Set Sail

I am in love. Deadset holy shit I have found the woman of my dreams.

Granted, I’ve spoken to her once but HELLO WORLD I was recently graced in the presence of the woman of my dreams and I couldn’t be happier about it. I mean maybe I’m just happy to be in the presence of a hot woman in general but I swear to God this chick is like 12/10 slap my ass and call me daddy because holy fuck I want to wife her up in every way to Sunday.

Did that even make sense? Probably not. I have a lot of feelings about this girl and they’re mostly sexual. Sue me.

And yeah, okay, maybe we only talked for five or so minutes but after that delightful (and not even sarcasm, it was genuinely delightful after I got over my weird awkwardness) conversation about how we were going to fix the group, we exchanged numbers and have been texting ever since. Granted, our conversations are more geared towards ideas on how to make Georgia and Nat accidentally run into each other so they’re forced to face their problems, but each idea seems fruitless, somehow. Like it won’t work.

But I’m determined to try them all out because not only do I want yin and yang back together but it would give me a chance to see Violet in the flesh again.

I’m lying on my bed crafting a message to Vi (can I call her that? Are we on the stage of using nicknames?) (Wow since when has a girl got me so crazed???) when Joe busts my door open.

“Thanks for knocking,” I say, without bothering to look up from my phone. Should I say Hey bb I wanna spank that ass or just stick to regular programming? I’m thinking the latter.

Joe snorts and sits himself down on my computer chair. “Have you seen Mum?”

I shake my head, still distracted. “No, why?”

“She’s dressed up.” The tone in his voice sounds kinda off, like he’s unsure of what he’s just said or something. “Like, really up. In a dress.”

I look up sharply. “Like she’s going on a date?” I ask. “Or that she’s going to hang out with her girlfriends after work?”

Joe makes a face. “I saw her putting on red lipstick when I walked by her room.”

In a moment, my phone is forgotten and I only have one thing on my mind. “Mum!” I holler, walking into her room, Joe in tow. “Mum!”

“James,” Mum sighs. “I’m in the same room honey, you don’t need to yell.”

“Where are you going?” I ask her and to my surprise, she blushes.

“Out,” she says.

“Where?” Joe questions.

“Well,” Mum huffs. “If you must know, I am going out on a date.”

“A date?” I can hardly believe it. I mean, on one hand, my mum is a star quality diamond and she deserves the best kind of man. Someone who’s loyal and upstanding and stable and doesn’t leave their wife and kids or you know, doesn’t cheat on their wife either. On the other hand, I’ve been used to having all the attention from Mum on Joe and I that to suddenly share that feels kind of weird. But I’m sure I’m just being selfish, because ultimately I want the best for my mum. She more than deserves it. But then again, she hasn’t been on a date in years – as far as I’m aware – and I don’t want to think about if she gets serious with someone. My sexual prowess came from somewhere, after all. “With who?”

Mum blushes again. This isn’t something that happens often, but here we are. Confident, outspoken Mum blushing like her life depends on it. “A man.”

“Good to know,” Joe says sarcastically. “Any other information you want to tell us? Like a name?”

“Yeah,” I add. I wonder who the mystery man is. “How long have you been seeing him for?”

Mum shakes her head slightly. She’s putting on some long dangly earrings and from what I can see, she needs all the focus she can get. “You’ll only get one question answered, so choose wisely.”

Joe and I look at each other. “No point asking for a name,” I explain. “There’s a lot of old guys who are probably single around here.” Joe nods in agreement. “How long, Mum?”

“A year.” My mouth drops and I turn to Joe. “You didn’t notice Mum’s been dating someone for a year?”

“Hey!” Joe puts his hands up in defence. “I had my suspicions but I figured there was no point telling you when you were in the army.” He has a good point, seeing as I would’ve dropped any work I had there and came home to find the guy Mum’s invested her time and probably heart in and told him that if he breaks my mum’s heart, I am more than happy to break their fucking face. It’s not my first time being in that position.

I am a mumma’s boy, through and through.

“So you guys are official then? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?” I ask.

Mum smiles. “One question only, remember?”

I huff. “Fine.” Nat’s not the only one that can be dramatic. “Can I ask something else that’s mildly related but not completely to the matter at hand?”

“Huh?” Joe says but I ignore him. Mum looks at me for a moment and nods, allowing me to continue.

“Why have you taken this long to say anything?”

Mum sighs and comes over to sit between us. “I know how you are honey,” she says, taking my hand and holding it. “I wanted to make sure he was a good person and take my time getting to know him before we decided to become serious.”

Joe’s eyes light up. “So we’ll get to meet him soon?”

“Of course,” Mum replies affectionately, reaching over to kiss the both of our foreheads. Man, mums are great. Really underrated. “I plan on taking him as my date to Georgia and Colton’s wedding. No one else knows about our relationship, so it will be our first time taking our relationship public, so to speak. He will come to the house with his daughter, who is a very nice girl and no James, do not get any ideas –” Damn, she knows me so well. “And we will have some time to all get to know each other before we leave. Is that alright?”

Joe and I nod. “Alright, I best be off. Leftovers are in the fridge. Have a good night, boys.”

“Don’t forget protection,” Joe jokes. Mum and I look at each other before I reach over to smack him over the head.



wyd is all Violet texts me later while I’m making myself avocado on toast. The secret to a good avo on toast is a delicate mixture of salt, pepper and a hint of spice with a gentle squeeze of lemon spread over some white toasted bread. I mean brown bread is fine and all, but white bread is where the best taste is at. Add in some feta and MAN you are good to go.

I really am the whole package, you know. Devastatingly sexy, a cheeky smile, outgoing and loud personality that not only can kick ass in the field but in the kitchen. Oh, and in the bedroom too. That’s very important.

dropping some mad chef moves for my admirers wbu

ur mum doesn’t count

Goddamn this chick barely knows me and she’s dropping mum jokes already. I appreciate this on another level.

you could if you came over

I’m intrigued but I was thinking of something else in mind

I can pick you up at 8?

how about you come over to g’s instead

not sure if colton would be down if I hooked up with his fiancée and her cousin It’s a risky text, but I can’t not send it. I mean, I definitely could have not sent it but like, it was the perfect opportunity so how could I not shoot my shot?? But then again this is the kind of text that turns girls off quickly so I’m hoping it’s not like that. Please do not let it be like that.

HAHAHA For a minute or two, she doesn’t respond and I panic if I’ve gone too far until my phone buzzes again.

take g out of the equation and we can definitely discuss

But for now, I’m gonna need you to come over. And bring nat

I’m safe! Thank god! Never risking my life for a risky text again. what do I tell her?

c’mon markinson, this is a two-brained operation

I laugh before sending through another text. I like the thinly veiled excuse of me bringing nat so you have a reason to get close to me I know it’s not really like that, but I enjoy teasing.

;)

When I pick up Nat twenty minutes later, she’s acting weird. Quiet, moreso. This is unlike her.

“Hey.” I poke her shoulder while I drive. When I asked Nat if she wanted to hang, she didn’t ask why like she usually does, but rather accepted it and said she’d be ready in a few. What she doesn’t know is that I plan to stop along the way to G’s, but I figure she’ll figure it out soon. “What’s up with you?”

Nat shakes her head. “Nothing. I’m good.”

“You know Mick’s not the only one who knows you,” I tell her. “You’re like…” I rack my brain, trying to think of a comparison. “You’re like a sister to me, if I ever had one.”

I see the corner of Nat’s mouth tugging up into a smile, which in turn makes me smile. “I’ve just been thinking about the last few days. Well, everything that’s happened since you’ve come back, really. Like how awkward things were at the barbeque with Georgia and seeing Violet and that she replaced me as her maid of honour.” I can tell Nat’s pretending like it doesn’t hurt, but I think it does. I mean, it has to. Right? “I mean, not that I didn’t expect it or anything. And it’s not like I even want to, considering everything that went down. But I can’t lie and say that I never expected to not be the maid of honour at her wedding. Like how she was supposed to be mine if I ever end up getting married, y’know?” She shrugs. “It’s just interesting how things have worked out now. Like, I never expected it.”

I know Nat’s opening up to me and it feels nice to know that she trusts me enough to know these kinds of feelings, but another part can’t help but feel giddy at the fact that she misses G. Maybe getting them together will be easier than I think. “So you miss her?”

Nat’s silent for a bit before she answers. “She used to be my best friend, James. It would be dumb of me say that I didn’t.”

“If you miss her, why don’t you talk to her?” I ask. The answer seems so simple, but apparently it isn’t with the way that Nat frowns.

“Oh no. I’m still mad at her.”

I can hardly believe it. “It’s been almost a year and you’re still mad? Why? Because she kissed Mick?” I hadn’t meant to get so caught up in the conversation, but man it’s seriously bugging me and quite frankly, I want an answer out of Miss-I-never-admit-anything.

Nat bristles and crosses her arms. “The real question is, why didn’t you get mad about it?”

I snort. “And why would I?”

Nat looks like she’s about to respond and closes her mouth suddenly, like she’s holding something back. God, I hate when she does this.

“Say it,” I challenge her. “Say what you want to say.”

“Are we going to Georgia’s?” She cuts off our conversation and for good reason, seeing as I’ve driven into Georgia’s street. “Why?”

“I just need to pick up something quick from Violet,” I say hastily, parking in front of her house. “V said G’s not even home, so you can come in if you like.”

Nat looks at me closely. “Are you sure? Because I really need to pee.”

Despite being slightly annoyed at Nat earlier, I can’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, go for it. Gives me a chance to talk to Violet.”

“You’re kinda into her, aren’t you?” Nat asks slyly as we walk up the steps of G’s.

I blush. A rare act of mine, but here we are. “What makes you say that?”

Nat snorts. “We all noticed how you drooled over her ass. And did you think I missed the way you were talking to her? I had to save your sorry self.”

“Shut up,” I say, since now I’m embarrassed. I am James fucking Markinson for god’s sake; I do not need help hitting on beautiful women. I was born with this trait, baby. While Nat laughs, I send a quick text to Violet. Outside with Nat but she needs to piss so get G outside or smth

Two minutes later Violet opens the door and man oh man is she looking quite delightful in a bright yellow top and leggings and thank god for leggings, like they’re a real fucking blessing to mankind because of the delightful ass way they shape a woman’s ass and legs and just wow. Curves man. Really underappreciated. Not by me though. I love all women. This man is a lot of things but one thing he is not is discriminate. I’m about to say hello, to greet myself, but suddenly it appears that my brain is not connected to my mouth and words are unable to form. Hello?? James?? What is happening inside that big intelligent brain of yours???

“Can Nat pee?” Is all that can come out of my mouth. Wow. What is wrong with me? “Nat uh, needs to go. But I’m just here to pick up that thing. That you wanted me to pick up. Uh. Yeah.”

Nat looks at me strangely but doesn’t hesitate to say hi to Violet before passing the both of us inside. I don’t hear her climbing any stairs, so I assume she’s gone to the bathroom that’s on the ground level, just past the living room. Smart.

“So uh.” C’mon James. Save yourself from the weird look Violet’s probably giving you right now! “Where is G, anyways?”

If Violet thinks I’m being awkward or weird, she doesn’t say anything (thank fuck) and instead focuses on what I’m saying instead. “I locked her outside,” Violet says with a grin. She looks like me when she’s done something she’s not supposed to and god do I love that. “She doesn’t know yet since she’s tanning but I figure she’ll pick it up eventually. How are we going to get Nat outside with G, though?”

I chew my lip in thought until something comes to me. “Come with me,” I say impulsively. “We can just leave Nat inside and eventually she’ll see G and have to let her in, right?”

Violet raises an eyebrow. “And what about us?”

“We’ll leave so they’ll have no choice but to talk to each other.”

“Sounds like you just want to spend time with me.”

Finally, finally, I’m not feeling awkward to say the next words that come out of mouth. “An opportunity most girls would kill for.”

“Key word: most.”

“Ninety nine percent.”

“You’re that cocky, are you?”

My eyebrows rise. “Do you see this fine specimen in front of you right now?”

Violet giggles. “The only fine specimen I see is my reflection in your eyes.”

I chuckle because damn, she got me good.

“So you’re staring deep into my eyes, huh?” I ask, taking a step closer to her. There’s not a huge gap between us but it’s enough that she doesn’t feel weirded out, considering I’ve only met her twice. Another skill to add my long repertoire; my knowledge of societal rules.

Violet smiles and shakes her head and instead of responding says, “we should go before Nat and G catch onto our plan and – hey Nat! What are you doing?”

Fucking hell.

Nat stands in the front of the side gate with G in tow. Both look pissed off. This isn’t a good sign. “What are you guys doing?”

Georgia huffs. “What was the point of locking me outside when you knew we could go through the side gate?”

“And me through her house?” Nat crosses her arms and looks at the both of us before realisation setting on her face. “Were you guys planning to leave me here?”

To my surprise, Georgia snorts. “What’s that supposed to mean?” As far as I’m aware, Georgia and Nat haven’t spoken since they were friends. Even when Nat stopped talking to Georgia all those months ago, there was never a big fight or a screaming match or anything. Just silence. Straight up silence. That I know G hated at the time and to be honest, probably still does.

Nat opens her mouth like she’s about to say something – which would be great, in all honesty, as communication is the first step to getting over anything – but closes it. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” I can’t help but ask. I’m sorry (not sorry, actually) but I’m annoyed and I want them to make up already so my life can be a lot easier. “Nothing at all?”

“Nothing, James,” Nat shoots back. “Just fucking forget it.” And with that, she storms off and gets back inside my car, leaving one puzzled but deliriously gorgeous girl, an ex-friend upset and me scratching my head like how the fuck am I going to fix this.