Open Your Eyes

Exams came and went faster than I anticipated after that. Thanks to all the studying Sirius and I had been doing, we both passed out exams with flying colors, sending us on to our seventh and final year.

“I can’t believe it!” Lily cried, sitting next to me in the Great Hall. Her arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into her side. She was getting so emotional over this. “Lily, please it’s not like we’re never going to see each other again, besides I’ll send you letters nonstop all of break.” I groaned, prying myself out of her hold.

James was sitting on her other side, so he was the next target for Lily being over emotional with. Sitting across from the three of us was Sirius and Remus. Sirius had a cocky smirk on his face, while Remus almost looked awkward sitting there. He wouldn’t look at me or even speak to me.

We hadn’t said a word to one another since the day I found the note on my bed with the chocolate frogs. Lily had to have delivered it , as there was no way a boy would’ve been able to get into the girls dormitories. And the only person who I had told other than Lily that chocolate frogs were my favorite was Remus. Of course that was probably a fact anyone could figure out just by watching my habits.

Maybe I was wrong, maybe it wasn’t Remus that got all those sweets for me and left that note. Could I just be over thinking things?

“So what are your plans for break, Evans?” Sirius asked, his eyes locked onto Lily and James. Lily almost seemed like she was almost on the verge of tears. She was like this at the end of every school year, ever since the first.

“Oh, I’m not really sure just yet. I’ll probably just spend some quality time with my family.” She shrugged her shoulders ever so slightly. This obviously hadn’t been the ‘ever exciting’ answer that Sirius had been hoping food. “What about you Amery?” Lily looked over at me. I was a bit taken back by her question. What was I going to do over break?

Well to be completely honest, I didn’t even want to go home. Not that I could. A few days ago, I had received two letters. One from my mother, and one from the bar man at the Leaky Couldron in London.

The letter from my mother once more reiterated that I shouldn’t be coming home for the holidays, and she had set me up comfortably with a room at the Leaky Couldron for the entire length of break from school- should I need anything I was to let Tom, the bar man, know.

The letter I had received from Tom stated that they were looking forward to my stay, and reiterated the fact that if I needed anything to let him know and he would get it for me.

I hadn’t even told Lily the contents of the letter I received from my mother. Nor had I mentioned that I even received the one from Tom. So how was I supposed to answer my friends question without making them all worry?

“Oh, I don’t really have any plans. I’ve already read up on most of the subjects we’ll be taking next year so I guess I’ll probably take some time off from studying and just lounge around.” I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn’t a lie, nor was it something that would make her worry. Lily knew a majority of my time during breaks were spent studying and getting ahead.

Sirius’ nose scrunched up as he looked at me. “You’ve already started studying for next school year?” He scoffed, not believing it. Looking at the dark haired boy, I raised my eyebrows. “How else do you think I was able to tutor you so easily, hmm?” I pointed out.

I could see the gears turning in his mind as he thought over his response before nodding his head ever so slightly. Pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket, he quickly passed it across the table towards me.

“What’s this?” I questioned. Looking over the paper, I saw there were several differ not adresses scribbled over it. “We thought it would be best if you had a way to find us if you needed it.” It was the first words Remus had spoken to me in days. My heart paused ever so slightly before beating again at the sound of his voice.

My fingers clutched to the paper that had been handed to me. My heart began to ache. They cared enough that they wanted to stay connected during break, and yet I couldn’t even tell them the truth about what was going on.

Abruptly, I stood from where I was sitting next to Lily, causing everyone to look at me with worried eyes. “E-Excuse me, please.” I mumbled, quickly walking away from them all before they could say anything.

I didn’t stop until I had reached the common rooms, crashing down on the couch in front of the fire place. I sat on the couch, bringing my knees up under my chin while I watched the flames flickering.

I hadn’t noticed anyone else enter the common room until an arm wrapped around my shoulders, and whoever it was pulled me into them.

My breathing stuck in my throat ever so slightly and I hestitated before reaching out and clutching to the shirt he was wearing. “I may not be the best with words, but I can tell when something’s wrong. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, just know that I’m here.” Remus’ voice was so soft as his spoke.

His hold on me tightened ever so slightly when tears finally made their way down my cheeks. “I just don’t know what to do.” I cried. It was the truth, I really had no clue what to do about anything anymore.

He kept an arm wrapped around me before reaching up with the other and pushing my hair away from my face. “Just let it out. Cry if you have to, but don’t keep it bottled up because that will only make it worse. I’m here when you’re ready to talk.”