”

Jefferson reluctantly agreed. He grabbed her by the wrist again and dove into the grass. They didn’t stop running until they’d reached the forest of unnaturally slim and tall trees. The sound of armor faded, and they couldn’t run any longer. Jefferson released his hold on Alice, and she dropped to the forest floor in the shade. She buried her head in her hands and clutched the rose between her fingers. He paced as he tried to catch his breath, too full of adrenaline to sit still. He felt like a caged animal. He had to get Alice home. They got what they came for. There was no reason for the portal to not work.

“I don’t understand,” he repeated. “Why couldn’t we get through? What did we do wrong? Did someone enchant it? Is it the rose? I don’t understand.”

“Oh, dear. A conundrum. A predicament. A pickle,” a lazy voice spoke from above. Jefferson spun, ready to take down a guard with his knife. But it was only a bodiless cat hovering in the trees with large feline eyes and a wide grin. Purple stripes appeared next, like swirling ribbons, and then the full body of a housecat. It leaned on a tree branch and smiled down at them.

“Get out of here!” Jefferson said, waving the animal away and turning back to Alice. She was still sitting on the forest floor, wrapped in her cloak and breathing hard. He knelt beside her and placed a comforting hand on her arm.

“It wasn’t the rose. It was her,” the cat purred, rolling onto his back and smiling down at them. Jefferson wasn’t in the mood to deal with a talking cat and whatever riddles it would come up with just for a chat. He looked up and glared at the animal. “Two come in. Two go out.” Jefferson shook his head.

“I know how it works,” he growled.

“Two come in. Three can’t go out.”

“What do you mean three? Unless someone went through ahead of us, it’s just Alice and me.”

“Just you and Alice, indeed,” the cat said. “Two come in. Three can’t go out.”

Jefferson stood and looked for a rock to throw at the cat. He was too confused, irritated, and frightened to deal with this nonsense. He just wanted to get them home to their cottage so they could build a life away from Wonderland. But as usual, Alice understood before he did.

“Jefferson, don’t,” she said, gripping his coat sleeve and pulling him back to her.

He knelt at her side again. He could already tell by her pale and thoughtful expression that she knew exactly what the animal was saying. They sometimes spoke backward or in riddles, but it always made sense to her. He held her face between his hands, searching desperately for an answer in her dark eyes.

“Tell me. Please?” he begged. She was still breathing heavily from running. Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes were sad with realization.

“Two come in. Three can’t go out,” she repeated. “The other night—when we camped under the mushrooms. You remember?”

“Of course I remember,” he said. It was one of the most incredible nights of his life. They’d stayed up long after dark, enjoying Wonderland and the way it made everything feel slightly more exciting than usual. She nodded, emphasizing something he was still missing.

“You know what we did that night, Jefferson.”

He thought of the way he held her in his arms and couldn’t let her go. Not even when he should have. He knew it would happen sooner or later, but it never occurred to him that it might happen in Wonderland. Or that it would prevent them from getting through the portal. He was piecing it together now, but there was still defiance in him. He would find a way to reason, to find another way out. It was too soon. They hadn’t planned for it yet. It wasn’t supposed to happen until they were home in their cottage with steadier futures.

“You think…,” he started.

“We can’t get through the portal because when we came in, we were only two. We’re not two anymore. We’re three.”

“But it’s too soon. It couldn’t even be a person yet.”

“Wonderland has different rules, my love. It always has. It’s a living thing.”

“The flowers are living things, Alice!”

“Exactly.” She shut her eyes. “Listen. We both wanted it. It doesn’t matter to Wonderland that it’s not old enough to be a life. We wanted it. And that’s enough to make it count.”

He pinched his eyes shut and pressed his head against hers. She cradled his face in her hands. He knew what it meant now. One of them would have to stay behind. He would have to stay so that she could go back. She’d be all alone in a land she was barely getting to know, with no family and no friends. And he wouldn’t be there for her when the time came or any time after.

“You go through then,” he finally decided, even though his throat was stuck and his fingers trembled as he gripped her arms. “Just you. That makes two, right?”

“I won’t leave you,” she said, shaking her head.

“You can’t stay here. Especially not now that the Queen knows we’re here.”

“I won’t.”

“We don’t have a choice!”

“This is the only choice! We made a promise!”

“To hell with promises, Alice.”

She sniffled and pulled him closer. Her fingers dug into his shoulders. She was afraid too, and he didn’t know any other way to keep her safe. To keep both of them safe. He couldn’t go back alone, even if he wanted to. He was only one of two. She was the only one who could go back now. The Queen would take his head if she caught him. And Alice would live out her life in the Enchanted Forest, raising their child all alone. They never should have come back. He never should have let her come. Promise or no promise.

“Please?” he begged. “Just go.”

“We can find a way,” she argued. “There’s always a way.”

“We won’t find one in time. Not here. The only way is for you to get out while you still can.”

“She’ll kill you. She’ll take your head.”

“I know, but if you stay, all three of us die. Please, Alice? Please, just go?” She shook her head and bit her bottom lip defiantly.

“I won’t leave you here to die. We can find a way back home—all of us. I won’t go without you. I won’t lose you.”

“Go to the Dark One again. Bring him the rose. That’ll pay the debt. He’ll find a way to get me out or someone to trade me for.”

“In the meantime, you’ll be hunted by the Queen! And the Dark One is the whole reason we’re here at all. I won’t risk it again! I know the kind of deals he makes! He’s infamous in every land!”

“And I can’t risk you.”

“It’s all of us—or none of us. That was the promise we made. We’re a family. We do this together or not at all.”

He pulled away from her, ripping the rose out of her hand. It was just a flower. Just some silly thing the Dark One wanted to pay a debt, and now they would die for it. Everything they’d worked for and dreamed of. The nest and the family he finally realized he wanted so badly. That was why Wonderland already considered it a person. Because he’d wanted it too. And now he was going to lose it all for a rose. He threw it against a nearby tree, hoping the petals would fall apart. But it flopped to the ground, as perfect as when it was cut.

Jefferson took a moment to calm down. Alice wouldn’t leave without him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t force her to go. He had to trick her, but he’d have to wait until she least expected it. When it was safe to go back. The guards would keep hunting them, and they’d have to find a place to hide until it was clear. Then he’d get her through and never see her again. Or meet the child that was growing inside her. It was what he had to do.

So he went back to her side. She was sniffling quietly into her hands, and he didn’t even notice until the sky darkened and light sprinkles began to hit the leaves above. He hated himself for making her cry. He took her hand in his and touched the place where a thorn had punctured her skin. He brought the small cut to his lips and kissed it, angry at himself for hurting her, even though he hadn’t meant to. Then he pulled her to his chest and kissed her head as he wrapped his arms around her. He waited for the drizzle to slow.

“We’ll find a place to hide out for a while,” he told her. He felt her nod, sniffing against his chest. “We’ll find a way back home. For all of us.”

“Thank you,” she said, her voice muffled in his vest. He didn’t speak again. He knew what he would have to do to save her life, and she’d probably never forgive him for it. But at least she’d be alive long enough to be angry.